"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year....

I happen to be working only 4 hours today. Then I plan to workout, and rest up for some festivities tonight. By festivities I mean...drinking. I'm headed to the big city (Cleveland) because no one ever does anything of excitement in the little city (Akron). I don't remember the last time I had a fun New Years at home? I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but perhaps it's a challenge to be more exciting? I could have tried to plan some elaborately fun event, but no one would attend. I really never thought it would be so hard to get folks together. Haters.

I believe we are headed to a couple of parties, and ending the evening at the manfriends with friends. We were going to do wine but if we're traveling to parties, I certainly am not stashing my wine in someone elses fridge. I take my drink seriously. Like, seriously, I'd pound you if I caught you drinking my shit. Getchur own!

I've realized in my quest for fitness (a.k.a giving up beer, hey, you gotta start somewhere) it's the pits to party away from home or bars. No one has alchohol at their house to offer. Beer? Sure. Maybe some plastic bottle vodka or something (yack).

And, I sure as shit am not going to leave my unfinished alchohol at your house so you can drink it, that shit aint cheap. It's quite the predicament. The manfriend and I were at BW3 watching UFC with is friend and the friends girlfriend, when they decided (after we'd had one whole drink, and they were trashed) we should go see their new house. "you can come over and have some beer, and play cornhole". I'm so socially unacceptable anymore. Maybe I'll invent a mobile liquer delivery. Go ahead and laugh. I have fabulous ideas.

I usually don't do this, but it's the year for change.
In the new year, I plan to:

  • work towards meeting my bootcamp goals
  • Getting pretty drunk New Years, kissing my cute manfriend, and then getting lucky. Wink.
  • Quitting smoking with the help of Chantex (the manfriend is gonna quit too so we can really test our love for one another.......wink)
  • Eating more spaghetti squash w/marinara and kidney beans. I mean really, there is nothing more dee-dilly-icious in the world. Besides maybe, nutter butters. But we won't go there.
  • Get a shih-poo
  • Perfect a nearly no-calorie yet delicious, well-traveled alhoholic bevy
  • Finish my closet so I can steal the manfriend and lock him inside
  • Pay off my employee account at work
  • Stop buying jewelry so I can do the previous task
  • Go to the dentist A.K.A conquer my phobia, that has kept me away since my horrific wisdom teeth experience at 17 where I was fully awake and had my teeth ripped from my gums. This one is necessary...but hard.
  • Move. Preferably into a house. Screw this apartment searching, it's pretty pointless. Especially if I am going to get a shih poo, and have two dogs. I have too much crap to move into an apartment.
  • Buy an IRA or some other smart sounding investment into my old age so I don't have to die alone eating cat food
  • Pay my city taxes. I guess. (I have not done so for like, 4 years, because oh yea, I already pay city taxes out of my check and paying to the city I also live, that claims they are not a city therefore need to tax me, is fucking stupid)
  • Print the last 4 years of digital pictures like real pictures you can hold
  • Put said pictures into albums
  • organize all my pictures, and burn to CD

Mine aren't resolutions. I think resolution means you have problems. I have no problems, I'm at peace with all these things, but I'm a self development whore, and I like to improve my mental state, so why not branch out.

What are your goals?

Buy me a shih poo I'll let you kiss its nose!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

lucky isnt for the irish...//Help me get a puppy...

Look what else arrived, sometime in the last week, but I have to walk to get my mail and that's a pain in the ass up and down the hill of doom I live on, so I just got it.

I won these over at Cleveland's a Plum. That's my stolen rubick's cube too...but that just means I'm too lazy to crop the photo. Anyway. At first I was like, who in their right mind would pay that much for socks ($15) (mind you, I won a contest thankyouverymuch) but then I put them on. Their way nicer tham my fashmere (faux cashmere) socks from Marcs. Plus, they came with a cherry on top, that the cat's found to be a worthy toy. I wish they'd find a mouse to be a worthy toy.

So I did buy some scratch off's and I didn't win. That's not true, I won $1. That $1 winner could be my $5,000 winning ticket. I've decided that my contest where I pay it forward, (and YOU could be a winner!!!) is going to be for Valentine's day. Because I actually got good gifts that I'm not regifting. And, Valentine's day is fun. Who wouldn't wanna be my pen-valentine? So, details to follow. After New Year's though.... I have important things to do like, double and triple workouts so I can drink. You know one last hur-rah for the new year.

I wish I had someone to make some yummy polish keilbasa (turkey of course) and saurkraut for me. It's too much work. I may just throw it in the crock pot.

I enjoyed some vodka tonics this weekend. Then I found out that there is 113 calories in tonic water. What. The. Fuck. It's water. How does it have calories? (10 per oz) It has become my mission to buy a seltzer water bottle and learn to create my very own club soda at home. But...80 bucks? The manfriend said it takes Co2. I may or may not have said " is that the same thing as whip its?" Not that I know what a whip it is, or have ever been party to such things, and I especially wouldn't have liked it. I just don't want to have to buy them, and get the look. Like the one you get when you buy rolling papers, for their real-life intended use. Getting older and more responsible makes you have a guilty conscience. At lease, for me it does.

Speaking of guilty..I like to steal things from my Mom's ...when I want something I don't wanna pay for it? Mom had this pineapple picture, that I tried and tried to take, but turns out it was taped to the wall. Trickery. Santa got one for me too. The frame was plastic, and didn't have a hangy thing on the back. But my handy manfriend drilled it and put a thing on the back of it for me. I love it. And um, newsflash, I love him too.

This is pretty much the cutest dog ever. If I believed in angels, this would be an angel. With its pillowy soft fur. It's a shih poo. (shih tzu & toy poodle) Smaller than my abnormally big shih tzu. I've decided to make it my mission to come up with a fund raiser so I can afford one. Yes, I am that mental. I have been given the gift of compassion for animals, and if the universe wants me to have this dog, it wants me to have this dog. It's out of my hands. You shouldn't stand in my way, rather, help me. What if I am St. Francis reincarnated? Then what? If you believe in hell you could go there for not helping me. ......help? Another look? Snowy puppy? I'll let you hold him.

Monday, December 29, 2008

I Got a Dumb Coat...

Here's a preliminary picture of my dog in her new coat. It was 65 this weekend, so she didn't wear it for new pictures. She loves having her picture taken can you tell?

My cat decided instead of catching mice, she'd practice catching me wrapping gifts. I was gone most of the weekend, and came back to a pretzel stick on my counter. Uneaten. Either the mouse got scared away by my ferocious cats, or headed outside since it was 65 degrees...Or...least likely, the cats ate him. He certainly wasn't eating pretzel sticks.

I was gone most of my 4 days off, so when I was home the cats snuggled with me. That's two of em bein cute balls of fur that don't catch mice. (mother and son) And my new hello kitty pants from the manfriend.

I braved the crowds on Saturday and got some after Xmas shopping done. I scored this pre-lit 4 foot tree from target for 9.99, with $1 off because the box was smashed. (regular 19.99) It's perfectly tacky. I think I'm leaving it up for Valentines day I'll decorate it with some hearts.

I had a fabulous holiday. My entire living room is packed with boxes and wrappings and bags. I guess that means I had a good christmas. Most peculiar gift? Baby shoes. Patent leather shoes. Mom. She says its because my brother and sister had shoes as babies, and I complain that I didn't (because I didn't) so that was suppose to make up for it. I said "let's see what the manfriend thinks about this." I think wishful thinking on her part.

Biggest gifts...hmmmm I got a big tower fan (with remote!) and a lighted blender from my Momma, and tons of other stuff. The manfriend got me the Great Pumpkin DVD (he'd never seen it...cus he's deprived) and a mirrored star I wanted, and some other stuff (and a bear that sings barry white, that had me cracking up). My sister got me the Mischevious Kitten Hallmark ornament, which I hadn't gotten in the past few years. My brother got me the Lost game. The only person I can play with is Kat. Unless I want to smear the competition. But let's face it, even if you did watch the show I'd still smear you. I told the manfriend when the storm of 09 hits (and we know it will) We should break out the Lost DVD's and he'd soon be hooked.

I got $25 to Bath and Body so I got my Wexler for 27 dollars this weekend. Awesome deal! (I love this stuff!) All my other gift cards are for food places. Too bad I swore off food. Amazingly, after 4 days of no working out and eating and drinking "normal" I havn't gained weight. Plus, it's my time of the month. I am not sure I'm doing boot camp this week, because I pay weekly, and there is only 2 classes available to me, and its not worth it. Plus no weigh in for the second week. I'm still working out at work though.

Now I can say that I made the manfriend a book of pictures for our first year together. I had it done at snapfish. I was jealous of it, so the universe had one sent to me too. For free. I dunno how it happened, but I ended up getting another one, and I was never charged for it!

Unfortunately it's month end at work and I have to go and um...do something today. Hope everyone had fabulous holidays, can't wait to read about them!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Goals...I got em!

I may or may not have bought myself a semi-gawdy sapphire ring (except the diamonds on the outside of mine are pave set...with a black background) yesterday because it was only $80 my cost. My new years resolution (I don't make them) is to pay off my employee account before I buy one more thing. Period. I also got the manfriend's mom a bracelet, and his stepmom a very popular peice we sell, that is sold out of stores, and people are threatening our sales associates lives if we don't have more. I lucked out even finding one in the employee store. If she doesn't like it, tough shit.

I went shopping after work, rushed to bootcamp, changed and bootcamp nazi is like "what are you doing weren't you just in class?" I said no. She said "I hope youre not here to workout". Ok, so there wasn't a 6:3o class. I'd been going to 5:30 latley so I'm use to having one every day to choose from. So now, I have to go on my day off! (Friday) Which is total ass.

I finally got all my goals at bootcamp. My goal weight, well I'm not ready to reveal that, or how much I still weigh. But I have 52 lbs to lose to meet the goal set for me. Which isn't too bad of a goal. However, I'd be just as happy losing just 30 lbs more. 52 lbs to lose, and I lost 10 (11 but gained one back) so I have 42 lbs.

The mouse saga continues. Day three. The cats were after it in the kitchen several times last night. I heard them all making that weird meow, and running around. I thought, great if the cats do catch it, but what if they kill it and leave it somewhere then I have to find a rotting carcass? Or worse...what if it's in my bed? OMG! Euuuuw! I don't like anything to do with this whole rodent problem. I thought spiders and centipedes sucked. I'm not loving the mouse.

I got my dog a new jacket at Old Navy. It's pretty cute. It's pink, and it has a hood. I'll post a picture when I get one. My batteries died.

What's the difference between diet coke and coke zero? Aside from the fact that diet coke tastes like ass fungus, and I like coke zero? I just don't get why they have two no calorie colas. If they would make a Cherry Coke Zero....I'd marry it!

Oh, and look what's coming to Cleveland! I might take my Momma.

I'm not working at work. So, I'm doing things like....wishing I had a westie. (nothing against my shih tzu, but I have a bit of a control problem with animals)

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Ho Ho Ho...

Hi. I might have a problem. I want one of these puppies pretty bad. I mean, they look like little foxes! I am addicted to their webcam.

That mouse was out and about again yesterday. The good news is, I knew it was, because my cats were after something. My cats aren't useless after all! They had it under my couch. I chased it back and forth forever trying to help them, and they'd look excitedly under the couch waiting for it to come out but it didn't until their ADD kicked in and they left. When I moved a photo album and there it scurried. It's little, and fast. Way fast. And, teeeeeny little. Eventually the cats lost inerest. When I shoo'd it out I'd yell "sickem" but, my cats have no idea what that means. And the mouse ran back under the couch. The saga continues.

I spent the night wiping things off and sweeping behind things looking for mouse evidence. None. I dunno when he moved in but he's been pretty tidy.

Yesterday, we had a holiday party for the department. We were smart this year, and instead of putting our meager secreterial wages together, having a food day, then watch the people who drive bmw's, and lexus's and hummers eat all our food, (last food day one of the VP's took a whole can of nuts with him to eat) we sent them an invite to bring food. Guilt them into it if you will. Rich folk have no damn sense.

Except some of them do! One of the VP's got us all gift sets from Carol's Daughter! As seen on Oprah! Used by Beyonce, and Mary J. Blige. It smells devine too! I got a sugar cookie candle from anther one. My girls got me a bag full of Hello Kitty goodies. I got a Starbucks card and bad ass coffee mug from my boss, and some pretty hair doodles from another gal. I didn't get a bad clock this year from my VP, I got a gift card to Applebee's! And some evil chocolates.

This weekend the manfriend and me saw Four Christmases. The cutest part was at the beginning he told me they reminded him of us. I was seriously thinking the same thing. The way they interact with each other was so cute, and ......picked each other up at the bar even though they live together. Hollaaaa. He made me wanna cry like 10 times this weekend, with happiness of course. Like, we were at the movies and he went to get the car and pick me up cus it was 20 below windchill. Made me button my coat. Fixed my 20 times blistered foot so it didn't hurt. I gave him a small christmas tree cus he didn't have one. He really liked it. It's so weird to be treated so well. I'm so not use to it, it'll never get old!

I'm excited this year he is gonna come to my Momma's Christmas Eve! And I'll go to his families on Christmas. His Mom is sick, so we're doing her house on Sunday. I hope this doesn't mean I have to wait til Sunday for presents. I've been dying to give him his gifts for months!

Monday, December 22, 2008

A Creature Was Stirring....

Hi, you know me, I have four cats? I'd like to change that statement, to I have at least three freeloading cats, and one proven killer, who is just a total slacker.

I let my dog out about 4 am to potty, and I saw a little mouse scurry across the counter in the kitchen. My first instinct was of course, to do the girl thing and scream and try to run out of the kitchen, for the manfriend to rescue me. Only, I don't live with the manfriend. So I had to soldier up. And be my independant self. Plus, it looked just like this picture, it was a tiny little field mouse, how horrible could it be? I decided to do the animal loving, woman of the house thing. And catch the mouse.

I got out a little tupperware bowl, and chased it from one side of my counter, across the sink, to the other side of the counter, shouting "ooohh oh oh" along the way as I almost caught the damn thing. I did however, successfully catch the mouse. I don't even have claws and whiskers and night vision eyes and I managed to capture it. I got my cutting board, because obviously the best idea is to scoot it off the counter onto the cutting board, and set it loose out back into the woods to live another day, right? Well I'm not an accomplished mouse catcher, cus as I was sliding it off the counter, it got loose onto the floor, and jetted under the refrigerator. I moved it out from the wall and shoved the broom underneath. But that little bastard was gone. Where, I don't know. Eventually I went back to bed, where my three lazy cats barely opened their eyes to see me.

So now I'm faced with a dilemma. Get a mouse trap? I would sooner live with mice than have to trap them and dispose of their dead carcasses. I thought that's why I had natures mouse traps. FOUR of them. My Mom said my cats probably think I got another pet. I mean, I can hardly blame my cats for being so freaking docile, and sweet, and not even batting a whisker at my bunny, right? However, my fourth cat, the siamese, is a proven killer. She got out my bathroom window when I lived in "the city" (akron) and killed a bird, and brought it in the apartment.

So, I got my gift that I won over at Lbluca77's blog! How fun!

This is what came in the box. Peppermint bark. If I didn't know better, I'd think this was bootcamp sabotage. But lucky for me, I'm pretty good with resisting temptations latley. Unless that temptation is bread. Or cheese. Or...pizza.

I got a Christmas pen, pez dispenser, M&M's, slippers, National Lampoon's Xmas Vacation DVD, TARGET gift card (hollaaaaa!) and my very own pirate to grow. Awesome! I'm happy to have won I did a little happy dance.

You really shouldn't have included a gift for the cats, they quite enjoyed the box. I told them Santa isn't coming this year since they have been cohabitating with a mouse. So, this will be their only gift. Good thing they like it. They thank you!

Pickachu (Fizzgig in the wings waiting to jump in the box)

Stay tuned for my after xmas giveaway. Where you might get a non-mousing cat in a box as your gift.

I also got a ticket this weekend. From the lovely city of Lakewood. You know, if I parked at my house at the police station...no one would bother to check my tags. Yes, my tag is expired. Yes, I renewed it and had it in the car, but also yes....it was 1 degree this weekend and stickers don't stick in the bitter cold. I'm pretty pissed. The city sucks. Ya'll can have Cleveland. I prefer my small town living where people mind their damn bizness. And I don't have e-check.

P.S. I didn't gain or lose anything at bootcamp. Stayed the same. But when I lose 3lbs more, I move to private first class. A goal.

Friday, December 19, 2008

My body is Tired. I better have lost weight...

I'm taking a Poll. If your voice isn't heard, it could be detrimental to my body. I drew this Om symbol on my wrist, as a trial. I'm thinking of getting a tattoo there. If not, I may bet the lotus flower and Om to cover up Hello Kitty on my foot. I have Om in the car, at my desk, and on my front door. Its a reminder to me. It's small enough that my watch covers it, if I had to cover it. What's the general consencus? I did a pretty good job drawing it freehand. Thank you.

Why do my clemantines have seeds? There's not much about winter I enjoy, but one thing is clemantines. For some reason mine have random seeds in them. Biting into seeds tastes like alum. (my sister and brother fed that to me and told me it was rock candy. It pickles your tongue, and eating the seeds brings back that horrible memory) And, they were also 6.99/box. They use to be 3.99. Do I sound old? I'll shut up. Do you know why they have seeds? No? Yes?

I weigh in tonight at boot camp. I'm feeling pretty good, according to my scale I'm down 2lbs, but it's still nervewracking. We started running relays, and having partners, and doing crunches. I hate them. She said we're all going to use steps soon. If I don't lose weight I'm not using them. I took a step class for years and never lost a pound. Class is easier, but I still get pissed when we have to do 300 continuous jumping jacks. Or, 500 lunges. Or, run around carrying that stupid balance ball. I'm still doing two and three workouts a day 5 days a week. I feel good. Like, I feel good. At work, they call me an animal. I dunno, if they think I'm an animal I wanna be a cat.

Oh, go out and buy jewelry. Our company is acutally doing well according to the Christmas letter we got. But, we can always have more money. Cus I bought stock in my company this year. I want to have a profit, and not be pissed I did it. Jewelry is a fabulous investment. If the economy fails, you can melt your gold and have an actual valueable good worth trading. (since they keep printing money) Oh, and boys? Girls love diamonds.

I woke up in the middle of the night Wednesday, and the manfriend was kissing me on the forehead. He is only the cutest thing in the world. I wanna eat him up with a side of mashed potatos (cus I love potatos too). He's the sweetest boy on earth.

At work, the presents have started. The girls called me over the other day to tell me one of the VP's has a coach box in it with boxes inside with our names on them. I said no way we are getting coach. She buys a coach bag for her secretary, but the rest of us always got stuff that the stores sell to benefit our charity. It's for a good cause, right? That's being realistic. I'm hoping for a better gift from my VP this year, than the stupid clock. I gave up my good gift-giving VP's when I got promoted. *sigh* Christmas isn't about gifts. Gawd, I'm such an asshole!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Dear Mr. You Pretty Much Sucked....

I totally ripped this concept off Alanis Morissette. That song where she thanks her exes for good things she got out of relationships? I didn't have any good ones. So, I started this a long time ago (almost 2 years) as part of my letting go of the past to heal my future. I've since let these things go, for me to move on in my own self healing, but never posted it. I think its good to look back sometimes. I am so happy in my current relationship, one may think I had it easy.

To my exes:

Dear MH. I thought I loved you. I was young. We spent a lot of time together. You were the first boy to kiss me. We became too attached to each other, and my mom had to give us 'the talk'. But you taught me all about making out, and writing notes, talking on the phone for hours, being kids, and the art of liking a boy! You cheated on me with a really (so I thought) good friend. I don't really miss you or think of you fondly anymore.

Dear CF you were my first real boyfriend. You taught me what it was like to be crazy for somebody. You use to walk 10+ miles just to see me. You took me to my first dance. My first........well. We were together 3 years. You broke my heart when you left for the army. We reconnected a couple of years ago, to find you are married, with 3 children, unhappily, but still married. I was in a crappy relationship at the time too. We were pen pals. Then, I believe she made you stop. I'll always think about you. Forever.

Dear DF. My husband. I use to like boys who were destructive, posessive, and alchoholics/drug addicts. It all started with you. You cheated on me constantly, and blamed me for it, destroyed my self esteem. Made fun of me. I loved you too much, and based my own self worth on what you thought about me. I'd starve myself, because I thought if I were only thinner you'd love me. Not cheat on me. Not catch you at strip clubs (which consequently I would move his car so he would think it was stolen) I started my battle with controlling others because of you. I'll never understand why you hurt me so much, but it doesn't matter. The fact is that you did. I gave you everything and got nothing in return. And you hurt me mentally and physically. When you left me I fell apart. I couldn't "be". You didn't want to be "tied down" as if marriage ever stopped you from doing anything. You ruined me for a long, long, long time. I let you affect me in every aspect of my life for years. You taught me not to trust, love, open up, give, play, live for myself, cry, or even laugh. Because that all made me weak, and stupid. Forgiving you has been the hardest thing I ever had to do. But I finally did, and I couldn't be happier. I think about you a lot because we spent 7 years together. But now when I think about you, I don't have the gut wrenching hatred I use to. They are just memories, unassociated with any feelings. It took me 10 years to get there.

Dear DZL. You were my three year rebound from my husband. You also made me feel good at first. Desired. Giddy. But that changed into feeling like an out of control, worthless peice of crap. I didn't know how to be alone, and unobsessed with whatever someone else was doing, to distract me from myself . You were also abusive to me, only you didn't try to hide it. I wasn't worth your time, except in the sack. Your job was to keep tabs on me. You isolated me from my friends, yet, wouldn't be a friend to me yourself. You did nothing but tear down what shred of self esteem was left after my marriage. You broke me. I tried to love you. But it was not healthy. You cheated on me too. I was lucky enough to have a friend who cared about me and made me leave you. You taught me, not to be an ignorant lazy fuck, or I'd wind up like you. It was with you that I started to better myself financially. Worked two jobs, when you didn't have one. For that, I thank you. I realized I could only depend on me, and made a better life for myself. Because of you I became too independant which would be the downfall of my next relationship.

Dear MH. You were my boss. We had a little affair. It helped me to escape my life with DZL. I never felt bad about what we did at the time. You made me feel incredibly sexy. It could never have gone anywhere. I realized from our talks, that I'm worth more than a peice on the side. And, that's why it ended. I found my self respect. I felt bad about this for a long time, but I'm not the one who should feel bad. You are. And, I'm letting it go.

Dear SG. You were different. You were also my shortest ever relationship at 7 months. We sat on the porch and talked for hours. We enjoyed each others company, and you didn't hurt me mentally or physically. But, you did steal from me, and used me for a place to live when it was convenient for you. And skipped town without a second thought. When I think about you nothing positive comes to mind, except the sex. Big whoop. Now, you have a couple kids, and still no money or stability. I hope your wife is happy living like a squatter. I don't miss you.

Dear TWDSO. You were not right for me, but you treated me good. You made me realize what it is like to be in a relationship with no abuse, where someone tries to care about you. You wanted to rescue me. You couldn't make me happy because I wasn't happy. I finally tried to make myself happy, and I learned exactly what I wanted in a relationship while I was with you. And that's why in the end I had to leave. We didn't talk. We didn't share anything. We didn't have much in common. We both worked too much, and were too into our jobs. I can't blame you for much, but you pissed me off an awful lot. We didn't have the same dreams. Interests. I like to have fun, and you didn't. It was with you that I realized this, and that it was OK. We were decent friends. The sex sucked. I realized with you that I needed to be with someone who was open, and honest, silly, passionate, and makes me laugh. I couldn't cry in front of you. You never comforted me, when anything was wrong, nor did you support me, or my ideas. I always resented you for that. I was too independant for you. You wanted me to be something I wasn't. I'm a free spirit, and that never meant I wanted to be free.

Dear CP. I met you when I started to discover who I really am. I had left TWDSO because I wasn't happy. I thought you would make me happy. Old habits are easy to fall into, and I was under the impression you would take care of me. But I wanted you to be something you weren't. I got wrapped up in how much you loved me, and that you proposed to me. I never had those feelings for you, and I can be honest about it now. I was constantly disappointed in you, for not being what I wanted. That was my fault in it. Your involvement with drugs began to take over your life, and furthered my constant disappointment. Once I decided to live my life and not care about what you did, I began to see that I make me happy. I control my life. I say who hurts me and who doesn't. I'm not a victem. What a hard lesson. It was hard to make you leave, but one of the best decisions I ever made for myself.

Dear CN. You weren't an ex. I did like you, and you made me laugh. But, I wasn't ever what you wanted, until I decided what I really wanted was to be loved the way I have loved others my whole life. Unconditionally. We were what each other needed for a while, and it allowed me to have my single girl fun, and a consistent booty call. What I wanted was...(to quote sex and the city) love. Real love. Ridiculous. Inconvenient. Consuming. Can't live without each other love. And making myself available to that meant cutting you out of my life.

Dear manfriend. You really threw me for a loop. While I knew I wanted to find real love, I had no idea I would, when I began chatting with you thru email. I met you at a great time in my life when I was happy being alone. I wasn't looking for happiness, I was creating it for myself. Being me. Becoming my true self, that had always been locked away. I am who I always wanted to be, and I can see that even more thru your eyes. You like the things in me that I like in myself. We are in love, and I know in my heart you are the yin to my yang. That is the only reason I can have patience with the progression of our relationship. I hope for you that you find the same peace I've found, that comes with letting go. I'm waiting. And when you are at the same point on your path, I will hold your hand until we reach the end. You have an incredibly kind heart, and my connection to you is undeniable. I thank the universe every night that it brought you to me. And having gone through all the aforementioned relationships, was entirely worth the reward at the end. And the work I had to do on myself. The work I still do. Finding inner peace is something you and I share, that I've never had with anyone else.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Just Call me Weezie, Cuz I'm movin up!...

So, I'm minding my biz at work yesterday, a.k.a working, I actually DO have a job people, and my boss comes up and says, come see me. And leaves. Say huh?

So I see her. She fills me in that another department (not the one that I had previously thought) was going to merge with our department. What this means to me is that I am getting two new people to boss around, I mean, supervise, and ummm...lead in a direction which will benefit the department and the company. I'm excited, because I get to figure out how to merge our two areas, and come up with ways to streamline their processes, like I've done with ours. Project!

What I'm not excited about is that they aren't new, and they have jobs here, and I have to also learn how to do theirs. And it kiiiiiiiinda intimidates me. Supervising someone on a job I know nothing about. And that one girl is a control freak, and my boss told me "on paper" she is "over" the other girl. I can see us butting heads. I get the impression, that I might get one of the girls and the other one will work in my bosses area. Confused? Me too. They tend to like to keep us guessing at work.

When I met with my manager, and my director, and the two new girls....they had no idea that they were going to be under me. When the director told them I'm the administrative supervisor, they were all like....ohhhhhhh....and gave me the once over. Whatev'es peeps. Eat it. Your new boss says whatev'es, and peeps, and I'm totally awesome.

Today I meet with them, and my boss. Then starting tomorrow I sit with the one girl for an hour and increase by an hour each day. I have a little over 10 days to learn her job.

Funny how things happen isnt it?

You know I have been listening to the power of intention. (by Wayne Dyer whom I love) There is a part about how you can't go around chasing things and expect them to happen. (basically the law of attraction) You have to be. Learning to be is the hard part. Instead of looking for love. Be love, and it will find you. Instead of looking for success, be successful, and success will find you. Things always seem to come so easily to some people. And this is why.

My favorite..instead of looking for happiness.....be happy. My favorite fortune cookie on my computer monitor at work is "Don't pursue happiness - create it".

How true.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Being Merry...

Well Actually I came into this at work on Monday. Too little too late if you ask me.

I have like 15 drink carriers at my desk which every morning I curse myself for forgetting to bring with me when I get my coffee and water. So they hung them from the ceiling.

    This was the jist of my weekend.

  • They forgot my birthday at work and then tried to make up for it.

  • Gained a pound at bootcamp. Then drank an entire bottle of captain morgans coconut rum Friday night to drown my sorrows.

  • At Friday's party, Stephanie confronting the "hamburgler". Some guy that brought McDonald's to an all you can eat mexican party.

  • Hamburgler apologizing for bringing McDonalds to said party

  • This one guy that had on a tshirt with the ninetendo controller on it, circa the 80's, and everyone 'fingering' the Mortal Kombat kill moves on his chest. P.S. he was buddhist=awesome drunken conversation.

  • My cheap VP that got me that clock (that I'm for sure giving away in my pay it forward prize giveaway. Details to follow after xmas in case i get anything else sucky) totally gave me 20 bucks for my bday in a card. It made me feel 15 again, and that's awesome!

  • Playing beer pong with alchohol again and getting pretty tipsy, I mean drunk, I mean almost shitfaced.

  • Kat refusing to do a birthday shot with me, and the manfriend getting her a shot of "water" so she could join in.

  • The bartender actually shook it in the shot thing and everything with ice.

  • Remembering how awesome my manfriend is for doin that.

  • Waking up on Sunday with a burning back.

  • Seeing the manfriend had burned knees

  • Putting two and two together and remembering we had a pretty hot night on the floor. Bow chica wow wow.

  • Tara holding her nose to do shots of alchohol. At least she did them, right?

  • Going with the manfriend to feed his moms cats and noticing she had 3 gifts with my name on them in the spare room, and my birthday marked on her calender. How cute?

  • Presents rock.

  • Being drooled on by his moms cat while the manfriend tried to pill the cat. Pilling cats = worst thing ever.

  • Thought about an invention to make pilling cats easier. Decided this is my new million dollar idea.

  • Ate mexican food.

  • loved it.

  • Driving in a blizzard to Cleveland. Wait, what else is new?

  • Stephanie taking 20 minutes at the Circle K to pick out her pop. Literally.

  • Staying up til 5 am 2 nights in a row. How old am I?

  • One of my friends hooking up with one of the manfriend's friends. I said hey if this works out we can carpool.

  • Making the best hashbrowns drunk. With seasoned salt and a turkey burger and cheese. I might patent it.

  • Not burning down the house while cooking.

  • Asking Stephanie to ask this girl's name, cus I asked her twice, and still think her name is Jill. It's not.

  • My friends hearing the manfriends real name for the first time.

  • Not believing him, (neither did I when I first heard it...it's a family name)

  • My abs still hurt from my Friday workout, where bootcamp nazi decided to instill team building, which just means we help each other hurt more.

  • Ruby slippers and vodka might not mix too well.

  • Went 10mph on the expressway, and a half hour drive took an hour and a half. Because for some reason the dumb state I live in is operating on a salt shortage. Like, we don't expect it to snow or something.

  • The mexican hat dance. Minus the song.

  • Wanting to hear "back to da hotel" and the manfriend putting it on in like 3.0 seconds. Holla!

  • Getting a bday suprise on my washing machine

  • No, not that you pervs.

  • The manfriend requesting "don't stop believin'" by Journey for me

  • Bethie and Kat having a threeway with me

  • On the dance floor, not like THAT

  • Two words. Kenny. G.
  • Laughing at the elf yourself video my Mom made of us three until we cried.

  • Telling a bunch of the boy's friends that he once almost bit my nipple off.

  • Realizing I'm freaking Classy

  • Tara and Todd getting all settled in on the air mattress and realizing it has a hole in it, on the manfriend's hardwood floor.
  • Eating TWO bagels at work on Monday. Still feeling the carb overload today. Dread all the working out I have to do this week. Twice a day. Every day.

  • Having a fellow female partygoer, ask me where my stash of cottonelle is at the manfriends, and noticing, someone used it all.

  • Think the manfriend has a secret affection for cottonelle and won't admit it.
  • Keeping up with Stephanie on drinks. Then, the next day she has way more alchohol left than me. Cheater.

  • Bethie calling out the DJ for not wishing me a happy birthday=awesome

  • Realizing at the bar, that people on their 21st birthday's are kinda annoying
  • The manfriend's Dad's salsa. Yum.

  • Kat and the manfriend stealing a cornhole bag, so the stupid kids wouldn't be all up in our bizness with their dumb cornhole game.
  • Who plays cornhole indoors. At a bar?

  • Remembering our 21'st bdays were 12 years ago. What?
  • Stating that we didn't take our parents with us to celebrate 21 like those dillweeds.

  • Being pissed off that on 80's night, the DJ strayed from the format far too much, because, if you're 21 you weren't even in the 80's for long.

  • Stealing the rubiks cube from 80s night contest. Hearing someone mention that it's been stolen, and saying "damn, that's really fucked up".

  • Realizing we're way more cooler than those dicks. (I said way more cooler)

  • Being outside smoking so long the owner/bartender came to check on us
  • Trying to make New Years Plans. Plans never work.

  • The manfriend taking a picture of my cats snuggling. And then seeing that he had quite a few pics of my pets in his phone, and having my heart melt.
  • Not having to leave the house on my actual b-day. The manfriend got gas for me. Cus he's a cute boy!

  • Getting an email from Tara Monday that said "what did (insert manfriends real name here) get you for your bday?" and laughing out loud.

  • Showing everyone my new ID. And realizing the back of mine is different than everyone elses.
  • Hoping my new ID is legal
  • Maybe getting sick on Saturday cus I drank too much.

  • Showing everyone my gas receipt for .01
  • Listening to the Power of Intention (by Wayne Dyer) which is awesome as all of his books are. I love the positive thinking concept, and how much it's changed my life!
  • Kat getting me a Hello Kitty Bento from Japan!

  • Having a moment of sheer terror, and then turning it over to my gut. Learning to trust that vs. your head is so not easy to do. Having the knowledge to do this on your 33rd bday=priceless.
  • Amazon telling me that Dean Koontz's new Frankenstein book is finally available!!!!

  • Running at a 5.0mph for 4 miles Monday with no breaks. Older? Psh. Better!

My precious under the tree.

Monday, December 15, 2008


So there is a girl in our dept who's job it is to manage the birthdays of 126 district managers, and 19 Vice Presidents, and then the measley 6 girls in our department. Friday would have been when we celebrated anyone else's bday had it fallen on the weekend. Friday, was not when we celebrated my birthday. They didn't forget. They just didn't do anything. I'm pretty offended. I stay up late weeknights cooking food for their stupid birthday's. What. Ev. Er. The universe is testing me to remember the importance of birthdays and Christmas. It's Ok, they didn't do anything. Or even use the recycled decorations for my desk. Whatever. It's important that....oh wait, they didn't even wish me a happy birthday.

Fucking bitches.

I got my liscense renewed. That was a treat. I actually found a really good liscense bureau where everyone is friendly. (if you're local email me!) I had my new photo taken. The lady says "you've lost weight" I said, yea I know and laughed. (my picture was horrid. I wasnt even smiling back then) Then she pulled up the old picture with my new one and said "I had to compare this because you don't look like the same person" then she turned the screen around to show me. Oh. Mah. Gawd. That was 52 lbs ago. Seeing myself along the way, and today it's not that noticeable. I have only a handful of pictures from before, because, well. I wore a size 18 and I was embaressed of myself. Yea. 18.

Last Friday, I got gas at GetGo. I dunno bout non-Ohio folk, but we have a store where you earn 10 cents off a gallon of gass per $50 you spend. (I think like, Sam's club and BJ's wholesale do this also)

Normally, I cash these in at 20-60 cents a gallon cus I can't wait, and they do expire. I don't know how that works, I just know they expire. Since my recent health food kick, I've spent a truck-ton of money on food, and this was my gas receipt.

Yea, at first I was like "woooo-hooo-hoo, I get gas for 0.001 a gallon!" But really, I got 11.769 gallons for 0.01. I saved $19.28. Pretty much I got free gas.

Top that.

Oh yea, I gained a pound at Friday's weigh in. Then, Friday I drank a bottle of captain morgans. Saturday I had whiskey and vodka. Alchohol is evil. I'll have a better recap tomorrow. Today I'm still half asleep.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Digging Out..

I've been digging out this week. And I don't mean the snow. Trying to avoid weight gain from drinking and eating crap. I think it's cus I ate carbs and while they are my favorit thing in the universe, they are also my worst enemy. They make me feel crappy, and bloated, and lazy. And for me, make it nearly impossible to drop pounds, despite my maniacal workouts. Wanna know what I've done this week?

- nothing silly, I was in southern Ohio with the manfriend being in love. Unless you count....oh, nevermind.

Tuesday 2 hours
- 3 miles/45 minutes treadmill lunch workout
- 45 minutes bootcamp (a.k.a torture)
-30 minutes at home abs/weights

Wednesday 2.75 hours
- 25 minutes eliptical lunch workout
- 30 minutes treadmill lunch workout
- 45 minutes before bootcamp
- 45 minutes bootcamp (a.k.a this was hell being my third workout)
- 20 minute walk at home
- Laundry and steam cleaning carpets which counts cus they hurt after all that working out.

Thursday 1hr 55min
- 30 minutes eliptical lunch workout
- 25 minutes treadmill lunch workout
- 60 minutes treadmill after work
-Tired as a motherfucker

Friday (today I will do)
- 30 min eliptical lunch workout
- 25 min treadmill lunch workout
-45 min bootcamp

Tonight? I'm weighing in even though, I am going to a Feliz Navidad...or, Mexican Christmas party at the manfriends. I wasn't going to, but that was before I chickened out of the weigh in on Thursday. Your third bootcamp day is always weigh in. I didn't want to not lose weight. I'd be mad at myself and eat something horrible. I know me. So, I will see tonight what my results are.

This is where you may expect me to say all this work to ward off weight gain wasn't worth having things like, tater tot casserole, velveeta dip, ranch dip, cinnamon bread, rum, vodka, punch, orange pop, hashbrowns, and beer nuts. You're right. Never thought I'd say that either. I'm tired of working out so much. I'm at that 2 month mark. I think it happens to me all the time, and you just push thru and it goes away. But I don't wanna.

Speaking of working out. I saw a girl Wednesday at the gym at work, cover herself in trash bags, and then put on sweats. Trash bags. She was really loud and plastic-y. Then she decided to get on the treadmill next to me. Then she got on her cell phone and fought with her boyfriend, and kept hanging up on him. Getting on and off the treadmill every two minutes to argue. I wanted to say to her the trash bags wouldn't help without sustaining an elevated heartbeat, but what do I know. She interrupted my Dr. Phil, and pissed me off. Saw a guy I use to see every night in the gym, and he said "she's back". I said "I never went anywhere, I've been doing lunch workouts". Turns out he is the one who fell off the wagon.

Saturday I have the company suite for a hockey game. Lake Erie Monsters. I'm gonna go with the manfriend. (new girl at work is also going) I'm excited, it's fun to hang in style and be treated like you are important. And, have drinks brought to you. Saturday night I am heading back to the Fulton to hang with some friends for my pre-birthday-birthday drinkfest.

Most importantly, Sunday is my birthday. It's the big "33". Happy happy to me!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

World Domination.....

Today is my two year anniversary at my job. I proudly display my anniversary card on my cube wall. Two years, I felt way over qualified for my hired position "secretary" and far underpaid, but while working two jobs, and looking for a new one, I still worked hard to excel and now I'm the boss. I'm also lucky that my company has an entire department dedicated to training just the home office. (and another for the field) I have had the opportunity to take tons of classes, and gain valuable management skills that look fantastic on a resume. Yesterday I learned coaching, counseling, and termination.

Back to my anniversary. Our senior VP always sings us the "happy anniversary" song, and I get sooo excited when she says "I have an announcement everyone gather 'round". I get excited for everyone. It happens to also be contagious. People like that about me, even if they joke with me that I am easily exciteable. I put a smile on their faces with my child-like antics. And my stupid dance I do. It's my trademark.

I think of it as I find the joy in the little things. Life is way happier when you live for the small moments, vs. waiting for the big ones. The big ones are few and far between and then you spend too much time being disappointed. That's my optimism class for today, grasshoppas.

At work we have a cafeteria. It's like a big restaurant and deli and grill with a salad bar, and lots of drinks, and coffee, and pop. I always get a breakfast for 95 cents you get an egg, turkey sausage, and toast. Well with the economy, they decided to outsource it. A company called Parkhurst is coming in to take over. All our employees are staying, but we get a makeover.

In said makeover, comes a bakery (carbs), pizza bar (carbs), Stir fry station (carbs), and a STARBUCKS! *screeeeech* Did I say Starbucks? Downstairs? Um, yea I am going to be in some serious trouble with that. Calories. Whenever I want a carmel frapuccino light (but still a billion calories) I just have to get up and walk downstairs. No getting in the car. No scraping the car.

This is all almost as bad as having a jewelry store at work. That you use to improve bad days by buying diamonds. Oh wait, we do. (I happen to have just bought myself these earrings. I traded up my 1/10th ct round solitaires, to 1/4ct princess. What an improvement! I'm trading up once more next year)

So, whenever this biological war strikes that has been in the news. You know where I'll be? At work. We have the second only to fort knox vault here, which is sure to withstand any germies spread out into the air. We have plenty of food, starbucks, TV, showers, and a gym. I dunno bout the rest of you, but I'll be here to press on in the future. Too bad I'm not going to help repopulate. But, I will help with the animal kingdom. Sign me up for that. If you want, I can start a contest like Paris Hilton, to see who wants to be my new BFF, and your prize (besides hanging with me of course) can be to come with, and live through the devestation. I think second place, can have all my jewelry, but you don't get to hunker down, so it won't do you much good. How's that for optimistic?

But, if that happens I might stop working out and be fat and lazy. Yesterday? I worked out three times. 45 min at lunch, 45 min after work, and 45 min bootcamp. I'm trying to still lose weight after eating crap and drinking a boatload. Wish me luck.

P.S. I won a freaking contest over at Lbluca's blog! Me! A winner! How freaking cool is that? Now, I get to have my own contest. Stay tuned, because I will do one. I can promise one thing, my package will come with cat hair. That's an added bonus, and you don't have to thank me for it.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The Getaway...

Happy Birthday to my Momma today!

We were going to go to a cabin like we did last year, (pics included in this link) for my birthday. Remember, we had to change it to the weekend before, because my manfriend has to catsit this week for his mom. (cute, or what? cute!) It was a different place, last year was in amish country, and 3o min from my place. This was in Southern Ohio, and about an hour and a half drive. But, owned by a former coworker/friend so we decided to go here. Plus, it is bigger, and the plan was to get a bunch of people to go, but my friends kinda all missed the bus on this one, except for my neighbors (friends first, convienently neighbors) that went with.

My weekend started on Thursday, when my manfriend came to spend the night with me. Love that! We got up on Friday, and I had to go to Planned Parenthood and pick up my birth control. (this year, I'll have insurance and go to a real live Dr. and have a real live prescription that I can get filled at a near-by real live pharmacy!!!!!!!) And took my dog to the vet. $115 later, I got a different type of ear medication, and more antibiotics. They said she probably doesn't have lymphoma since she's lived a year since they said that, and it's probably some metobolic problem did I wanna test her? I said she's 13. I want her to be comfortable. I swear they try to guilt you into stuff. Then we went shopping for our food and alchohol. After which the cutest thing occurred.

We had the dog with us, and when we got back in the car we smoked, and rolled the windows down, it's winter. In Ohio. =BRRRRRRR.... The manfriend was adjusting and feeling the vents for a while and I asked what he was doing and he said my dog was shivering. He was aiming the warm air vents at her in the back. Seriously? I teared up. We know that my pets are like my kids. And even though she stank up the whole car with her bacteria ears, he still cared enough to warm up her little butt.

After a while at home, the manfriend decided he wanted some champagne. Which did sound good. So he went and got us a couple bottles and we had some bubbly and watched a movie.

As I mentioned yesterday, when we went to the cabin we forgot our alchohol. We, meaning, the manfriend and myself. The neighbors and had their alchohol. (beer) Which I am quite proud that I didn't succomb to it's temptaions. *pats self on back* The menfolk took off directly to get alchohol, leaving me and Tayray behind. In pretty much the middle of nowhere. Alone. With no TV (and couldn't get a radio station) so we put in a DVD. I put in cursed. You know, that movie about werewolves? Then I put in Scream. That's when it started to get dark, and we hoped the men came back soon, so we didn't get scared.

Note the lack of civilization around. Luckily they came right as it got dark

The menfolk came back and we commenced drinking. I hadn't ate yet, so it sure didn't take long to get the buzz on. Tara made delicious tater tot casserole. I caught her and her guy talking about using deer meat in it when I went outside once. Then they swore to me they didn't. To each his own but I don't have the desire or need to ever eat bambi. It's bad enough to eat cows for me.

This is going up to the third floor

I love to play uchre. (sp?) The manfriend doesn't know how to play. He can fix my christmas tree with a skewer, and a nail file (he totally did! No more lean!) but doesn't know how to play cards. So I haven't played in over a year. Poor me, right? Cus, I kinda excel at this game, and I'm an awesome partner. We tried to school him Saturday night, but I was trying to teach him with all our hands up, which to me is the easiest way to learn, and Tara's man wouldn't cooperate. He wanted to just play it out. So we had to forgoe the game altogether.

The living room from the kitchen.

So obviously we just drank more! And, played beer pong. Which, I substituted with a concoction of vodka, rum, sprite and fruit punch. More enjoyable than vodka on the rocks. But also, way more calories. And, you also get tipsy a lot faster than with beer. I think at 7:00 we were all like "it's only 7:00???????" Felt like at least midnight! Damn!

The upstairs living room

Where we watched movies

We woke up on Sunday and made a big breakfast for all of us. We had turkey bacon, hash browns, toast, and eggs. All with cheese of course. Then Tara and Todd packed it up and went back home. They were having Thanksgiving or something. For real. Me and the manfriend, stayed in our PJ's, and watched a billion movies all day! I didn't have service except at the front door on my celly. So Sunday my phone died from searching for service. I was cut off from the world. I didn't even mind. We only left (in our Pj's) to get milk so the manfriend could enjoy a mondo bowl of fruity pebbles. (I had a sugar free jello....sigh..)

Todd and the manfriend

The place we stopped to get milk, (and beer) had a vending machine of bait outside. (see picture below) Also in said vending machine, next to the worms, and maggots, and grubs, were Grandma's Peanut butter cookies, and Combos. That sure got the appetite going. The place was also a turkey and deer place where they tag and weigh your kill. So, when you walked into this "market" you are inundated with boards of pictures of murdered deer and turkeys. So, if the bait machine didn't totally gross you out, the carcass pictures surely will. Yea, I eat turkey every day but I don't take pictures of them first. GROSS.

Todd, Me, and the manfriend. He didn't really touch the ladies.

On the way back from the store is when we saw the horsie. It ran after us as we drove by. So the manfriend backed up for me to go pet it. Having a manfriend who doesn't stifel your love for living things? Priceless!!!

We watched Storm of the Century which is aStephen King movie I watch in the winter when I'm snowed in usually. Cus, its like 4 hours long. We also watched Cold Mountain, which the manfriend hadn't seen. And if you have, you know, the ending blows. So he told me that about 10 times. I am pretty sure I told him it was a tragic love story! We watched more movies but I don't remember them. I remember snuggling with my guy. He made us a yummy dinner, chicken breast and brown rice. I even had seconds! We also looked at the stars, and how they are even brighter than at my house. Where the manfriend lives (Cleveland) you can't see stars. You see a nasty yellow haze in the sky.

Me and Tayray

I also ran the manfriend a bath because he has recently discovered their greatness at easing muscle and mind tension! He had been using epsom salts, and I told him the best is epsom, sea salts and baking soda. So I made him a mix. And I put essential oils in it so it smelled purdy. I mean, purdy but manly.

Makeshift Beerpong


The only complaint about the weekend was that we didn't sleep well. We both like a hard bed, and the bed was bouncy. There are much worse things that could've happened you know. And the person who owns it, is a friend from my old job. Oh yea, she left us this cinnamon bread. I ate way more of that than I should have. We stood outside and watched the billions of birds out back in the woods. We heard owls at night, but didn't see them. On Monday we saw two types of woodpeckers, and little blue birds, and blue jays. It was a lot of fun to watch them fly around from tree to tree.

The mini horse in its natural habitat. It wasnt runnin all willy nilly.

We got up on Monday and made breakfast, and started to pack it up, as it to sleet and we were in BFE. We ended up having a really good talk on the way home about us. Like how the manfriend tried to blame distance as the reason we havn't moved forward. (our geographical distance) He use to say we couldn't move forward because we didn't see each other enough. He finally sees that was an excuse for more going on in his own head. I can appreciate that he wants to work out his own issues before starting a life with "someone" as we called it, "or you". I think even saying that flat out he wants to be with me scares him. I've been there, so I can't fault him for it. I'm glad that he realizes he has things to work on within himself. It's easier to blame everyone else for why things don't work out. This went on deeper, but that's his business.

Yummee Nightcrawlers for 4 bucks!

The bait vending machine.

In the end, I felt really good about our talk. I think it worries other people more than it worries me, as to why we havn't moved in together. At least, that's what I hear from others. I know it will happen when the time is right. And that's what I say. People love to think they know your business. I'm not trying to rush anything, because I've been on that side of things too. Making things happen before they are meant to, never works.

Now, I'm off to do some work because I have a class today on "performance management". Im gonna be a gooder boss and learn me how to manage thems girls performances n stuff.

*Editor's Note. Blogger is a clusterfuck of assenine errors when I load pictures, and I spent 40 minutes when I should've been working fixing the font and pictures. So, I did try. It's just fucked.

Reason 567,894,569 not to have kids. Weekend getaways!

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow...

I'll have a proper update tomorrow. Today I'm gonna post pretty country snow pictures. I know someone who will enjoy that. It is beautiful, as long as you don't have to drive in it. It started snowing on the way to the cabin, and the roads were a sheet of ice. I hate ice. About half hour from arrival, I said "I'm gonna need a drink". Whatcha think we forgot at home? The alchohol. Of all the things to forget in the middle of nowhere (hour and a half from home) But since I have the best manfriend, he and Tayray's boyfriend left to go home and get it. Only, they stopped at the next big town, and saved about an hour's time. We didn't do too bad in the end. "The neighbors" also had beer. Have I told you how I miss beer? Just checking. I even had to play beer pong with alchohol. We also drank this all Saturday night.

On to some pretty photos. I'll have an official update with more photos tomorrow. "The cat's" (me, silly) been away two days, and I have to figure out what "the mice" (girls at work) did/didn't do.

Even though it snowed, it was sunny and beautiful on Sunday

Would it be a trip with me if I didn't find some animal to wish I had? This was a mini horse who came to the fence as we drove by and stole my heart. I wanted it. Look at that mug!

I liked this house. But you can barely see it. It was on the way to the cabin. It's back there if you look.

Cows happen to be one of the prettiest animals. They have the most innocent eyes. This was on the road back to the cabin as well.

More moo-moo's. The sky was pretty!

I took this out the window, a-la Rainman style, but I loved the clouds.

Oh, there's that mini horse, comin to see me. My cute manfriend stopped for me to pet him.

This was off the cabin deck

More Rainman shots.

Monday, December 08, 2008


I'm writing this from last week. Doesn't the future freak your freak? Here's my prediction for the weekend.

I'm probably still sleeping. And you aren't.
I'm probably snuggled up with my cute manfriend, enjoying my 5th day with him
He probably cooked me breakfast, because he is my sweetie pie
I'm probably worried that the alchohol I drank is going to cause me to gain weight.
I'm probably thinking about how hard I have to work this week to avoid that.
I'm probably thinking the same thing about the food I probably ate.
I'm probably going to cry when the manfriend leaves
I probably had lots of um....quality time *ahem*
I'm probably going to have a lot of catching up to do in the blogosphere.
I'm probably worried that the girls at work aren't doing their work.
I probably shouldn't care about that last one.
I probably got drunk off vodka, and laughed until I peed
I probably miss my pets.
I probably have a ton of kitty litter to clean up
I probably have at least two furballs to steam clean.
I probably had a hell of a weekend with my friends and manfriend.
I probably stole my guy, and have him locked in my closet.
I probably shouldn't have admitted to that on my blog.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Enough about Cats, Here's my doggie...

I'm not at work. Which means I wrote this post yesterday, and I'm trying to fool you into thinking I wrote it today. Don't be too jealous. While I will be with my manfriend, I have lots to do. I have to take my stinky yeast-eared dog to the vet for her bi-monthly ear infection. I swear I never knew anything could produce so much yeast. My dog has suffered from these her whole life. I've said it before, but I'm convinced she's a puppy mill dog. I got her from a pet store almost 13 years ago. She's had health trouble from her first year. Skin, ears, eyes, you name it. Since I mentioned her, I know you want to see the billionth picture of her. So here she is.

This is Miss Little Hill sporting her Old Navy jacket. She hates having her photo taken.

One of my fave pics of my doggie, loving life.

This is pretty much what she does all day. Yes, it's a candy corn collar.

This is us kissin after vacation. Like you don't kiss your dog. Shut up.

I'll also be going to Planned Parenthood on my day off. And..I know that makes you jealous. It's such a classy joint. I'm a moron and waited til my last week of pills to send in my re-order. And since it's now Thursday (Friday for you) and I don't have my mail order pills...I'm not chancing it. I plan to enjoy my weekend if youknowhatImean. And enjoying it doesn't include procreation. Just the practice. Wink.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

O' Christmas Tree..

I lost two pounds for this week. I had to weigh in early due to the fact that I'm going out of town. This brings my total to 11. In the double digits now! Yesssss...
I put up my tree on Tuesday. I think that I might have mentioned in years past, how I have my fake tree in a real live tree stand because I have no idea what happened to the tree's stand. My cat's are 9, 10 and 11. They never messed with the trees other than to sleep under them, or root around in the presents. But last year, for some reason, the cat's had a field day knocking it down. Then the tree had its own field day falling over out of the blue while I was parked on my ass watching some TV. I finally wired that SOB to the wall. Then the screw pulled out of the wall and it fell again. The manfriend manly screwed it to the wall and it stayed. Gotta love that.
This year, I constructed a cardboard and packing tape cozee around the tree pole to give it some "substance" and something for the pokers to hold into on the stand. I get the thing up, fluffed, and lit, and can you see a gangsta lean?

No? That's right, because I have it pretty stable here. I even put weights on the base to keep it from tipping again. But, then when I decorated it, it seemed to go downhill.

It's starting to lean to the right at the top. Freaking tree. It photographs well. It is much worse than it looks. I decided since this one caused me so much stress, I'm not putting my second tree up. Bah Humbug! It's my fancy matching tree but it's too much work. I had left it together in past years, but Mom took it apart when she was staying with me. Much appreciated, but the thought of assembling, lighting and decorating an entire second tree makes me cringe. I also didn't get out any decorations. It's so much work, and I have so much crap in boxes in preparations to move one day, that it doesn't appeal to me.

This is my mischevious kitties hallmark collection. I only have three. Hint hint.

My Hello Kitty collection. One can never have enough of these either. Hint hint.

In completely unrelated photographic news, this is from my walk last Saturday on the towpath. In the snow. I got really muddy, but I got an extra workout in.

Also from my walk. That's the canal in the fulton in which I reside.

And last but not least, this is my Mom's mean bird. It bites me. She thinks I'm going to adopt it some day when her time is up. This bird will live 50 years. I'm soon to be 33. You do the math. But she loves this dang thing. She hates my cute (yet stinky) little shih tzu ball of fur, but loves this bird. You try to give a woman grandcats and dogs, and she wants a bird instead.