"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Wednesday, September 30, 2009


My latest most fascinating addiction is to this website:

Spark People

It's a free sight for tracking weight loss. You go there, and make a profile, and it keeps your food diary. You can search for your food you eat online on the site, or you can add your own.

I've been adding my own so I know the brand-specific things I use, are on there. You add all the nutritional content in yourself if you add your own.

Then you enter a start, and end date, and your weight loss goal. For instance, I want to lose 30lbs by April. So it told me to do that, I have to burn 384 calories a day, and consume 1400 calories a day.

BTW I burn on average 1,000 calories a day. I think thats why I get to eat 1400 calories.

It will also track your measurements for you. But I havn't measured myself.

It's pretty bad-ass, and I'm way excited that this will get me out of my slump!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Things Boys Do..

There are things I will never understand about boys, but if I did I may rule the world...

Why does it take a boy an hour to poop, but it takes me 2 minutes. This has nothing to do with it being their "alone time" cus single boys take an hour to poop too.

My theory is boys are dumb and obviously have no idea what the feeling to poop is? I mean, don't we all get the twinge, like...oh I gotta poo?

Sometimes you can feel it traveling thru the intestines, which I call a false alarm, its not ready to come out yet. It means, I'll have to go later. I think boys go sit on the shitter at that first twinge, and wonder why they can't crap.

I also go like, twice a day. I think boys try to get it all out at once. They like to finish a task, put their seal on it.

Honestly, is there a logical answer? I'm gonna have to email this one to Dr. Oz. Because I don't know any girls that take an hour to poop, but every boy does. Maybe it has to do with having balls?

I also don't know any girls that get drunk and pee on things in their "sleep". This weekend, I heard another story, making it 5 boys I know that have done this. Peeing in closets, on other people, in corners....I know you have a story of a boy who peed in their sleep, right?

Then there is my ex, that peed the freaking bed. How do you get to be 30 something, and pee the bed? Oh, ....drugs! That's probably the most unattractive thing...EVER.

Oh, sorry honey did I wake you up pissing on your back? My bad!

Or, my favorite excuse was

"it's not pee, I have night sweats"

I'm happy to report that my manfriend has not peed on me, or in my corners. And if he pees on my toilet ive seen him wipe it off. You can't have him. I'm already devising a plan to steal him for myself. He's my perfect fit.

Oh yea, who watched trauma? That show was pretty good!! Except for I didn't like seeing that girl bang her partner in the squad car. Seeing how my manfriend had a girl partner forever, and lots of free time, it turned my stomach. Bleh.

I don't like to have bad thoughts like that. But sometimes they sneak in!

I heart Fall...

This was Friday at my house. So pretty! It's a classic fall sky!

My weekend consisted of staying up Friday and cleaning out my closets. I can now fit all my clothes in the closet, and I can wear them all. I got rid of my too big clothes, and the small ones I was holding on to, that were simply out of style.

It felt good. Slowly I'm getting rid of all my crap.

Saturday I got my hair done! It was lovely to have a cut and color, it had been 4 months since I had both. Now, I'm poor again but I'm use to it. Next pay I want to buy new sneakers. So my feet aren't all blistered up and sore. And a new bra, because my only white one thats not missing an underwire is black, (and not cus its suppose to be) and i have to twist it in the middle twice so it fits me.

I went to the neighbors with my manfriend for the OSU game, and she gave people invites to be in the wedding, so its official I'm a bridesmaid!

Me and my manfriend left a smidge early to um, you know, have some couple time, and then we went to the winery for posterity. It was cold and rainy, and he was cute enough to give me his jacket. I heart him buckets!

Sunday we went to Sonic for breakfast (mmm sonic) and to get movies, and had a day of doing nothing but snuggling under the comforter and watching movies, and doing laundry.

Personally, I could have done without the laundry but you know, its a necessity!

Friday, September 25, 2009

As they say in church...Praise Jesus!

It's pay day.

I have but $40 going to the garnishment.

Aside from not having money saved up to live on after rent and bills, I'm on my way back out of the hole!

I mean, I actually paid money to a credit card, I didn't have to pay. You know, an extra payment. Plus I paid the dentist.

Now if I could just buy a new bra and shoes....in time......

Things are looking up!

I also get my hair done. It's only been 4 months.

And, I'm going on a date with my manfriend to the winery where we first met, for our anniversary. Awwwwwww! I'm so excited!

And, I scheduled my vacation. I took off 3 days week after next. THREE days, plus the weekend, means FIVE non working days. And time off around my birthday and holidays.

It's good to be me!

Thursday, September 24, 2009


Would it be mean of me to say my annoying coworker is like an untrainable dog?

I've been training her to do my job, because its my job to cross train everyone. She thinks she knows a better way to do everything, wont listen, and I watch her fuck up and say see, back here on page 42 it said to do this, and you didn't.

I have been working on extensive training manuals, which are snapshots of each step in the process, and she ignored it.

If I could write her up for being a dumbass. I would.

Best line ever delivered by my boss in a meeting with annoying coworker Monday....

"It's obvious you are unhappy here, and that's unfortunate, maybe for your own peace of mind you should look for another job"

ha ha hah aha hha ha hah a I love my boss.

Eat the Rich...

So at work I had to attend yet another Diversity Class. Actually, I had one as an hourly employee that was required, then you are required to take 4 more as management. I took three last year and missed one, so I had to make it up to get credit for it. Work makes you take classes.

Continuous improvement or some shit.

This one was fun! You signed up to be a Sun (2 members) a Moon (4 members) or a Star (everyone else). I wanted to be a star. Each group represented a community. We each got a basket of "basic needs" each member had to have 1 fork, 1 plate, 1 napkin, 1 cup, 1 bottle of water, and as a community a bag of chips and a bag of pretzels.

You could use what you had to barter with the other groups to see what they had extra to offer, and there was a bonus to the group with the most extra things.

Being a star meant you were poor. We didn't have enough for each of us, which meant we had nothing to barter with.

The moral was the suns had way more than enough but wouldn't barter fairly, or give us anything. The moons, or middle class, gave us the only surplus they had, which was 1 fork and 1 napkin.

We offered to merge with the suns so we would have more than enough, and all be taken care of. The suns only wanted to keep their wealth and not help us.

It was really true to life.

The rich get richer.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Raisens in the Sun...

On Saturday, I went to the Yankee Peddler Festival with my girlfriend Heather.

At said festival, I saw the most disturbing thing that is going thru my mind all the time. We stood in the longest line known to man for a ruben (omg i got turkey...THE BOMB) and the woman who took our money was pretty old, I don't know but I'd guess maybe in her 70's. She was really wrinkly.

They wear these "old time" clothes, and she bent over, and I saw right into her dress.

I saw her boobs. Her boobs were wrinkly, and pretty much just hangy wrinkled skin, like big raisens. I don't think you can even say they were boobs.

I told my girlfriend what I saw, and I was really bummed out. That would be us one day. To think about getting old, really scares me. Then, thinking that thinking that will cause me to die an early death scares me more.

This is why I have to live in the moment. The future scares me. I thought I was over the image burned in my mind, until I didn't have any bran flakes at home and had to buy the closest thing at work for breakfast.


With raisens.


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

They Always Come Back...

I may have mentioned that I've not ever dated a person who didn't come back and realize what a douche they were, and how I'm the best thing that ever happened to them and they screwed up royally, and would do anything to have me.

Ok, so maybe not so dramatic, but they do come back.

The ex fiance tried to friend me on facebook, but I didn't accept it. I'm not the kind of person who likes to have anything to do with exes. You cant be friends with someone who saw you naked.

I especially wouldn't like to think of some skank (of course my manfriend only dated skanks, right?) picturing my manfriend naked whenever she's around. *puke* I'm so glad he was a virgin when we met! (I am allowed to have dillusions)

Anyway the ex messaged me, and told me that he's been celebate for two years (my guess would be it's because he super stinks in the sack) and not to feel bad for him. He had gone back to prison I think for two years, for writing false prescriptions, the same reason he had to go to rehab. Yea, I really picked some winners!

(oh long story short the ex was a big junkie with the pain pills, and worked for a carpet cleaner, and would steal old peoples prescriptions, and jewelry to fund his habit. He lived off of me like a sponge while I worked two jobs, and he didn't pay for anything but drugs. He also stole checks from his ex stepdaughter, and wrote himself checks to buy drugs, and printed prescriptions off the internet)

So, yea I don't think I'm missing anything, and making him leave was the best thing I ever did.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Now you gotta Kiss me...

You didn't miss much in my life since I havn't blogged. I've been working on training manuals at work. Cross training, and trying to make a team out of people who don't get along. The latest with the annoying coworker is her husband that worked with us (in maintenance) was let go and got a new job. She's telling all the mantenance guys that our work sucks. And they should work there and make more money. It got back to their boss, and to me. She's going to be counseled. Again.

I wonder if they need any secretaries? Maybe she should find out.

I remember last winter or so, manfriend told me to buy a new car battery cus I had to have my car jumped a couple times. I remember I forgot. Last week I stopped at the circle K after work, and then my car just died. My neighbors were at the beach too, and my brother was at work til 12. I felt trapped. Luckily my girlfriend came to rescue me, and a nice young man hooked the cars up so we didn't explode.

That is, after I figured out how to open my trunk with no battery to get my jumper cables. My trunk remote didn't work. And I don't even have a keyhole to use my key. (whose bright idea is that?) I was trying to pull down the back seat so I could crawl thru into the trunk when my girlfriend asked if I had a trunk release in the car.

What a dumbass. Technology has spoiled us all!

My car subsequently died again, and we had to jump it to take it to Advanced auto. They told me my battery was in the wheel well and that they couldn't put it in for me. I was like, uh, we just jumped it twice. The dick didn't believe us and had to look for himself. So I took my business to Autozone.

Guess how much the cheapest battery was for my car? $79 bucks. It's large enough to probably run a small household on. I only drive a Stratus, not a freaking tank. I used a couple credit cards to make this happen, because I may have mentioned, I have a garnishment on my check, and Chase decided to close my only account with a substantial available balance. (I'm not bitter or anything)

P.S. It's my two year anniversary today with my manfriend! It sure went fast!!!

Monday, September 14, 2009

I don't like kids...

I'm at Aldi on Sunday with the manfriend. Aldi if you don't know, is one of those grocery stores with no "overhead" ...generic, if you will. So, you have to pay a quarter to unlock a shopping cart, and you get it back when you hook it back to the shopping cart train.

I am taking the cart back, and theres a freaking kid at the cart return who asked me could he take my cart back for me.

Why don't you just ask me for a quarter? A better idea may be asking people in the PARKING lot to take their carts back. Standing at the cart return, after people have come to return their carts, and asking to return peoples carts is sheer laziness.

Reason 789,532,987 not to have kids. I might one day make them go to Aldi to beg for quarters cus I couldn't put the cookies down.

Ask me for my quarter. It wasn't even MY quarter, it was my manfriend's! I'm shopping at Aldi cus I'm broke too. Not cus I enjoy the atmosphere.

P.S. Here I go with no carbs. gulp.

Friday, September 11, 2009


I'm addicted to carbs and sugar. I know this because when I get a taste, there is no statisfying me. Just like a drug. I want more. I am so full I could puke, but I still want more. A loaf of bread? Yes, please!

This is whats holding me back from my weight goal. I've got the exercise thing down pat. 5-6 days a week, 50-115 minutes a day.

I tell myself I have to workout cus I like to eat. But really, I dont like to workout as much as I like to eat.

It makes me feel good and when I dont work out i can see a significant change in my mood. I need the endorphines it supplies my brain. That natural high.

However, I've been sustaining (nevermind the recent weight gain) the same weight for about a year now. Something has to change. And I find that workingout on my lunch hour, and an hour after work is pretty much all I'm prepared to give to exercise.

I eat good mostly. But I do have those moments several times a week where I am out of control with carbs or sugar. One step forward, two steps back.

This leads me to my next endeavor. I'm giving up simple carbs and refined sugar for 5 days next week. Monday, thru Friday. I'll eat it naturally in veggies and fruit. I am hoping that what "they" say is true and after 5 days you don't miss them.

Here's to hoping I make it. As a plus, if you know me, you might want to stay away from me, I'm gonna be a total bitch.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009


It's depressing to be back from a long weekend already. It's depressing to think that me and the manfriend finally nailed down going "out of town" together, and it's not til December. It's equally sad, that "out of town" is to Berlin/Sugarcreek, which is like 15 minutes from my house. Amish country. We went year before last it was romannnntic. (See some pics here) But I'd love to go to the beach.

I'm thankful to save money to go out of town at all. It will be nice.

I took my car to get the tire mounted this weekend. I interrupted the douchebag from watching/reading his pornography. He left the office door open, where I could clearly see his shenanigans.

He mounted my wheel onto the rim and told me that the rim was ruined, and he did not want to put the rim on my car because the lug nuts were stripped and he could potentially strip my studs and strand me.


Manfriend put new lug nuts on the car, and said if it needed studs he could do it (thats right, ladies) but didn't end up having to do it. I'm so happy to have a handy man! There's nothing like it!

We spent the weekend relaxing, which was freaking awesome!!

Friday, September 04, 2009

You Might Be a Redneck If...

You use your coffee pot as a candle warmer.

I save my scraps to put in my tart warmers, but I don't even have tea lights to burn those. So I thought, I sure wish I had a candle warmer.

And this idea was born.

Actually, I think it's quite brilliant. I'm getting right back into the swing of things with being poor. It's like riding a bike. I'm also getting use out of all those half used lotion and shampoo bottles I've saved over the years. I knew I would need them.

P.S. who can guess what that white object is on the right?

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Here Piggy Piggy....

Do you guys remember that song by Green Jello....the three little pigs?

Are you calling me old? It's totally on my old school 90's mix CD I made for free with limewire.

Along with "Shakespear's Sister/Stay" incidentally, I never knew that chick was so horrid looking until I just youtubed it. We didn't have cable growing up, so no MTV.

You would probably love my CD, it's bad-ass!

I am talking about the H1N1 virus. The swine flu. When I took my mental health day at work, they had a huge company meeting about it, lasting two hours. They MADE a book. It's tabbed just the same way all about causing mass hysteria over the swine flu.

How to not come to work if you have it or your family has it.

How you have to call each day with a swine flu update.

How to make electrolyte drinks, in case you can't leave home. (can't leave home?) (Which btw sounds disgusting it has BAKING soda in it!)

They are working on a policy if too many people get it, we are shutting down.

I mean seriously, this is just like the time they told us all in a major disaster meeting to call a number for emergency updates, in case of a storm, then we get 3 feet of snow, a state-wide driving ban, and we all call the number and it says we are open.

Oh, the common denominator there is, it's a waste of everyone's time.

We're not getting raises, our 401k is not being matched, but we all got a massive swine flu book. I honestly don't know what is wrong with the world today.

Reason 567,453,098 not to have kids. According to my book, you are going to die first, those little nose pickers are breeding grounds for the pig flu.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009


So I took Tuesday off work. My boss told me I needed a mental health day. I couldn't agree more. Although all I did was eat and sleep.

My visit to the gyno was lovely. I know this sounds strange but having gone to planned parenthood for 3 years, it's a welcome thought to have gone to a place where the dr spent 15 minutes talking to me, and didn't walk in and say "take off your clothes".

While I have put on weight in recent weeks, the dr was impressed that I'd lost so much weight since my last visit. She told me years back I had to lose at least 10lbs cus my ueterus was falling. It was more official than that, but you get the picture.

Going from eating primarily fruits/veggies and turkey to eating mostly carbs because its all I can afford, has made a huge impact on my weight loss efforts. I know people say all the time you can eat healthy cheap, but I'm far too picky for that. I don't like canned or frozen veggies much, and I'd rather eat cheese and bread. If I have fresh, I would opt to eat that over the bad stuff.

I got my tire off yesterday, for $16. They put my donut on, and I have to wait 2 wks til I can hopefully afford to get my older tire remounted and put on.

I also have to cancel my hair appointment this weekend. It's been almost 2 months since ive had it cut. And soon, my roots will take over my head. I don't like this slumming it business, feeling like crap doesn't mean you have to look like it too.

Reason 349.567,823 not to have kids. I'd be way, way more poor than I am now if I had other mouths to feed, that said things like "this is crap" and "im not eating that". Reason 567,890 not to have kids, I'd smack the shit out of their ungrateful asses. Reason #1 not to have kids...I'd wind up in jail.

In other news. I'm still in love with my cute manfriend, and I get to see him tonight, and when I'm with him everything feels just fine!