"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Well, If your drunk enough to Crap Yourself...

It wasn't me. I know I might like to have some wine each night, but that doesn't make me a drunk. Right? No, I entered the police report from Monday night, you know the one where I was bombarded with people? The drunk old man a.k.a "grandpa" couldn't stand, and blew a .19 BAL. When I had to go back to the booking room I saw the cute cop (remember, I'm not blind) hand him some paper towels and tell him to clean himself up. Apparently, it was because he shit himself. Now, I've been so drunk that I've puked on myself, I have even peed in public, or a couple times, on myself. But shitting? You have to be pretty damn drunk to crap yourself. And it happened in transit to the police station. I think it's safe to say that there is never a dull moment. I met a new OIC last night (that's officer in charge to you common civilians)

Did I mention how a guy we know got his car broken into? And had some prescription sunglasses and a roll of duct tape taken? I entered his police report, he really listed the duct tape with a value of .99 cents. So he's been investigating it daily. Looking up the type of shoe prints in the snow tracks, and yesterday he took in a portfolio of information about this special Nike shoe. Working at the police station has it's perks. I also found out my former boss.....(my friends will find this hard to believe) was in the computer for a road rage case. Yea, my former boss! Road Rage. I knew she was too nice, she had to have a dark side. She lives practically next door to my second job, so I know it was her address.

What do I hate about my job, besides working after work? Gum. I find gum to be one of the most foul things ever invented. I don't know why or how my hatred for the shit started, but it did, and it's real. I can't stand the smell, the way people look or sound chewing it, the way it sounds when people pop it or slosh it around with their spit in their mouths. I don't like the packaging, or even touching anything I know the packaging has touched. Or, touching things I know someone chewing it has touched. It totally disgusts me, and I am not afraid to admit it. It takes me forever to not be grossed out about kissing someone who has had it in their mouth. People don't seem to get that either. I know my ex husband thought it was funny once to hide it from me, and put it in my mouth. You would have thought I was on fire the way I screamed.

I don't know why I'm like that, and I don't care to know. I know that I am, and you should stay the fuck away from me with that stuff in or out of your mouth. The girl I've been training with, always chews it. What's worse, I share a common computer and desk with everyone. I have to touch things she's touched. AND, she is she is forever taking the shit out of her mouth, and putting it places. Like, on a pop can. Or a water bottle lid. Or a chip bag. Then after an hour or so, she'll put it back in her mouth. I swear, I could puke. Why is this acceptable? What if
I started half eating my food? I could chew up some hamburger real nice, and pop it out of my mouth and start leaving it lay around for people to look at, and when I feel like it, I can put it back in my mouth and finish chewing on it. Seriously people, this is like the same thing! GROSS!

It makes my skin crawl. Now that I know she does that, nothing is safe. I have to be one of those freaks who carries around clorox wipes, and clean everything. I really don't care how I look, at least I wont be contaminated by gum. Ick. It's not funny to tease me with either. I seriously could explode, and I wont be held responsible for my actions.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

The Cold Causes An Uprise In Criminal Behavior...

It was sure a busy night at the Po Po station! Lot's of criminals. First, the girl that's been in
training with me wasn't there, so it was just me, when my trainer went to lunch...like it will be when I'm on a shift alone. I didn't like it. I had someone from Sears coming to sign theft charge papers, and they told me, just give him these to sign. Not "wait until a notary comes in" so I let him sign the papers and leave. Then I see the notary signature spot. Motherfucker.

I had 2 fender benders, and a keyed car waiting in the lobby to file reports, and every single cop out on the road, or in the booking room. Some guy was waiting 2 hours for a cop to come let him in his car. He was stranded at the diamond store at the mall. As if that's the worst place he could be stranded? Buy something for someone and quit yer bitchin! He called all the time pissed off.

There were criminals in the back. They brought two girls in for shoplifting at Kohl's. "Combative female shoplifters" they were called on the call system. It took 3 officers to get them out of the store. First I had to run back to take the officer her paperwork. The girls were hysterical. On the screen, the officer was just going about her business as if there weren't 2 screaming women in the room, but in the room it was mayhem. They were crying and screaming "I knew we shouldn't have stole those checks" hmmm...seems there was more than shoplifting with these chicks. Then the detective on the case asked me to pull the original paperwork for a previous charge on one of the girls. Check fraud.

Meanwhile, I have a girl filling out a police report in the report room, and had to call the
officer in charge of that case thru dispatch to come back in to meet with her. The officer called in to have the detective do it for him. I'm trying to find the original paperwork for the detective, answer the phone, let people in the door (it's auto-locked) and handle the people in the lobby, who were pissed they had been waiting 20 minutes for an officer to fill out a report. I had yet another person in the lobby, this made four, and I called dispatch and the girl asked if anyone had even taken the original report yet. I said no, she's still here. Then when I hung up, the original report decided to leave, so I had to call dispatch back and cancel that call. I was put on hold. I thought that only happened in the movies, but sure as shit she answered the phone and said Hold please!

Then the officer with the "combative female shoplifters" called to see if I could watch her prisoners so she could let the male officer watching them get back out on the street, to you know, hassel drivers and whatnot since they were so behind. (remember the poor guy locked out of his car for 2 hours?) So that meant I had to keep an eye on them on the TV screen. They were both handcuffed to benches, not like they were going anywhere. But, I didn't want to be the one that let the shoplifters escape.

Then, here comes the guy from Kohl's to sign his charges against the combative female shoplifters. For some reason the phone doesn't work right in the booking room, so I'd call.. see the officer on the TV go for the phone, and it would go dead, and she'd hang up. After a few times, l she stopped answering the phone. I had to leave my post, and run back and tell
her Kohl's dude was here, and run back in case the phones rang, or people needed in.

On my way back, I see another boy in the hallway, and a really old man, stumbling around with another officer. He blew a .19 on the breathalizer. I think the legal limit is .01 or something. Needless to say he was drunk. He was on the road running curbs, and hitting people. A concerned citizen was on with dispatch following him earlier, and I didn't even get to hear it all cus I was busy! It would've been a fun call to listen to.

The detective wants me to make a copy, and have I found that report yet? Then, I get a stupid ass call "is there a law against having a space heater in an office". What the fuck do I know? I told her I think that would be up to the individual employer. Logic tells me, space heater's aren't illegal, so I made my own deduction. Then she's like "thank you thats all I needed" in a way
that made me think she was going to tell her employer the POLICE said she could have her stupid ass heater.

Then the officer who is a notary comes in, so I have to take the Kohl's dude back to booking to have him sign papers. Then I take the Sear's paperwork and tell him that I saw the guy sign them, I wasn't told to wait for a notary. On my way back, I see the old drunk dude, puking in the "detox" cell. The detox cell is just a concrete room with a hole in the floor to puke in. The officer I think is cute (I'm not blind am I?) was handing him paper towels and telling him to clean himself up.

When I get back to the front, there is a woman there to pick up the boy "And ONLY the boy" her words, that was with the drunk old man. Who turned out to be 'Grandpa' and she was the boy's mother. She was yelling at the boy as they left, but I had to answer the stupid phone and not eavesdrop. The caller wanted to tell me someone was offering her a free entertainment center near the mall. Man, take that shit as a free gift, and don't bother me with your phone call, the police are busy!

Then, when the lady on lunch came back....not a soul came in, and the phone only rang once. I went home and went to bed, directly after a bath. I was freaking pooped. I don't feel good, and I'm so tired of talking at the end of the day from my regular job. I can't wait until this week is over, and I don't have to work thru the week a second job.

Friday I get to work 16 hours. No one call me Friday or Saturday. You might be hurt. I can't turn my ringer off cus I need the alarm. I have to try to sleep before working Friday night, and Sat I'm staying up to make it to the bank at 9 am so I'll be up about 26 hours or so.
I work 8a-5p. Then 11p-7a. For $8.25 an hour? Is it worth it? Um, we're going to see about that. I'm not so sure I should be working midnights for $8.25. You know I work thru a temp service, and they pay the temp service more than we make, if they paid people a decent wage I bet the turnover would die down. Assholes.

Friday, January 26, 2007

My Big Fish Story...

So we remember I live atop a grand hill, right? Of course it snowed and iced, and even though Tayray had to call and harass the landlord to have it plowed, it was still icy when I got home from work, and I saw Tayray parked next door in this landscaper's lot. I tried to park next to her, and I got stuck, couldn't go back or forwards. I had to truck it up the hill in the snow in my work clothes, luckily Tayray's man (Who I'm calling TM from now on) was home, so they came down and pushed me free.

I made it to work at the police station, where my ex-husbands (not so little anymore) cousin came in to file a police report. Her purse was stolen from her car at the Olive Garden. Note to everyone....there is a purse snatcher in the Belden Village/Lake Cable area, taking them from cars, and people. Each night we get several reports of this.

Anyway, I thought...I know this girl. I knew it was his cousin, and when she gave her name, that confirmed it. She was like 9 or 10 or something when we last were together. Now, she is driving, and working! Her mom was a rotten bitch too, but we won't go there.

Small world! The stinking trainee that came in, and kept begging for us to work the wknd, got us wknd hours. I don't want to freaking work the wknd. Now I have to go in tomorrow.
So I trot my butt home and CP said he'd be over when I got home, so I just go for it up the driveway vroooooooooom. I'm sliding around the whole way up, and I make it to the almost very top, and I'm spinning tires. Not going anywhere, but yet at an incline that I knew I could start sliding from at any moment.

So, I put the brake on and call Tayray, luckily TM was still over. He comes out. I'm
like, "I have no idea what the hell to do without wrecking". He told me to go back down backwards. I said "ummm, no thanks, can you do it?" So he said to put my car in park, I said won't it slide? He said just try it. I put it in park. Foot off the brake, it's not moving. Yay.
So, then I get out of the car for him to get in and I'm out and away from my car, and THEN it starts to slide down the driveway! Gaining momentum. There are 3 things my car could hit. The very deep ditch, a telephone pole, or the people across the street's house. I flipped out, he yells "get in the car get in the car!" In my effort to try to get in the car, the door smacks me in the mouth, (which fucking hurt)

In retrospect, the look on TM's face was priceless. I get in the car and yell "what do I do?" TM said put on the brake! I couldn't find the brake at first! I get it on and then my car turns sideways, and came within inches of hitting the telephone pole wires. Luckily, he got my car up with no incident, some spinning tires, but he didn't get stuck like I did.

Today, my lip feels like it has a bubble on it, and it bothers me. It doesn't look bad but it freaking hurts. My lips hurt real bad.

CP had to drive my car down for me this morning. I tell you what, it's getting really old contending with a hill. It hasn't even snowed much at all, and you can't keep the damn thing clear? C'mon! It's like a freaking battle to come and go!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Importance is Not Important To Me...

I have nothing important to say. If you think about it. I am not sure that I ever do. So, business as usual. Awesome. Too bad it snowed. Like, for real snow. None of that, dusting of the grass shit we've had a couple times this winter. We have coverage. I'm going to have to take a picture of my driveway so you can understand what me and Tayray are faced with in the winter.

I went on my lunch yesterday and got my oil changed, and my radiator flushed. You should have seen my antifreeze. It was pale pink. It's suppose to be fleurescent orange. Nice. I forgot last winter they told me to flush it and I never did. Whoopsie. So now, she's good to go in the freezing cold. I'm poor, but it's way cheaper than buying a new car. I lost 2 cars to radiator problems. Never getting it flushed. That is my advice to everyone. Get your radiator flushed. You'll thank me some day.

Last night at the police station...they called in a officer to go shoot a deer. It was hit by a car and half dead. It made my heart sink. Ugh. And they called the one with no compassion too. But when he got there he said it went off into the woods and he didn't get to it in time. They call someone to come get the deer and process it when they die. To uh, eat. Isn't that sick? Um, just cus you get a call from the cops to pick it up, doesn't mean you're still not eating road kill people. Barf.

Accomplishment of the week. I've had 2 bottles of wine for a week. They aren't my usual yummy kind. And I've been mixing them. I never claimed to be an officianotto. I like what I like. I mixed Fat Bastard chardonnay with a local winery's apricot wine. And, it's pretty damn good so shut it. I didn't drink them all! Go me!

CP has been teasing me for days now about how he got me something he claims to be one step down from diamonds. I guessed gold. Well, first I said if it's Edwin you better let him out of the trunk because he may freeze to death. *Sigh* not everyone is as obsessed as me I suppose. He has been making me wait for days to get my gift. The other day he bought me candles and cigarettes, and sunkist. I love my sunkist, it's my special treat to myself for hangovers. Not that I was hungover during the week. And 4 drug tests. Not for me, for him. So I could have some sort of security. Truth is I think I might know what my suprise is, and I told a couple people so that when I'm right, he will know I guessed it.

His hint was it's round, and square at the same time. Riddle me this.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Are we all ready to get scurvy? Sad about the oranges and lemons freezing in the south.I think thats why I'm getting sick. I blame the oranges. And avocados. I'm sorta glad I'm out of the horticultural business. It's going down. Global warming and what-not. Did you know that it takes a pineapple 18 months to grow? 1 Pineapple? I learned that on Martha Stewart.

It's really winter here now. It has been for like, 2 weeks it's been cold. It was nice to have a break from the cold and snow I suppose. Guess the break is over. Yes, people won't need plants and flowers cus they won't grow well in this warm globe, but people will always need jewelry. Because as long as there are men in the world fucking things up, there will always be diamonds that need to be bought. Am I right?

Guess what else is on TV again? The Real Housewives of Orange County. I just love that show. Despite being sick, I still went to the police station last night. And, I still worked out. Though, walking alone tuckered me out I still pressed on for the rest of the workout. This summer I'm going to wear comfortable clothes and feel comfortable. I have small goals.

The only excitement from the police station last night was the hot girl cop had a juvenile in the
station. When his mom came to sign for him, she asked why he was picked up. "Oh, he shoved a box of condoms down his pants" That had to make him feel like a complete tool. Our system was down that you see the calls, and look up case numbers, and even assign numbers. That made for an interesting night.

Some guy came in, and asked me for the number to a police station in Lubbock TX. As if every police station is somehow linked. I looked it up online and he seemed confused. I asked what he was looking for, and he said "my brother". Apparently no one has heard from him. I told him, to call and ask them to do a "welfare check". That just means the po-po will show up and say the family is worried about them.

But between you and me, I think this dude was a serial killer. He had crazy eyes. And he told us a story about his neighbor being dead 2 weeks in the shower before the cops found him, and the police used his ladder. Then he went on to say his 2 week old dead neighbor weighed 285 alive, and after being dead in his shower 2 weeks he weighed 140. "That's how much of him washed down the drain" crazy eyes said. I wonder, how a neighbor knows such intimate details such as the weight of a dead person. "This is a really nice building you have here" he said. Like...I built it or something.

Just so you all feel safe, I've made a mental note of crazy eyes. I have but 2 more weeks of training during the week. YAY! After that, I'll be on weekends. The other trainee and I split 2 midnight shifts in February so we each only had to work 1 day. We both work full time jobs. So going in on Friday night at 11pm-7am after working 8-5, is gonna be earth shattering. We
also asked to pick up a shift of two from the other girls. I am not too thrilled about it I like having time off before going full swing!

Psycho Lost Moment:
So I've decided that in the previews they are showing for Lost, that Desmond says "no matter what I do you're gonna die .....Jack" they cut it off before he says a name, but his lips clearly formed the J formation in preparation of saying Jack. I have watched this preview, about 50 times. Don't doubt me.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

When Even Tivo Lets you Down..

I'm pretty sure that I'm getting sick. I dunno if it's the dried bloody crud in my nose, or the fact that when I blew my nose last night, all my gallons of snot were red that gave it away. Or the fact that it feels like I drank 6 beers and 15 shots by the way my head is heavy, clouded and full. Gotta love the flu season! I thought I made it thru unscathed. Everyone around me was sick, but I diligently cleaned my desk, and purelled my hands. They even installed those automatic purell dispensers that you dont have to touch, everywhere at work. All the doorways, and departments. But, I think it's catching up with me. Not getting enough sleep is a sure fired way to fuck up your immune system. You would think with all the antioxidents I get in the red wine I've been drinking would make me immune though.

At work I've been setting up interviews for my VP. I feel all important saying I am so and so from such and such's office, and I'm calling to set up an interview. People are pretty nice to you when your the big boss's secretary. Then like a good secretary, I attached each person's information along with their interview appointment schedules, and a little info about each of them, such as their sales numbers etc, and the time and numbers they are calling from all in a nice folder arranged by date. Who knew I was such a kick ass assistant? Well, I always knew I had it in me.

Oh well. What's good about life lately. Oh yes, my shows are starting back up! Prison break was on, which was quite exciting, and even more thrilling, HEROS! I love that show to bits and then I scrape up the bits and eat them, so it's with me forever. New heros, is pretty exciting! Hiro cracks me up, I think he makes the show. I saw the previews for the new season at the movie theater, that's how awesome it is.

My long time companion, Tivo has betrayed me. I saved up two weeks worth of What About Brian (only one of the best shows...ever!) so that when Marjorie returned, I could watch all 3 weeks back to back. I hate waiting a week when shit goes down. And Marjorie returning...is big business in the world of What About Brian!! So, at the end of last weeks episode, Marjorie sees her two "men" with new women, and that's how it ends. Argh. I go to find this weeks episode in my play list...and? It didn't record.


I went to my recording history and Tivo says "What About Brian did not record due to a higher priority show being recorded Dr. 90210". Huh? I think Tivo has a malfunction. First of all, I checked my season pass manager, and What About Brian is #3. Only Lost, and Heros outrank it. Meaning, unless Lost or Heros is on, What About Brian will always record. Second of all, only 1 thing was recording at 10 and Tivo can record 2 shows at once. Third, Dr. 90210 isn't even in my season pass list, it's on a wish list. So I check to see if I have it set to auto-record my wish list. Um, no. Were there two things set to record at 10 p.m.? Uh...no.

And fourth????? Dr. 90210 wasn't on at 10 last night. HIGH MAINTENANCE 90210 was on. And I didn't even set it up to record. I had it set for a specific show, Dr. 90210 not KEY WORD 90210. Hello? Tivo? I think I need to break up with you.

If anyone has awesome taste in shows like me and got to see my show please let me know WTF happened!!! I'm dying mkay?

Monday, January 22, 2007

Cozy Cabin...

So, It only took me over a month, but I finally bring to you the pictures from the cabin trip CP took me on for my birthday!

First, here is the adorable Cookie Jar I spent way too much money on for a cookie jar I don't intend to fill with any food product whatsoever. But, you have to love it!

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

One of the days we went to amish country, and this is one of the cute farms we passed. I just love a good farm. I was obsessed with getting a picture of the amish hanging their laundry out to dry, CP had to turnaround for me to get this one.

The amish don't like having their picture taken so I couldn't just snap pictures of them in their carts. I made CP pull over so I could get this one of the horsie.

Here is a picture of all my loot that I bought at the antique mall and surrounding stores. I love me some old shit. Well, CP bought it actually.

*Unless you're Edwin. I always have time for you sweetness!

Saturday, January 20, 2007

One Is The Lonliest Number....

So, I'm all alone at the police station. Behind bullet proof glass. Listening to music. Eating free Pizza hut. One thing about the police is they always have free food. Just what I need. I stopped and got myself a large cuppacinno. I dunno how this working alone thing is going to work out. The girl I relieved said it's been quiet tonight. I plan to listen to the scanner, and watch the calls on the computer. Hopefully, get caught up on my blogs I read. It's been a while since I could just sit and read. How nice for me. It's the first time I've been alone on a job. I mean. Totally alone. Cops come in and out but other than that I'm alone. I get to park behind the police gates now, with the police cars and fire trucks. Guess who's car is pretty safe?

I got a little bag of goodies from one of the ladies at the temp service that placed me. And a card, thanking me for doing an amazing job. How cute is that? Kinda makes me feel bad about not wanting to stay.

I had a date last night. CP took me out. He came to pick me up in his brothers mustang, and brought me flowers. We went to dinner which was good. Then we got ice cream at Coldstone. I got a big ass thing of it that I couldn't finish so we left them in the car while we went to the movie. We went to see the Hitcher. I forgot my glasses in the car, and he went out in the cold to get them for me. Isn't that nice? Oh, a call just came on the scanner theres an alarm going off at a restaurant at the strip, a customer was acting up. Bout to be some drama!

Anyhoo, the movie was good. It was a remake of the 1980's Hitcher. I guess I didn't realize that, but it was way better. I jumped about 50 times. That's the shit you miss by not going to the theater! You don't get that loud BOOM! I also saw one of the officers from work doing security at the theater. It's pretty funny.

Guess what preview I saw? The Hills Have Eyes 2. Yes I did! I cannot wait until it comes out! That movie scared me and I love scarey movies! There's also another flick about some woman who was buried with her dolls and they come to life. Need I say how bad those freaking doll movies scared me when I was younger? Awesome.

We stopped at Best Buy to kill some time, and I got the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre on DVD. One of my favorite freaking series mkay? Love it. I was looking at Ipods and MP3 players. Sure would be nice to have one, but then I don't have the internet. And I'd have to charge it, and that defeats the purpose of working another job. On a Saturday night. I could be out getting drunk, but no, I'm here earning a living. Answering the stinking phone. That isn't suppose to ring tonight. I just heard one of the officers on the scanner, is coming back here. So, I won't be alone for long.

I did however, manage to get my ass in gear and work out today. I'm proud of me. I can tell a difference. It's nice to feel good. I stayed up last night and cleaned and passed out on the couch around 2 and woke up at 7 a.m. slobbering all over myself. I was out. O-U-T! Felt good to get some rest! I work so hard at my first job, it's not a cake walk like my old job. I have to be pleasant, and help people all day. Have I mentioned that I have like, the coolest VP's to work for? Only one of them has me do a bunch of crap. The other two are pretty low maintenance. It's hard to remember to tell them all every day about their meetings. I dunno, it is getting easier though. They have been in the office all month, and normally their traveling all week, so it's been busy.

Next month all the district managers come in and have some sort of training, I guess it happens twice a year. It'll be fun to meet them, their a lot of fun too, I'm starting to have my own rappor with them. I do think I should make more money though. I made a lot more at my last job and did half the work. OH WAIT, that IS the way of the world. The less work you do the more money you make. How easily I forget! I went over to the third building without getting lost Friday to pick up expense checks. That's a feat, considering our building is um...huge!

I picked out some earrings I have to have. They retail at $250 so I think I can get them pretty cheap. I'm not suppose to discuss my discount. But it's something to be jealous of. I guess the rest of the world would stop buying jewelry and I'd be out a job or something. But, I think the world pretty much knows they pay way more.

I'm off to catch up on some blogs. Think of me working all alone this weekend! Times going uh, slow!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Oscar "Theee" Grouch...

Ah yes. How quickly I forgot the utter and complete exhaustion that working 14 hours a day can bring. The constant dryness and puffiness of the eyes. Trying to stay awake while not in constant movement. Yawning non-stop. Inability to wear contacts due to the risk of your eyes being stuck open for a lifetime, and having your eyes shrivel up and pop out. The complete lack of desire to do things, though things don't get done on their own, so you press on. Drag yourself home. Work out. Get a bath. Clean. Sit down for 30 minutes. Go to bed. Drag yourself out of bed. Rush to work. The 45 minute drive to to work again. In a rush. Work pisses me off.

I'm in such a bitchy mood about it. I don't understand why I have to work 2 jobs. I fucking hate it. It's not that the job sucks so much, it's that working just plain sucks ass. Getting to my first job in the dark, leaving in the dark, makes you think. I live at fricking work. Why do I need to go to work again? What happened to the joy I once felt from the first job? I can't even like work because I hate working so much. Remember when I was off for a month, and all I wanted to do was work? Yea....me too.

I'm mostly sick of being tired. Where is my prince charming? Whoever started that rumor should be sued. Or shot. Better yet, strung up and stoned by all the women of the world struggling to make something of their lives, still wishing a man would rescue them. Bastards. Every last one of them. It's amazing what a lack of sleep will do to you. I forgot what an asshole I was when I worked two jobs. I kinda miss being my pleasant self. I'm going to get some cappucinno from the grill downstairs. Maybe that'll make me happy. More than likely it'll just give me horrible gas and I'll have to spend 14 hours trying not to pass it, and being doubled over in pain. Nice thought huh?

At the police station last night it was pretty damn busy. Lot's of visitors. Lots of calls. I saw on
the system, some dumbass on my street called to complain that a white dog was barking at her. Mind you, every officer in the county was out on a damn accident call. The phone rang every other minute with a person who just got in a wreck. It snowed 3 inches at job #1. There was merely a light dusting at home though. I dunno what the accidents were all about. The canal flooded pretty bad. I see some fun ice skating in our future.

The biggest excitement was a boy that was hauled in. On the system the call was suspicious male. They took him in and gave him the breathalizer test, we watched them interrogate him for quite a while. One of the detectives even came in. They fingerprinted him, and you could clearly see that he was agitated. In the middle of it, the officer came in and gave me an ID and asked me to run a check, it was clear. Then he asked me to run a check on the address to see if there was anything in the area that happened recently like a burglary. Nothing.

Apparently, the ID didn't belong to the boy they had in the room. It was stolen. Dun dun dunnnnnnnnn......When they brought him to the lobby to wait for a ride, we got to hear everything. He has to go to court for connection in a robbery. Then we heard the boy call everyone he knew for the next half hour, and recap the entire story of how he got busted 'just walking down the street'. He was a cocky fuckwad. His dad came to pick him up and I had to call dispatch to contact the officer to see if he was free to leave. He was. Then I got to hear them ask him on the scanner. She called back "did you hear?" It's pretty neat.

The boy and his dad went to the car and we watched them for the next 15 minutes on the monitor. In and out of the car, clearly arguing. Next thing you know, they came back in, Dad wanted to talk to the Major. That conversation went on behind closed doors so I couldn't tell you what happened. But I can tell you the boy did something wrong!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

From The Not So Frozen Tundra....

How's the weather out there? It seems to be fine here to me. We are having our second snow of the year. People completely freak out and forget how to drive. It was icy so there were several accidents on the roads this morning. I drove 45mph today. The. Whole. Way. To. Work. It takes me 30 minutes going 70. Needless to say I was late. Bastards.

So I'm at work yesterday and in walks this dipshit I use to work with at my old job. They canned her way before they canned me. She was way annoying, and not too bright. And really religious, which, fine, but she would bring that shit to work, and pray for you for gossiping, and stuff. She was nice, but just too pushy with her beliefs. Anyhoo, needless to say she
isn't getting a call back. She couldn't even email an excel document. (They give you a test)

I'm still super busy at work. But it makes the time go fast. Then I'm working at night. I worked a bit on Saturday and I got to do a lot more than usual. Answering the phone, and had a woman come in with a stalker. Also, some old bag that I hear calls all the time, thinking the police are "out to get her". I just love old people. Not. Back to work at the police station tonight. Working thru the week really sucks. How did I do it for almost 2 years? Ugh. I can't stand it. I'm gonna hate working the weekend even more, but you do what you gotta to get by.

I've still been working on my fitness each night. I'm proud of me. Oh oh oh. Only 3 weeks until Lost comes back. Can you stand it????

Saturday I went to Kats and updated my Myspace with Justin Timberlakes new song, cus it's the fucking bomb. What goes around comes around. Mmmm hmm it sure does. I love it! We went to the mall where Bath and Body was having a majorly huge ginormous sale. 75%, 50%, and some stuff even 90% off. I originally had to go to get this Lancaster self tanning milk for my face, which they didn't even end up having. Kat gave me her leftover samples. I just love the stuff it doesn't turn you orange. I spent $30 but I got almost $100 of stuff. I just love a sale...m'kay? So much so that I got high off of it. I cracked myself and eventually Kat up by smelling things and making a grunting MMMMM noise. I couldn't stop laughing at myself, because I am just that stupid.

Then we went to TJ Max to find something to wear out that night, and I picked her out the ugliest shirt to try on. If you are ever bored, I suggest making your friend try on stupid shit, because it's quite entertaining. She looked like one of those fire monsters from the Labrynth. It was a salmon pink color and had thick kermit the frog-like fringe around the collar and sleaves. She picked me out a nice gold/green quilted and bejeweled top, that cost $50! We had fun laughing at each other and wondering who thought we had shitty taste for carrying them around the store.

We went to 80's night, where I promptly kicked everyone's ass at silverstrike bowling. Just give up and live in the now people, you can't beat me. The sooner you accept it the happier you will be. We had some entertainment on smoke breaks (smoking ban is a huge crock of horse dookie) some drunk got stuck in the grass and the cops came to help and they got arrested I think. Classic.

The radio station was spose to be there but it was just one guy who you never saw. They didn't play that much good music this week, but who won the trivia contest? I did. I got 2 tshirts, and cups and hand sanitizer, and car air freshners from the radio station. I don't really remember the questions. I had some drinks. It was a good night. We stopped to get kat a slab of bacon. CP cooked me spaghetti. The night always ends good when you get your grub on.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Reason 456,234,012 I Don't Want Children...

Custody battles. I know I said I'd tell a story about the good old days, but sometimes life happens and this is one of those times. So I'm at work at the police station, and the girl who is training us (I've been working this week with another trainee) goes to lunch for 1/2 hr and a sargeant usually comes to sit up front while she is gone. It hasn't been busy with calls or visits so we havn't had much exposure to that sorta thing, and she wasn't ready to leave us alone, but "the sargeant" decided we would be fine on our own and decided to not come up.

I was in another office in the front for the first part of this story. The entire lobby is mic'd so you can hear a pin drop out there amplified in our office. A guy comes in around 7:35, and states that he is picking up his daughter, him and his "ex" are making the exchange at the police station, and she is late. He wanted to file a police report on her. She was suppose to come at 7:30, and had called to say she'd be late, at 8:00. The other girl sent an officer out to talk to the guy. The officer found out they just went to court on Monday, and she wasn't breaking any law if she called to say she would be late and besides, neither of them lived in the township in which we work. No livie, no helpie. Unless I suppose you are dying, but no police reports.

By this time I'm done entering my citations, and I make my way to the front desk. The guy is clearly agitated, doing something on his cell phone, shaking his leg anxiously. The officer came to tell us that this sort of thing will happen all the time, people usually make 'exchanges' at the police station. While we wait, I make up a scenerio as to why the dude is so pissed off. I figure, he probably has another woman at home and the ex is making him late for some booty.

So, at 8:00 I see a car pull in on the monitor. The other girl intercoms the dad and says I think she is here, there is a car in the parking lot, what color car does she have? He looks in our direction and says "white" but doesn't move. Me and the other girl look at each other and laugh. "This outta be good" I said. Here comes the Mom with the kid, and she's like 1 or something I dunno kids ages. But she's small and happy, and laughing. Mom walks in, and Dad stands up, takes her bag, takes the kid, and turns around not saying a word and goes out the door. All the while the kid seems pretty happy.

The woman walks out right behind the guy, and you can clearly tell that he wants nothing to do with the Mom and she is instigating something, but they go out to the parking lot, where we can only see and not hear. Next thing you know, here comes Mom back in to the window. "Can I get a stamp that I was here?" We asked what she meant, and she said 'usually' she gets a stamp with our address and the time on it that she was here. We said we're new and our trainer would be back in no time if she wanted to wait. You could just tell this woman was a freak, ok? Seriously. Like, a Jerry Springer freak. Like, "I'm your baby momma you'll never get rid of me" kinda freak.

So she proceeds to tell us that she normally gets a witness statement paper and we have a machine around "over there" as she points about where our time clock is, "that stamps the time". Then she called our trainer by her name and said she does it for her all the time. She kept going on and on, and we asked her to just have a seat for a minute. I tell the other girl maybe she is telling the truth and it couldnt hurt to stamp a paper with the time and have the trainer deal with it when she's back. We hear like a phone conversation in the lobby, and look out to see the freaky woman with a hand held tape recorder listening and laughing, and giving us a
wild freaky woman look of satisfaction.

Apparently, she recorded their little episode in the parking
lot. It was hard to determine what was said, but she seemed pretty pleased with herself, holding it to her ear and laughing. You can clearly tell it was a fight but you can't understand it.
The trainer finally comes back and we ask about a woman who does an exchange in the lobby wanting a stamp. "Oh god a blonde woman? She's a pain in the ass" She'd heard of her. We gave her a stamp on the paper, and she smiles a crazy girl smile of satisfaction and said "thank you", as she played her cassette recorder "I have everything that I need now". Ok psycho, go on with your bad self.

The story on them is that they have been fighting over that kid for almost a year. Trainer said that at first she asked for a time stamp, then it was a witness statement, then she wanted her to write arrival and departure times, then she wanted her to testify in court. Boy, is this going to be a killer time working at the police station.

While we're on the topic of husbands. One of the big bosses at work was telling her secretary about her exhusband being an executive chef of some ritzy joint in Seattle. She googled him so she could show her what he looked like, and found out that he re-married to a wife with MS that he cares for, has a kid, and he was named husband of the year by a prominent woman's magizine. Her secretary then asked, why was it you got divorced? I don't ever see my ex husband being named husband of the year by anyone let alone a magazine.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

I Don't Always Say Anything...

Better late than never I always say. Well, I don't say that because typically I hate when people are late. And, I'm usually always late. So, the moral of the story is I guess in my case for posting, it's better late than never. Anyways.

It's already hump day! I'm liking the old J-O-B more each day. I'm actually getting to spend time with my VP's since they are here, and I am getting to know, that their pretty cool guys. They don't think their better than us at all. (By us I mean 'the secretaries') I spent a few days doing awards for people in the stores. They get a lot of freaking awards. I'd love an award too, so I can't complain. Today the girls told me all about their old manager, and what a horrible bitch she was, and I'm pretty glad I didn't work here then. Then, they showed me how to skirt management to get something Fed-Ex'd that my boss told me not to do. Not that it's a bad thing, a district manager asked me to make her 3 stinking awards, and I was already doing it for my VP's, so I did it anyway. She is a really sweet lady so she deserved it. The girls said I'm learning the ropes.

At job #2 last night, I saw a vet tech from my vet come in to get a police report that was filed against her. I don't know what it was about because I was in the other room when they printed it for her. Then a truck full of hooligans (young boys) came in, asking for a video tape. I looked around because normally if someone lost something it's up front and people will come in to pick it up. I asked who called them, an officer, they didn't know his name. So the other lady went thru some names and it so happened that the officer was there at the time, so he went out to talk to the boys.

Apparently the hooligans had commited some kind of "criminal mischief" on said video tape, and came to pick it up, as if they would get off with their incriminating evidence. The officer told the boys that it was evidence and they may be prosecuted for "criminal mischief". And then seriously, the head hooligan then asked if he could "take the tape home to make a copy and bring it back". All I have to say is that I really would love to know what the hell was on that tape. Of course, the officer said you have got to be crazy, that's evidence.

I'm going to work at the station a few hours this weekend to get a feel for what it's like, I keep hearing it's different. It's pretty hard to input the tickets and stuff, it's simple, but the exceptions and ins and outs of the whole thing are hard to remember.

I'm proud to say that since having my treadmill moved I have successfully worked out every day. While we have a gym at work, the only reason I liked going to the gym thru my old job, was to take aerobics classes. There's no classes at the work gym. So, I go home. Plus I get to watch The View and stuff. It was shitty doing it at 9 last night after working 2 jobs, but hey, whatyagonna do? Complain about being fat? Complaining is way easier than working out. I blame losing my job on falling off the wagon, cus technically anything bad in my life is not my fault.

Speaking of bad in my life, I read a journal of mine from the year after I graduated. First, I was a freaking pimp OK? I use to kickit with Katie and Shelly and Stacy all the friggin time. Up at Brewskies...which sadly is no more. Tomorrow I'm gonna share some funny stories from 'Back in the Day'.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Titles Require me to Think...

How bout them Buckeyes? I don't like the foosball, but everyone is talkingabout the damn game. It's just a game, there's next year. How was your weekend? Mine was pretty awesome. Cus I said so. I worked Friday but it was deadat the old police station. I went out to kickit for a bit with Kat and her work peeps. Her friend Matt was being a hater and trying to steal our mojo at silverstrike bowling, only becausehe didn't have the natural talent to win on his own. In the end we tied. He said he could have beatenme if I hadn't 'fucked with him' but, whatever you say. The proof is in the pudding. I don't even know what that means, but people say it.

I'm super busy again today. I can't wait until the VP's go back out on the road. Having them around only makes them decide they want things, and want to change things, and I don't much like it. I'm still new so it's taking me a while to get all my awards and reports done. Have I mentioned howspectacular they think I am at work? I don't get it, because to me it's just me, this is who I am...I'm dedicated, and a smart cookie. Be jealous. There are a ton of reports in excel I have to do, I'm more use to reporting in Access, but once you learn the ropes, it's easy, I know the programs. My boss also wants me to be a back up with the reporting she does. Must mean I'm doing well I guess.

So my friend Katie told me all about how the place I work job #2 was all in the news for having some sortof sex scandal. Isn't that peachy. Nice of her to tell me BEFORE I started working there. But, she said she thought it was a different city. No wonder they have so many new people there. I don't want to be involvedin no scandalous sexcapades, and I also need me a damn second job. Let's hope this has all passed. I think everyone involved has been let go. Yea, a secretary and an officer. Doesn't that sound like a plot for a sleazy romance novel?

I have to work tonight, Wednesday, and Thursday there. I better get a damn paycheck on Friday, or I'llbe pissed off. It wont be for much but every little bit helps! I need to pay off some bills. At this point, I'm just hoping to get a refund from the government to pay my 2005 taxes off with. At least federal. I stillowe the city. It's bullshit that they even want me to pay. I already paid where I worked.

Saturday CP came over and helped me take down the tree. It's so depressing. I still have one to take down though. Then he lugged my treadmill upstairs for me. I've had it up, down, and now up again. I'm thinking if I can watch the old Tivo, I'll walk much more. Nothing like walking to Rachel Ray or Ellen. It's way more interesting than listening to the same old songs every time I get on. I've been doing good so far. I'm sleeping better too having worked out. I'm sleepingright thru the night, not waking up. Ahhhh....thats freaking awesome!

I managed to not drink an entire bottle of wine Sat night. This is an accomplishment to me, because since my birthday, I've had a bottle of wine a night, ON THE WEEKEND. This weekend I had all but 1 glass of a bottle Sat, and I did drink a bottle on Sunday. Can I help it if I found the best wine ever? It's grape-y and notgross. Mmmm. Stop talking about it or I'll start drinking thru the week. I'll need a third job to support my drinking habit.

I got my cable channels back! Dr 90210, Hogan Knows Best, The Real World...here I come! Hopefully I can afford it for a while. I miss my shows!

Friday, January 05, 2007

Folsom County Prison, Only Not Quite A Prison...

I started the new job last night. It wasn't so bad, so I'm gonna go back. It's actually pretty interesting. I sit behind bulletproof glass at the police station. Good to know it was bulletproof. Seeing how I don't think I'll be risking my life for $8.25/hour. What sort of things will I do? Well, I took some infofrom a woman who had her purse stolen at the Giant Eagle.

I get to input traffic tickets, crash reports (which I did at my old PT job before) and warning tickets. So far, that's all the paperwork I learned. I get to watch all the monitors in the station which will be fun on weekends. Another PT girl said a lot of drunks come in. Fun for me! She also said, mostly people think we are closed weekends so it's dead. I get to sit and surf the net. Not a bad gig I suppose.

Sometimes I'll have to witness someone's miranda rights, and sign a paper. Sometimes I'll haveto "keep an eye" on a criminal on the monitor if an officer has to leave the room. It's pretty fun! I have access to the system that shows all the cars on patrol and where they are headed, on what calls. They come up and go away when they are done.

I also get to listen to the police scanner, and be entertained. "Ten forty niner, we got a pursuit in progress".

I can get in the computer and spy on people's police reports, tickets, and criminal records. I even have the ability to erase records. So um, for a fee, maybe I can erase your record. Only in 3 cities though. And you better make it worth my while. I could lose my job. The phones are recorded. No interesting conversations for me either. Booty.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

New Year's Eve with Edwin McCain...

I have been crazy-busy at work yesterday and today! Happy NeW Year, your new job is way busy. That's fine with me. I work best under pressure. Why is it I have to log in to "old blogger". Like, I'm no longer cool, or what?

So, how was your New Year's Eve? I am pretty much the only one who left the housethat I know of. I'm glad I went out, cus that is just sad! I prepared for the evening by watching my Edwin McCain DVD's. Driving CP nuts I'm sure by announcing each time increment as "5 hours and 33 minutesuntil we see Edwin". All while downing a bottle of American Red wine. We stopped offat Starbucks before the show, for a pick-me-up.

Once we got there, we got our party hats, and drinks, and stood around waitingfor Edwin to grace us with his presence. One of the opening bands was a localband from Columbus called Red Wanting Blue. They were pretty cool, and I'm gonna check them out. They have a myspace if you want to hear their tunes.I loved their music. We got a spot about 3 people deep down in front. Edwin came out about a quarter to 12, and when I first saw him I thought that's an imposter.

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All his hair is gone. He normally grows it long, and cuts it about shoulder length, but he had a buzz cut. He made a joke about never betting against a Clemson gamebut then said he donated it to locks of love. Cus...who the hell wouldn't wantEdwin's hair? He's the sweetest ever. He got through a song and a half, and then they pulled the bigscreen down and we watched the ball drop.

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As usual, I'm screaming, and singing at the top of my lungs. The girl in front of me turned around at one point and said "you go girl". I said "Am I being too loud?" and she said no, it sounded good. Yea...so I kept doing it cus that is how I roll. I took pictures, and video of course!So, he did a cover, the seal version of "crazy". At that point, we had moved to the very front, I could have touched Edwin's bare footsies if I tried. I'm feelin it you know, singing. The new guitar player pointed right at ME and then to his ear and smiled. My big mouth was heard up on the stage! I tried to see if CP noticed but he wasn't on the ball. When the songwas over, they left the stage and the new guitar guy tossed me a water bottle. Me. I caught it in mid air with one hand. Bam. Just like that. It was fate.

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CP wanted to dance with me but I wouldn't move. I even caught this on the sound of my video. "No way, we're up front!!" I crack me up. When I downloaded my video, what do you think you can hear? Not much other than too loud music (we were right by the speaker) and me...singingmostly off-key. It is pretty hilarious for everyone else, but I'm kinda pissedI ruined my edwin videos!

So, in the meantime, enjoy this movie I made with microsoft movie maker. I was addicted tothis project for hours. I added some Edwin songs, and a little countdown of the new yearat the end. It's all my pictures from the concert. Enjoy! I know I did!