"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort










Sunday, August 24, 2014

And The Beat Goes On...

So I had plans with exmanfriend to go see a band. I have seen him from time to time over the years after our break up. Yet,  I'm still "dating". Dating is what people who aren't in relationships do!

Exmanfriend had to cancel our plans the night before. We did talk about how we have been in contact over the years, and I mentioned how I never felt that he made a grand gesture to claim me, or try to get me back (for lack of better terms) and we did make plans to get together again the next time we were both available.

Being a single gal, not wanting to spend a Saturday night alone, I made other plans for that night  I planned to see the movie "If I stay" with a girlfriend because we both read the books, and I was available now!



Next morning, I had a text from exmanfriend way before I woke up it said he felt better and could our plans still go on, but if not, no big deal. The next text said something cryptic about opening my front door slowly, which didn't register. I was just honest and text him I had made alternate plans.

This morning I was rushing off to meet someone new for coffee.

When I opened my door, to rush off for my coffee date, there was a boquet of flowers!! First thing I think is...what the heck? Did I tell coffee guy where I lived, and if so, should I be meeting him after this?.

I'm halfway to Starbucks in the car when it occurs to me that exmanfriend mentioned something about opening my front door slowly. And I think...did he actually make the effort to bring me flowers? (he never got me flowers while we were dating so I was thinking...it was adorable)

So I sent him a text before I arrived..."did you come over here?" And he said no, why do I ask? So then I think, then who left me flowers? Maybe it wasn't him? If it was, why not say so?

Being courteous, I didn't check my phone on my date.

While I had a close to 7 hour phone conversation with coffee guy the previous night, and we had a pretty good conversation...the whole time I was thinking..."do I want him to kiss me?" and the answer was No. So, the chemistry wasn't there for me at all. I was glad that I had plans with a girlfriend, and a reason to cut out early.

Upon leaving...I read a text message sent only about 20 minutes after the last one from exmanfriend, that bottom line said, that he knew I had moved on, and to delete his number, and he would delete mine.

eeeeh...Huh? 

After the fact, there is a billion things I wished I'd have said, and still want to say but you can't do that if you delete a number, right?

My only response could be that I would honor his request. And he thanked me.

I never got a real confirmation on where the flowers came from, not like there are a million options,  but I  I am enjoying them, they are beautiful! Girls love flowers!

Wouldn't it be nice if all it took was deleting a phone number to make you forget about someone? God, life and love would me so much easier!

In the end..just like that, in a matter of hours, he showed me that still after all of these years, he cannot commit to something. He canceled, I made plans with a friend, he obviously brought me flowers, and then decided he never wanted to speak to me again.

Lucky for me, I finally have the closure I have always needed.



Saturday, August 09, 2014

Warrior Dash 2014 - This is the Battleground

I finally got to do the Warrior Dash!!

I signed up at a really cheap price on Cyber Monday this past year and I'm so happy that I did!

I will say, that thankfully all my boot camp classes prepared me for the grueling obstacles! It is "just a 5k" but when you add in all of the things you have to do, it seems like far...far longer!

Not only did I get another medal, achieve something I'd been wanting to do for years, but I reconnected with my childhood BFF via Facebook, and we ran it together with a group of people she knows! I hadn't seen her in almost 30 years, and it was like time had never passed!

Out of all of the obstacles, only one actually scared me...it was walking on a 2x4 that was "cock-eyed" in mud caked shoes, while water is being sprayed on you. I was so afraid to slip and fall that 10 foot drop, but I made it unscathed!

Here's to another medal, another accomplishment, and a reconnection of  a very old friendship that I hope continues!


My race swag


I heart medals!

Monday, August 04, 2014

How Did That Date Go?...

So, aside from my two one time dates with some internet winners, I haven't been out with a new guy in a really...really long time.

Sure, I have gone out with exmanfriend a few times over the past couple of years but I don't think that counts since did in fact break my heart via a letter.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little nervous, but not the 2013 nervous...the 2014 me is suppose to be spontaneous, and try new things, and that...I did!

He was running late, and as any respectable lady (with a DUI under her belt) would assume, I thought he would be picking me up. When we talked it was decided that I had to meet him so we could make it on time...he said he'd get me home whatever he had to do, so I guess I felt confident with going to his house.

In about the first hour I already decided that maybe I had waited too long to go out with him. (he says I have been standing him up for years, but we never had concrete plans, I always felt like I was an afterthought) He was easy to talk to, and made me laugh. We had a two hour window after the wedding before the reception, so we went to the winery. He seems to be just as open as I am, so of course, we had a  really good conversation. I was starting to think this was going to be a fun night.

At the wedding, I told him he is like a local celebrity, he seems to know everyone. I said "I think I know like five people in real life". The venue was on the lake, so we went down to the water and sat at a picnic table and had drinks, and talked for hours...turns out, we missed the entire wedding. Dancing. Dinner. Cake. Boquet toss...the whole nine. At one point I said "you are missing your friends wedding!", but he didn't seem to mind.

I told him that I had expected to have fun, but in the back of my mind, I didn't think I would like him as much as I did. I had the same high school mentality that he was kind of a jerk, and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised!

And then, there was kissing. Followed by hand holding. I had been wondering if he was gonna make a move that night, and he is a really good kisser.

After the wedding we went out to the bars, and long story short, we were up until about 6 in the morning! Two days later, I am realizing, that a 38 year old woman does not stay up until 6 am because I am still feeling very rough!

What happened next? We did spend some time together the next day, and we went to lunch. But the moral of the story is, he has been hung up on his ex for well over 10 years, (which he said he was done with when he asked me out) and he had plans to leave the next day on a trip to California with another girl that he said he has no "romantic" interest in, and wished he was going with me.

I told him I know far too well what it is like to have trouble getting over an ex, and so I wasn't going to expect anything to happen in the future. Do I hope it will? Of course!  I would love to go out again, but what is meant to be, will be!

The 2014 me decided to be honest and tell him the next night before he left that I was thinking about him. I figure I have nothing to lose, except for regretting not saying what was on my mind at the time. We texted a bit and I got a good vibe, but what happens next is anyone's guess!

At the very least I put myself out there, I opened up, and had an amazing time.


Monday, July 28, 2014

Reunited, and it Feels so Good!....Twenty..Years..

One thing is for sure, I didn't feel nearly old enough to have been attending my 20 year high school reunion this past weekend! Living the childfree lifestyle really keeps you young...(or so I like to say)

The thing about 20 years is, everyone's divorced now! When you show up to your five year divorced, you kinda feel like a failure. (who? me?) But 20? Everybody's doing it!

An old friend tried to teach me to two step before saying that I sucked at it. I was all... "why is there a three count in the two step?!" I think it's actually the dance that sucks!

While in the middle of a photo op, he pulled me in and laid a real-life-open mouth-kiss on me. After I realized what was happening (I guess that does happen like people say..it takes a few seconds) I pushed him away! (even though, that's the most action I've seen in over 18 months) It was in front of everyone, and ON MY CAMERA, and inappropriate. I wasn't mad, just shocked. He's a real ladies man, and I told him I am not the kind of girl that falls for his game! I meanI'm one of the few good ones left!

Since I'd had some vodka-club soda's, I told another one of my guy friend's that my Mom thinks we should get married, and we had a good laugh. I tell her all the time, he is not my type, no way. He seems like a total player!  He asked me out a couple times, but I never really thought he was serious. People would says he likes me, but this time I told him "we're friends" and he said "they say that is how things start". Touche!

So the next day we messaged a few hours on facebook, and after all of this time I finally decided, what's the harm? He's not a stranger, and if nothing else, we will have a good time, right? In the spirit of being more spontaneous in 2014, he "I can maybe do that" and I replied "when that maybe becomes a definite, you let me know and I'll clear my calendar". Or something equally as witty.

Go me, right?

So we planned a dinner/drinks date for the following Saturday. Then today he texted he forgot he has a wedding and I probably didn't want to go, so could we move our date to Friday...I said sure. He replied "I figured you didn't want to go to a wedding". So, spontaneous me said I'll go to the wedding, they are fun.

Here's to new beginnings, or continuing old friendships. Either way, going out with a guy is kind of what a girl should be doing after being single 3 years, and celibate almost as long.  Right?

Monday, July 21, 2014

The Downside of Pets...

I can only think of one downside to having pets and that is...having to say goodbye.



This weekend, I said goodbye to the most perfect cat in the universe, my Fizzgig!

Fizzgig had a motor purr that you could hear rooms away, and there was rarely a time that she was not running that motor! Secretly "the favorite" she always came when called, never turned down a snuggle, and loved her whisker lickin' treats more than anything else.

Everyone loved her because she had the most gentle temperment, despite her "grumpy face". 

She had been getting frequent urinary tract infections, and had kidney disease for about a year. She was managing the kidney thing pretty well with her incessant drinking, and diet. Other than that you'd never know there was a thing wrong with her. 

This past week she started hiding...and she never hides. Even when she was sick with a UTI, she was more lethargic, but always around me.

So I made a Saturday appointment suspecting another UTI. But Thursday night, in the span of a couple of hours, she was purring, laying down...and slowly rolled to her side, took a deep breath, and essentially..."died" for a couple seconds. It was very unexpected and I called my Mom hysterical.

We agreed that if she seemed to be in no pain, to just let her go. The first couple times I shook her, and she came out of it dazed, and went about her business eating, drinking, using the litter box..but she'd hide in the kitty tunnel, and did the same thing a dozen or so times. 

I changed her appointment to the next day, and all night I layed with her, battling with the decision to put her down. 

Mr. Magoo wanted to be near her the last day, he has the sweetest soul..

At the vet, she told me that her heart rate was really, really slow, especially given that she was at the vet. She said we should do an xray to see what's going on with it. And really, what did it matter? Her heart was obviously affected enough so that it stopped beating several times the previous night.

As hard for me as it was, and as awful as it sounded coming out of my mouth I said " she's almost sixteen, and I don't want to put her through anything else to prolong her suffering, I can't watch her go through another night like we had, so I think it's time to let her go". 

Deep down I knew I was going there to euthanize her.

She leaves a big hole in my heart, but also in the kitty hearts of these guys...

Her 14 year old son Peekachu


And 14 year old daughter Fozzie

More than my sadness, her babies have never known a life without her, and it's the first time in losing a pet that I have had to deal with real pet grief, which makes it all that more difficult to move on from.


Fizzie lovin the boxed wine!

We lose pets all the time, and it's never easy. However, I am really missing my little "gigabyte"...we had a special bond.

To some, seems I've had a bout of "bad luck" with my pets lately, but they have all lived well into their teens, and I am grateful for that. I've taken very good care of them, and they have lived long, happy, lives as adored little additions to my life.

R.I.P. little Fizzgig. 1998-2014



Tuesday, July 15, 2014

My Life Has Gone to the Dogs....

I have been somewhat busy, work, gym, (losing 15lbs!!!), interviewing for an open position, to which I can not find any qualified people for the money we want to pay. (didn't I just do this?)

Having an open position at work is somewhat stressful on the rest of us, and so time has been getting away from me!

For fun, I've been getting my new dog use to his new home, (a month already!) getting him on a routine, and finding the right barricade to keep him locked in the kitchen all day with his brother! He has proved a master escape artist!

First I got the little extension because he jumped the regular gate that kept Magoo in for 4 years. Then, he climbed this. Then, he opened it and let both dogs out! Now, I have two regular size baby gates. So far, so good!

He is way more needy of my attention than my Mr. Magoo is, so I feel like I need to spend more time with the dogs now. But, not like I had anything else going on, and the extra walks are beneficial for me as well!

Lookin fly from the beauty salon! The groomer said he acted like a pro!

He's been vetted, microchipped, and groomed. He's officially mine now. But, I think Mr. Magoo may argue that he is officially his now.

Snuggles!


Bo's first trip to the lake

After about three walks, they learned how to walk side-by-side and not get tangled up, and trip me

It really feels good to have not only taught Magoo how to be a dog after years of cage isolation in a puppy mill, but now I have an "unruly dog" turned angel-in-training! Everyone who meets Bo asks "who would want to give this dog away?" It just goes to show that when people say they have bad dogs, they should look at themselves! 

Saturday, July 05, 2014

I'm Ready For My Close-Up...


Mr. Bohannon is fitting in really well in his new home, and he's learned how he is not in charge really quickly. He is now allowed off his leash in the yard under supervision now and then. 


And, watch out Hollywood...Mr. Bohannon picked up this trick in no time!!

Friday, June 27, 2014

Vacation! (All I Ever Wanted!)...

I'm going on vacation!!!

food, wine, fun!

I don't get out much. And aside from that, The furthest down the coast I've been is South Carolina (which I absolutely love, and when I'm rich I'll have a winter home in Charleston). Sure, I'm lucky to have a sister in Virginia Beach, so I get to travel there every year with free room and board, and stay a mile from the beach, and I'm very thankful for that.

But guess what else I have? One of my longest friends that lives in Orlando, FL...and not only that...she WORKS FOR DISNEY!!! Cue the magic!

What have I been waiting for???

This October, I will fly to sunny Florida for the food and wine festival at Disney, where I will partake in foods, wine, music, girl time,  and the magic of DISNEY!! I'm not ashamed to say that at 38 I'm probably more excited about going to Disney than most kids are!

I get entrance to Disney...FOR FREE! We are getting a suite at the hotel for the wine festival...FOR FREE! I get to go to the Animal Kingdom...FOR FREE! (animals!!! eek!)  And guess what else? She's taking me on an hour road trip to Vero Beach so that I can experience the pretty side of Florida!



I mean, we even already have dinner reservations at an Epcot restaurant...it must be good!

I had a really hard time deciding to take this trip since my #1 goal this year has been saving money, and paying off my credit debt so that I can buy a house next year...but then I decided that I freaking deserve it, its cheaper than going to see my sister, and honestly... once I buy a house, I'll have even more reasons not to take a vacation.

Watch out, Florida...here I come!

Saturday, June 21, 2014

A New Life Partner...

I know you were all excited that I finally met someone, right? But this post is not about MY life partner, it's about a life partner for my dog Mr. Magoo!

Mr. magoo posing with his pool...

Being a puppy mill breeder, Magoo has always loved other dogs! So, I've been on the lookout for a while now for the right dog to live with us, and be his new best friend..it's not easy to make a match. The dogs are the ones to decide if they will be friends, and then I have my three senior cats to worry about on top of that!

We've had a few trials. 

But after years of  looking at potential dogs...we have officially adopted a new life partner for Mr. Magoo! 


Mr. Bohannon with his tennis ball!!! (named after my man crush on the show Hell on Wheels)

A friend of a friend found him as a puppy about six months ago, and didn't have time to care for a dog, and wanted to find a loving home for him. I took him on a weekend trial,  but after the first night it was clear that he was meant to be mine. 

He and Mr. Magoo played for hours their first meeting, and my cats didn't mind him at all after a couple of hours. He is around a year old, and I'm not sure what kind of dog he is until I take him to my vet, but the previous owner said the vet told her he is a shih tzu mix. I think he may be a maltese mix, he is really little, (about 6lbs) and has silky hair. 

This dog hit the jackpot coming to live with me, and  his previous owner couldn't have found a better home for this little guy!


Sleeping on the back of the couch...

rawhide!

This new little guy even spent the day at Grammas (my Moms house) with Mr. Magoo, and she agreed that he is a great dog! (good thing because she is my dog-sitter!)


After a much needed hair cut, we hit the park. Mr. Bohannon decided to survey the water safely from the bank, but true to form, Mr. Magoo got right in!

Life partners...at last!!