"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Bottoms Up!!!!.....

One day closer to Friday! Today, I am going to talk about exes, because I had some fun times back in the day. Of course, at the time, it was not so funny!

To start:
I found out through the grapevine that a friend of mine went to TWDSO house this wknd. For that party I mentioned last week that we normally had. I don't understand what the big secret is, they were friends before I was friends with her, so......? I think its funny that anyone really thinks that I still care that much, that it would hurt, or upset me to find this information out!?
Maybe, if he were getting married already, that might sting!! I have been divorced for 6 years, and I bawled for days when I found out my ex 'might' be married again, cus a friend of mine's boyfriend ran into him. He said he had a 'stepson' so I assumed he is remarried. Cried for days!!!! But I also loved him way more than TWDSO.

I'm over TWDSO in that respect. Actually, it made me feel better to know that he can't throw a good party, because I did all the work, and he is a lazy ass. Or, that he is too stupid to plant flowers, and let all that I did go to shit! He is lame! Said girlfriend was there. I heard they didn't talk. But I know, that they had to act like they weren't together because they work for the same company, and he is in management. There were other coworkers there they had to keep it on the DL. I really don't feel like I am missing anything not being with him. I was miserable. I am the happiest I have ever been being on my own! I like depending on myself!

And the title story is about my ex husband. Let's keep in mind, that we met when I was 16 and he was 15. We dated all through high school. Broke up a few times but he always suckered me back into his life. Moved in together at 18, Married at 20. Divorced at 23. We had a really crazy relationship. I didn't trust him at all cus of all the cheating he did. Great reason to get married BTW. He had a drug problem, and the biggest problem was that he lied to me about it. Spent all our money, and I never got new clothes or paid our bills. He charged me tons of jewelry though. Most of which I pawned when we got divorced. I never got more than $500 for all the crap either!! Anyhoo, his drug problem involved his friends. He spent 99% of his time with his friends. He was never home. He always lied to me about who he was with and where he was going. My friend Katie and I are accomplished spies. We have been on many a covert op, and found out lots of interesting tidbits this way.
This such incident, he simply said,

EXHUS: "I'm going out with my friends"
ME: "Where?"
EXHUS: "I dunno, some bar"

he leaves.....
ringgggg....I call katie.

ME: "are there any strip bars around here?"
KATIE: "there is a few"
ME: "i think EXHUS went to one wanna go?"

This was [one of] the most classic moment in our history. Because we just so happened to pick the skankiest strip club around, called 'Bottoms Up'. Loe and behold, his car was there. I should say, MY car was there!
I paged him 3 or 4 times from the pay phone outside, he never called me back. The idea was, that he'd have to come out of the bar to use the phone, and see me there. But, he often ignored my pages. We decided, we'd just go in the bar, why not? We were 'of age'.

Cut to Katie, biffing it in the parking lot on the way in. She got road rash on her hands and everything! The true friend that she is, she got up, and we pressed on to the door. She asked the guy at the door if girls went in there. He said "all the time" so why not, in we go!!

At this point in my life, I was 19 I think, I am old and I don't remember. +But until then I had 2 stripper experiences, to be outlined later+. There was some skank on the stage fingering her asshole. That vision is forever burned in my head!!!! And, there was an equally skank chick at the table with my husband!!! These, were skanks, this was not jealousy talking at all! It was a dive!

ME: "This is SOME bar you found here!"
EXHUS: "Yea, I know" (acting cool around friends who he drove in my car)
ME: "Well, have fun getting home"

We left, and I drove my car home, stranding him at the strip club. This is not the only time that I took my car while he was out kicking it. I have tons of stories from this era!

Until that time I had 2 stripper experiences. One, was also with Katie, and Stacy, we were 18. We went on vacation just the girls, to SC and stayed with my sister. She took us to 'The Golden Banana' what a great name! It was a real male strip club, they werent like chip n dales, it was funny! Katie actually got on stage with the ice cream man and had a whip cream cone made in her mouth, and was mauled in front of us all! It was CLASSIC! Then, you know, they shake their shit in your face, and not only that, they actually smack you with it. I wish I was joking. I think it traumatized me for life!! lol! The second time, would be my bachelorette party. When we left the bar and got the bright idea at like 2am to call up a stripper. He came! To my house! I have pictures! lol!!! I was really embaressed!!!!!!!!!! He tied me up and blind folded me, and ate whip cream off my crotch lol! Some women get off on that, I personally, couldn't stop laughing!! Since that I went to 1 other bachelorette party with strippers and I hid the whole time. They make me feel dirty. I don't think you should have to pay for attention from men like that, and they only do it for the money. I think, most women, are too smart for strippers. That's why its a mans thing, theirr pretty dumb when naked women are around!

This concludes today's trip down memory lane.

Today's Question:

In what area of your life are you the neediest?

I think love. I say I don't want or need it, but I think it is only because I have been hurt so many times. I really want it, I like having it, but it scares me just as equally.


Rachel said...

I'm the neediest when it comes to my husband. I love depending on him. It's bad. I'm going to have to be real independent after he leaves for San Diego, and I'm still stuck in St. Louis.

Anonymous said...

You are supposed to change the names in your stories to protect the innocent! That would be me. It was nice to relive the story that will be the title of my book "Twisted my ankle in the nudity bar parking lot and other stories of why men are assholes"!!!

The golden banana. You left out the part about me getting you a lap dance. I think his name was Hunter. You still owe me for that little bit of joy that I brought to your life.


Mon said...

Katie: holey crap i totally forgot about my lap dance!! And you remembered his name! 2 heads are better than one! He use to play for Jacksonville football team! Man he was hot! I remember he had a scratchy butt cus he shaved it and it was stubbly! ahhhhhhhhhh haaaa! things you remember!!

That is a huge adjustement to make!!

hot for jr. said...

I'm so glad that everyone remembers their experiences at The Golden Banana. It was my 'big sister' responsibility to make sure you young girls had fun on spring break, but didn't get into trouble while doing it! LOL I too remember the flopping of male parts all over me, and I had a sweat / baby oil stain on the silk shirt I wore that night.

Katie: There's a side to you I never knew about!! I had no clue you enjoyed hanging out with Mon at the local strip joints. I can see Mon in that situation, but you were always the quiet, reserved one. I guess it's true when they say it's the quiet ones you have to watch out for!!

Mon said...

Ok you know I'm dying cus Katie is my friend, you think I have any quiet friends???? She was always my partner in crime! She is the one who taught me all my spyin' skills!