"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Friday, September 29, 2006

Death By Underwire...

Did you watch Ugly Betty. How awesome is that show? I think I'm giving up step aerobics. Not just because of the following story, but I'm bulking up in the butt and legs, and I read in my Michael Thurmond book, that for my body type I should NOT do step aerobics. Walking is better. So....Boring walking for me it is. I'm going to try to find a used Ipod or something at the record exchange to make it more interesting. And I'll do it at the gym on the track, cus it's fun to lap people.

I thought I was hot shit last night at the gym. I did 2 miles on the track before my step aerobics class. I thought, Shit, I'm going to put a riser under my step tonight. I've gotten pretty use to the workout without one, so I wanted a challenge. Nevermind that it's only the first week working out an hour before class, I'm made of steel, right? Wrong.

The whole reason I take classes is because I care what people think, even if they don't think at all. (a wise Dr. Phil once said, you wouldn't care so much about what people thought, if you knew how often they didn't think about you...or something to that effect) If I work out at home, I give up when the going gets tough. But last night, the tough got going. About 5 minutes into the class, my underwire snapped in my bra. At first I wasn't for sure what happened, until the metal worked itself out, and into my boob. It happened in such a way that it either pinched my skin between the two exposed metal ends, or, jabbed me constantly.

So, my mind started: "I need to go to the bathroom. No, they will think I'm pussing out. Tough it out. God my legs hurt. Squeeze. How many more of these can we possibly do? Shit, It's stabbing me. Breathe. OMG I'm gonna puke. Ok, I'll stop moving my arms for a while. I wonder if that's sweat, or blood? My legs won't give out. Oh god, 20 more minutes. I need to go get a drink. Ok, so your boob hurts, big deal. "

By the time I was done talking to myself, class was over, and I got to my car and set free my stabbed breast. Who cares if their lop sided, this was serious business. I was parked near the building, and in between 2 cars, neither of which were girls from my class so I decided to asess the damage, in the least conspicuous way possible.

There I am, left boob in hand, pushed up, fat stomach hanging out, looking in my rearview mirror at my puncture wound when I happen to sense movement to my left. Sure, some guy was parked right next to me. All I saw was his car, and his legs, because God knows I didn't look at him. I pulled my shirt down and turned the other way. I wanted to leave but then he'd get a better look at who I was. As if seeing my rack wasn't a good enough look.

By the way, that was blood dripping down my stomach. I have a nice purple puncture right along the bra line, which feels fantastic today, and looks even better!

Needless to say I'm completely humiliated. I don't even know who it is to hide from him should I see him at the gym. All I know, is he drives a maroon chevy, has hairy legs, and navy shorts. I. Want. To. Die. I keep telling myself that it's very possible he didn't see anything. And at least I covered the nipple!

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Just Like a Clock I Tick and I Tock...

A lady at work is retiring in her 50's. I'm so jealous. She also has no kids and always told me that's the way to go. I got to get on the ball with planning my future too...who will care for me when I'm old if I don't have a husband or kids? I always tell myself, thats no reason to have kids, cus thats like, 40 years with kids I dont really want only to hope that I dont piss them off enough to put me in a home when I'm decrepit.

I bought a Hoover Wind tunnel a year ago. Bagless, cus with 4 cats and 2 rabbits and a dog, you go thru a ton of sweeper bags, and you'd be suprised how much crap it sucks up daily. The stupid thing clogs up once a week. The tube that sucks it from the ground gets packed full of hair. So I have to pull globs of it out of the tube, by taking it apart at the very least once a week. I'm not sure, but doesn't this defeat the purpose of vacumming?

I bought this stuff by Kaboom you dump it in the toilet, and it foams up to the top of the rim, and cleans the toilet for you. NOW THAT'S TECHNOLOGY PEOPLE!

I have wine in my fridge that is 1 year and 3 months old, with a cap off of it, yet I refuse to throw it away cus I just might be in the mood to drink it one day. Yet, I'm afraid to try it cus it might be bad. Does that make sense?

I also have about 5 shampoo bottles with 1 use left in them. Cus one day, I might run out of shampoo and need that little bit. Nevermind that it's not even Redkin, that I use on a regular basis. Maybe I'll have a hair emergency?

Speaking of being a pack rat. I save the little bit of each candle that burns down. I put it into baggies according to scents. I've got a buttload of these things. One day I might make wax lips or something, fucked if I know. I tell myself that I'll make candles, but I wont. I also save my Yankee candle jars. I put shit in these though.

If I could win the lottery I really would keep all the money and not help anyone because once you give someone money, everyone will want some! I'm just being honest.

My calves are considerably thinner, and I have ankles. Nevermind that I havn't lost any weight. It's the little things.

CP caught my ick from last week. The ick I'm still hacking up. Do you think he'll take medicine? Or drink water? Hell no, but he'll sure as shit complain about being sick. See why I shouldn't be a mother? I am not a nurterer.

I hate when microsoft word tries to correct your text when you are typing. I forgot to turn this feature off, while typing a perennial catalog. Ever seen perennial names? Cruciferae, Ericaceae, Rosaceae, Arctotis, Arctostaphylos.......yea, Word changed half of these into even more fucked up words. I had to recheck 30 pages of varieties and their definitions. Fucking. Boring. I know you're jealous!

My rabbits got their treats thru the top of their cage, and ate the entire bag. Literally, they ate the bag. Sure, they ate the treats too, but now I'm on poop patrol to make sure they poop it all out. Rabbits have sensetive poopers. I have the best life ever!

At aerobics yesterday we listened to all Madonna songs. It rocked!

CP said he is taking me somewhere in December. And I need to take a day off work, for a long weekend. It's a suprise. I'm going to go ahead and assume he's taking me on a cruise, because that makes me happy. A girl can dream.

I found the cutest nose screw online. It's a diamond flower. It's only $119. I'll never afford it. Live in the now. Wanna buy me something?

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

It's A Dog's Life...

Hump day already? How did that happen? Idiot of the week for me. I monitor and answer our website's emails. Today? I got one from some yahoo asking if plants have feelings signed, concerned. I wish I had nothing better to do than litter up a companies web mail, with useless questions. That's certainly not the stupidest one, but it was stupid alright. The sad thing is, in this day and age it could very well be serious, and we could be sued for torture to plants. Some people are that retarded.

So, I spent my first 2 hour night at the gym in about 2 years. Ummmm....can I win some kind of award for that? I'm seriously feelin it today. My arms especially. So, guess what I did? I signed a petition to have our class moved back to 5:30. Two hours is too long, and it's way better to get home at 7 vs. 7:30. I also made friends. Well...maybe not friends yet, but in the 5 months I've been going there no one really talks to me. I'm shy. We have 2 new girls in class and they asked me all sorts of questions, I felt so freaking smart. We talked about the boy who teaches on Thursday after class. I'm so sociable!

And, since I worked out so hard, I decided I deserved not to walk my dog. Who, only walks for about 15 min before she poops out anyways. Around 9 I decided to start feeling guilty as she layed staring into space. She doesn't do anything. That short trip is all she has to look forward to. I'm a horrible mother. So..what did I do? I tried to get her to walk on the treadmill.

Now, before you think it's cruel, I watch this shit on The Dog Whisperer all the time. It's for people who lead busy lifestyles. He ties their leash to the stand, and you call the dog to walk. And the dogs freaking love it! My dog? Not so much. She spread her legs out and laid on her belly like she was sliding on ice Bambi style. She even turned to the side and stopped herself from moving back by getting stuck on the foot rest. It was funny, but not.

I tried picking her up and moving her feet, and holding her belly up, she couldn't grasp the concept of it, and I gave up after about 5 minutes. I was afraid she'd get belly burn from laying there. She stopped the treadmill a few times because I slowed it down so much for her. Before I ruined my expensive equipment. I threw the towel in. Funny thing though, she was super energized after her pull on the treadmill, and ran around for a little bit. I guess it's cus I kept telling her what a good girl she was.

You know, when she was a teeny puppy I walked her half way around the block, and she stopped walking. Much in the same way. Feet sprawled out. I tried dragging her, she wasn't having it. I had to pick her lazy ass up, and carry her home. Nice way to walk the dog, I was so embaressed.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Smells Like Teen Spirit....

Today's Tell it to me Tuesday, brought to you from Janet at The Art of Getting by (go sign up yourself, it's fun) is as follows:

What are some of your favorite smells and is there a reason attached to why you like them so much? And in a two parter, what smells can't you stand and why?

Let me first start off by saying I have a bad sniffer. I can't smell everything, and I can't say that I'm altogether upset about that. Usually it's when someone says "euw! Do you smell that?" I can gladly say....No. No, I can't smell it.

Now, this doesn't exclude me from really gross smells, or pleasant ones, and I don't know why or how or when it comes or goes. Usually, it's generic candles I can't smell. I have two companies I buy from, Yankee Candle, and Kinfolk Candles (a local brand from my hometown comparible to Yankee!)

My favorite smells, are of course, candles. And other than candles, food is a close second. Something about a pot roast makes me think of home. I don't know why either because my mom didn't make it all that often. There is this produce store, Shaeffer's, that has a certain smell. I'm not sure what it is, so I'll say I love the store smell. Something about it reminds me of my childhood. Is it fresh and clean? Or, is it a mix of all the fruits and vegetables? I'm not sure. For all I know it could be pesticides. But, it's one of those smells that brings back that memory of being young.

I'm also a sucker for Gain laundry detergent, fabric softner, and dryer sheets. I love to wash my blankets and pull them from the dryer and smell them. There is nothing more cozy than curling up on a cold night with a yummy comfy blanket. God, I wish I was at home right now.

My cats. Go ahead and laugh it up. But honest to god, my cats smell like baby powder. I don't use anything on them to make them smell good, and they get a bath once every year or longer. They naturally smell delicious. I can lay my head on them and smell them and feel comforted. Ok, that makes me sound like a crazy cat lady, but really...I'm not. Yet.

I think it's powdered sugar I smell that reminds me of my Gma on my Dad's side. Because whenever I smell this smell, it reminds me of the toast she made us, that we can never re-create. She made us wheat toast (I'd never eat this or crust at home) with butter, and powdered sugar. But it was a perfect mix, so that the butter didn't suck up all the powdered sugar. I have never been able to make it the same way. Pancakes remind me of my Gma on my Mom's side. You always woke up to the smell of pancakes, and breakfast was always ready it didn't matter what time you woke up.

Smells I can't stand? Ugh, #1 on my list with no thinking twice...POPCORN! I don't know why, but it makes me nauseus. It's not that I hate popcorn, I'll sometimes eat kettle corn, carmel corn, cheese corn and the occassional buttered popcorn, but to smell it? Bleh. When people ask me why, I just say I think it is because I work in an office. It's something you smell every day, and I can't stand it. The guy I share an office with, eats that shit all the time! Going to the movies? Most people LOVE the smell of popcorn, it makes me want to gag. Can you believe they make a popcorn candle? Why?

Gum. This goes along with my gum phobia, I can't stand to look at it, smell it, touch anything that's touched it, including the wrapper, and the smell makes me want to puke. I don't care what flavor it is. I think it is the most disgusting thing in the world, to chew on something for hours and not swallow it. It traps all the shit in your teeth, yet you chomp away on it? That is a serious phobia.

People love to tease me with it, but seriously, knock it off. The whole time someone is chewing it I'm thinking please don't touch me. I know they've touched it. I won't even kiss someone if they have chewed it and I know about it. The only bad memories I have pertaining to gum, is once it was stuck on a spoon when I was like 7 years old. I remember from that point on, I would not use the spoons with that pattern because there was no way of knowing which spoon it was on. (I think this also sparked my plastic fork usage) So, I know it started young. So, anything bubble gum scented, flavored, stay the fuck away from me with that shit!

My dog. She smells. I bathe her twice a week with tea tree oil, but for 2-3 days a week she smells still, like nothing you can imagine. She has skin allergies, so she's constantly shedding her skin, and stanking up the house. It's horrible. Thus, the reason I burn a billion candles, to cover it up.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Mean Girls..

I left my clothes in the washer overnight, and tried to dry out the musty stench but I still smell me. I sprayed a ton of spray on me, so once that wears off I'm doomed. I think I ate some bad chicken at the Yankee Peddler this weekend. I spent yesterday with pain from my toes to my hair. Puking. I ate like 3 bites of this nasty chicken kabob. It was weird chicken. I only like the breast. Bleh. I'll write about that later in the week. I got some good pictures. Like, of Kat, who was afraid to go in the butterfly exhibit, so she stood outside.

We joined a new video rental joint, because they lured us in with an advertisement. Buy one get one free rentals for new customers for 30 days. It's unlimited. You know theres a catch, right? We went to rent movies, and had 6 movies picked out. You get them for a whopping 3 days, but we burn them and watch them later.

The checkout dude told us "for the first few weeks a new customer rents, we like to build good faith and ask that you only rent 2 movies". Huh? So first of all, we spent 1/2 hour picking out movies for no reason, cus, this isn't advertised. All I have to say is screw Family Video, I'm sticking to the Movie Gallery. Thanks.

Since I get all my information from TV, I watched Dateline last week about 'mean girls'. It made me really happy I'm 30 years old, and not in high school, nor do I have kids that will be in high school. It never even occured to me the lengths you can now go to, to ruin someones life. They are putting pictures of the ugliest, most hated, biggest whores online, mainly myspace. Altering text messages, pictures and IM's and sending them to the person they are talking about, and starting fights with different people.

Um, no thanks...and good luck to all of you who will have teenagers. I thought it was bad when I read a note where someone said mean things about me, or dumped me. Now, that shit is online for your whole school to read? My advice to the youth of the world? Go into psychology. Something tells me this is going to be the #1 profession soon.

Hey! Have you seen the previews for the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre? I dunno about you all, but that's one of my all time favorite horror flicks! I really hope they don't go and ruin it. I think the re-make was awesome.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Thinking On The Throne...

Grey's Anatomy? *spoiler* McDreamy loves Meredith!! I loved what he said about her making a decision between him and Finn. "When I had a decision to make, I made the wrong one". Ugh, my heart melted. I loved that his WIFE found her panties, and took the time to wash, dry, and put them in a ziploc only to hang them on the bulliten board at work. Busted! I loved the flashbacks too, they reminded me of Lost! Speaking of....I missed Six Degrees. I put it in "" on Tivo and it didn't record. Bastards! CP is going to download it for me.

I was thinking while on the can the other day, about the ozone layer. Why, you might ask? I was reading the Lysol can, while outwaiting someone in the work restroom so I could do my business. Someone who I think was trying to outwait me, but I won. Anyhoo, Lysol contains no CFC's. Remember back in the Aquanet days (I was a pink can) when people use to yell at you for using an aerosol can? "You're killing the ozone layer!" So a lot of hairsprays switched to a pump spray which did nothing but flatten your perfect 'do? Back then, everything was on recycled paper. We actually celebrated Earth Day. It seemed like people cared about the world. What happened? Did we just stop ruining the ozone?

Know what else came to me on the toilet? A face! I saw some chick at our work party at the photographers last weekend. I asked my coworkers if they knew her. It drove me nuts for an entire week, and poof! She works at Bath & Body as a NARS rep. She did my eye make up. The one that made me look like a hussy.

Has your credit card company ever said this to you? "We want to work with you to rebuild your credit" Psh, don't buy it. I rolled over a big chunk from one onto a 0% card. The next day I check my balance thinking, finally, I'm under the limit right? Uh, too bad they changed my limit, to my exact balance. Just wishing, and hoping that I'm late again to charge me that ridiculous fee. Keep on wishing bitches, it aint gonna happen!

The other card, I transferred a big chunk onto the 0% card, the limit didn't drop, so I have some available credit. Yay! In case of a pet emergency, and nothing else. So what do they do to reward me? Lower my interest rate???? (they're both 29% mkay?) No, I get a letter in the mail, and they RAISED MY CREDIT LIMIT BY $1,000! You know, cus they care so much about me being a good customer. Assholes! They aren't going to be sucking me in with that temptation. Nuh-uhhhhh. I've been on the wagon with the credit cards for far too long.

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Happy first day of Fall! I took this on my 8 mile *pats own back* bike ride last night. The trail has the canal on one side, and a stinky, green partially dried up canal on the other. This is a bridge with a waterfall. It's really a pretty ride. Bugs in your mouth and everything. Some of the leaves were starting to turn. I can't wait until their all colorful. Yup, it's Fall alright, it got down into the 40's last night. I vow not to turn on the heat until November when I get company. If my Momma and Sis stand me up again let's all blame them for my freezing to death. Sounds like a plan.

I'm going to the Yankee Peddler this weekend with Kat. It's a big craft show set back when people lived in covered wagons and shit. Mostly stuff is too expensive, but theres some vendors we frequent each year. It'll be a killer time. You remember, last year Kat knocked me over on my ass and laughed about it forever? She's so freaking hateful. Wait until we are old ladies, and I break a hip.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Freeze Dried Fido...

Before you ask, no I havn't stopped complaining about being sick yet. I was up til 2 a.m. coughing up phlem. So, I took a sleeping pill and slept on the couch. Know what sucks about taking a sleeping pill at 2 a.m.? I have to be to work at 7:45, and I don't get a full 8 hours devoted to rest. That makes me a cranky bitch, Ok??

Another shitty thing about being out of it for days? Having to re-hydrate. Re-hydrating means pissing every 5 fucking minutes on the dot. I normally drink 4 liter's minimum of water. I have no idea how many cups or gallons that is, I just know, I fill up my bottle 3 times at work, and one for the road. I think I managed to drink a 2 liter of pop, in 3 days, and maybe 2 glasses of water. Man how do people live without proper hydration? You can tell. I feel puffy and bloated if I don't drink enough water. I did do a light 30 minute workout with the fitness ball yesterday. I felt lazy. And, I'm going to give working out a whirl at the gym tonight.

I get to go to yet another Bath & Body works party! This one is September 30th. Kat said it's a test store and that's why we get to go to all these cool events. Well, whatever the reason, all I know is that free shit kicks some freaking ass! Even CP is totally jealous, he said he wanted to go. Somehow I don't think he's interested in being a metrosexual. This time, I'm buying that aerosol evian water. Laugh if you must, that shit felt good on your face!

I don't remember if I ever talked about the latest craze in taxadermy. Freeze dried pets. I watched a show on Primetime about it. It's not like stuffing, it's actually your whole pet shaped into position, and put in an actual freezer. Freezing removes all the moisture naturally.

They seemed to be more squishy and less rigid when freeze dried. There was one woman in particular who had her cat let's call him 'fluffy' to protect his identity, freeze dried. He sits in a basket in her living room. She said she gets many compliments on how pretty her cat is, then she says "he's not alive". Kinda the saddest part of the show, was when she picked the cat up, and put him on her lap, and stroked him while doing the interview.

"Sometimes I can hear him purring" she said. "In your mind, right?" the interviewer said? "Oh, yes" she answered. You know that isn't what she meant. And I can't even rightfully make fun of the woman, because if I only had 1 pet and a grand to spare, I'd be hopping on the bandwagon too. The guy who does this service, seems to think that in time people will start freeze drying...um..people. I swear to God if I live long enough for this shit to happen, someone better freeze dry me.

The new Grey's Anatomy is on tonight!! For good measure, I watched the season finale last night, and cried, alot. Again. Also, I'm going to check out the new show Six Degrees. I decided against Jericho this year, because Entertainment Weekly already has it on their death watch list. Invasion was on the list last season. It was an awesome show, but it was still canceled. I'm still holding out for Sci Fi to pick it up. A girl can dream.

For anyone who missed the interview on The View with Janelle, Erika, and Mike Boogie of Big Brother, lucky for you, someone put it on You Tube. It's a must-see if you disliked the fact that Mike won.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Tell Me I Was Dreaming....

Know what happens when you're sick? You sleep. And, when you sleep a lot, you must run out of things to dream about so you start dreaming about your exes. I had several dreams about that cock knocker ex husband, and I only hope it doesn't mean I'll run into him. One of the dreams was about us getting back together. Say wha? Another was about us having casual sex, as if I would ever be that desperate? God, please don't ever let me be that desperate.

I also dreamt about the most recent ex, TWDSO. He came over in the middle of the night and got into bed with me and CP and told me to tell him to his face why I didn't want to be with him anymore. His friend was with him, and he was asleep on my couch. Once TWDSO left, I was hitting on his friend, while CP slept in the next room! When his friend left, there was my first love Chris! Who wanted to marry me! For some reason, all my exes came to haunt me while I was seriously sick. I blame it on being dillusional due to cough syrup overdose. It was like some sort of demented intervention. Back away from the men.....

While I was on my death bed, having whacked dreams, nothing sounded good to eat or drink, but I got a craving for a Blizzard from Dairy Queen, cus it would feel good on my throat. What is it with dogs and drive thru's? I take my dog everywhere, because she is my crutch. She can never understand the all-American concept of the drive thru window, or even the speaker.

When someone speaks, she goes nuts, runs around over me, and rolls down all the windows (not that she's trying, but rather too excited and pawing at the door handle) and whines. Then forget about it when she sees a person in the window, talking to her mother. She makes the strangest noises. I guess I could compare it to taking your hyper active child in public. It's kinda embaressing.

Talk about embaressing. I went out in public, sans bra, with 2 day dirty hair, sporting my pink Hello Kitty in school buses PJ shorts, and a 3 sizes too big T-shirt, and a bright red nose. Man, I even scared myself.

So, the Blizzard. Even if you havn't been able to eat much, don't think that a large Blizzard is a good idea. It's a 20 oz drink cup, so it doesn't appear to be that big, but in reality, thats a lot of freaking ice cream! I was full for hours from it. Even though I was in and out of sleep, my stomach hurt like nothing else. Robitussin, and dairy product is not a good mix.

I finished watching all my Lost episodes. Well, except the last one, because I decided to watch part 1 and 2 before the season premiere in October. Build up the momentum you know.
I also caught up on all my Tivo'd shows. On The Girls Next Door, they went to Europe, and were on a tour, where they said they wanted to meet the Queen. The tour guide said she was at the Chelsea flower show. The girls wanted to attend the show, and the tour lady said it was just for the royal family. That's bullshit, my boss goes to that show every year. It's the largest show in the world. We show one of our perennial lines there. So the lady was just too embaressed to take Hugh Hefner, and his 3 girlfriends to the show. I can't imagine why.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

If You Only Knew...

I'm doing tell it to me Tuesday this week, from over at The Art of Getting By and the question is:

What are the best albums you believe most people have never heard?

I wonder who I'll pick for this, oh who could it be? Oh yes, only the best singer/songwriter known to the universe...Edwin McCain. Any chance I get to pimp him out, I'm all over it. And, if you know me, you know he's my future husband, even though he is married with kids. I still have faith. Tougher yet, which album to choose?

One will be Messenger. It has these songs....

It's the first album I bought, and it has the acoustic version of "I'll Be" which is usually the only song people know of his, even though he's had several released on mainstream radio. It's on a lot of wedding song lists. Not very original. So, when I get married it will be what I walk down the aisle to. Watch him sing it live!

One of my all-time favorite songs of his, "Ghosts of Jackson Square" This has one of my favorite lines of all time. "We wish ourselves beautiful, and we cry in the night. It's not the love we fear, but the fall from the height. Our crepe paper bridges, afraid to look down, enough water to drown"

Prayer to St Peter...that he has sung for the troops several times, and to hear him sing this live, will make anyone cry. Watch for yourself!!!!

And, it has my theme song, "Sign on the Door". How am I suppose to know you cant read the sign saying sorry we're closed?

You may have also heard "I Could Not Ask For More". It was also a very popular song back in the 90's, and actually the reason I bought this album in the first place.

It was hard to pick just one Edwin album, because though I love all kinds of music, his are the only ones that I can love every song, and never feel the need to fast forward through any of them. He's the one musician that I can say I connect with...of course I mean musically. Well...aside from the fact that we're destined to be together, but I won't bore you with the details of that.

So, I had to pick another Edwin album, Far From Over.

Hearts Fall was on the radio. Write Me a Song.....one that makes all the girls cry, and the old women swoon at the sound of my tune, the hearts of the lonley will fly.... about how everyone wants a song written about them.

"Kentucky" is the song you want your ex to sing to you when you are marrying someone else. It starts "the night before your wedding, I dreamed what I would say, I'd beg you for forgiveness for all the mess I made." And has the best chorus "oh sweet kentucky, no matter where I land, I was just a boy for you, now he will be your man". It might also be a favorite cus of the trips to Kentucky with my ex Z. But, whatever. He wrote it for an ex and when he sang it the first time at a concert, he said he had to sleep on the couch for a week when he first wrote the song. Smart woman. Too bad I'm stealing her husband!

Radio Star makes fun of one hit wonders, and the main stream music industry like Britney Spears. "you all want to be me, and I'll be gone in a week" He says at his concers you shouldn't own an acoustic guitar unless you intend to write sarcastic songs with it.

My Edwin is adopted, and he has 2 adopted kids. So he wrote this song for his adoptive Mother, Letter to my Mother, which is a good one also. Only cus you don't hear the concept much.
Other favorites on the album are I've Seen a Love, that is a fan favorite live. Watch him break it down at the end. Goosebumps.

Dragons is about addiction. And facing your inner 'dragons'. I'm not a faithful person, nor do I enjoy singing church hymns, but for some reason I love that he put Jesus, he loves me on an album. He's from South Carolina and it just reminds me of a southern gospel church.

Edwin is only the geatest ever, and though hardly anyone I know has heard of him (besides the fanatic moments I have) he has a huge fan base. And his albums sell really well, despite the fact that he's not played on the radio much.

If you like songs that have meaning, you'll love Edwin. Every song he writes, has a story. Whether it's a funny, sappy, or foot stomping song, there is something for everyone. No one I've taken to a concert has ever complained, because you can't help but have fun at a live show. The energy of the crowd, and the band, is just amazing. He's funny, adorable, and to watch how much he connects with his own music, when he sings, is a sight to see. Now, run out and buy an album, and tell me how great he is.

This is a funny song he wrote, Gramercy Park Hotel, on his latest album, about a hotel he stayed at where Babe Ruth was kicked out of. I fucking love You Tube!!

I rarely miss work, yet I am feeling 100% guilty for being home. As if, work can't function without me? I never let myself off the hook. I feel like a slacker. Even though I am up for 1 hour, and asleep for 3. Up for 1, down for 3. I can breathe now. CP asked the pharmacist about my taking a bottle of robitussin in a day. They said it'll fuck with my blood pressure and make me unable to sleep, and irritable. I've had none of those problems. Well, besides I'm slightly irritable. I'm fucking sick! Now, I'm off to bed, because I'm sick as a fucking dog. Know what sucks? Having had your nose peirced only 2 weeks, and getting a head and chest cold complete with bloody snot. I've taken to stuffing toilet paper up my nostril to stop from constant blowing and rubbing of the peircing. I hope I don't get some sick infection because of this, because that's just what I need, a diseased nose.

Monday, September 18, 2006

A Change Will Do You Good....

I'm writing from the comforts of home today. I can't change the date of my post either for some reason, so until further notice, it's not Saturday. I feel like I swallowed a ball of steel wool, and it got stuck in my throat. Then, as if that weren't bad enough, shoved some in my ears, and up my nose and snorted it up, so it would get stuck in my lungs. In other words, I feel fantastic. I took an entire bottle of robitussin yesterday. I woke up this morning, so that means I'm not dead. I really didn't care to be honest. I'm hacking up nasty phlem with a mix of blood and gray flecks. I'm going to try to go to the Dr this afternoon. I hurt. I've been the sickest person latley, wtf is up with that? Even my freaking eyes hurt.

Sunday I went to a cookout at Bubba's even though I felt like shit. Cus I'm an awesome friend, and a stupid fuck all rolled into one. Her first official party since she's been co-habitating with the new man. I kinda never mentioned that her and her fiance broke up. But she's back with a guy from the past that we all know and love, so it worked out perfectly. Nevermind that no one really liked her fiance. She was kinda mad we were gonna let her marry a guy who wasn't right for her, but I told her I'd have stood up at the wedding and objected. That's what friends are for. Plus, we did tell her but you know when your in love, you think your friend's are just being bitches when they complain about your man. I would also like to add, that I've always supported her cheating on the ex with the new guy, though she is too nice a girl to do that. You can't blame a friend for tryin'. I'm just sayin, I knew he was the right one for her. I'll be sure to mention it when I give the speech at her wedding.

I almost didn't go to the gym on Saturday because I was "tired". But the fact that I wasn't going back to sleep, but rather to sit my ass on the couch and watch Lost...made me realize I wasn't tired, I was lazy. Of course, once I got there I felt better. Getting there is the hardest part. They are also moving my Tues. and Thurs. intervals classes from 5:30-6:30 to 6-7. I get out of work at 4:30. I normally just go to the gym at 5 and do machines or walk until the classes start, but I dunno about killing myself for an entire hour before I kill myself some more. Intervals is step with weights. It's kinda hard, ok? I'll have to figure something out. Of course if I just shut the hell up about it and worked out the extra hour, I'm sure I would lose weight faster. I fucking hate change. And I love to complain.

I watched that new show on a whim Men In Trees. It's like sex in the city minus the 3 other girls besides Carrie, and plus a town full of men. Minus the city, plus a small Alaskan town. Well so it's not the same, but I mean that it's pretty awesome. And since I could moonlight as a TV critic, I suggest you check it out. Anne Hech is the lead actress. Kinda the whole time I was watching it I was thinking about how she use to be Ellen's lover. It's pretty ironic given her character on the show. My only complaint, is that an adorable raccoon has adopted her, and follows her around everywhere. Close up, it's a raccoon. Walking the streets? It's SOOO a dog with a bad raccoon outfit on...sideways. You mean to tell me they can't afford a raccoon who walks?

Friday, September 15, 2006

Come into my Parlor said the spider to the fly....

I'm here to help all those not turned on to Lost. I found some good videos on U Tube to suck you in. You still have time to rent or buy seasons one and two, and catch up to watch the season 3 premiere starting in October. Although, just watching it isn't as fun as being obsessed with it's every twist and turn. There is so much more to this show, than meets the eye. I guess it's good to just watch, but it's way fun to be addicted. I broke down and bought season two yesterday even though I was suppose to wait until I got paid. 7 hours of bonus footage? Can you really expect me to put that off? I don't think so! I'll be holed up at home watching my season two should anyone wonder where I am this weekend.

Did anyone catch the View on Wednesday? I love the fact that Rosie O'Donnel gave Mike Boogie from Big Brother a verbal bitch slap about him being an asshole to Erika and calling her a hoe. She also made fun of him and called him a 12 year old for his "phone conversations" with Will in the diary room. I hate when people blame editing for their words. You know your talking to the camera, you know your being recorded. Loved it. If I were a TV host, I'd have done the same damn thing! Plus, I'd be hella rich and drive a sweet car.

I have a dryer again. Yayyyyy. The electrician did a real nice job re-wiring the plug. As in, I'm lying! He ran it thru pvc piping instead of rewiring it through the ceiling. Gray piping with black words, on my white walls. out to the garage. It looks so ghetto! I'm totally going to repaint the walls now. Landlord can bite me. See for yourself.

Remember how I have a coworker who annoys the shit out of me, and how she is my equal but for some reason thinks she is my boss? She wanted to put these huge display cases in my 8x10 area? We were to have equal space in our new office. She told me yesterday that the maintenance guy bolted them to the wall in my area. Apparently someone told him to do it, without consulting me. I wonder who would have done something like that? While laughing she said "it's cutting into your space though". I said, "I don't think so, we will re-measure and divide it equally". She gets two windows, and 2 more feet of space than me? I think not. This is going to be war. She has never seen my mean side. It's bad enough I have to sit by her now. Prepare for plenty of coworker bitching once I move. I don't think she's right in the head.

The cute boy taught step aerobics last night. Is the jury still out if he is gay? Um, he was singing out loud while leading us to ..."Hungry Like a Wolf".

Thursday, September 14, 2006

What A Girl Wants...

Did anyone watch the Dateline about Debra Lefave? The 23 year old teacher who did her 14 yr old student? I might be a hippocrite, but who the hell cares? People keep saying if she were a man and she did that to a young girl she'd be in jail. Right, cus men are usually pervs who force girls into sex.

I really find nothing wrong with this. It was consensual. Have you seen her? I'd do her, and I don't swing that way. I know people feel really strongly about her "molesting that boy" but I just don't see it. I can relate to her feeling that affection and attention that is "wrong" feeling "right". And I don't think it was the right thing to do, but really, what harm was done? I had sex when I was 14, not with an adult, but obviously I was thinking about it.

Sometimes it's fun to work in marketing. Who am I kidding? It rocks! We get the best perks, and get invited to the coolest parties. Maybe other people at work are invited but my department actually goes. It's important to keep up good working relationships. Today we are going to one of our photographers for their annual lunch. It's freaking awesome. First of all, the people who own the shop, have their dogs at work. Who the hell isn't jealous of that? My first photo shoot I spent petting the dogs. Not like I had to do anything anyways, I'm not a photographer. I brought the plants, that was my job.

They open up and invite all their clients, and have the best food, and prizes. And I get to leave my job to enjoy it. Enjoy work? Don't let that get out, or they might put a stop to it. I mean.. I have to go to this lame lunch with one of our vendors. *yawn*.

I think it's inevitable that I'm going to have to go on some type of diet. I am not seeing any results for as hard as I am working in the gym. I don't look forward to dieting, because it blows. All I want for X-mas is a new size. Too bad no one else can give that to me, so that doesn't let everyone off the hook from buying me stuff! Nice try though!

Today would be my 10 year wedding anniversary. Pretty good laugh, huh?

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Do You Smell Skunk?....

Funny how a smell can spark up nostalgia. My freaking closet stinks! It makes me wonder how long I've been walking around stinking and no one told me. It brings back horrible childhood memories. Like, when a family of skunks lived under our trailer. My moms then boyfriend decided it would be smart to shoot the babies when they left their nest. Needless to say, they sprayed. I went to school smelling like a skunk, everything in the house had that odor. I was innocently standing in line for a drink and someone said "do you smell skunk?" Talk about traumatized.

My room has had an odd odor for a while. I thought it was just because I have had the a/c in the window and there is no fresh air flow into it. It wasn't a horrible smell, not cat or dog pee, but just odd. While I was cleaning my closets out, I realized I have a leak in my toilet apparently, somehow my bag of stuffed animals (STFU) got wet, and they all stink like musty stank old rotten water smell. Nice. The bathroom floods into my bedroom, as we know because I flooded my apartment last summer. My poor babies.

I'm missing something. It might have taken me a while to realize, but it's driving me nuts. I have two round container/magnets that hold all my itty bitty kitty words on my frig-i-daire. I'm down to one. It was about a month or so ago, Kat and Bubba were inside by themselves a little too long. They re-arranged my living room. Took everything in my room and put it on my bed, and moved these magnets CP made (there is a TON of them) all over the house. I'm still finding them today. But no itty bitty words. They had made some foul comments on my stove hood with them, and the container is missing.

They froze my bra too. Well tried to. That plan was foiled when CP told me they did it. My fucking bras cost $40, and I'm too poor to afford new ones right now.

Happy Birthday to my old Pal Kat. Old as in, I've known you since Jesus was a baby. Not that you're old. Although...you'll always be older than me! Betch.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Good Lookin Out...

I came into work today, to Stephen Pearcy on my desk. You know, the singer from Ratt? Round and Round?? Bethie brougth all this old school stuff from the 80's. I also got a pic of Kip Winger. It's OK to be jealous!

I ended up going out on Friday with my friend Katie to a new restaurant J&J's Smokin Cafe it was pretty awesome. It was a Harley themed place, and the food was so good! After we ate, we went to a bar in the town where we went to high school, and reminiced. She reminded me of one time in particular I had barred from my memory.

When we were in high school we dated brothers, twins. She dated hers for a long time, mine was only a few months. Lets not forget that I was in love with my asshole ex husband then, and no one could keep me away from him...he was THAT awesome. *cough*bullshit*cough*The ex had cheated on me and I caught him and after the drama we were back together, and I went out with Katie and the men bowling, then to our old hang out...Brewskies. It was an 18+ bar we frequented to get our dance on.

I don't really remember where I told the man I was going, but I know I lied to him. (Much the way he lied to me when I caught him cheating on me) I'll never forget Katie rolling up to my house, and there was D standing in my driveway. Waiting for me. I don't think she even stopped the car, but kept it at a slow roll, and left me with a "good luck" and took off. It turns out the man had gone into my bedroom, and hit re-dial on my phone and asked a bunch of questions.

See how fucked up things were before cell phones? If I had a phone, Mom could have called to say "hey, don't come home, your crazy boyfriend is waiting for you". Or, I would have been able to erase my phone history on the celly. No such luck. Boy, was he pissed. He hit our washing machine, and that was it for my Mom. She drove him home, and made me go with her. The whole time D yelled at me and she said "don't you talk to him!" After that I dated the other guy for a while. D would stalk me at his house. He never let me move on.

I must have repressed that memory and 100 others, or I'd have never married the poor schmuck! Speaking of repressed memories! Friday I also saw a coworker naked. He said he had a nude picture of himself, on the internet. I was very intrigued. Of course, I wanted to see it! He kept saying it was tasteful. Why did he have one you ask? He lost a bet playing chess with a girl, how typical geek is that? Classic! Turned out you couldn't see anything good. his leg was propped in such a way that you didn't see a thing. I suppose it's a good thing cus I couldn't face him then without laughing if I saw his schlong. You can't scrub your brain clean.

I'm getting my electric done in the apt. today. It's been 2 weeks without a dryer. Apparently the line broke. I think that is a nice way to say "it burned up, somewhere in the wall, and you're damn lucky you didn't die in your sleep." Funny thing is, I had an outrageous electric bill despite the fact I'm a lights and power nazi. Just having the dryer connection off for 2 weeks saved me $30. Anything that saves me money rocks! Let's hope the smell from the rotten vegetables, rabbit, and cat piss and shit in the garage doesn't kill him before he fixes my line. CP failed to take out the trash this weekend. Why? Because I didn't nag him to do it silly. You can't not take out the garbage, when you have cleaned out the fridge, litter boxes, rabbit cage and litter. That is a recipe for disaster.

For some reason aerobics really busted my ass yesterday. I've been exhausted. I'm probably getting sick. My regular step/intervals teacher started back last week. So we're pumping iron again. The old teacher used the fitness ball, so I'll have to buy one for myself. I like playing with balls. No, really. This also means, I no longer get to interact with the cute step instructor who might possibly be gay but I dont care because he is hot. I only see him at the front desk. *sigh*

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Two Thousand Zero Zero Party Over Oops Out of Time..

I slept in until 8:30 this morning. Gotta love that. Nice way to start the week. I got here just in time for our moment of silence in rememberance of 9/11. Today would also be my Dad's birthday.

This weekend was our second attendance of 80's night. It was a blast. There was a pretty big, slightly drunk crowd due to the Ohio State game. We had a group of 9 people this time, rockin' it out. CP won another prize with the trivia...he knew who sung some one hit wonder song that due to mass quantities of alchohol, I don't remember. Kat came rockin the side pony tail and bad ass 80's garb. CP was sporting his Miami Vice look. Note the bitchin Poison necklace Kat let him wear.

Jess, Bubba, and Tiffany all shining with some glitter cut outs Kat put on everybody. We were the only awesome crowd dressed for the festivities. And by that I do not mean me. Jess had the classic blue eyeshadow, and also a side ponytail. Bubba actually loved her blazer and wanted to pimp it at work Monday morning.

Me and Kat danced to "Nothing's gonna stop us now". Yes, that awesome ballad from Mannequin. Who loved that movie? I did! And it spurred everyone else to dance, and we all switched partners in true high school dance fashion.

By the end of the night, everyone in the bar was pretty wasted, and this dude dropped his draws on the dance floor, and was walking around the joint in his boxers. Something posessed him to try to lick Chris's nipple. Chris, is a man. I snapped this photo of him dancing at the bar holding his family jewels.

We closed the bar down, and tried to get more alchohol at the Circle K, but it was too late. So we came back to my place, where CP was trying to sleep for work at 8 a.m. Me and Kat got into bed with him and laid on him and woke him up. He wasn't too mad about that but 5 drunks at 3 a.m. can be pretty loud. He told me I'm lucky he loves me.

We took the party outside and had a fire at 3 a.m. We all got to bed about 4:30. All in all, another successful 80's night. Nevermind the fact that I was actually sick in the morning. I also know that I forgot some important funny events, but that's what friends are for, to remind you what an asshole you were the next day.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Bunnies and Cows and Chickens oh my!...

I'm walking around in a fog today. I'm TI-RED! Ever have a bunch of good things happen? Then you wonder...when is the ball going to drop? It's sorta sad that I can't enjoy my good fortune. Remember how I won Ohio State tickets? I got an offer for a LOT of money to sell them. Seeing how I don't much care about going, I'm going to sell them. Christmas is coming you know. Time to save the money, and fa la la la la.

The baseball game was fun last night. It's great to feel special, and sit in awesome seats, and not use the general bathrooms. However, we didn't get any free food this time. What a rip off. Tayray and Todd got a 6 pack, for $36. The price meant they were real glass bottles, and someone put them in your fridge for you. Sweet. They rip you off so bad at those places. You can see where we sat in this picture. We're the second loge from the right. By third base, which Tayray pointed out to me, was NOT first base. Wtf do I know?

The home team was up 12-0 at the bottom of the 7th. It was such an ass kicking that I actually felt bad for the other team. The Altoona Curves. Ummmm I'm pretty sure that's near my Mom's home town of Ebensburg, PA. But, I wouldn't admit to that.

The best part of the game, was the dancing. I forgot all about the 'bat boy', he's got some sweet dance moves. I'm 99% sure he is 'special', but that doesn't mean he can't bust a move. I'm so mad I forgot my camera to take a video. He does fancy bat tricks, and twirls his hat, and slides, and line dances to, and from picking up the bats.

Tomorrow I have to take Kat's Mom to the fair. Kat hates the fair, she says it sucks cock. Kat's Mom told her she can sit outside the fair and suck some cock. If you knew Kat's mom, you would know that's some funny shit for her to say. We're excited about going, we like the bunnies and cows and chickens. And seeing what the 4-H kids made. It's exciting shit right there.

How did everyone like Big Brother last night? *spoiler* I found it hilarious, to watch Mike booger walk around and mope without his little butt buddy Will. He was so lost without him. He didn't know what to do. The best part, was when he tried to do their 'famous' phone calls to each other in the diary room, and Mike said "brrrring.....brrrrrring.....brrrrring" and no one answered and the look on his face. I couldn't stop laughing. I'm so mean. Big shocker he took Erika. I only hope America gives Janelle the 25,000. She deserves it. She is a good competitor, love or hate her, she won all those competitions.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Hit Me Baby One More Time....

So, after a week of searching for the 'right' outfit for CP's birthday 'suprise' I made do with what I could find. But..let me tell you, I'm not really the girl for this dressing up thing. Maybe I should have gotten drunk first? I stood around laughing until he got home. Did he like it? Hell yea he liked it. Did I like it? Not so muich.

I did the logical thing when faced with a sale.. I went to Old Navy, as usual, for ONE thing. It's not my fault they had a freaking sale! Spend $75 and you get $15 off. Plus, I did get another coupon for a future visit for $10 off my next $50 purchase. Have I ever mentioned, how much I love Old Navy? I got my FASH ON!

I won tickets from work for a baseball game tonight, the Akron Aeros. It's close to home, and the minor leagues, but it's still pretty fun. Not to mention, I got tickets for the loge. I dunno how to even spell loge, but all I know is I'ma be kickin' it like I'm important, eating free food and drinking free drinks, and watching the game from the comfort of a cushy couch. Don't even ask me what Orbit is suppose to be. He has claws, and a long tail. And, he likes old people, so I think he's some sort of outer space cat or something.

Too bad me and CP both hate sports. I'm not sure who else won tickets either from work, it very well could be some lame-o, or the person who shits on the floor. If it's the shitter, then the whole night will be ruined, by their incontinence.

I also won tickets to an Ohio State football game. If anyone wants to rub my belly and call me buddha, feel free. I think I am on a roll. I won the Penn State game. I've never been to an Ohio State game, I always gave the tix to my ex, and never got to enjoy the fun. Everyone says it's a killer time, so it might be fun to go. Where there is beer, there is fun. And a hotel room means out of town sex. I dunno why, but it is always different out of town.

I got tagged! It's my first time! Thanks Chelle. Word association:

1. Addiction - needle
2. Hot - salsa
3. Penis - envy
4. Paris - hilton
5. Red - wine

5 words for these bloggers will beeee.....

1. Auto
2. Spy
3. Wind
4. Loud
5. Sexy

And I tag:

1. Celina
2. <>MzAriez
3. <>Janet
4. <>Rachel
5. <>Frances

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

I might be the next fred g. sanford....

Today is September 6th. Does anyone else find it weird that an entire week is over in September already? I dunno what is going on latley but time is flying! It's hump day! My hump my hump my hump. I dreamt my nose swelled up 3 times it's size, and I had to have plastic surgery to fix it. Let's hope it was only a dream. In the meantime I still think it's cute! Even if my nose does fall off. It works for Michael Jackson.

Big Brother? *spoiler* Anyone else let out a scream of delight when Janelle sent Will packing? Will was an alright guy, but his arrogance pissed me off, Mike's too. Him quitting the HOH the way he did, had better blow up in his face. If I was Janelle or Erika, I'd have clapped for him and said "Class act boogie, class act" much in the way he mocked Howie when he lied to his face, then kicked him out. Mike was being just as immature. Except, I guess Howie has lost it in sequester. That was funny.

To be an effective trash picker, you need an accomplice. It is more time consuming to go it alone, and you run the risk of being spotted by neighbors, picking in their trash. I came across a great find this past weekend, and luckily I had CP in the car with me for the retrieval. I got an old ladder. It's an old wooden straight ladder that you have to lean against a house to climb. This brought me back to my childhood, when my brother and I had such a ladder, and would lean it straight up into the air, I guess hoping God would take pity on us, and hold it, while we climbed as far as we could before it fell to the ground. Sometimes it fell with us on it. I never said it was smart.

So, I spotted it, squealed with delight, and turned around and asked him to get it for me. "It's old, you can't use it!" he said. I said, "I know it's old, that is the point". He is telling me this, when I have old spools for thread, and an old shoe stretcher, and broken cobbler stands laying around the house? Whatever. I love old shit! Not old generic.....old primitive.

It's a good thing he was there because it was too big to fit in the car and it had to be stuck out the window. "It's all dirty, and painted" he said. Oh ye of little faith! I'm totally excited about my find! I told him "that's a nice ladder! You'd pay $20 for that in an antique store!" "You would" he replied. The people who trashed it had a $1 sticker on it. He just doesn't get it. I'm going to strip it back to the old rickity wood first, then I'm probably going to lean it against the wall inside and use it for a rack for afghans or something. When I get a house, I'll hang it from the ceiling for either a pot rack, or to dry herbs and flowers. I love it.

Along the lines of trash picking...or maybe this is considered stealing? CP got a new DVD burner and returned his old one to the store for a refund. It's a store that is totally taking over the world and does only bad anyways, so you shouldn't care. I sure don't. I think it's hilarious! Their going to fuck up my company too. Their selling our plants now, and they drive our prices down so we can't make money, and pretty soon they'll be running the world and no one will have jobs unless they move to Columbia. Not everyone looks like Shakira in Columbia you know. So, they deserve that shit.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

A Nose By Any Other Name Needs Diamonds....

Did everyone have a killer Labor Day? I sure enjoyed having 3 days off! I got my nose pierced. I'd been tossing the idea around for a while, and got the balls to do it Saturday night. After a long road trip, Taray and Todd went with me. Did it hurt? Well hell yea it hurt like a motherfucker!! Worse than the eyebrow for sure, and your eyes water really bad. Blood? There's a lot of blood! Like having a bloody nose. But it's done and over with. I got a little diamond. Which is the most expensive jewelry I bought myself in years. My sister said I am too old for that. If your too old you're too scared to get it done yourself.

What did CP think? Well, I didn't tell him I did it. I just said I had a suprise, when he got home, looked around the house first to see if I bought something, his guesses were...you bought a new outfit? You dyed your hair? You got a boob job? You got botox? You got your nails done? After about 10 minutes of looking at me, and my asking him to smell and kiss me.....he finally said "Ohhhhhh you got your nose pierced". He is so unobservant! But he likes it too.

I thought it would bother me, but you can't even tell it's in there, and it doesn't hurt at all.

Me and CP took a 2 hour bike trip yesterday. We didn't ride for the whole 2 hours, we stopped for ice cream on the way back. Found an organic store sort of close to home, which rocks. CP needed to fix his bike gear, and in true form, he used the band on his lighter, and a rock, and created a screw driver. I swear that man is Macgyver.

We had some people over for a fire Sunday night for CP's birthday. Everyone partied out early as usual besides the party animals me, Kat and my brother. Me and kat had fun rolling off of the air mattress onto the floor. We laughed so hard I got a pounding headache. Trust me, it was a lot of fun, we're stupid like that. We also burned corn chips, Kat saw it on Survivorman, so we put it to the test. It really works. They make a sweet fire!

I heard through the grapevine, that Edwin McCain (my future husband) was coming to play some golf tournament. I remember hearing a golf ad on the radio playing his song, and I wondered wtf Edwin had to do with golf. My hate for all sports may have lost me a chance to see my man! I'm on the hunt for details. Fear not.

In other news...Our apartment complex was nearly taken over by a giant monster. This was hanging out on Tayray's window all day Monday. I saw it from my car, and I thought it was a bat. I asked my brother wtf that thing was you could see it from next door! I've never seen a praying mantis that big, or brown. Notice, he is eyeing me as I try to get the cigarette pack near it for size comparison. He started moving after that. And I might have screamed like a girl and ran.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

They eat their mates, so I got the fuck away after I took some pictures. I saw a smaller green one on my window a couple weeks ago. But, this bitch was so big, it has a shadow, mkay? Here's a close up of it.

I'm super tired today. Why? Because my dog decided last night she was going to go on a humping marathon, and hump anything she could get her paws on. I have no idea what her deal was. Normally she only tries to hump a cat when she is in heat. Or, she humps the bed when me and the man are getting it on. But, there was no on to be gotten last night. The cats were smacking her away, she mounted our feet in the bed, the side of the bed, pillows, and would not stop. She had me up until 2 a.m. with her humpfest.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Move over bacon...

So we're gearing up for a big move at the office. Maybe that sounds exciting to you, but not to me. I fear change. I'm pretty content to be in my own office (by my own I mean, with another person, who is not in my department) away from the prying eyes of coworkers. Not to mention, I've got a great seat. I sit where I hear plenty of gossip (near a VIP) and the girls restroom. So people stop to see me on the way there and back. I know when it's safe to go to the potty in private. I know who stunk it up. But I do not know the phantom shitter...apparently someone keeps crapping on the floor. There is like 50 people in my office, the truth is out there!! I know what your thinking, and even I wouldn't do that!

Our new home will be a big area, and we will all be together. Currently, we're scattered about. We will be downstairs, at the end of the building no one has any reason to venture to. All alone. Shut off from the world. It's kinda sad, and I know I'll be lonley down there. What sucks about moving, is that I will be with a coworker I like 95% of the time. That might seem like good odds, but that leaves 5% of unbearable.

We went down last week to get an idea of where everything is moving to and all I heard said coworker say is that she had to have a window. Fine. There are 3 windows. We will be side by side, each with a window, (her with two, actually) with the same roomy (by our standards) 8x10 foot space. My new diggs will be on a wall that borders the mens room. Coworker thinks I need to hog up my entire wall 2 feet deep with a display case to 'block out the sound of the flushing toilets'. I could rip the bitches head off. Mind you, we all sit by the women's room right now. I don't even hear the toilets anymore. I don't care. Mind your own fucking business thankyouverymuch! But, when all is said and done, I'd much rather move downstairs, than out the door. "Budget cuts" have hit us hard the past few months. I can't even count the number of people they have "laid off due to budget cuts". Every day a new person either here, or at one of our locations is let go. And, we get no explanation.

I got hit by a shit brick yesterday. I had a 2 hour web meeting, and I got hot & nauseus, with a pounding headache at the base of my head. I slept all stinking night and took Allegra and felt better, so it's probably allergies. It's the season change. Who the fuck really knows.

Big Brother, while interesting, disappointed me. Of course, Janelle took the easy way out and got rid of Chicken George. She sure talks a lot of shit, and she is an asshole if she thinks Will and Mike are taking her to the final 3. So, I'm back on the Janelle bandwagon. I have no choice, she's the last person left I can stand. I'm also condident she can beat them all to the finals.

I spent a good hour last night with my Tivo. It's almost the fall season you know. I had to set up wish lists, and pick all my season passes. Delete canceled shows, change recording options. I have a wish list for season premiers, which is awesome cus you can just search for new shows! We're going to have a lot of conflicts (me and CP) with Grey's Anatomy moving days at the same time as Survivor. I want to watch this season, Jericho, Six Degrees, Hero, in addition to all the 50 shows I already enjoy! ...and the man watches 15 billion gay ass CSI shows. I'm all for those forensics shows, but I like the real ones on A&E. With real Dr's and re-inactments. Not the fake ass over glamourized crap on CSI. I love Tivo. It rocks my socks!

Hello to Momma and Sissy who are at home today. OFF WORK, due to hurricane Ernesto. Battoning down the hatches. Their both from Ohio so I deem them lightweights. We've been through a billion snow storms, and you can't drive in some rain? Come onnnn! I like to hear them talk about it, because they left Ohio due to the stinking snow. And, this is my Mom's second hurricane in Virginia Beach. I'm not sure if she was in SC for any, but I know my sister was there for Hugo. And I dunno how many other hurricanes she's been through. But, um, thank's but no thanks. Is it worth it? Eh. We have seagulls in parking lots like Wal Mart, and Kohl's. If you close your eyes it's just like the beach. Be safe guys!