"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Monday, December 26, 2011


This is how I felt the day after Christmas. Lazy.

Magoo was tired from all the Christmas excitement.

All I wanted was for someone to run with me because I needed motivation. No one wanted to go. And for myself, ater a day off working out, and eating a bunch of crap, I just didn't wanna. And lets not mention all the boxed wine I had partaken in.

Then I remembered, motivation is from within, and I didn't lose 65 lbs by someone making me do it, and so I got my lazy ass out and ran 6 miles, it was a beautiful day.

I couldn't believe the ice skating pond is still inhabited by ducks. It's been unseasonably warm in Ohio.

And the waterways are still flowing freely.

I felt amazing afterwards. So then I took Magoo on a two mile walk to tucker him out again so he was peaceful. (you'd never know he was 5 or 6)I rented Winnie the Pooh, and Judy Moody and the not bummer summer. I donned my Hello Kitty pajamas, and drank chardonnay out of my new wine glasses, and pretended I was 10 again.

Not that I was drinking wine at 10. I'm making up for lost time now.

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 23, 2011

Christmas Wishes...

I still believe in Santa. To me it is just in the form of the great and powerful universe. (or God, if that's your thing) And it is with us year round.

So, no matter your age, still make your wishes, believe your dreams, and don't settle for anything less than what your true heart desires.

I remember a time like that. When I was a kid. I think most of us can remember being footloose and fancyfree, as children. Before we knew any different than to care what people thought. When your favorite popsicle flavor made your week, not because it was a popular choice, right, or wrong, or because your friends chose it, but because it was what you really wanted.

Time sometimes makes us lose sight of these things.

My goal this year is to be more in tune with my inner self.

I want to appreciate all that I have brought into my life, intentional, or not, because I have learned from each and every choice I have made.

I want my heart to smile, so the rest of me can follow suit. I want my choices to be mine.

Whether this is a ridiculously expensive coffee maker, new shoes...a cell phone you don't think you can afford, a new puppy, or love....I hope everyone gets what they most desire this this year, not because it is right or wrong, because you want it.

"So in your Christmas prayers this year Alfie asked me to ask you to say a prayer for the wind, and the water, and the wood, and those that live there too..."

This video from the Muppets Christmas (John Denver) is by far my favorite childhood Christmas story and sums up my post perfectly.

..Alfie the Christmas tree...

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Getting older is better with friends...

There's me, in the plain black top, you know, the one with the drunk eyes.

These are the girls that rung in the big 36 with me, dancing the night away until my hair was completely soaked in sweat, and dripping at the ends. I couldn't have asked for a better night. My drinks were bought for me, (a gay bar is the best ego boost, the men and women both aim to please, and don't care who the hell you dance with!) and we heard "in da club" by fiddy cent...really, it doesn't take much to make my dreams come true!

Our DD got shitfaced, and when we went to eat next door, and she "had to pee" we found her at the bar attached to the deli, dancing with a random stranger. I love my friends. And, the fact that a cab ride home is only 5 bucks from my favorite dancing bar!

When I finally got home at 4am and let my dog out, I fell down my back three steps, and bruised my ass cheek. The only thing I can say is at least it wasn't my tail bone, so I can still sit, and sleep on my left cheek. Running... has been especially painful! I then tucked said DD in safely on my couch after a heartfelt talk that lasted until the wee hours!

What a bitch, all night I danced my ass off in my new high heeled knee high boots, (high heels and boots are new to me) and didn't fall. And I fell barefoot on my back steps.

And since I like to look at the bright side...at least I didn't fall in public, right?

I went back to work today to a desk covered in presents. I love working for VP's, they are so kind! I made out like a bandit, and I can't wait to spend all my gift cards!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Time Marches on...

So, one of the things I had planned to do on my time off was to get my nails done and lunch with friends. Awesome, it feels great to have nails again!

What I didn't plan on doing, was getting a new phone.

I've been quite attached to the blackberry for some time. But, yesterday, against my better judgement, I still ran 4 miles outside, alone, in the cold, after a day of watching red box flix. And as usual I had the blackberry stashed in my sports bra, one, in case I'm injured or abducted, two, until my new mp3 player comes in the mail for my service on the job (heck, yea!!) its my source of music while on said runs.

My blackberry has now died. I sweated one too many times into its delicate parts.

The best part about this is I ordered a new phone online and had it delivered to a store, where my ex bf of over 6 years is still the manager. Enter me, half the size I use to be, partnered with the cutest phone sales man you would ever see, and her best friend. Who, kept laughing at ex bf and telling me he was looking at us. (because you are staring and laughing, I say!)

Said best friend told me to take off my "puffy coat" so he could see what he's missing, and I did, because, lets be honest, every girl wants the ex to see how awesome they are after they break up, right? Even if there isn't a prayer in the world that would make me go back to him. (he was a super nice guy, we just fell out of love)

I had gotten up early, did my make up, and put on a cute outfit with some cute shoes, and I felt like a million bucks.

I spent my hour laughing and flirting with the sales guy (which is a new thing I am trying out) and I had fun! Sales guy asked what we were laughing about, i said "I use to date those we dont speak of yearrrrs ago" and he asked if i wanted him to bring him over to ask a question. Best friend was fighting me on this decision but I said NO!

The best part of this hour, was when he took the blackberry to transfer my contacts...."has this gotten wet recently?" he asked.....I replied "yes, i stick it in my sports bra when i run" and he laughed, shook his head, and took it in the back. Now, that's a good salesman! He didn't drop it in disgust!

Cute sales guy closed our hour long meeting with telling me to come back anytime with questions, and to call first to see if those we dont speak of is working.

The downside of this whole ordeal, is...I now have a droid phone. And a touch screen. And long fingernails. I feel somewhat retarded trying to master texting. And that makes me sad

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Another Year Older...

It's my birthday. I'm 35 again. I think from now on, I'm sticking with 35. And I am taking time off of work the next 5 days.

I came into work, to a cubicle festively Birthday decorated in American Horror Story...I might have a slight obsession problem? And...the best employees!

I'm spending my time off Christmas shopping, getting some outdoor miles in, indulging in Chipotle (with guacamole!!!), drinking wine, taking Mr. Magoo to the dog park, cleaning for my birthday weekend, pampering myself by getting my nails done, drinking wine, lunching with my best friends, having a massage (my first EVER) drinking more wine, checking my work email, and dancing the night away with my girlfriends!

All things to remind me that being single is pretty damned awesome when you have a great group of people to help you through the tough times! And my ladies have had a long road with this girl!

I'll round the weekend out by spending my Monday entirely in my pajamas watching old American Horror Story episodes (in preparation for the FINALE!!!).

And... considering where I spent my last winter vacation (jail) these plans may as well be a trip to the Carribbean! (maybe if I had a sunlamp, that would help the facade...)

The universe even gave me a birthday smile was when I was carded for smokes (this never gets old) and the cashier gave me a weird look I said "it's not Lewinski, if that is what you are gonna say" ((my name is almost exactly like Monica Lewinsky, and is the #1 comment received any time anyone sees my name. I'm writing a book one day...)) "No" he says "I didn't think this was you, you look totally different"

Booya, I got my first post weight loss nod on the old ID. I told him he made my day.

Also, I'll give you reason 567,789,234 not to have kids. I have an entire 5 days dedicated to whatever the hell I wanna do, whenever the hell I wanna do it!

On that note, since it is MY Friday...Cheers to the freakin' weekend, fellow bloggers!!

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Cold is for the birds....

After braving the cold and ice the last two days and running, I have been on a mission to find warmth for running, lest I forgoe it altogether, and find myself starting at square one come spring. (my running partner actually bought me snow tires!!... little spikey things for my running shoes to ensure I keep it up thru winter...wish me luck!)

I bought thermals, warm socks, new gloves, an ear warmer, and my friend got me a gaitor that really helps for breathing!

I also recruited a new running partner from bootcamp, so when my usual friend cant come, I have another person! Plus, it makes me feel pretty awesome to run with a beginner, who thinks I make running look easy.

I find nothing easy about running!

Monday, December 05, 2011

I got to meet the great Tom Green...

I get to add Tom Green to the list of people I have stalked and successfully had a photo op with. The list is long.

And, because Magoo is the cutest dog ever, and his pictures with Santa and dog park tuckered him out, I give you "arm rest".

Saturday, December 03, 2011

Lonley Swedish....

I'm going to see Tom Green tonight at Pickwick and Frolick in the big city of Cleveland. Where my two best girlfriends and myself, will sing the bum bum song
the entire way there, and laugh stupidly about various show episodes until we cry, because that is what we do.

This is probably most exciting to only a handful of people, who actually enjoyed his show on MTV. Where he was the original antagonizer of his parents for the cameras. (screw the skateboarding jackass posers who copied it from him)

I wondered if Glen Humplick would be there, but I heard he doesn't leave Canada, eh?

I am wearing my knee high boots (with jeans of course...but I'm still wearing them cus like sexy underwear they make me feel good even if no one else knows I'm wearing them!) and my new top, and freshly coiffed hair!

There will be dancing at the square to close the night. (my favorite gay bar!)

Did I mention enjoying singlehood?

Thursday, December 01, 2011

Miss Self-Sufficient...Keep Your Distance...

I was in dress barn, utilizing my birthday discount (I'll be 35 again soon doncha know..) where I uttered these words to the sales lady in a totally serious manner...

"Yes, I'm looking for a cute holiday top, for pictures with Santa this weekend. So far, I think my dog is either wearing a red sweater, or a reindeer costume." She didn't even bat an eyelash, and we got a super cute top! Black, and sparkly, it'll match whatever we find Magoo!

What's more, Mr. Magoo and I both have hair appointments on Saturday, for said holiday photo. Score!

See, I don't need a romantic interest to be happy. I am a happy person with a tiny obsession with my dog.

Is this normal? Probably not!

I simply won't settle for less than the (as Carrie Bradshaw so eloquently stated) "zsa zsa zu" and until that crosses my path....

I have lots of interests to take up my time, a core to strengthen, 13.1 miles to achieve, muscles to build, and friends, and family to enjoy laughs with!

I have a very blessed existence partly because I can recognize that I do.