"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Caught Between a Rock and...Two Gay Landlords...

Hey, I'm all about equal rights. I love - love, and I don't care who ya love, long as the love is real! Who am I to judge? I have more dates with my dog than with real human beings!

That being said, my landlords are the super cutest couple. I may have been known to peep out the window to watch one or both of them cutting my grass shirtless from time to time too. They love animals, and didn't charge me for my menagerie, so they are #1 in my book.

Cut to me watering my garden via milk jugs in my sweaty workout clothes, sweating bullets.. (I really need to buy a hose) when the landlord I don't write my check to, or  see unless there is something broken, or the grass needs mowed... pulls in, and asks me if I got my mail.

I hadn't. 

He was there to install a second mailbox on our porch where we deposit our rent checks. He asked if I could split the rent between him and the other landlord, because they broke up last year, and it would be much easier this way.

Dagger to my heart. Whose gonna be cutting my grass now? Ok, I'm done being selfish

He gave me a new rental agreement, which was just my original agreement, with his name written next to the other guys name. He said he was gonna call "the other guy" (whom I've been writing checks to for the 3 years that I've lived here) and tell him he talked to the tenants, and we were splitting the rent now.

Ehhh...I sure hope this is legit. I kind of want to call the other landlord, but it feels like gossiping. I would think that the landlord I mainly dealt with would be the one asking me to make a change....right?

And, he said to call if I need anything, but who am I suppose to call? What if calling one is wrong? Shouldn't I get something new in writing stating these things?

I hate nasty break ups.

I hate being in the middle of things even more. I am a total peacemaker!

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

I'm Still Trying to Move On...

It's taking me a lot of time for me to get over my ex. Like, 3 years long. Riddled with seeing him off and on here and there, and half-heartedly trying to date a couple of people. I was holding on to the delusion that things were as I perceived them. But, they weren't that way at all.

Yes, I thought he was really sweet to me, and made me feel like a million bucks when we were together, and I'd never felt that kind of connection before. But it took all this time to realize....he just didn't feel the same way as I did.

But, actions speak louder than words. If you really love and adore someone, you don't cheat on them. And you don't say you are going to move in with them, and start to move your things in, only to take them all back home while your girlfriend is at work, and leave her a note.


So, I diverted my attention to me. Best decision ever!  I lost a lot of weight, and accomplished so many fitness firsts!

But what I gained was priceless. For the first time in my 37 years I have decided I'm done with settling! And Being single is far more attractive than being unhappy.

And, maybe I've  finally met someone worth mentioning..I still don't know where things will lead. But for the first time in a lot of years, and a lot of online dating mishaps, I am excited about a new prospect.

And all it took was letting go.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks...

They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. But I beg to differ.

 Mr. Magoo, the shih-poo puppy mill rescue lived for 4 years in a cage with no human love. He is 7 or 8 or so, we really don't know since most of his teeth have rotted and had to be pulled due to neglect.

 In his three years with me, I have taught him to eat and drink out of a bowl, go outside to potty, walk on a leash, go up stairs (but not so good at down), play chase, fetch toys, and sit, and lay down. He knows people aren't bad, and he enjoys being petted, playing with his kitty siblings, and belly rubs!

 Our newest venture is learning to "wait" for treats. This is him showing off.

 I love that silly "second hand dog" with all my heart.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

My Compassionate Heart....

Tuesday, on my normal route to work thru the city, I came upon some slowed traffic. The closer I got, I saw what at first appeared to be smoke billowing around an SUV, I thought someone's radiator must've blown. When I crept closer, I saw it was not smoke.

It was fur.

Someone struck a deer. Not the norm on the city streets at all. I only saw the horrible image for about 2.2 seconds, as the doe struggled to get up, only to fall again, frantically trying to find safety, but obviously not going to live.

I immediately shielded my line of vision with my hand, so I could pass by, and just as instantly, out of nowhere...I started to sob. I have never seen a hurt animal in the flesh, intentional or otherwise. Especially now living in the city.

And I couldn't stop crying. My heart ached for that deer.When I got to my desk. I kept sobbing.

When the girls came to talk to me and saw I was upset, I felt a bit stupid saying I was fine, and telling them what had happened. But I can't apologize for being me. I was really shaken.

Yes, it was "just a deer". One of millions that are hit by cars, or shot by hunters on a daily basis. But to me, it was much more than that, it was a wounded soul. I thought about it all night. When I went to sleep, I prayed to the universe for peace from the image of the deer, so that I could put it to rest.

Then, this morning I woke up early to let out the dog. And I saw the most beautiful sight!

Look who chose my backyard to take a rest in! A beautiful deer!

I believe in the universe, and karma, and how everything happens for a reason. I knew deep down, that this wasn't random. It was an answer to my prayer. This deer was there to make my heart feel better.

I left home feeling a sense of peace, and rightness in the world!

And I had the best day! 

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Feeling Like a Bad-Ass...

One of the reasons I love semi-private training is because you get so much personal attention, and motivation.

After winning my first "boot camp buddy of the day" award last week, the instructor used me as fuel for the other participants, saying I was "the one to watch, I'm the reigning champion". I felt the pressure, and it made me work harder. I took 3 more classes without winning a title....but then...

My second coveted toy soldier!

I won this time, because I took the class the night before, and the one the next day, and made it the whole class being strong, and not giving up. He doesn't know yet, that if it were offered every day...I'd be there.

Who knew a stupid toy soldier toy would make someone feel so awesome?

I also found a delicious "clean" vegan protein, thanks to Pinterest! I made lentil "burgers", and I'm in love with them! So much so, that I have to stop myself from eating too many! One is enough, they are filling with some veggies, but they are soooo goooood!

The flavor is very comparable to a good veggie burger, but home made, and you know what you put into them!

They do not taste as good after freezing them, as they do fresh, but you will have that I suppose.

Lentil burgers:
1C uncooked lentils
1C brown rice (not instant)
1.5C carrots finely grated (I shred them in the food processor)
1/2tsp garlic
1.5C Oatmeal (I used quick oats the first time, seemed to work fine)
1tsp salt
1 onion finely grated (I shred in the food processor with the carrots)

Cook rice and lentils in 4C water on low heat for 45min covered.

Mix with all other ingredients.

Let cool.

Make into 8 patties, brown over medium heat 6 minutes per side. Mine took longer than 6 minutes, so keep an eye on them.

The recipe said they are 130 cal each, but I find it hard to believe...so I am guessing them at about 200 each, they make hefty "burgers".


Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Cats Are Assholes....

We had such a beautiful weekend in NE Ohio. I spent time digging up a flower bed out back, and getting my bird feeders, and bird bath in place.

I have an enclosed back porch, so my 14yo (favorite...shhh) cat Fizzgig sat at the doorway and enjoyed watching all the bird activity.

Around 10pm I thought...I havn't seen Fizzgig in a while. I searched the usual sleepy/hidey spots the cats have.. no Fizzgig.

Panic ensued.

Did she escape when I wasn't looking?

I didn't sleep all night. I was up every hour looking for her in the basement, and any other room, equipped with my whisker lickins bag...even out in the yard calling for her. No go....she was missing.

When I finally had to start getting ready for work, I remembered how about 6 or so years back, Fizzgig had escaped for a week, and after flyers, and "cat traps" she showed up right outside of my garage. So I went to my trash can outside my back door, and kicked the can, and what should emerge? Fizzgig.

Yea, I'm pissed at you for letting me escape all night. 

I'm glad my miss Fizzy was found quickly, but I didn't sleep. And now she's pissed at me because she escaped and didn't come back in on my many trips to the yard to find her. 

Fizzgig lives with 3 other cats 1 of which is horribly mean, and violent. She doesn't understand mean-ness. She's just an adorable orange-tabby persian. She knows nothing but love and pampering. I feared for her well-being all night. 

The bottom line is....cat's are freaking assholes

Saturday, May 04, 2013

Even Small Accomplishments, are Great Ones!....

This whole vegan thing is pretty hard. Not just giving up meat and dairy, but all the things that contain meat and dairy that you never thought did!

For instance, I have one cheat meal a week, and I was so excited to go to Chipotle because I could get a vegetarian bowl, and have BEANS! But I found out the beans are cooked with bacon. I was very appreciative of the workers to point it out to me, but I was also disappointed. Because of my strenuous workout routine...I was really looking forward to some extra protein in my meal, so I got cheese. I felt like a quitter, but I am not going to dwell on it.

I have been hungry. Really, really hungry, and struggling with my calorie count, because the vegan proteins are so high in calories, and making up for it with fruits/veggies make me hungry just about every hour. I have to plan more snacks to help curb hunger pangs. Next week I'll be better prepared.

I'm also having a hard time being a "clean eater" and eating all the processed vegan proteins. Unless I have dried beans and legumes that I prepare myself, I am really at a loss for what else to eat that isn't "processed".  I have had all my nutrition dead on for so long, that now I have to branch out. A challenge.

 My first attempt at a vegan meal was whole grain pasta, with tofurky italian sausage ,spinach, tomato, and I melted tofutti garlic and chives cream cheese in my noodles. I used a small plate so it looked like more. This is only 3/4c noodles, and half of a tofurky link. Total score taste-wise, it tasted like the real deal..... but the calories, and processed food part, worried me. Turned out, my noodles contained egg whites....another loss. 

For dessert I had tofutti chocolate "ice cream" and a sliced strawberry. The ice cream was just the same taste-wise as real ice cream, and the same calorie wise too. The calories scared me. I'd been having Arctic Zero ice cream, which contains whey...so it is not vegan. The calories in that are amazing!

In the end, for a week, I accomplished a lot. I'll get there eventually. I'm going to allow myself the ability to fail from time to time, because I'm going to try to do this meal by meal. Small accomplishments! I may have had cheese this week, and egg whites in my noodles, but I didn't have an animal protein for 12 out of my 15 meals for this short amount of time. I consider that a win! 

In other news, I joined my gyms new bootcamp program, which is an hour of high energy athletic interval training. My first class, I was picked out of the 6 girls as "boot camp buddy of the day". (You pair up in two's)

When I was announced winner he said it was, because of my perfect, controlled form, and my refusal to give up. (the instructor spends a lot of 1:1 time with you in the smaller classes, and offers you "modifications" in case you are tired and I never took one single modification, I pushed thru)

Sure, my prize was just a small toy soldier. But I was recognized in front of the group and this little guy made me feel Strong! 

I'm going to take all my little accomplishments as they come.