"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Exe's and O's....

My ex called me last night. 'Z'. I almost didn't take a break at 8, and he called me when I was out there. I dunno why he does honestly. He pretty much calls me when him and his g/f are fighting. He asked how things with WG were going. Asked if we were serious. I said yes. He asked if we lived together and I said no, it's only been 2 months and I am living alone for at least a year. I still get a chuckle out of the fact that he is supporting his girlfriend, her kid, and their kid. It's something I like to call...karma.

I worked 2 jobs when I lived w/him and he barely worked 1. He would get paid on Friday, and by Saturday, he would be broke. They would smoke/drink/pill pop it all away. While I was ignored, and not allowed to leave the house, and made fun of for being at work all the time.

I guess this time he didn't piss me off. He normaly doesn't but it makes me in a bad mood. I don't like to remember how crazy in love I was. I don't even think it was love, it was more just crazy. I had a lot of feelings for him, a lot of mixed-up, wacked-out feelings. Most of it had to do with the fact that he was the first guy I dated after my ex husband. And it was RIGHT after, while I was still separated. I latched on.

'Staring in her face, I see a past that still haunts me The road where we split up is paved with the things I didn't say We had wonderful times, but terrible timing Now just leave her alone, I'll just be in the way'

Well...where am I now? Certainly not unhappy. Or supporting someone. He seems to be happy being a dad. I still can't picture it. He was always so irresponsible. The only way I think about kids, is wondering if I will regret not having them. That is not a good reason to have them. People try to make you feel guilty when you don't want kids. Make you feel selfish. How could you not want kids? How could you want them?

At my second job, they had a petition going around last night. Most places, would not even read the petition, but I bet you they get some action out of it! It's a pretty nice place. They are moving and asked for our input on what we want in a new building, such as a smoking area. Which now we have a nice covered patio. At my first job, they stuck us out by a dumpster. In the wind and rain and snow. Better than nothing, but it's nice to be considered!

We don't get vacation at job 2. You earn 'benefit' time. And it takes roughly 1 month to earn a shift off. For me, its 4 hours. When I first started you could request a day off, and make up the time within the pay period. Someone didn't make their time up, which I would say is a supervisor's neglegance, but that one person got it taken away from us. Now we are signing a petition cus in our handbook, it clearly states we can have flex time. They never changed it. Say a prayer for me, so I can have a day off once in a while! I am starting to crack!!!!

Working there alone is like torture. I am tired of my music. Tired of listening to the same people talk about their same boring lives every night. Tired of the retarded people and their stupid antics that they think are funny. Typing the same jobs. I did make $17/hr last night to mindlessly type. So, I really can't complain. But I also can't wait to QUIT!!!!!!

I never said that I stayed the same weight yesterday. No loss, no gain. Yea. Next week it is game on, these women are bitter about losing to me. Gotta give em a run for their money you know!!!

100 Calorie packs. Best invention ever. As long as you leave them in the car, so you don't eat more than 1!! I got the Chips Ahoy. MMMMM!

Today's Question:

What is the most overused word in your vocabulary?

we just talked about this on break yesterday! 'FUCK!'


Tayray said...

The most overused word for me is 'WHATEVER'. It just comes out!! Some people ( Ahnolde ) says its just a nice way to say fuck off!!!

Rachel said...


I just got back from San Diego and got caught up on your blog. My God! You write A LOT! I had to actually take notes on what I wanted to comment on. First off, your new bunny, Chelsea, is absolutely adoreable. I agree about finding a new name. There are a lot of really great websites that give lists of names. Some names that I thought of that you can think about: Honey, Winnie (kind of goes with Boo), Safron...I'll let you know if I think of others. Glad she's feeling better. Babs got beat up by Oscar. She's feeling much better. She hates the medicine I have to give her and is all stitched up.

My most overused word? Actually a phrase: "Kind of awesome." from that Geico commercial. It's sarcastic.

Ahnolde said...

I think my most overused word is douchebag. I say it 15 times a day when I'm driving, esp. at rush hour!!

hot for jr. said...

My most overused word used to be 'fuck' also. I try to cut that out though around my man.

Mon said...

that is my second favorite song verse of edwins! its very true! life makes us better, through experience. he is deep! man, id like to have him deep. DID I JUST SAY THAT????????????????? LOL!

Anonymous said...

The most overused word in my vocabulary is Noah. It is normally followed by the words "no", "stop", and "don't". Thank God he is cute!


Mon said...

I love Winnie, and BOOS!
That is a great idea!
I talk to much, and I write too much! lol!