"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Monday, July 21, 2014

The Downside of Pets...

I can only think of one downside to having pets and that is...having to say goodbye.

This weekend, I said goodbye to the most perfect cat in the universe, my Fizzgig!

Fizzgig had a motor purr that you could hear rooms away, and there was rarely a time that she was not running that motor! Secretly "the favorite" she always came when called, never turned down a snuggle, and loved her whisker lickin' treats more than anything else.

Everyone loved her because she had the most gentle temperment, despite her "grumpy face". 

She had been getting frequent urinary tract infections, and had kidney disease for about a year. She was managing the kidney thing pretty well with her incessant drinking, and diet. Other than that you'd never know there was a thing wrong with her. 

This past week she started hiding...and she never hides. Even when she was sick with a UTI, she was more lethargic, but always around me.

So I made a Saturday appointment suspecting another UTI. But Thursday night, in the span of a couple of hours, she was purring, laying down...and slowly rolled to her side, took a deep breath, and essentially..."died" for a couple seconds. It was very unexpected and I called my Mom hysterical.

We agreed that if she seemed to be in no pain, to just let her go. The first couple times I shook her, and she came out of it dazed, and went about her business eating, drinking, using the litter box..but she'd hide in the kitty tunnel, and did the same thing a dozen or so times. 

I changed her appointment to the next day, and all night I layed with her, battling with the decision to put her down. 

Mr. Magoo wanted to be near her the last day, he has the sweetest soul..

At the vet, she told me that her heart rate was really, really slow, especially given that she was at the vet. She said we should do an xray to see what's going on with it. And really, what did it matter? Her heart was obviously affected enough so that it stopped beating several times the previous night.

As hard for me as it was, and as awful as it sounded coming out of my mouth I said " she's almost sixteen, and I don't want to put her through anything else to prolong her suffering, I can't watch her go through another night like we had, so I think it's time to let her go". 

Deep down I knew I was going there to euthanize her.

She leaves a big hole in my heart, but also in the kitty hearts of these guys...

Her 14 year old son Peekachu

And 14 year old daughter Fozzie

More than my sadness, her babies have never known a life without her, and it's the first time in losing a pet that I have had to deal with real pet grief, which makes it all that more difficult to move on from.

Fizzie lovin the boxed wine!

We lose pets all the time, and it's never easy. However, I am really missing my little "gigabyte"...we had a special bond.

To some, seems I've had a bout of "bad luck" with my pets lately, but they have all lived well into their teens, and I am grateful for that. I've taken very good care of them, and they have lived long, happy, lives as adored little additions to my life.

R.I.P. little Fizzgig. 1998-2014

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

My Life Has Gone to the Dogs....

I have been somewhat busy, work, gym, (losing 15lbs!!!), interviewing for an open position, to which I can not find any qualified people for the money we want to pay. (didn't I just do this?)

Having an open position at work is somewhat stressful on the rest of us, and so time has been getting away from me!

For fun, I've been getting my new dog use to his new home, (a month already!) getting him on a routine, and finding the right barricade to keep him locked in the kitchen all day with his brother! He has proved a master escape artist!

First I got the little extension because he jumped the regular gate that kept Magoo in for 4 years. Then, he climbed this. Then, he opened it and let both dogs out! Now, I have two regular size baby gates. So far, so good!

He is way more needy of my attention than my Mr. Magoo is, so I feel like I need to spend more time with the dogs now. But, not like I had anything else going on, and the extra walks are beneficial for me as well!

Lookin fly from the beauty salon! The groomer said he acted like a pro!

He's been vetted, microchipped, and groomed. He's officially mine now. But, I think Mr. Magoo may argue that he is officially his now.


Bo's first trip to the lake

After about three walks, they learned how to walk side-by-side and not get tangled up, and trip me

It really feels good to have not only taught Magoo how to be a dog after years of cage isolation in a puppy mill, but now I have an "unruly dog" turned angel-in-training! Everyone who meets Bo asks "who would want to give this dog away?" It just goes to show that when people say they have bad dogs, they should look at themselves! 

Saturday, July 05, 2014

I'm Ready For My Close-Up...

Mr. Bohannon is fitting in really well in his new home, and he's learned how he is not in charge really quickly. He is now allowed off his leash in the yard under supervision now and then. 

And, watch out Hollywood...Mr. Bohannon picked up this trick in no time!!

Friday, June 27, 2014

Vacation! (All I Ever Wanted!)...

I'm going on vacation!!!

food, wine, fun!

I don't get out much. And aside from that, The furthest down the coast I've been is South Carolina (which I absolutely love, and when I'm rich I'll have a winter home in Charleston). Sure, I'm lucky to have a sister in Virginia Beach, so I get to travel there every year with free room and board, and stay a mile from the beach, and I'm very thankful for that.

But guess what else I have? One of my longest friends that lives in Orlando, FL...and not only that...she WORKS FOR DISNEY!!! Cue the magic!

What have I been waiting for???

This October, I will fly to sunny Florida for the food and wine festival at Disney, where I will partake in foods, wine, music, girl time,  and the magic of DISNEY!! I'm not ashamed to say that at 38 I'm probably more excited about going to Disney than most kids are!

I get entrance to Disney...FOR FREE! We are getting a suite at the hotel for the wine festival...FOR FREE! I get to go to the Animal Kingdom...FOR FREE! (animals!!! eek!)  And guess what else? She's taking me on an hour road trip to Vero Beach so that I can experience the pretty side of Florida!

I mean, we even already have dinner reservations at an Epcot restaurant...it must be good!

I had a really hard time deciding to take this trip since my #1 goal this year has been saving money, and paying off my credit debt so that I can buy a house next year...but then I decided that I freaking deserve it, its cheaper than going to see my sister, and honestly... once I buy a house, I'll have even more reasons not to take a vacation.

Watch out, Florida...here I come!

Saturday, June 21, 2014

A New Life Partner...

I know you were all excited that I finally met someone, right? But this post is not about MY life partner, it's about a life partner for my dog Mr. Magoo!

Mr. magoo posing with his pool...

Being a puppy mill breeder, Magoo has always loved other dogs! So, I've been on the lookout for a while now for the right dog to live with us, and be his new best friend..it's not easy to make a match. The dogs are the ones to decide if they will be friends, and then I have my three senior cats to worry about on top of that!

We've had a few trials. 

But after years of  looking at potential dogs...we have officially adopted a new life partner for Mr. Magoo! 

Mr. Bohannon with his tennis ball!!! (named after my man crush on the show Hell on Wheels)

A friend of a friend found him as a puppy about six months ago, and didn't have time to care for a dog, and wanted to find a loving home for him. I took him on a weekend trial,  but after the first night it was clear that he was meant to be mine. 

He and Mr. Magoo played for hours their first meeting, and my cats didn't mind him at all after a couple of hours. He is around a year old, and I'm not sure what kind of dog he is until I take him to my vet, but the previous owner said the vet told her he is a shih tzu mix. I think he may be a maltese mix, he is really little, (about 6lbs) and has silky hair. 

This dog hit the jackpot coming to live with me, and  his previous owner couldn't have found a better home for this little guy!

Sleeping on the back of the couch...


This new little guy even spent the day at Grammas (my Moms house) with Mr. Magoo, and she agreed that he is a great dog! (good thing because she is my dog-sitter!)

After a much needed hair cut, we hit the park. Mr. Bohannon decided to survey the water safely from the bank, but true to form, Mr. Magoo got right in!

Life partners...at last!!

Monday, June 09, 2014

My Body Image...

There has been so much in the media about body image as of late. All of the ads, articles, and documentaries, trying to show "society" that it is OK to be overweight, curvy, light skinned, dark skinned, have straight hair, curly hair, be Asian, African American, Caucasian..Urging people to get on board with what beauty is, even if it isn't what "society" thinks is beautiful.

I am first in line to board this train. I think it's great. The movement inspires me. But the missing peice here, isn't about what others think of you, it's about what you think of you. If you love you, and your body, it really doesn't matter what anyone thinks. 

One of the things I have really embraced about getting older is learning what self love means.

Love doesn't come from perfection. I think about all of the men I have loved in my life that were far from perfect. If I could see past their shortcomings, whether physical or otherwise, why was I not willing to do the same for myself? My family and friends are not perfect, but I don't stop loving them because of it. I can recognize imperfections in others as beauty, so why not myself?  I love them for who they are. I don't want to change them.

So why would I want to change myself to please others?

I don't strive for perfection. I still would like to lose a few pounds, but that is no longer in the forefront of my mind. Instead of aesthetics, I aim for fitness goals. Running faster. Doing push ups.  I am more focused on what my body is, and not what it isn't. When I changed my goals to fitness achievements vs. pounds lost, I have had much easier results.

How would you describe your body in one word? 

Years ago..I would say "fat" or "disgusting".

But the older me says "STRONG!"

I can run half marathons! I workout in the gym 5 days a week, plus I log 20+ miles in 7 days. Since shifting my focus from what my body looks like to others, to what it means to me, I am a much happier person! Self loathing is not good for the mind.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

A Fourth Half Marathon...

Bees are the city's theme..so I loved my swag!

I remember when I thought doing "A" half marathon was crazy. But once I did, I caught the bug, and I have been doing various races here and there, mostly, just the distances that will earn me medals.

Only four weeks of training for the fourth half marathon, but I felt great! The night before the race, my new boot camp trainer actually called me to wish me luck, and asked me to let her know how it went. I mean,  she is not my personal trainer. This kinda made me feel awesome!

My alarm was set for 4:30 am because I was worried about parking, so what time did I get up...5:52!!! I left the house in a mere 10 minutes with a lot of "F" bombs, and had to eat my breakfast in transit.  Not a great start to the day but I made it in time, and found parking, plus my bff was there to send me off!

For the first time in my half marathon history, it flew by! I wasn't counting the minutes, and when another mile marker came up I said to myself "I still feel great!" I told myself I wouldn't stop or stretch until the 8 mile mark. Then around mile 9.5 my foot started to really bother me. It had been hurting off and on during training, but not so bad.

I finally had to start walking/jogging vs. my normal pace. I was trying to push it for a while, and I reminded myself that I'm not in this to prove anything to anyone but me, and I wanted to finish on my own two feet! I didn't want to sustain any long-term injuries!

In the end, I added about 20 minutes to my usual time, and ended at 2:50.  I attribute the pain to street running and the road being slanted. I train on the towpath trails, or treadmill, and it's always even. I'm spending the rest of the day icing and elevating in hopes to pick back up running next week!

On the upside, for the first time after a half, the rest of my body feels great! I am not stiff, or sore like usual, just the damned foot. So, progress was made!

I aim to make up those extra minutes on my fall half marathon!

I mean, how cute is this bee medal? 

Friday, May 23, 2014

Change IS Good...

I got a new trainer at my gym for my boot camp classes. I don't much like change, but I'm trying to embrace it!

Our classes are more challenging, which after a year, we all needed! More faced paced, no fringe, non-stop, awesomeness! She even throws in some tabata classes here and there!

The best part, is that she is also a nutritionist. She gave us the option to submit food journals, for a "prize". She looks them over, and gives us suggestions on what to change. Of course, I jumped on board! I have been stagnant despite 2 a day work outs (runs and boot camp) because I wasn't tracking my food! (I workout all the time, I can eat what I want!!)

After 3 weeks of being back to journaling I'm down 5 pounds!

I'm most excited about the introduction of protein shakes after my workouts. After only one week I can already see my muscle definition!

One week until my 13.1 that I only took 4 weeks to train for. I'll be OK, but I won't be breaking any personal records!

And because it's spring, here are some bird pics!

my friend installed a webcam on a robins nest at her house! I spend too much time watching it. 

I'm still trying to get a picture when the babies are up to be fed!

For Mother's Day, I took mom to a local park, where the chickadees will eat out of your hand. This is me

This is my Momma

Thursday, May 08, 2014

Only You Can Kick Yourself In The Pants...

There is nothing like jump starting your race training like signing up for a half marathon that you have to run in just four weeks!

I can't pass up a good medal!

I needed to get out of my fitness slump! Sure I attend my boot camp classes 4 days a week, and I've been running here and there short distances, but I was kind of just going through the motions, maintaining.

My first half of 2014 wasn't scheduled until October, so I was taking it pretty easy.

As luck would have it, just four weeks before race day, 50 spots opened up on a half marathon I was interested in, and so....here goes nothing!

I love medals!

I'm back in training mode...which is where I thrive! Two a day workouts? Yes, please! Logging 20+ miles a week? OK!

I'm exhausted, I miss food that is bad for me, hours of netflix on the couch, and wine,  (except for Friday's...those will still be MINE!)  and it feels like all I do is run, shower, go to the gym, shower, prepare my meals, sleep, and start all over.... but this is the kind of stuff that makes me tick!

I successfully made it through my first week of kicking processed foods again, and while I sometimes feel like yelling at people for being able to eat what I can't...I know that in another week, I won't even miss it!

I missed race season more than I thought I would. I think I'm officially a runner!