It's My Birthday! (Almost)

My days have been blazing by, because yet another one of my little birdies at work has left the nest. (got a promotion) I'm very happy when my girls can move up, but I'm pretty sad for me. I'm stuck on secretary AND supervisor duty until I can find someone equally as fabulous to replace her.

I simply hate the interview process, besides counselings and reviews its my #1 most hated duty.

I had my Momma sleep over last weekend. Remember when you couldn't wait to get away from your Mom? It was so fun to have her over! We hung out in our jammies and watched movies! Then,  we spent 9 hours Christmas shopping. I'm nowhere near done. Shopping under pressure is hard.

I read "Bared to You" in one day. And started book two. I thought it was safe to start since book 3 comes out NYE, but looks like I'm going to be waiting to find out what happens with Gideon and Eva...

After almost 2 months off from daily running, (slacking) I started back at it full tilt, and I've finally tried SPINNING 3 days a week!! I love the team environment, which fuels my desire to push myself. Running and spinning in the same day makes Jill a tired girl, and I have been crashing very early!

I'll be doing a Christmas caroling run next week with a local running group. Dress festive, and sing carols while running through the neighborhoods. I'm pretty excited about this one, it's all fun, and no pressure!

I've been preparing for my 37th birthday party this weekend! (omg...I'm almost 40!!!)  I'm having the ladies over for another wine party, where we all bring our favorite wines, and cheeses, and then go tripping the light fantastic at my favorite dance club, and forget that we are entering mid-life.

Today, marks the one month anniversary of my legendary attendance of the Madonna concert! I'll never ever, get tired of reliving this memory!

How are your holiday plans coming along?

Mr. Magoo got a haircut for Christmas, and a new sweater.

 

Snuggles.

Get a Friggin' Job, Assholes!

I don't live in the best neighborhood. But, that is why I am able to afford such a large, beautiful, affordable duplex, that accepts my 5 pets at no extra cost, a mere 6 miles from work!

Latley, the crime around here, is ridiculous! Shootings, muggings, local restaurants, and fast food chains being held up for stupid amounts of money (often less than $100) And even a bank was held up in the past two months.

This all hit too close to home when acquantences that live about 6 blocks away had their house burglarized between 9 and 11 am this week. Some assholes kicked down their back door, and took their gaming systems, TV, jewelry. Turns out, their entire block was victem to these "pillow case" bandits.

Yes, times are hard. Jobs may be scarce, but that does not entitle any one person to steal from their fellow man! You struggle, and work hard like most honest people on this earth seem to do!

I don't have a lot, but what I do have, took me my entire adult life to acquire. I had to work two jobs for over 4 years to get out of a debt hole, and regain financial stability. I didn't enjoy it. But it never crossed my mind to rob an innocent, hard-working person, or a business to get myself out of debt.

I think it's disgusting that some thugs feel they are entitled to what you have, just because they are too lazy to work hard for it. Or, because they chose to dabble in drugs, and now have an addiction that they cannot support.

After being a renter for many years, I finally broke down and got insurance. I can no longer live inside my fantasy world where everyone respects each other, and minds their own business.  I'm now living under the assumption that "people are assholes".

Putting the "Ass" in "Assisting"...A.K.A...Being A Good Boss...

I have had a long and sordid career in the business of assisting. I didn't go to college, so, I have depended on my high school vocational training (Office Systems Specialist!) to get my foot in the door, and then relied on my amazing work ethic, and willingness to learn, to take it from there.

After lots of mediocre jobs...I finally landed a really low-paying job as a secretary (not even an Administrative Assistant) at a ginormous company, assisting 4 Vice Presidents, at about half the pay of being a marketing assistant to ONE person, at my previous job. (while also working a night job doing data entry to make ends meet)

Luckily, I had an awesome boss and mentor at the time, and my ability to learn, and grow, work two jobs and still be "present", and train new employees got me a promotion in a little over a year, which doubled my salary, (this took me from "hourly" to "salary") and allowed me to quit the second job (when she told me my new salary, I cried, and said I was turning in my 2 week notice that the night at the second job) and now I supervise all the assistants to the Vice Presidents at my company.

I also take on the added role of assisting one of the executives when his assistant is out. Now, I am doing this for FOUR weeks. And I love it! I love being busy, doing my regular work, and still developing my employees. 

What I am most proud of, in all of this, is that I haven't forgotten where I started, and I love to learn and understand everything myself, before I pass it off on one of the Secretaries to do. I fill in for them in their absence, so when they come back they are not overwhelmed, and their VP's have no lapse in "service" while they are out.

This has gained me the respect, and appreciation of those that I supervise, and those that they support.

I believe that a good boss knows the job that they are supervising, and everything that goes into it! Not just how to delegate, and manage.

There is nothing like receiving countless thank you cards, and appreciative emails from the people that work for you. I love those moments when one of the girls tells me they are so thankful to have me as a boss, and that they love working for me.

I wish more "bosses" took such an active interest in what their employee's do on a day to day basis. In my opinion, this is the way you manage.

It keeps you connected, and appreciative of all the hard work your employees do.

Happiness is...Smart People...

I am usually a pretty smart girl. I know my way around computer software, I'm Microsoft certified for fucks sake.

At work a girl made one singular change to an access query that jacked up exactly 9 tables, and 15 linked queries that we base countless reports on.

blah blah, boring computer talk, and software lingo no one cares about.....etc...etc...

I spent a couple of hours trying to figure out why it happened, and then I thought to myself "self, you work for a ginormous company, and there is an entire department dedicated to backing up everything you do".

*So, I called the help desk, and had the freaking file restored to the way it was yesterday at 5:00pm. Cue celebratory music, people lifting me up on their shoulders, and carrying me around, a corporate hero......I earned my salary today with that one. That's why I'm the boss.

Today I am thankful for people way smarter than me, and, that lovely 4 digit extension I can call any time I, or someone I know fucks something up.

I wish there was a help desk extension for life. Imagine how awesome I would look then!

*(This also comes in handy when you "accidentally move a folder full of stuff somewhere because you clicked on it, and have no idea where it wound up. Not that I know first hand or anything.)

Off the Sauce...

It occurred to me today, that it would have been my 15 year anniversary with my ex husband, and 20 years together. Why do I care? I don't, it just occurred to me is all. Its been over for 12 years.

It's been 3 days with no wine. And..considering what's been going on at work (turns out I hired someone who has simply done nothing but cause problems) the past few weeks, this is an accomplishment! I had been drinking every day. A whole bottle of wine. A regular bottle? No, the big ones.

I think my liver thanks me, as does my bank account, and certainly, the scale since it's been a few weeks since its moved anywhere. I feel like I wasted that time, and I could have easily been to my 10lb goal by now.

Instead of working out to eat, I have been working out to drink. I have to admit, working out to drink is way more fun. And you can sleep just fine when you've downed a bottle of wine.

On the other hand, I have had a blast clothes shopping. My credit card is on fire. I never enjoyed it before, but when you try things on and you don't hate the way they fit, its hard to put them back on the rack...I also realized that no matter what size you are, they never have your size. I always thought there were only smaller sizes. Now, there are only larger sizes.

My favorite purchase was a size 6 pair of jeans....with...wait for it....a BELT! I don't remember the last time I wore a belt. And I certainly never wore a size 6, that's for sure!

I have still been lunging around the house, trying to fix the derrier, and have seen progress, so if you want a firmer butt, walk-lunge around the house!

I still havn't totally blown off the guy I was seeing because it turns out I'm a chicken shit, and I'm no good at letting people down. I thought he'd just go away if I ignored him but it turns out I'm too awesome to forget. But...I'm working on it.

Things That Make Ya Go...YAAAY!

It's Friday. Week 14. I lost 4lbs this week, which means I met my second goal of 50lbs! My total body fat loss is 14%! (so, in the past 4 years, I've lost 106lbs!!!)

How do I feel? Well, considering I am 21lbs from my personal goal, and a mere 26 from what Dr.'s think is my ideal goal....I'd have to say I feel pretty flipping amazing!

And tired, and well...my feet hurt!

I was walking into work this week, and passed by a girl in my department that I see probably on a weekly basis. I said "Hi coworker!" as she passed me ...and she ignored me, walked a few steps and turned around and said, "I totally didn't even know that was you, can we talk about your figure? You look amazing".

A couple of the VP's at work have taken to calling me "slim". Use that in a sentence.."hey slim, how's it going?" Are you talking to ME? Oh, yes, I guess you are!

Does this sort of thing get old? Well if it did I certainly wouldn't be blogging about it.

More than how it feels to wear cute clothes, and be comfortable hanging out at home naked (which is my uno #1 favorite thing about spinsterhood by the way) Accomplishing something I have failed at for so long is really what feels the most amazing.

I'm doing this. No one is making me work out. No one is punishing me for having a reese cup (or 5, so what?) or telling me that the world will come to a halt if I absolutely have to miss a work out. It's all me. What I do or don't do shows on the scale, I'm the one responsible for it.

And now, when people say they wish they had my dedication, I have started saying "instead of wasting all my energy on assholes, I'm spending it on me". I don't have anything everyone else doesn't have. I just actually stuck to something and put myself first.

Ummm...Did I mention I lost 50 lbs in a little over 3 months? I did? Well, anyhow, I want to rent a billboard, and inspire the world!

I also want to dance to shake it for me cowgirl, by Luke Bryan, which I'm a bit ashamed to say that I like, but it takes me back to my early 20's, when a friday night was alabama slammers, and bud ice's, and lots of boot stomping at the boot scoot salloon with my girlfriends! I love it!

Now, bring on the celebratory Moscato!!!

A New Kinda Stash...And, a Douchebag...

Remember how I said this week is all big meetings and I had reese cups and normally I'd run around and hoard junk food? Well, this time, I hoarded all the fruit. Whenever I entered a room, and grabbed something I giggled out loud. Boy have I changed!

Check out my stash!!!!!

That's over a week's worth of snacks for me! I'd have eaten all the cookies in a day.

I had a 2lb loss tonight, bringing my 13 week total to 46lbs!! Which I'm happy with because:

1) I'm getting closer to goal and it may start to slow down so a loss is a bonus!
2) I missed a few miles this week
3) I've had a consistent loss for 13 weeks now
4) My instructor messaged me on our fitness site and said I was looking good she saw me in my shorts this week

In douchebag news, I had a date tonight. Early this morning, I found out my 96 year old Grandma passed away, natural causes. I was stressed out from work already, and then sad because I hadn't visited her in a while, so I was down in the dumper. I'm sad that my Dad's side of the family is slowly fading out. And sad because I'm getting older. Then I was sad when I thought that if I believed in heaven, my Dad would be there to greet her. Personally, I saw her in all the birds today. That's just my thing.

So, I texted my date bright and early, and told him I wasn't up for going out because my Grandmother had passed away.

And....... I never got a response. Not an Ok. Not an I'm sorry...nada. Zilch. Zip!

Um, you can happily cross yourself off my future husband list! And chalk it up as your loss! Let this cocksmoker try to ask me out on another date. Who wants to spend their golden years with someone who doesn't even acknowledge when a family member dies? /rant

In crush news, we found out last week my security guard crush at work has a girlfriend. One of my friends asked him. (isn't this so high school...???) Then, I caught him twice today passing my desk, and after clearing my cubicle opening (I have high walls) he turned around and looked me dead in the eyes. I know this because I still look at him when he walks by. Crushes with girlfriends are like diets, you can look but not touch.

Maybe his girlfriend isn't a looker?

Maybe he thought my friend was asking for herself?

The world, may never know. What I do know is now when he comes thru the department and all the girls are abuzz with excitement for me, I simply announce...."Ladies, we totally broke up, and it's his loss"

I think I should get "It's his loss" tattooed on my ass.

Universe: Please do not let me get drunk one night and think that is actually a good idea.

Letting myself off the hook...

It's the most busy week known to me at work in the history of the work year.

I'm a stress eater. Normally, I'd visit all the meeting rooms, and pick up all the leftover cookies, bagels, candies, and juices and bring them to my department, and stash some at my desk, and have like...five cookies in a row. And like a snickers. And a bagel for good measure. And some cokes. And then I'd feel like vomiting afterwards.

Today, I had 5 mini reese cups. I felt like total shit, because a couple of times I've had carbs, but never sugar. Sugar is my nemesis!

I couldn't do my usual 6 miles, because I was putting fires out, and only got 3 miles after work, followed by my hour bootcamp class. (which was so hard, my KNEES were sweating!)

And by the end of the day, I let myself off the hook. Because the 200 calories I consumed in those reese cups pales in comparison to my usual stress binge, and I still did my workouts. I still won. I still didn't give in to my usual urges to over do it.

So...I went home, took off my sweat soaked clothes, and enjoyed my scalding hot spa bath.

Then, I poured myself a glass of sangria, cut in half with seltzer water, and decided that slip ups don't mean I am a failure. I am human. I make mistakes just like anyone else. The difference is, I didn't say my usual "well I might as well eat bad all day because I blew it" and I still stuck to my snacks, and regular calorie meals, and didn't try to "make up for it" by not having dinner.

To me, it was a victory.

I'm smiling inside. And that's all this girl needs!

Authoritar...

So you know how I'm the coolest supervisor in the world, right? Well everyone has their breaking point. The best part about my work, is they mainly promote from within. I work with 14 Vice Presidents who all started out in retail. No one handed them their jobs, they earned them.

I've blogged about annoying coworker before. She's related to everyone, including the Kellogs (of the cereal fortune) MC Hammer (she's white, from WV) and like 15 presidents.

I'm not joking.

But she doesn't have much common sense. Today? I had to give her a verbal warning, for arguing with a VP.

Ok, she's a secretary, to 5 VP's...... and she was arguing with one of the VP's. He didn't even want me to say anything, but I heard thru the grapevine what went down, and approached him about it. Because it's like, my JOB to keep this department running smoothly, right?

He use to be "my" VP too. He's totally sweet. Laid back, easy going, nice as can be, (cute!) and all 14 of them, treat each one of us like gold, never look down on us, or act like they are in any way above us.

You don't find that everywhere.

I had to give a 40 something woman, a talk about perception. And how you may not think you are being argumentative, but you always have to be aware of how others may perceive your actions. You don't tell a VP that they are wrong. There are ways of going about this sort of thing. Like, calling your supervisor (me) to smooth over the situation.

I mean, call me crazy, but to me this is common sense.

This brings me to my dilemma. Week night drinking. I have partaken in wine three nights this week, and I'm terrified of weighing in as a result.

Three hour workouts all week? Yes. Sticking to the diet? Yes, aside from wine. Which until now, has been strictly enjoyed on Friday nights, with 7 days to burn off all the calories.

I finally got "don't work out just to eat".....and now, I'm worried about "don't work out just to drink."

Friday night? Girls night! Pre-party at my house with some Moscato, before trekking it up to the Highland Theater (yes, they have a full bar inside!) to see Hangover 2, and have some much needed laughs, and girl bonding.

I am so stinking excited!

And maybe, even some dancing at the local non-hetero bar next door, where they make the best vodka sodas, play the best music, and is within walking distance, or a $5 cab ride home.

Good things and Good People...(namely ME)

I had mentioned before how things at the job were changing. The new boss thing went through. No one really can stand this person, I told this persons boss, who asked me before making the change, that I can get along with anyone. And, I really can. I'm easy going, go with the flow.

Let's hope I don't eat my words. But the reason behind it was selfish...my development as a manager with the company will be more attended to with the new boss.


But this isn't about stuffy old work stuff.

I met with my old boss who first, who told me that my merit increase went through. Which, you know, 3% is always nice to see each year. But on top of that? The company decided to re-evaluated my salary, and that I needed an adjustment. So, ummmmm, someone ended up getting a 7.5% raise!!!!!! (ME!!) (this also means my BONUS next year will be even MORE!!!)

I was completely caught off guard. I mean, when I was promoted from a lowely secretary, I couldn't believe the raise they gave me, which doubled my salary at the time and enabled me to quit working two jobs.

Now? All I have to say is that I am sure glad my job at my last company was eliminated after 7 faithful years, which led me to the current employer. And that I didn't waste tens of thousands on college, and instead went to vocational school to learn my office-ly talents, was taught a good work ethic from my parents, and am just plain awesome.

Oh, and I'm also glad that I get a bad-ass discount on jewelry, because in celebration of my new found wealth, I am trading in my 1/3ct princess cut earrings, for 1/2ct! HALVES! I can hardly stand it! Before you know it I'll be on my way to full carats!

Ok, so I'm also being responsible and putting the entire raise automatically into a savings account, so that I can buy new furniture, and save for my very own house, since I seem to be getting along just fine without it.

I can hardly believe how fantastic things are going, just because I believed they would! It's kinda my reward for being jerked around the past few years. I'll take it!

P.S. Officially only two sizes from REAL goal size. I am into my "I'll live with it" size. But I'm not settling!

I think I'm going to get my run on while listening to this song today. Oh yea.

It's good to have dreams....Unless they terrify you..

I've been having some recurring dreams latley. I'm trapped somewhere. In a car, in a closet, in an elevator, and I can't breathe. In my dream I think..."I'm not claustrophobic....wake up...wake up"



And I wake up gasping for air. My favorite dream to have, is when I'm sleeping and I'm either in bed, and wake up to a man over me, about to attack me and I can't scream. Or, I'm asleep, and I get up to pee, and someone is hiding in my bathroom closet to attack me, and I can't scream. Or a ghost attacks me and I can't scream, and it won't leave.



Last night, the ghost was Ellen Degeneres. The common theme is I can't scream. It means that I've been left alone to deal with something and I wish someone would hear and help me. (in dream interpretation) Gee, now I wonder what this would have to do with.



Not the fact that I end just about every night in bed thinking about someone I really should despise. I need to get over that. Pronto! The fact that I'm physically exhausted from my workouts, is enough to make me insane. Add to that at least one nightmare an evening, where I can't fall back asleep for hours. Then sprinkle it with a dash of one of my employees got promoted (good for her, and me cus I'm the one who hired her) at the exact same time that I have one going out on maternity leave, making me do THREE peoples jobs, plus interview and hire a new person, and you have a recipe for the next couple of months flying by.



I also have to deal with one (annoying coworker) not getting the job and having some animocity towards the other.

Three Things...

1. I'm suppose to go out to see a band tonight. But I'm contimplating not going, because I'm not being picked up. Is this too much to expect from a guy, or what? I don't think it is. Or am I expecting a mind reader and I should tell said person I prefer to be picked up? Or, should I make up a story and just not go, and say...see you on Saturday, when you come pick me up?

I've got a little thing going these days called a zero tolerance for bullshit. I am too old and have no time for it. I know what I want so why pretend that I don't? I wouldn't want to be a (insert exassholemanfriends last name here) and drag someone along with me while I pretend that what I want really isnt what I want.

Supriiiiiise!

No thank you!

Also, I still dont have liscense plates. I have a peice of paper in my back window. I have a wobbly tire, a headlight out, and a prior dui. I'm like screaming to be pulled over.

I might just become a hermit. It's way less stressful.

2. More changes at work. Where now I'm responsible for making sure management gets their pay/promotions/ increases in a timely manner. Ummmm, this has made me "annoying in your business all the time boss" because I am so scared someones going to fall thru the cracks. No one really ever notices the good things you do. But fuck up their pay? You better change your name and move to Canada.

3. I start bootcamp again this weekend. It's cheaper than crossfit, and I know that it works. So, I'm prepared to do 1500 jumping jacks in a row, and be responsible for other people suffering if I fail in a class. I work best under pressure!

Moments I'm not proud of...

Today, I may have said to an employee "Just change it, make it happen, I don't care (insert name), it's just fucking font!!" while maybe raising my voice. Firstivly, you don't argue with your supervisor, which she was. What I say goes.

I would like to think that in comparison to like, the President's job, this particular font incident, was as important as going to war or something. I mean, Arial is a common font, and all of Microsoft's programs have it, so arguing with me that it magically changed from Arial to Tahoma when you moved something from Word to Publisher, is just crap, and telling me the font isn't available in Publisher vs. admitting you made a stupid freaking mistake, will just get you cussed at. Damn.


But, it wasn't as important as war, I just lost my cool. Actually the rest of the department said they are suprised it took me two years to blow up on this particular employee, so that has to mean something, right?

I'm awaiting my call from H.R.

Mean People Suck

I was up til 2:30am, working for ChaCha. Usually its entertaining but all I did was answer questions about the lunar eclipse. So I decided to stay up and see it. Its peak was at 3:17am in case you cared.

If you missed it, it looked like a freaking half moon. Big whoop.

But this made me tired today. When I am tired I get goofey.



So, can you tell that the celementines, are my grapefruits hair?

You should always play with your breakfast foods, and make your employees laugh.
If not, you suck as a boss, and people talk about you behind your back.


P.S. I'm aware that they probably do when you draw smilies on your fruit as well, but I'd rather be known for being fun, than being a bitch.

Sports...meh...

I'm not sure how other places work, but growing up in Ohio, it always seemed like our sports teams were the suck. Except for Ohio State, who from what I hear never seems to disappoint.

I havn't been to a Cav's game since the whole lebron phenominon. Prior to Lebron, you could find tickets to a game laying in the streets. No one went. I dated a guy who had season tickets, and we were there with like 20 other people. Seriously.

(Right around the time the Cavaliers underwent their makeover. From orange and blue to wine and gold)

It was a lot of fun to go this time, post lebron (cus even though I dont like sports i really didnt like him) to see that all the seats were filled, and the game was close right up until the very last second, and everyone stayed to support the team.

I may have had alterior motives for cheering them on (a free chalupa if they hit 100 points, or if the other team doesnt score 80) but after they surpassed my free food expectations, I still wanted the team to win.

Despite my hatred for sports, and especially squeaky basketball sneakers, I had a good time! Even though we still had to pay $10 to park, AND THEN walk 2 miles. (my biggest Cleveland complaint besides traffic, is their ridiculous parking prices! I'm from the little city down South, we don't roll that way. We have things like.. free parking. Or Parking for a dollar! And free concerts every week! And mostly our homeless hang out around the shelter, and don't venture too far to hassel you at every turn)

Fun, that is..until my brother texted me that my being at the game made their winning streak stop.

We're a really loving family. Can you tell?

I like to Rumba...

And, ChaCha!

I took on a new work from home job, as, I have said I'm going thru some stuff, so I have plenty of time on my hands. I'm not goin anywhere for a while, so instead of a snickers, I grabbed another gig!

If you think you may be interested in working from home, with no committment to how many hours, or when you work, for 100% free, look into being a ChaCha Guide.

It's super fun, and really interesting. It's similar to google sms (if you've ever used that) for ChaCha you text your question to 242242. The questions are always entertaining!

If you sign up, use me as a referral pleeeeease! monlink@yahoo.com

Happy ChaCha-ing!!

Setting a good example...

I work for a ginormous company, that is the corporate headquarters for lots and lots and lots of retail stores.I get to work today and we have two emails. All of home office systems are down. So you know, customers can't call to ask about their credit, or complain. When people can't complain they get pissed off. They start going up the chain of command and guess who works at the top with the vice presidents?

They turned off the phone number to customer service. Gone. You don't think people will find a way around that?

And I don't like customers. I did my time working with the public at Taco Bell for four years. You want to talk about time served. That's time served times 10 because they are 99% drunk, high, or both, plus I worked in the ghetto for most of that time. People stole our toilet tank cover almost every day.

No computer systems. How do you run a business w/no systems?

This reminds me of those late nights at the bell when I'd be the only one working (yes, we always had to CUT HOURS as shift managers) and I would be so slammed w/drive thru drunks, I never had a second to drop meat. So, I'd periodically run out of chicken, or beef.

Try telling a drunk person you don't have chicken or beef at Taco Bell.

Those are the days that I'd turn the lights off, and pretend to be closed. If you ever drove up on South Arlington Street Taco Bell and it was closed when it shouldn't have been after 2 am....I was probably managing that night.

P.S. This girl also scored Cav's tix in the company suite in two weeks!

Crash course in Mommy Dearest...

Being a supervisor is mostly like being a Mom minus the horrid memories (I'd imagine) of child birth.

This week I had this conversation:

"I stood up and saw so and so emailing so and so about me being on the rampage with my pregnancy hormones. So I asked her if she had a problem with me, and she had nothing to say. I know she doesnt' know I know she was emailing so and so about me, but I know. Me being the way I am has nothing to do with pregnancy. If I were some people, I'd be offended, and have this taken to HR"

Seriously people. This turned into an hour and a half meeting. And I had to take it seriously.

Do I manage teenagers you ask? Oh no, we're all in our 30's.

In other news, I'm on 3 more weeks of antibiotics, nasal spray and claritin. I have fluid in my ear. Doesn't look like I'll be hearing for some time now.

I have a date with new guy this weekend, and I'm super excited about it.

Microsoft...You can Suck it..

I may or may not have mentioned my extreme dislike for Microsoft 2007. In particular, excel and word.

Now, I've been using said programs for about 10 years ok, more like 15, shut it. New versions come out, you never notice the upgrade, life is beautiful.

Not this time. The 2007 version sucks balls. Every day it takes me on average an extra 15-20 minutes in downtime searching for simple things..you know, like the print button. Or, how to turn your page to landscape, or turn on gridlines...TO PRINT, because now thats two separate options. You can turn them on, but they dont print unless you also check print gridlines.

Today, I merged 15,000 documents using a word mail merge. I wanted to proof random documents, and tried to go to print, and pick random page numbers.

Um...you can't print random pages anymore. I went to the microsoft website, and you can only print pages, if you put the page numbers in the header/footer.

How fucking dumb-ass retarded is that? I have a 60,000 page document, and I can't pick what pages I want to print unless I number the pages. Its a document full of 4 page documents. If I page number it according to Microsoft, itll be numbered 1-60,000.

Someone made an assload of money to piss off a lot of people.

I hate people that say, it's more user friendly too. Because it isn't its freaking retarded.

Ok, thanks!

The Breakfast Line...

In the breakfast line in the grill at the office:

Grill guy: "did you guys see that (whatever kind of kids jumbo water slide with water guns on it) was on sale at toys r us for $200?"

Coworkers: "yea it's normally $500"!

Grill Guy: "I got one for my kids"

Me: "when I was little I had to swim in a trash can"

At least I wasn't alone, my friend Stephanie use to play in there too.