"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

TITMT Do You Believe?...

I had a date last night with CP. We went out for Chinese food. My entire body is bloated into misery today. How do people eat salt every day? I mean, in those quantities? God! No thank you! We headed on over to the theater and saw SAW III. Freaking aweseome! I heard that this series was a trilogy, but I dunno! I guess it's the Freddy and Jason thing, they can always come back? But yea, 'jigsaw' gets a little fucked up in this one, and stops giving people the chance to escape. Oddly enough you're like, 'hey that's not fair'.....but was it really fair in the other movies??

Today's Tell It To Me Tuesday Question from Janet is short and sweet "Do you believe in ghosts?"

Yes, I believe in ghosts. Kinda like people believe in God. Where's the proof? I find it to be a feeling, a faith. I belong to a ghost hunting group, and we seek ghosts out. I've done the all night trips to Mansfield Reformatory. Which are by far my favorite. The inside is being restored, but most of it reminds me of film of the titanic. Peeling paint, that 'abandoned' feel. You show up around 9 and you walk around the prison in the dark by yourself until the sun comes up. The place is big enough that you can be all by yourself, which makes for an incredible experience. I've gotten that 'being watched' feeling, but never caught anything on film or tape. Another interesting fact, is that Shawshank Redemption was filmed there.

On one particular night at the prison, a friend's boyfriend complained about not experiencing anything first hand, and we were the only people left, besides 1 car in the lot. When we got to the car, it wouldn't start. We were trying for about 20 minutes, freaked out because we were alone there, and then it just started. My friend tried to blame me because I bought a souvenier spoon from the gift shop, that she swore was haunted. I didn't say it, ok?

I was going to upload all sorts of pictures from my prison hunts, but we'll blame that on the man, for leaving me, and not being around to scan anything for me.

Last Halloween I spent the evening at Longwood Manor with some people from my ghost hunting group. This is an ongoing investigation, with tons of evidence. There have been first hand accounts of a child singing, and it's been recorded on evp's. There is also a ghost cat. If nothing else, it is an interesting place to investigate in the dark.

I also did an all nighter at Rogues Hollow. Where we spent a lot of time in the cabin experiencing activity with the dowsing rods, crystals, and emf.

As for personal experiences, we grew up in a haunted house. I was a baby still when we lived there, in Kenmore, Ohio. But my Mom tells stories about yelling at us to go to sleep, hearing children running around upstairs, and we were all in bed. A ball bouncing, and a dog that barked and growled at a particular chair. My sister saw a man when she was little, and asked my Mom who he was. The neighbors behind us, had weird things happen too. When my sister was out of high school, she moved in with her friend in that house. There was a man there that would show up in her bedroom.

When I lived with Those we don't speak of, I'm convinced his house was haunted. I didn't feel right from the day I moved in that place. I had horrible dreams. I never slept. I had to take prescription sleeping pills to stay asleep, I'd wake up on average 10 times a night.

His house was over 100 years old. The basement had dirt floors. God only knows what was buried in them. One day I was planting an aster bush, and kept trying to dig out this big 'rock'. I called him to come help me get it out, but it wasn't a rock at all. It was a tombstone. The first of many that I found in that yard. They were from the 1800's. First, the dumbass said they were halloween props. Then he said 'they moved all the bodies'. Because you know, it's easier to move bodies, and leave headstones, than it is to move the headstones and act like there are no bodies.

We got into several HUGE fights over that situation. I was disgusted that people would just build right over a cemetary no matter how old it is. He didn't believe it was a cemetary. Didn't want to even talk about it. Finally, he had a guy from the water department come out and dowse the yard, and they detected something every 6 feet. The guy that lived in the house before he bought it, tried to burn his garage down several times. The garage is where we found most of the headstones.

The funny thing about this is, he contacted a lawyer about the whole thing to see if he could get the previous owner in trouble, and now it's on record that he knows there use to be a cemetary there. That's what the research uncovered. Nice, right? So when he sells the house he has to disclose it.

Weird things that happened. Well I always felt someone in the basement. Call me crazy, I would NOT go down there when I was home alone. The cats wouldn't even use the litter box down there, and the dog wouldn't go near the door. There was an addition built onto the house, of the kitchen, and bathroom on the back side. And my one cat would never cross the 'invisible line' between the rooms without jumping over it, or backing up frantically and running off. It wasn't normal neurotic cat stuff. It was so bad, that I had her eyes checked out at the vet. Who told me it was normal neurotic cat stuff, and her eyes were fine. Whatever. She has never done that since moving out of that house.

It interests me to think there is another world besides the one we live in. And I don't even think I mean heaven or hell. From everything I've read on the topic, I choose to believe there is another world like ours, only we're not in it until we die.

What do you believe?

Monday, October 30, 2006

When I grow Up....

Monday already? At least the sun was shining when I woke up. The time change is rough the first few days. For sure! Saturday night the party was off for us, since it was close to 20 degrees. Gotta love that. Me and Kat went to the party at our usual hang out, the Bier Haus. Bubba stood us up. But I can guarantee you in a week she will say how we should get together and hang out, cus we NEVER do anything. She always plans events, and bails. Tough shit for her. Me and Kat are always kickin' it. I had 4 glasses of wine before hitting the bar. I rock.

Kat dressed up as some sexified evil angel. I love seeing everyones costumes, Nicole Ritchie was the most entertaining, as you might expect. She was super drunk, and kept showing everyone her black underwear, booty dancing with her friend, and dropping drink glasses on the dance floor. Some guy was lifting her skirt with his foot and we stopped him. Fucking pervert!

Some good costumes were super sperm, condom dispenser (with real dispensible condoms), deviled egg, and the mexicans from the restaurant next door, that dressed up as uh, mexicans. They were sloshed, and, they even did the mexican hat dance on the dance floor. I'm not sure if it was official, but it was entertaining. There was this one chick dressed as a cop, and her boyfriend was an inmate. Um, the cop lady was un-naturally perfectly shaped. We hated her. We decided that she was a miserable girl who never ate. But seriously, I dunno where the hell she came from, but you don't see much of girls like that round these parts.

Naturally after drinking, Kat and me like to cut loose on the dance floor. Some boys danced with us but we felt dumb. I really don't want to be someone who has to pick dudes up in a bar, ok? Please, someone wanna marry me already? Then the DJ danced with us, cus my mean brother wouldn't. Nothing like slow dancing with your best friend. Everyone is so jealous of us. We had a lot of drinks and a lot of laughs, and a lot of frickin' pizza rolls when we got home.

Hey, did I tell you that I found my first gray hair yet? Yes? Oh, Ok. Then, I found #2 this morning. It was probably there at the same time as #1 but, maybe it was glued to my head or something. I might have gray hair, but I was still kickin' it at the bar, with the extra hour, even after the ugly lights came on! I'm mostly depressed about the hair thing, cus I wanted to be that old lady with the belly shirt, and fuck me boots dancing at the clubs. This gray hair totally killed my dreams. Of course, I'm kidding. She was instructed to never let me do that.

Another thing I'm forbidden from doing? Wearing cat shirts. Shirts about cats, with cat pictures, cat asses, paw prints, I don't care. I love cats, but wearing cat shirts just screams crazy cat lady. I also do not want to wear those themed tops. Sweaters especially. No snowflakes, snowmen, pumpkins, hearts, nothing. You know, like the sweaters I saw in the women's department at Kohl's where I had to shop for my shirt the day I found my gray hair. I'll hunt you down when I'm dead and reviewing my life, if you let me wear that shit. Seriously!

Friday, October 27, 2006

Spread Your Wings and Fly...South....

This moving thing at work has really screwed me up. I blame the move since it involves co-workers. I had some seriously disturbing dreams lately. Last night Tayray was getting it on with my ex Z and not hiding it. Like, it was OK to share him. Then, one about a guy I use to sit by, who might be attractive to someone his age. Nice guy but sex dream worthy? Not so much. And, then there is my big boss. Who some people think is cute, but to me, it's like that brother thing. GROSS. What the fuck? Get out of my dreams. It's my sacred place. Reserved mainly for frolicking with Edwin McCain, and Johnny Depp, or Orlando Bloom! Lately my dreams freaking suck! Death? Affairs with unattractive men?

Around here, most birds and ducks migrate south. You can see them in droves flying and chirping. There are so many at times, they look like a black street spread across the sky. Where are they going? I mean, in Florida is there an invasion of birds in the winter? In cartoons, they packed their suitcases, and headed to Florida, so I assume this is still where they are going. Am I wrong?

Why do I wanna fly south? It snowed Monday and Tuesday. Just light flurries that melted on the ground, but it still snowed. Have I turned on my heat yet? No. (Well, I did turn it on in the bunnies room only cus I'm a good Momma). I have that expensive radiant heating shit in each room. I have a space heater for when I'm numb. It's been in the 30's. I'm like fucking Scrooge!

Guess what I got my dog for the winter? The cutest coat at Old Navy. It's blue, and brown plaid, fleece lined, and adorable. It's this style. She can get around way better in this than in her wool jacket. She is the cutest thing ever. They didn't have any of these, but I'm getting her some. Laugh it up. Probably the worst thing Old Navy could do, is carry a dog clothing line. As if I don't buy myself too much shit there. See why I need two jobs?

A girl I work with is making custom fit dog clothes. Ummm. I might have picked out a pattern for Little Hill. But, she really needs this stuff. Embroidered with her name. She sits and shivers when it's cold. Who am I kidding, even if she didn't need it, I'd buy her clothes. She's my little slice of heaven.

Happy Halloweener weekend everybody. I'm going here. I'm gonna wear a lot of clothes to keep warm, and then you can say I'm going as a person who wears a lot of clothes. Because, I don't do costumes. Bethie brought me cat ears. That's the extent of it. I'm going to smuggle some wine in to keep warm. That's the plan anyways. I don't like parties where the alchohol situation isn't clearly spelled out for me. So what? I did read it's BYOB, and "party supplies". That means weed. And bongs. Seriously, it's a hippy fest. And, a benefit. I'm all about helping people. I'm sure it'll be tons of fun.

Suppose to go pick pumpkins on Sunday, but being that me and CP can no longer cohabitate due to his inability to speak the truth to me, this may fall through. At least, MY happy ass is going to get my own pumpkin. It's tradition. I'm also cat sitting. Did I mention Tayray is in fucking Cancun? While we're here in the cold? Did I mention that she's on my shitlist?

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Murder on My Mind.....

Did you miss me? I missed you. I was couped up in an off-site meeting all day. Discussing our future as a business. It was pretty interesting, we are going to start selling some of our product exclusivly to big box stores. A new line. The up or down side of that depending on how you look at it is that we are not branding our product. Good, because dealing with live plants, half the time the big stores don't care for them, and they look like shit and that can give us a bad name. Bad, cus when people realize how wonderful we are, they wont know it's us. But if I'm being honest, you probably buy either our own genetics, or one of our brokers every year for your garden. Yea. We're pretty important.

I dreamt that I was almost killed last night. You know how usually there are people you think are your friends or you think you are at home but it wasnt really your home or friends? This happened in my apartment, the day my Mom and Sister came to visit me. I got new neighbors where Tayray lives, and they had an all night party and being the bitch I can be, I called the cops on them. So, they stabbed me in the heart. I blame this on Lost. If you watched it you know why. But, I didnt die. I hung out my whole dream waiting on the cops to come save me, but I never died. I got around with a knife in my chest. Fucking neighbors.

Now....time for LOST! ********Spoilers **********

Holey shit what an episode. As usual, I had to watch it twice. I also had to pay my fucking cable bill because they shut me off. On LOST night. Assholes!

The stuff I noticed was the #8 on the bunny, the numbers on the prisoners uniforms, were all "the numbers". The island the others are on, doesn't make sense. In episode one, it shows that the plane crashed on the island they were all on. And, when the Losties were on their island, how come they can't see the other one? Something isn't right there. Especially since Benry said they are better con men.

All I could think of was "I pet the rabbits George" when Sawyer was reading of mice and men. When benry shook that bunny to 'death', I could have killed him. (I have two bunnies lest we forget!) Sawyer seemed mighty concerned. "Did you kill that bunny?". Only sensetive people call rabbits bunnies. Obviously they are doing some sort of tests on the rabbits. Juliette is a fertility Dr.? Rabbits? Fucking like rabbits? Hello? Plus, an episode last season was called "White rabbit" remember? And, that was reference to the episode title. Also, Kate said "live together die alone" to Sawyer, which we all know was last season's season finale title.

One I can't take credit for noticing, is the tidbit about the 8 on the bunny from Stephen King's book on writing. See it here.

Who do you think has the tumor? Benry? I think its gray beard. Benry is too obvious a choice. I also think they don't want help. They probably want to quit their miserable existance on that island. But then, isn't Benry quite tolerant? I mean, they almost killed him last season, and this season he's gotten knocked around, and yet, he hasn't snapped yet. Of course, I think he's a freaking loon, but what do I know?

Did you catch Benry saying they had a sub? "The sub is back and we have a situation". This is how those freaks got on the boat with Jin, Sayid, and Sun, without getting wet.

What about this statement from gray beard? "It's been two days since the sky turned purple, we've been blind, my coms are down and I can't get 'em back up again, and in case you forgot, Colleen's in critical..." Interesting that he said the sky turned purple. Not, 'the explosion' or 'the EMF imploded'. Maybe they don't have a clue what's going on either?

Desmond knows the future. I can't wait to see how this pans out. Innnnteresting. And, I'm not loving the new losties their introducing. I hope it's only so they can be killed off. They are horrible actors. Who do you think the pirate is in the previews? I think Radzinsky (sp?). You know, the button pusher before Kelvin, that blew his brains out supposedly.

Don' t forget, only 2 more episodes til it's off for 3 months. Thanks to all the whiney ass bitches who complained about re-runs, now we have to go without it as to not piss anyone off. Thanks. Assholes. I'll be re-watching the 6 episodes. Diligently.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Tell It To Me Tuesday...Back To The Future...

Today, Janet asks..."What are your favorite bands or artists of today?" And what artists show promise for the future? She gives no limit on this one. Hell yeah.

Staind- I use to make fun of people who like hard rock/metal music. Now...here I am. I started to like stained in the 90's, when my life felt like the lyrics to "Mudshovel" I feel betrayed Stuck in your ways /And you rip me apart With the brutal things you say /I can't deal with shit anymore I just look away/ Cause you can't feel my ANGER You can't feel my pain /You can't feel my torment Driving me insane I can't fight these feelings they bring only pain/ You can't take away Make me whole again.
I'm all about music with lyrics that I can relate to, and Staind has the best lyrics for people who have been fucked over. Beat down, and pushed around. And not to mention, I find Aaron Lewis to be a major hottie.

Eminem-I'll say that I didn't jump on the Slim Shady band wagon until Encore. But I did enjoy some of his music. I became more tolerable in my old age, and able to see his music as humorous, and a marketing ploy, vs. being offended by it. Now, shake that ass for me.

Cold-Please don't confuse Cold....with Coldplay (know how I know that you're gay?). Cold is a kick-ass screaming metal band. Stupid Girl sucked me in, and now I like their older stuff, and look forward to more awesome songs from this band.
Wanna love ya wanna touch ya wanna kiss ya stupid girl. I'm a loner, I'm a loser, I'm a winner, In my mind. I'm a bad one, I'm a good one, I'm a sick one, With a smile..

Disturbed-Who didn't like Down with the sickness? I can see inside you, the sickness is risingDon't try to deny what you feel It seems that all that was good has died And is decaying in me.
I love a man that can scream. Can you see a theme here? I've seen Disturbed a few times live, they fucking rock! The first time I went, I'll never forget it was at a small venue. The stage show images, set up, feel of the crowd (everyone pumping their arms in unison) made me feel like the beginning of Blade. You know, where the vampires bring unsuspecting 'dates' to a rave, then the blood sprinklers come on, and its dinner time? Awesome!

Limp Bizkit - Now, the cool kids might say, I'm a dumbass for still liking these guys, because of some stupid crap that happened on stage. What the hell do I care I wasn't there. And, I'm all about loyalty. I don't just stop liking a band cus of something they did. They rock, I rock with them. A band that made a song like Break Stuff, deserves proper credit.
Its just one of those days,Where you don't want to wake up. Everything is fucked, Everybody sucks. You don't really know why, But you wanna justify, Rippin someone's head off. No human contact, and if you interact, your life is on contract.Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker, It's just one of those days.
And who hasn't done it all... for the Nookie?

50 Cent - Now, I like his music, and I think the anthem of the millenium should be Disco Inferno, or Candy Shop. Live? Worst concert I've ever been to in my life. Ever. In my life. I stil luh ya fiddy!

Godsmack - Fuck yea. Godsmack! Best song for a break up in the world? "Whatever". And I wonder day to day/I don't like you anyway/I don't need your shit today/you're pathetic in your own way/I feel for you/Better fuckin go away/I'm doin' the best I ever did I'm doin the best that I can I'm doin the best I ever did NOW GO AWAY!
Awesome live show also. Saw them a couple of times. You can't help but get up and rock out!

Black Eyed Peas - I don't think they have a song that I don't like. And, they gave birth to Fergie. What more needs to be said?

Lacuna Coil - I'm interested to see if there are any other fans out there. Their an Italian band, people compare them to Evenesence. They opened for one of the rock shows we saw, years ago, and they stuck with me. They're awesome. They recently redid "Enjoy the Silence" but they did it totally different, so I love it.

Linkin Park - I love the mix of rap, mixing, the screaming man, and overall feel of their music. It's just freaking awesome. I wish they would come out with music faster though. Took forever to come up with a new album, and it was a remix of their last album. WTF? But, seeing how they take years between albums, I see them around for a long time. Rock on dudes.

Korn - I love Korn. Don't they tear it up? Why yes, yes they do! I got to see them only once, at Ozzfest, but I'll take it! I lump them into the 'hate music category' and I love it. They came onto the mainstream scene with "Got the Life"
God paged me, you'll never see the lie, who wants to see? God told me, I've already got the life, oh I say... God paged me, you'll never see the lie, who wants to see? God told me, I've already got the life, oh I say...

Drowning Pool - This band was quickly becoming a favorite, then the lead singer had to choke on his own vomit at Ozzfest, and die. They have started coming back with some good music lately so I think they are going to be around for a while. You know drowning pool...."let the bodies hit the floor let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor"

Shakira - I do like some music that's not screaming. I love shakira. Dirty Laundry is my favorite CD to jog on the treadmill to. It's upbeat, and keeps me going. Not to mention, she's freaking hot! "Whenever, Wherever"

Edwin McCain - Duh. Like he wouldn't be on my list? If you go here, you'll hear why he is so magically delicious! I see he is finally back on the East coast touring. I don't like sharing him with the West coast. He better come to Ohio this winter. Momma needs a dose of Edwin. Plus, he misses me.

I gotta end this or I'll go on FOR EV ER! Guess what? It snowed yesterday. Flurries. Nothing stuck, but isn't that depressing?

You too, can Join in the fun!

Monday, October 23, 2006

You Can Find Most Anything At Kohl's...

I took the morning off work, to go to an interview with Office Team. I'm on the great job hunt for my second job. I love to torture myself with working my life away. I need to marry a rich man to take me away from all of this. If I could just settle for not having anything, I can work 1 job. But, I have this thing called goals. One of which, is to pay off my credit card debt ASAP. Two jobs is the only way. I did excellent on my Word, Excel, typing, data entry alpha and data entry numeric tests. They said I got double the average keystrokes on all the tests, and 90, and 95% on the Microsoft tests. Do I rule? Why yes, yes I do!

Since I don't have to dress that nice to work, I had to go buy a nice shirt to wear for my meeting this morning. Kohl's has great sales, so off I went. The first shitty thing was, I had to shop in the women's department, because nothing fit me anywhere else. Strike one. Strike two came, while trying on clothes in the dressing room. It's bad enough that the lighting in there makes you look horrible under your clothes, but what about everywhere else?

And that my friends, is when I saw it. Plain as day. Mocking me in the mirror. No doubt about it, honest to goodness, my first gray fucking hair!!! Gray. Not blonde. Not a cat hair floating amongst my dark hair. A gray hair. Right in my part of all places, about an inch and a half long. I furiously tried to pull it out, but it wouldn't budge. It kept curling. Bouncing right back up.

I felt ridiculous. I'm 30. I'm not old. Why does my body want to do this to me? I decided, I wasn't even taking back the clothes I didn't want. Now that I'm old, it's time to act like I'm entitled to do as I please, like the rest of the old biddies, and leave my clothes in the dressing room. Fuck it.

It doesn't stop there. I stopped at the grocery store to get some cat food, and picked a few other things up, like 27 lbs of cat litter. When I pulled my cart up to the register, the cashier said, "Maam, you don't have to lift that heavy thing, I'll get the numbers off the side." Maam? That lady was older than I was. Ok, so now I'm old and feeble. I get out to my car, and here comes the bag boy with my cat food. "Is this yours Maam?" "Yes" I say, "That's that main reason I came today. Thank you so much for bringing that out to me." "No problem" he says "My MOM does that stuff all the time. Want me to lift that into your trunk for you?" Pointing at my 27 lb kitty litter. I felt defeated. "Sure".

So, I found a gray hair, and instantly turned into some old crotchity woman. I went from a 'Miss' to a 'Maam'. I called my Mom to tell her the bad news. "Some people get gray hair when they are 18." Like that made me feel any better. I said "I'm not 18. I'm 30." I don't remember thinking I was old at 18. My sister? Said "payback's a bitch." CP? said "it's not your first one, I saw more but didn't want to tell you." I refuse to believe that one.

I'll be working my life away into spinsterhood. Me, and my gray hair. I'll never let it rest. It is devestating to me. I have such a fear of getting old. Welcome to my mid life.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Karma Is Your Friend..A Sex Tape Scandal...

I may or may not have ever mentioned that I was a foolish 22 year old, and made an incriminating sex tape with my ex boyfriend. The one that I had the best sex with. The one that was a freak like me. Imagine (or don't if you're scared) the possibilities. It was a shitty relationship, and he cheated on me, and was physically and mentally abusive. Eventually I left, with the help of my good friend Katie. Who..basically gave me no choice in the matter as she took me to pack up my crap to her house. (I owe her forever for that).

But, in all the hustle and bustle, the tape was left behind. This is the ex that I've never completely been out of contact with, Z. So, from time to time he would mention how he watched our tape. I would get mad and want it back. When I was with my last ex, Bubba went with me once to get the tape, and he told me he had destroyed it. Years later, he's still watching it.

So, I hadn't heard from him in over a month. He called me recently. His baby momma found our sex tape. And...watched it. Now first of all I wanted to die, because the thought of anyone else seeing that makes my skin crawl. Second of all, what kind of a stupid asshole watches an entire sex act with their boyfriend and his ex? I think it would take me maybe 10 seconds to have seen enough. I guess some things were brought up about her not being that 'into' sex, and she said that she see's why he said those things to her. She finally put an end to the sex tape, and ripped it up. At least I don't have to think about someone else seeing it again.

Where does the karma come into play? Well, I guess his woman cheated on him. Z told me that he'd always been the cheater, and he apologized for cheating on me, and said that no one should feel the way it makes you feel. He said he deserved to be kicked in the balls for doing it, and I would happily oblige if he were serious. I can't say that it doesn't make me smile, fuck, it makes me laugh hysterically, to know that he finally knows what it feels like. Add to that the fact that he is supporting her like I did him, until she got a job taking her clothes off.

We've been broke up for about 7 years now, and it did take a long time, but look, karma got him in the end. I wasn't able to ever get him back for hurting me, but the rules of the universe did it for me. And, they also had that fucking tape destroyed.

The End.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Locke Is Back!...

****Lost spoilers from last night*****
I dunno what to even say about last night's Lost episode. Me? Speechless? Believe that. Locke is one seriously mysterious dude. You know, season one he shows up all bad ass, and hunts the polar bears, and boar. Boards the plane in a wheelchair, and now, he is walking around. Cured by the island. We all assume this but having seen his past, do we maybe think he was faking it? Maybe? Then the island gets hold of him and turns him into some button-pushing pansy. All of a sudden, he is 'talking to the island'. The hatch implodes, he survives, and goes into a sweat hut to see drug induced hallucinations? On purpose? Isn't that some sort of indian crap? Anyone wonder how on earth they survived the implostion? See that hole? First....the plane crash and now the implosion. I think that our Losties may be superhuman.

And...the polar bear den. Ok, so how does a polar bear get people into its cave, with toys? I'm sure a kid is going to hold on to that truck when being dragged by a bear to its death? The only logical explanation is, either the bear is a human and lured people to his cave. Or, the bear was the kid who owned that truck? I'm sticking with the whole 'others are animal hybrids' thing for a while now. Same with the time warping stuff...the others are trying to stop the end of the world, or the valezenian equation (I butchered the spelling) as uncovered in the Lost Experience.

What about last night's easter eggs, did you catch them? I think they were obvious. All the people in Lockes hallucination, the old melted truck in the polar bear den, the hole/hatch. Not so obvious, the DOB differences on Locke's gun permit being 11/15/46, and his liscense saying 5/30/56. The old dharma initiative symbol in the bear cave. All the bones. The numbers on the undercover cops I.D. 84023....some of 'the numbers'. The same guy had on a Geronimo Jackson Tshirt, remember Charlie and Hurley found their music in season 1 in the hatch.

Eko's stick has new writing. "Lift up your eyes and look North". What the hell does this mean? Who knows. But they showed it intentionally. Desmond can see the future. How cool is that? First when he said he heard Locke give that speech, I thought of that book The Bad Twin. Maybe Locke has a twin? Maybe thats why he was so different last season, and now is back to normal? Maybe Hurley was on to something "Your not going to turn into the Hulk are you?" Maybe the implosion will give them super powers. It wasnt very clear as to how Hurley knew the hatch was gone before being told either.

The other that is known as 'Zeke' or long beard...looked an awful lot like the pot farmer didn't he? Clearly, this wasn't on accident. But Locke has met him in the jungle on the island, so if it were the same person, clearly he would know. Other than that, I see next week the producers make good on their promise that Kate 'must choose between Sawyer and Jack'. If this means that one of them dies. I might have to die too. Unless it's Sawyer. Jack is my hero.
********End Lost*********

I was sitting at work last night before working out and my coworker said those magic words. "Have you lost weight?". Six months later someone notices. It's like pumping heroin into my veins. Love it. I just gotta keep on keepin on. By the way my other coworker never came to aerobics last night. Only 5 people came. Bunch of slackers.

CP came over last night to watch Lost, but he left right after. It's pretty freaking weird. But, you know what? I cleaned my house on Friday, and it's still clean. And, there is no junk food in my cupboards. I got alot done too, gave the dog a bath, dishes, mopped the kitchen, cleaned the freezer, filled the ice bin, swept, cleaned cat hair off everything, changed litter boxes, a load of laundry, and did my nails. And the best part is, when I go home, the house will look the same way. And, I'll have ice cubes. I love my freaking ice cubes. But, I'm the only one who knows the secret recipe. Apparently.

Is it pathetic that I am so anal about having things clean? Do other people really give a shit? I just hate the fact that I bust my ass to clean and the next day it's a pig stye. It is like blatent disrespect of all my hard work. I spend an entire Saturday cleaning. And by Monday, you'd never know it. Thanks Mom, for instilling that in me. I know I didn't develop this on my own. And you know, it's always the Mom's fault.

I noticed on Oprah...that they traveled on their road trip near my damned house. Wanna know why no one heard about it? They visited the Amish. They keep to themselves. They were in Fredricksburg, a hop, skip, and a jump away. Of course, when I go to Amish country, I go to Applecreek, or Sugarcreek, or the Swiss Village. I've never been where they went. Do the amish live in the mid-west and west coast's? Or, are they all over here with us East coasters? I guess I never thought of it, cus we see them all the time, they're all over.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Trojan Man....

Wtf is up with blogger latley? I'm about tired of it taking an hour to log in. I didn't sleep well but I got a lot of sleep. I'm still exhausted. I'm happy today because Lost is on. It's ok to have an addiction to TV, it's harmless. What's better? A friend from work is going to go to aerobics tonight with me! I won't mention, how I havn't gone in 5 days. I don't feel much like doing anything. Men blow the big one. Being alone is hard. I know it'll get better. Easier. And...we ARE still talking. My ex Z called yesterday. Don't think it wasn't extremely tempting to just have a hot steamy session. Take my mind off of things. In order to be in better spirits today, here's a story about another ex.

I was reminded of the incident, cus I was watching on Oprah, medical problems most people have, but are embaressed to talk about. One such problem, was 'losing a tampon'. To which the Dr. kept saying, they aren't lost, they are just stuck. And most women don't know they are there, they go to the Dr. for other reasons, and they are found.

I know if this hasn't happened to you, you're probably thinking "what a dumbass". No, that hasn't happened to me, but I did have a problem of equally disgusting proportions. And since I have no shame, I'll share that story with you.

It was about 4 years ago, I was dating TWDSO (the ex) and at the time, I still thought the sex was pretty awesome. Amazing what being celibate for a while will fool you into thinking, right?
Anyway, we were at the Rolling Rock concert in Pennsylvania for the night, and we got a hotel room to rest our drunk, weary heads. In the morning, we were trying to have some sex, when our friends kept calling, and we said we'd be down in a minute. They wanted to go to breakfast. Next, came the knocking on the door, they were ready to leave. Really, they were being haters cus they weren't having any sex. Assholes.

When we were rushed into completion, TWDSO said "where's the condom?" I said "it probably came off in the sheets or something". So, he searched the bed while I rushed to get ready to check out of our hotel room. "I can't find it". Great. Just what you want the maid to find, right? Being the concerned person I am I took everything off of the bed, shook it out, looked under the bed, it was nowhere to be found, meanwhile, friends pounding on the door, right? We had to go, and I thought 'sucks to be the maid!'.

We went to breakfast, then had roughly a 3 hour trip to get home. We never gave that condom a second thought. To not be graphic, two days later I'm thinking, something doesn't feel right. I kinda had cramps, and it was just an odd feeling in the girly bits. It was then, that I found that phantom condom. Yea, it was 'stuck' for two days. Isn't that fantastic?

Now, one might ask, how it happened. I blame the fact that he was not circumsized, and condoms never seemed to stay on right, not to mention, he wasn't well endowed. So, them coming off was normal, but not this way. How did I not notice it? Obviously it was not just sitting there, or I would have. This kinda shit happens to people, but they just don't talk about it.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

I'm a Downer Today (TITMT)...

For TITMT, skip to the ***** below the BS going on.

It's raining today. And, dark. I didn't want to get up out of bed, but it wasn't just because of the rain. I knew that me and CP were going to have to deal with some issues eventually. Well, eventually came this weekend. He's gone. Again. The only thing that is keeping me from losing my mind, is that we're still talking. He is going to live away from me until he gets some help. He has issues that I can't help him deal with, because I've tried. Him staying with me is only making matters worse. I get more resentful, he gets further into whatever it is that he is into. He's too comfortable with me, and he takes me for granted. Basically he exists. Every once in a while he will wash a dish when I ask him 10 times, but other than that he is waking up, playing video games, working, games, sleep, spending money. Being depressed. Spending money. Lying about spending money. Mostly, the key word in this paragraph, is lying.

I worked 2 jobs for almost 2 years. Every day. Sat on my ass for 14 hours. I gained like 30 pounds. I had no life. I hated it. The point is, that no matter how bad it was, I stuck with it, because I had only myself to depend on. I think that when you are in a relationship, you can depend on each other. Don't get me wrong, CP thinks that too, but as long as he is the one depending. He was ok with me paying for everything, and him blowing everything he made. Why? Because I make more money. Sure, I can afford to live where I am on my own with one job. Can I pay off credit cards and save money? No, not really. Do I want to change the lifestyle I have? No.

I get the feeling that he is using me. That's how I take it. He doesn't want me to do well. You usually help each other out in a relationship, help each other reach their goals. I tried to help him, but he didn't really try to help me. Not until it got so bad that it was the only way to stay together. He likes to think all I care about is money. Which, if you know about us and our relationship, is not true. He has no money. All I ever asked of him is that he pay for 1/2 the living expenses. I think that you should be equals. Contribute equally. Nowhere in my book of life have I written that I have the desire to support another human being. I have no problems helping someone, but you also have to know when to say when. Now, he wants to quit his job.

I did that whole soul searching, who am I, and where am I going phase when I was 24. I put a lot of time, and effort into myself, and I am now, the person I'm going to be. I have no desire to be different, and I'm secure in my decision. There is always compromise, and I made a ton of those this time around. What I know for sure, is that I want to share a life with someone who has ambition. I'm a hard worker, committed to my job. I am mostly level headed. I have been through enough BS to know I don't want any more of it. And, I try to be a good friend, and a good Mom to my furkids. Those things give me a sense of accomplishment. That is what makes me happy. That is what I use to seek from men in my life. I learned how to get it on my own. I don't think CP, at 37...has yet to learn how to find happiness with himself. Which is huge.

We tried to talk again last night, and things went good with planning on him trying to get help and on some sort of medication, and we'd still see each other from time to time. Everything was fine until I asked him how we were going to handle the finances, seeing how he screwed me out of $500 again. He got defensive and pissed off, and said in relationships there are no 'owes'. That was when he told me I wasn't exactly hurting for money. So, because I have stuck with the same job, worked my ass off, and gotten somewhere, I should support someone who continually screws up our finances. See the problem? I'm once again on the job hunt. I'm hoping to find something maybe just through the holidays. I could kick myself for quitting that second job in May. I made really good money there.

******************On a lighter note

Janet asks today for Tell it to me Tuesday: What are your top ten nineties artists or bands?

10. Paperboy. I think he only ever had one song, but when your one song is "Ditty" what more do you need?

9. Tupac. I get around, Brenda's got a baby, California dreamin. These are the classics of the 90's.

8. Hootie & The Blowfish. Their songs are awesome if you like meaningful music. And, can get past the gay name. Their responsible for my Edwin finally breaking out. And by breaking out, I mean, getting an awesome fan base.

7. Alanis Morrisette. Her 'Jagged little Pill' album, single handedly got me through my shitty divorce era. Every song, I loved! And, what girl didn't sing 'You outta know' to some asshole?

6. Celine Dion. Ok, So, I loved Celine Dion. I still listen to her CD's when I want to cry. 'Because you loved me' was my wedding song. Puke.

5. Shania Twain. Yes. I liked country. It was the 90's. I think everyone did. Leave me alone. She was the coolest back in the day!

4. Boyz II Men. Why couldn't they get their shit together and make a come back? I loved these guys! End of the road, I'll make love to you, Momma.

3. Bell Biv Devoe. I can't count the number of times I sang this: Backstage, underage adolescent, how you doin, fine, she replied, I sorta like to do the wild thing. Move to the jacuzzi, ohhh thats juicy smack it up flip it and rub it down oh nooooooo. You can do me in the morning you can do me in the night, you can do me when you wanna do me. Nuff said.

2. Madonna. Note, that I put her as #2, only second to Edwin, because she has been around forever. I loved her stuff in the 90's just the same as every other era. Ray of light, Rain, classics.

1. Edwin McCain. Love my Edwin. Always will! He caught me with his 90's hit 'I'll Be' and never let me go. Once I bought that album, I got everything he ever touched. Have I mentioned that um, he touched me too? Yea, thought so, but you never get sick of hearing it...right?

Monday, October 16, 2006

Bend Me Break Me....

Monday already. Aside from 80's night, my weekend pretty much sucked balls, I'm totally depressed, and thats all I have to say about that. Not many people went out, but Tayray, Todd, Kat, Matt, and my brother showed up. There was a billion people at the bar which is unusual. We had a good time despite the fact that I had the shits all day and an upset stomach. I had a few beers and was fine until I started dancing. We all went back to my house minus T&T and watched The 40 Year Old Virgin. That's always an after bar classic.

I'm all moved into my new office. Not unpacked yet. It feels weird I'm use to being up against a wall and now I'm not so I feel sort of lost in space. Send help.

My new nose screw came in the mail. It only took me about 15 minutes to get my old one out. It's a screw so it hooks in, and twists down into the nostril. Not easy. Especially not with nails. It's like that so it won't come out on its own, and I like that. When I tried to put my new one in, I noticed it's about half the size of my original peircing. It could get lost in my hole if I wasn't careful. Ok...so that sounded wrong. I decide I'll just put the old one back in, and wait to get another nice diamond when I get paid. Uh uh...not happening. I tried and tried, but I couldn't get it back in. At this point, my eyes are watering, and my nose is bleeding. I decide, this is best left to a professional, and I trucked my ass down to the local tattoo parlor.

Dude couldn't get my peircing in either. And it didn't feel nice. My nose was running and my eyes were flooding. He sold me a flat silver stud with a little diamond. Not as cute as my REAL diamonds, but it'll do. Wrong. There is no hook to hold it inside my nose, but it goes in fairly easy. I went on my way. Just like when I first got it done, there is no pain afterwards.
I wake up at 5 a.m. and it's gone. Missing. I think "holey fuck, I'm not going through this bullshit again" and I do what any logical person would do, I wake up the man and tell him to get his ass out of bed so I can find my peircing. Luckily I found it, and even better, I get it right back in. So, until I can get a new one and have it properly fitted, I'm going to be sleeping with masking tape on my nose. I know, it's totally hot. The things I do to be cool.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Breaking All The Rules...

Happy Friday the 13th. Now that I own all the movies, I don't have to complain that they never show any "Friday's" on the 13th. My Friday started out pretty awesome, CP woke me up for some sex about 2 a.m. he worked over. He also said that a deer bucked his car, it's just scuffed it's not bad at all. Remember I stopped for a deer last summer and the mofo kept crossing in front of me, and I had a hard time passing it? CP stopped for it and he bucked his car. I got a good laugh at it, but if it was my car I'd be pissed. It's like the Ring 2. Deer are some crazy sumbitches. Seriously, their not so innocent. But then again, if I were being harassed by men with guns, I'd go around bucking cars too.

So, since I like to be a bitch sometimes, and I also like to complain, I put my powers to good use, and got those cabinets moved from the wall in my new area at work. You know, the ones that were sucking up a foot deep, and 8 feet long of my wall space in the new office? You besta recognize. Their moving us this weekend, and I am in the process of packing up 7 years worth of mostly useless crap. It's taking for ev er.

Well, ever since I broke my own rule and weighed myself, and found out I could be two people, things have taken a turn for the better. Sure, I've been going to the gym for 5 months now....5 days a week, but nothing was really happening. Small changes, less flab, smaller calves, harder ass, sure, but no real weight loss. I've dropped 6 lbs since I gave up step aerobics and started walking in it's place. That was only a week ago. I rock. When I can only be 2 Nicole Richie's.....THEN I'll feel accomplished!

I'm still working on that morning workout thing. I started waking up at my second alarm (I have 3) and taking an energy pill...so that when my next alarm goes off I'm wide awake. So far, this hasn't worked for me. Even though I'm not tired anymore...I still lay there with my eyes closed, just hoping for 5 more minutes of sleep. What. Thefuck. Is my deal? God. If I'd just do a half hour on the treadmill in the morning, I know I'll be wide awake to start the day. And on time for work. Bed is so comfy.

Monday I didn't go to aerobics because the sun was shining, and it was like 75 degrees. Since it'll soon be snowing (it was spose to snow in Cleveland), I had to take advantage of it. I rode the old bike to the next town. It only took me an hour, and I felt pretty good about it. When I got home? I was covered in bugs. I was like a giant headlight, bursting through the air. I'm not one to make fun of people.....(yes I am) but this rather large, dirty looking, completely back woods looking man was in our aerobics area, watching us, sporting a shirt that read "the more I drink, the better you look". Are people seriously that stupid?

Wish me luck as next week starts my coming to work on time. Getting up early. Uhh, getting to work on time at least. I also got an interesting call from the ex this week, which makes for a good story.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Scream Awards...(And Last Night's Lost Episode)..

So, do we all love blogger today, or what?

I'm going to start out with Lost today. Spoilers if you didn't see it. Go to the **** if you have no taste in TV and don't watch.

*****Begin Lost Obsessive talk******
Ok so this week, was even more awesome. First of all, it was fan speculation that it was to be a Kate episode, and it was a Sun/Jin flashback. Oh well, still interesting. More and more I think that the people in the Losties lives have sent them to that island for a reason. They all have issues with someone 'back in the real world' who may think they'd benefit with a little island lesson. Of course, this is only my fourth theory so who knows.

The hydra. Interesting hatch. Fans say there is no way it's underwater and it's all a lie. What else does hydra mean? It was on CSI last night ( I never watch this so I think it's a sign) Hydra was a 7 headed dragon in greek mythology. Maybe that is the new monster previewed next week?

How awesome was it that Sawyer laid one on Kate? Even though, in my heart I know Kate belongs with Jack, the man has some balls. Now, he has them all figured out! Um what the hell Ben/Henry has been on the island his whole life? Obviously, the offspring of the Dharma initiative people? But then as Kat pointed out, that would make Benry 33. He does NOT look 33, he is easily in his mid forties. I think him and Juliette are siblings. They have an odd relationship. "you never made me soup". Freak.

Ok, so the others have access to the outside world. Why ARE they on that island? Did they really send Michael home? Do we trust Benry? Are they going to kill him? Home means different things for different people. Will they really let Jack go if he cooperates? And what does cooperate mean? Lie and hurt his friends like Michael? Are they going to make him operate on someone? Or...could it be that they want Jack to let someone die? Since he has that whole issue with not letting go, and saving people.

It's like he is in rehab or something. It said in EW that the others are animal/human hybrids. What do you think about that? I think it might make perfect sense with the monsters appearing and disappearing. And even more, how 2 men could run to the plane crash site, in "an hour" on episode one when Ben sends Goodwin and Ethan to infiltrate the Losties. You saw how far away they are from the beach. It would also explain why that kid Karl was in the cage when Sawyer was taken there. Maybe he is some sort of hybrid.

It would further explain why Ana Lucia called them animals several times, and Michael did as well. The producers are big with giving you blatent hints to things, but we just don't get it. We try to see more into it than there is. Hmmmm..... Plus, what kind of animal was that making a ruckus when Kate and Sawyer were in the cages?

WTF? I'm pretty mad at Sayid. I am thinking he's on the other's side. There are other 'Other's' per the producers, keep that in mind.

What are the Losties going to do without Jack around to kiss their boo boos?

They seem to be making the losties do things against what they would normally do. Michael was an absent father, once he betrayed his friends for his son, they 'let him go'. Shannon was a spoiled bitch, and once she found love, she died. I think they will make Jack go against what he is wired to do also. Same with Kate and Sawyer, criminals, I think they want them to try and escape, or learn to depend on others, which is not in their nature to do.

*********End lost rambling**************

So, on Spike TV Tuesday night, they had the first annual "Scream Awards". Talk about an awesome fucking show. It was an awards show for horror, fantasy, sci fi and comic books. I loved it! Best death scene, scream queen, best villian. Most memorable mutilation? Hell yea. Right up my alley. We also got to see exclusive scenes from the new Saw III. You can see the trailer at the scream awards site too. Which...might I add, looks pretty bad ass! They had people like Ozzy getting an award for immortal rock, Korn performed, Linda blair was on, Rob zombie, Quentin Terintino. All the usual suspects.

Guess what I do NOT like that I saw on the show? Rob Zombie is remaking Halloween. Ok, there have been a ton of horror movie remakes that I have liked. The Hills Have Eyes. Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The Amityville Horror. There have also been some shitty remakes. When a Stranger Calls. The Fog. The Omen.

You can't replace Michael Meyers. What's next? Nightmare on Elm Street? Do they think they can make Freddy better? Evil Dead? Good luck! Some things are better left alone. I think an excellent movie to update, would be Rosemary's Baby. That is one of my all time favorites too, but you know they can make that Satan rape scene much sicker. Do you all think I'm twisted now? I just love horror flicks.

But Halloween? That is a classic on so many levels, you just can't do that. And not with Rob Zombie. His movies are ok, but he can't touch a movie like Halloween. Ugh, I'm prepared to hate it! Keep an eye out for more scream awards in the future. I'd like to say it's about time someone started giving awards for my favorite genre!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

The Incredible Shrinking Brain....

I've been in denial for quite some time now, that I'm getting dumber the older I get. I can remember back when I was in school, asking my Mom for help with homework, and she would say she couldn't help. I thought she was just being mean, how can she NOT know the answer?
"listen Mom, a train leaves phoenix traveling 55 mph, at 3pm......" Didn't she learn this in school? Of course she was quick to point out, "that was a looooong time ago". Whatever.

It's true, it's a scientifically proven fact, you do get dumber if you don't exercise your mind. Yes- huh, I saw it on the TeeVee. You lose something like 50,000 brain cells a day after the age of 20 something ( I think 22. See, I'm already dumber since I saw it) That's without killing any with drugs and alchohol. Then you lose way more. So pretty much I'm teetering on the verge of complete idiot. You are suppose to keep the mind alert with learning, and challenging your brain. Crossword puzzles, word searches. Stuff that these days, makes my head ache. I see those things laying around the house that CP does, puzzle books and whatnot. I think, it'll be fun to pick it up and 'help him out'. Psh. I have come to terms with it. I am powerless over my shrinking brain.

I really don't have the patience to learn anymore. And to make matters worse, I think I'm turning dislexic. When I type, I tend to type a few words backwards. Sometimes I spell things phonetically like noze, toze. I'm kinda outraged that this has happened to me because when I was younger I thought I was smart. I guess just like your good looks you have to use it or lose it.

Lost is on tonight! Sayid is coming to rescue the hotness that is Jack. Oh yea, and the other Losties. If you don't watch it, why bother watching television? Obsessed much? I watched it again for the 5th time. Maybe if they would put it on twice a week I wouldn't be forced to re-watch episodes. The most awesome thing is since I'm not working 2 jobs anymore (at least for now), I have so much more room on Tivo to store things. I made a folder for Lost, and there it shall rest until it comes out on DVD. I'm making it my personal goal to learn how to hook it to the DVD burner to keep them forever. It's possible, I just don't know how to do it.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Gag Me With A Spoon, TITMT...

Today's Tell it to me Tuesday question from Janet is: What are your top 10 eighties artists or bands?

Now, we're talkin! It was hard to narrow this down to 10 since most things 80's rock, and there are a ton of awesome one hit wonders to rule out. Who doesn't love the 80's? Well...I have a couple of friends who don't love the 80's but what do they know? Their only missing out on the most fun era ever.

10. Metallica - I'm including Metallica because they were big in the 80's for the stoners. I wasn't that into them back in the day. More like I was forced to listen to them cus my brother was a burn out. (ha ha ha) They scared me, and sorta grew on me. Brace yourselves... unlike most people, I started to like them after their Black album (ohhh blasphemy) and now I appreciate all their music. Their freaking awesome, and I've seen them in concert a couple of times, and they are the best live performance and show I have ever seen. I only put them as #10 cus I didn't truly appreciate them til long after the 80's.

9. Belinda Carlisle - I guess I could also include in this, the Go-Go's. Because they were pretty awesome too, but I really liked her solo stuff. I only got $10 a week allowance and she's one of the albums I spent my hard earned money on.

8. Def Leppard - If any song reminds me of my youth, it's Pour Some Sugar on me. And if any song reminds me of my first love, it's Love Bites. God, they don't make em like they use to!

7. Debbie Gibson - I wasn't one of those retards that dressed like her with the biker shorts under skirts, and that stupid ass hat, and I didn't buy her perfume (but I do know that it was called Electric Youth) but I did like her music. One of the many artists that remind me of skating at the Jackson Skatery.

6. Winger - Too bad I was going to marry Kip Winger. I had his hot ass in leather pants on my wall. Oh baby!

5. Paula Abdul - I played 'Straight Up' on the jukebox so many times I think the people at Peppies would have killed me if they could get away with it.

4. Taylor Dayne - I don't know how I didn't wear out my Taylor Dayne tape.

3. New Kids On The Block (NKOTB) - I don't remember ever again in my lifetime being so fanatacal about someone. Oh wait..... there's still Edwin McCain. Nevermind. So they were the first boys I was obsessed with. Oh oh ohhhhh the right stuff. I cried when they won awards. Seriously, I loved them like everyone else loved them. Donnie was my favorite. Hotness.

2. Prince - Who can remember when it seemed impossible to reach 2 thousand zero zero, when the party would be over, oops out of time? He has a billion awesome hits, and unlike my #1 choice I did get to see Prince in concert with my friend Bethie a few years ago. To me, Little Red Corvette was bad to me 'baby your much too fast'. Now? I request of play Pussy Control whenever I am out! My Mom wouldn't let us watch 'Purple Rain' and when I was finally old enough to see it on my own, I still don't know what all the fuss was about.

1. Madonna - I've loved Madonna for as long as I can remember. I was 8 when she broke into fame. I remember my sister had a poster of her on her bedroom door (along with Prince when he was Prince) and all her O ring bracelets on a nail just under the poster. How cool was that? I wanted to be Madonna for Halloween back then, and you wouldn't believe what stupid outfit my mom put me in. It was just a regular crop top and pants. But I got to wear the bad ass lace bow in my hair, and my sisters lace gloves, and bracelets, and of course...lots of make up, wild hair and the mole. We have pictures of me being a mummy, but nothing cool like Madonna. My first tape was Madonna. And the rest is history. Nothing she can ever do will make me dislike her. I love all that is Madonna.

Evita rocked dudes!

Where are you gonna catch me this weekend? 80's night at the Beir Haus. Holla!

Monday, October 09, 2006

Massacre Monday....

Happy Thanksgiving Canadians! At least, that's what my Hello Kitty calendar says it is today. It's also Columbus Day. It's my last week before I have to pay my taxes or who knows what they'll do to me. Yeah! I love to pay taxes!

It's also my last week in my current office at work. I'm moving by the end of the week. I'm really depressed about it. I hate change. I've only moved 15 times since I've worked here, but I'm really not happy about my new area all alone at the end of the building. Sure, I'll have a window, but what's a window when you dislike your environment? I gotta work on that change thing.

Saturday I spent the day cleaning out the garage. It might seem like I just did that, and you're right, I did. I had to put all the lawn furniture, and the air conditioners in there though so I had to do it yet again. Now my car will fit in there. Since, it's going to start frosting and then the snow will fly before you know it. Brrrr. Speaking of snow, my electric bill was almost cut in half since I got that new line run for my dryer. Obviously it was sucking all the power! Oh yea, I also watched Lost again. For...the fourth time. Shut up, I love it!

I went to see the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre flick with Kat later that night. Loved it. She also bought my movie ticket, so it was like going on a real live date! And I didn't have to put out or anything either! It was awesome! The movie explained how the family got to be so freaking insane in the 2003 Massacre. Lots of blood and gore, and sensless killing. Awesome! There was 5 teenage girls that got up and left cus they couldn't hang. Lightweights. I highly recommend it. It was stressful, like The Hills Have Eyes. It's the best time of year for horror movies. Next one I have to see is Saw III!

Guess what they previewed at the beginning? HORRORFEST! Me and Kat sooo wanna go! Where is the closest fucking theater? Cleveland. Cleveland is a 40 minute drive. They suck pretty bad. Horrorfest is 8 never before seen movies for 1 weekend only. It's a horror fan's dream. Sometimes living in a small town really sucks.

I went to have a couple drinks at the bowling alley with my brother and Kat. We were the only ones there for a while, so the bartender let us have the remote for the TV. It's like the equivilent to sitting in first class or something. Some people Kat works with came to kickit later on. I also noticed that I had a buttload of salt in my hair. Kat did it. I salted her hair first, so it was payback. Then, we put the salt shaker in the back of the cock eyed toilet tank. We're so easily amused. Some asshole made my friend sad so we left. The bartender said who's driving? I said we're walking to the restaurant! The bar closed early any how, at like 1, so we went to the restaurant where my brother works and he made us some food.

Kat passed out and I put a bunch of stuff in her pants and her purse. Kids toys. Like a banana, and car. Messing with your drunk friends is a lot of fun. I had Fried ravioli's and pizza. Now, that's the best thing ever when you are drunk. Not so much when you are watching what you eat. I was bloated all day Sunday. I got home at 4 a.m. and took advantage of my fiance, so that should count as a work out. Sorta.
I bought a new diamond nose screw a week ago on ebay. This one is flat, the one I have now sits up on a mounting, and it's yellow gold. I want white gold. I'm impatient and I want my shit!

Friday, October 06, 2006

Baby You Can Drive My Car.

So Meredith on Grey's Anatomy had the ultimate fantasy last night. Two men in bed. Talk about hot. Only, skip the fantasy for me and get straight to the real life shit. I could use it right about now. CP told me last night, the only reason he hasn't left me yet, is because he knows I can make it on my own. I didn't get a because "I love you", "I'd miss you", or an "I'm a general asshole who can't get his shit together"...I got the "you're so independant I can't let you be". See what happens when you talk? Shit comes out you didn't expect to hear. Fine. I'll take that. That boy needs some serious help, and only he can do it. Nuff about the shithole that is my life as of late.

Since I love the animals, this latest find is just awesome. You can get a driver's liscense for your pet! This is the kind of shit I need to be famous for. Seriously. If I didn't have so many pets, they'd all have one of their very own. I'm not so sure that my pets would make good drivers though. My dog has dry eye, and ulcers on her eyes as a result, therefore making her partially blind. Bunnies, well, they have shitty peripheral vision, so they would likely sideswipe someone, or change lanes without being able to check traffic. And the cats? Remember toonces the driving cat on SNL?

When I'm down, one of my favorite things to do is go to the Merriam Webster website, and look up stupid words, then listen to the computer say them. Nothing makes me laugh more than making a computer say cocksucker, poop, and dickhead over and over again in such a serious voice. I'm cracking up just thinking about it. Probably the only thing more fun, is calling your friends, and leaving them voicemails of the computer saying the words. I tried to do this to Kat at lunch time, and she answered her fucking phone. ASS! At least we had a good laugh. Have I ever mentioned how easily I am amused? And, do you know what I'm going to be doing today?

Last night I skipped step aerobics as planned in an effort to shed my ass faster. I walked. Yippee skippy. I also did the treadmill sideways for a while. I'm not sure why, but I saw the Girls Next Door doing it, and since they pose nude, I figured they know what they are doing. It was really hard first off, to not fall on your face, and secondly OUCH. I really felt that in my hips and thighs though. Awesome. I'm glad I did it, since I broke my own rules, and weighed myself last night. If I gained a few pounds, I could have a perfectly healthy other person living inside of me. I think I've been in denial about that possibility for a long time. That makes me want to puke. I'm starting two-a-day workouts this weekend. I did it before, I can do it again. Two people. You heard me right.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

How The Neighbors Pissed Me Off During Lost...

Apparently my neighbor is an alchoholic. No, not you Tayray, although I did think it was you outside making a ruckus last night. I told everyone, don't talk to me at 9:00. Lost is on, the world stops for Lost. But some jack off's were outside yelling. I did what any self respecting neighbor would do, and I paused the TV and turned off my lights so I could spy on them. A tactic I learned from Katie while spying on her gay neighbors. (not that anything is wrong with being gay, but back in high school, that was some interesting shit!)

I just heard "stop drinking" "don't go" "why don't you stop drinking?""don't leave" "why won't you quit?" and a bunch of slamming doors. I also heard their kid saying "daddy" and generally being a whiny kid. I dunno wtf is going on with that dude. Some chick comes every morning and drops a kid off, and then he comes at night to pick it up. I had my windows closed and I still heard the altercation. Next time, shut the fuck up while Lost is on!

***Lost info and spoilers skip to *** if you are one of the10 people who don't like Lost**

Ok, so as soon as Lost was over, I pulled a Locke and said....."I'm gonna need to watch that again" and so...I did! I also rewound the damn beginning in order to see that the book they were reading was Carrie by Stephen King. Which, I find amusing seeing how Stephen King writes a back cover story in Entertainment Weekly and it's often about Lost. Shout out to the King I suppose. Carrie had telekenesis....sort of like Walt. Ok, so I about shit myself when I saw Henry/Ben and Goodwin, and Ethan come out of those houses. All I could think of was Walt telling Michael last season about the others "They're pretending." Why, yes they are.

Was Jack's dad really at an AA meeting? I'm thinking that was something to do with the others. I have a feeling about that...Could be nothing but it could be something he signed Jack up for, to get taken to the island? With this show, you never know! The find of the night? There is a girl in the cell with Jack when he is in the aquarium. I didn't see it in the show, but in the galleries on the official ABC website. He is laying there, and a little girl is with him. What. The. Fuck.

And how about those animal cages they put Sawyer and Kate in? If you did any of the Lost Experience this summer, you know that the Dharma initiative did some testing with a 100 year old orangutan (sp?) named Joop. And that the 'numbers' have to do with the end of human exisitance. Remember Walt saying "they make me take tests?" I wonder if that was referring to what Kate was going to have to do for 2 weeks to make her life miserable? And that Zeke dude told Kate she isn't 'his type'? Kate is every man's type. Unless you're gay. Or prefer animals. I felt pretty sorry for Jack this episode. He really fucked up his life with Sarah. And my heart melted when all he wanted to know, was if the love of his life was happy now. There is speculation in the message boards that Sarah's affair is an 'other'. That came up this summer.

How about when the earthquake happened in the beginning? We all know that was when Desmond didn't push the button. But didn't the others seem like it was business as usual? They all looked right up to the sky and waited for a plane to show up. They didn't seem the least bit suprised that one was crashing on their island, did they? And...should we feel sorry for Kate, Jack, and Sawyer? Or, have they in a sense been rescued? The bears, the other mentioned are obviously the polar bears....and that means their really smart polar bears. And the shark in the ocean? WTF? What did they inject them with? Will Kate be pregnant? All I know is, hurry up Wednesday!

***End of obsessive Lost topic***

Other than the best night in television, last night was not exciting. I went to aerobics, after having a non-fun discussion with CP and missing an extra 30 minutes of workout as a result. Then he wasn't home when I came home and that was nice, I got my nightly crap done, fed the animals, fed myself. The man told me that he has anxiety latley. Normally, I wouldn't make light of such a thing, because just about everyone I know suffers from some sort of mental ailment. But he's using it as an excuse for why he is a money disaster. Why he doesn't want to talk. Why everything. He says he is taking tylenol pm for it. Because it works. I said um, I think that makes you sleep, and if you really have something wrong you should see a Dr. I really can't believe that a year ago at this time I was so happy, on my road to being engaged. My, how things change.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Ready To Get Lost?...

Don't you love our president? He does useless things, like changing the Daylight Savings Time Dates. Why? I think he wants to pretend to care about energy or some shit. So now in March we switch back again, and screw up our systems. What could it possibly change? We can be more like the Europeans? I only like this if we start getting 2 hour lunches like they do. Otherwise, he can shut the fuck up.

What can snap a girl out of a slump better than her favorite obsession making a return to the TV screen? Maybe some hot sex, but then you gotta be in the mood for that too. And I'm in the mood for no such thing. Lost is on tonight! I can hardly wait. I heard they are having like 6 episodes then a long break with a cliff hanger, so watch for me to lose my mind in February if this happens. My second obsession is slowly starting to be Heroes. It reminds me in a way of The 4400. It's got bigger actors in it though. And it's way better than it sounds, I almost didn't Tivo it, but I'm glad I did! That show is pretty awesome! I get the same feeling like I don't want it to end. Why must I love TV so much?

I got my hair done finally. Nevermind that I had to wait 1/2 hour over my appointment time to get started. Some freak took 15 minutes to schedule her next appointment. I know I may tend to exxagerate, but that is the fucking truth.

I sent my friend Katie, (who hasn't jumped on the myspace bandwagon) some links to people we went to school with, for shits and giggles. She in turn, found one of my ex boyfriends on there. This is the guy, that after my last break up, I found on match.com and sent him a message simply to chat, and he totally dissed me. WHAT EVERRRR. He isn't worthy of my smiling face on his friends list. While he was a good lay, that's about all I can say about him. And in my own defense, he was one of the first few select losers I ever slept with, so he might not even be THAT good.

I think the panty Gods have smiled on me, since bitching that Victoria's Secret had no draws in my size last weekend.... I got a coupon for a free panty in the mail. Free. Panty. $10 value. Love it.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Rock Me..Tell it to me tuesday.....

Today's tell it to me Tuesday brought to you by Janet, is

What are your top 10 seventies artists or bands?

Well, fucked if I know. I was born in 1975 so I'm gonna wing it here, and rely on the internet. I searched out some bands and was suprised at what I found! Some of my beloved 80's bands got their starts in the 70's. Awesome!

10. Bob Seger. I remember my mom had his 8 tracks. She had an 8 track player in the car. How bad ass is that? My all time favorite Bob Seger song, is 'Against the Wind'. He's making a comeback, didya know that?

9. I like Blondie, because you can't listen to Blondie, and not get up and disco dance. Not that I really know how to disco dance, but I've watched it on TV.

8. Styx. This was a favorite of my sisters. Mr. Roboto. I remember that album, and how it was like a whole story. The kids today think that stupid band My Chemical Romance, is on the cutting edge with that shit. (King Diamond did this back in the day too, only his was way freakier!) And I can still belt out a Styx song, I have their greatest hits. They rock. The best of times, is when I'm alone with youuuuu.........

7. Chicago. Who knew they were from the 70's? Probably everyone but me. Still, obviously they were pretty good to stick around for so long. Although, I think by the time I was appreciating music, they weren't a band anymore.

6. Eagles. I remember when I was young "Hotel California" was like a demon song to me. It was kinda creepy, cus of not being able to leave, and stabbing it with their steely knives, and not being able to kill the beast. Then there was the prostitute. When you are little, that's a pretty big creep factor.

5. Journey. Some day love will find you. Break those chains that bind you. You know I still love you, though we touched and went our separate ways. If he ever hurts you, true love wont desert you. One night will remind you how we touched and went our separate ways. Need I say more?

4. Queen. I don't think I knew queen until Wayne's World, but what does that matter? They have some pretty sweet tunes.

3. Meatloaf. This was my first grown up concert I went to by myself. You either love him or you hate him, and I loved him. He reminds me of Billy Joel in that the style of music didn't get old for me. I can still jam out to Meatloaf! Favorites? Two out of three, and Objects in the rearview mirror. Plus he was in Rocky Horror, which makes him even cooler.

2. Jimmy Buffet. I pick Jimmy Buffet because I enjoy a good Buffet concert. Any excuse to dress goofy, and get wasted on fruity drinks, is a damn good reason to pick an artist as a favorite. He isn't a favorite as in I don't listen to him other than once a year (and at Cheeseburger in Paradise), but you never meet an asshole at a Buffet concert. Everyone is friends. So, when you fall down the hill and break something, there is always a person to help you up. Plus he loves the manatees. I too....love the manatees. I'm in his save the manatee club, are YOU?

1. Billy Joel. I still love Billy Joel today. His style of music never ages to me. Since I still love him, and can sing the most of his songs, he is my #1. For the longest time, Always a woman, Goodnight Saigon. I liked his older stuff more than say, We Didn't Start The Fire.

What are some of your favorites? Can you remember back that far?

Monday, October 02, 2006


I hope I don't depress you. I literally feel like someone opened me up and let all my air out. I have no desire to simply 'be' right now. I have no idea why. But what I do know is that it's damned annoying. I spent a lot of time laying around and not having the energy to get up and do anything. I watched a lot of Dr. 90210 and I might be depressed because I want a boob job. And Lipo. I watched this woman go from a FF to a D she had her implants removed. It was pretty sick because her skin was so stretched out from the ridiculous size she had. The Dr. was able to fix it and make her look normal.

Maybe I am depressed because once again CP has overdrawn his bank account, and in turn fucked me out of his half of the bill money. Did I just say that? Oh yes, I did. On top of that, he wrote me a bad check that bounced for last months bills. I've about had it with the fact that he is a complete and total financial fuck up. So, yet again he is direct depositing his pay into my account. How many times do you let a person screw up before you decide their not right for you? Is that a cruel thing to say? This is the final time we're trying this. I'd rather live alone than with someone I have to treat like a child. If I wanted kids, I'd have one of my own. Not adopt a 37 year old one.

I got up bright and early Saturday morning and went to Bath & Body for a beauty cravings party with Bubba and Kat. Our freebies this time were, a pumpkin shaped soap dispenser, a full sized lotion (I got sensual Amber), and a hand lotion or body wash. I also got enough samples to last me another month or so. Love the free samples. Some girls there, didn't even KNOW you could get samples. Newbies. That's half the fun!

I bought some Dirt for my hair. It's my second Jonathon product. I also have Redo. I love to pretend I'm rich and famous. My only purchases were that, and some Caudalie grape water in an aerosol can for my face. Laugh it up, but it feels fantastic. They don't sell the Evian in a spray can anymore. Assholes. They have the cutest line of Hello Kitty stuff and I carried this thing around for a while, but it was $25.00.

After a trip to Victoria's Secret (who was out of every style of their large panties....believe that) we went to Bob Evans for breakfast. We talked about men, and why they are so annoying.

Me and CP got some movies Saturday night..Just my Luck with Lindsey Lohan, was a really cute movie. Anopolis, Benchwarmers, and Stay Alive were pretty fucking retarded. We got a raincheck for the Lake House because it wasn't in, so now if that sucks it was free.

I'm off to wallow in self pity. I have no idea why but it gives me something to do.