"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Blog la de Blog la da Life Goes On...

This is a post that really has no structure. Cus who gives a shit about structure on a Friday when you only have to work until noon? Not me!

I hate the president. I can't stand looking at his stupid expressions, or listening to him talk about shit he has no idea about, and blu blu blubbering on and on. So, all we have to do, is elect Hilary Clinton, and all will be right! I am going to volunteer somewhere next election, and make people register to vote. Oh, silly me, what does it matter who votes?!! I forgot that they'll just throw out the votes when she wins, and demand a recount and we'll somehow get stuck with George Bush again. They probably have yet another dumbfuck Bush clone stashed away somewhere. They do whatever the hell they want to do anyways.

We really need a woman president. We really need a woman DEMOCRAT president, but that is about as political as I'll let myself get. The state of our country makes me sick. Soon, we wont be able to even say that, cus you know, they can take our rights away!

Random Thought: It's hard not to cuss around children.

Next topic! The stupid cop boxes they are putting up around here. This stupid box takes a picture of your liscense plate if you are speeding. Or run a red light. You get a ticket in the mail, but how do they know its you? What if someone else drove your car? Where is the proof? I heard on the radio a class action law suit has been filed stating just that, its against the law to do.

And, lets face it, it takes cops jobs. Cops, that we need to police the little shits that run the streets these days! The ones that make routine traffic stops, and end up catching murderers! You know what we need? MORE MACHINES TO DO OUR JOBS! That is just what we need! Make more poverty! Now, they want to put these downtown, to see who keeps a parking spot all day. Who fucking cares?! Honestly???? If your paying for the spot, what does it matter? Don't we have, like, murders, rapist, and child molesters to catch? Havn't they shut down like, every major corporation in this area and moved the jobs overseas? Yes, yes, they have. So the thing to do is take more jobs away from people and replace them with machines. Am I alone in thinking this is the stupidest idea ever?

And, as I aspire to help others, and make you feel good, a little ditty bout this girl I work nights with, and why you should be thankful you are not her....

She got married oh, 'bout 6 months ago. One week later she caught her husband in bed with another woman. She took the sorry SOB back, (as women normally do cus we're stupid)had his baby 9 months later, and now he is screwing around with drugs and alchohol, and probably chicks too. Coke. One girl asked her how he can do this to her, and I simply said it's the drugs! Been there! Addiction takes over your life, and you don't care who you hurt in the process of getting your fix!!

So, she's devastated. What do we learn from this? Well, he has like 5 kids already, so if a guy can't keep it in his pants, he can't keep it in his pants! Some are just more fertile than others, and easier to catch! If you cut his dick off, he can't do that anymore. Catching a man with another woman can be deemed temporary insanity, so go ahead and cut it off, or break his knee caps, you'll get away with it! And, if you give a man an inch, he'll take a mile! Thats the 100% truth! Marriage won't change a man. Thats the bottom line! Unfortunatley we all learn that one the hard way!

Pretty sure we are letting the limo go and losing the deposit. We're still going out, but we'll have to be responsible, errr, someone will have to be. It surely sucks to be poor!

Good news today. One of my visa's that had been about 500 over the limit for about a year, is finally 100 UNDER the limit! Can you freaking believe it? Cus I can't! I havnt used it in 3 years! How did it get so high? Oh it's a long story. But it involves a 29% interest rate, 29% cash advance fee, and $34 over limit fee each month. Making the minimum payment not near 1/2 of the charges they charged me monthly! I'M FINALLY MAKING PROGRESS!!! Hello 2006! Welcome to what I like to call, crawling out of the hole!!!!!

Today's Question:

How will you ring in the new year?

Woe Is Me....

Almost Friday. Thank the good freaking lord above, it's almost Friday! I get off an hour early tomorrow but I cant go home cus I have to leave to go to work again. I'm making the long trek to get my rabbit food, and hay instead. It's a long haul, 30 min. I'm thinking this summer I might get a bale of hay, cus it's cheap and it would save going every other week to get it. I need to grow my own. I really miss the summer, with the free herbs! So do my bun buns!

I have no idea what I'm wearing New Year's but my guess is it's gonna be something I already have, cus we are broke, and I can't buy myself an outfit. But you work two jobs right? Yes, I do, but we're having money trouble, and by we I don't mean myself, but it directly affects me, and makes me not so happy...so we aren't gonna talk about it! I have to pay a lot of money this wknd and my two paychecks are GONE! Get paid on Friday broke on Saturday. Grand Opening...Grand Closing! I'm really fucking sick of it. I want to quit my second job. I fucking hate working 14 hours a day. Can you tell? I mean, I only bitch about it every day of my stinking life, it's not for shits and giggles, I really fucking hate it! I don't want to be brought down.

To top it all off, CP's brake line broke, and he tried to fix it and now it's worse, so he is down a vehicle on top of everything. His work let him take a van home last night, I don't think he knows how good he has it at that place at all. They are really nice, like my employer. They gave him a pay advance before too to fix his car. I dunno many places that do that.

I havn't gotten my hair done in 2 months. TWO months! Mind you, my roots are about 2 inches grown out, and I am sporting a pony tail today cus I can't do shit with it. I can't go until next Sat to get it done either! That is what I like to call, sacrifice! Going without something, to pay your bills, and have Christmas. I love my friends and family so much, I have shitty hair. I hope you all appreciate it! (kidding, kidding, but it's true!)

I'd like to congratulate Madonna....who is fast on her way to beating out ELVIS's world record with 36 number one records. One more, and she passes the king up! My mom will probably choke when she hears that, and say something about how he died too early.....when reality is, she is just 100 times better!!

.....Living in in a material world, and I am a material girl........

And, because when you're down you should find something good in life.......

My happy thought for the day will be......I'm not a stinking crack addict. If I were, I would be much worse off. So, thank you God for keeping me off the street drugs, and giving me parents who taught me responsibility. Work ethic. And, that weren't afraid to smack my ass even though I threatened to call child services if they did. Thank you Momma, for helping me when I was really down and out, and not before. Thank you for teaching me what it's like to not get everything I wanted. Making me get a job at 16 in order to have a car. Even though I thought it was bullshit! I am a responsible adult today for it!

Today's Question:

What did your parents teach you that you value most?

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

The Year In Review...

GOODBYE 2005!!!!!

This has definately been an incredible year! Fast! Amazing! It flew by!! I worked away an entire year of my life, and still managed to have a bit of a life in there somewhere! For someone who hates, and fears change, I have survived several! Some of them were even my choice! Can you dig it?

I give a shout out to Bubba, who, at the beginning of last year, when both of our long relationships ended said we would be engaged by Christmas. I really thought you were full of shit, but in reality you just might be on to something. If you can harness that talent, you can be the next John Edward and never worry about money again!! (and give me free psychic readings...of course)

The year went so fast that I actually had to sit and ponder to make this list up. You forget a lot! Lots of changes, and for someone who fears change, I think I did pretty damn good! Remember when your mom use to say "don't wish away your life, one day you'll be sorry" cus you wished a school year to end, your next birthday to come, or to turn 16, 18, 21, 25......? Now, that your older, you realize, God DAMN time goes fast doesn't it?

So, this year My accomplishments (which includes changes which are an accomplishment to ME!) are:

Broke off a 4 year relationship
Got approved for a mtg. loan!
Moved out into a kick-ass apartment!
Proved to myself that I am in fact, Strong.
Found out I can make it on my own, without financial help
Realized that friends really do pick you up when you are down
Worked 2 jobs for an entire year
Bought my own TiVo (proud accomplishment!)
Learned HTML Programming
Paid off my very own washer/dryer
Met, fell in love with, and got engaged to CP
Bought a digital camera (welcome to the millenium!)
Got my very own brand new 32" TV (and paid cash, cha ching!)
Got my very own brand new DVD player (and paid cash, cha ching!)
Earned my 5th year of perfect attendance!
Earned my 6th year on the job. (longest ever in one place! Yay me!)
Got a decent raise
Lost a Bunny (R.I.P. Bitsy!)
Adopted a new bunny! (Welcome home Chelsea!)
Turned 30!
Have my own garage
Went an entire year, without using cash advance, not even once! (huge accomplishment since I've been in and out for about 6 years!)
Lost 28lbs...(still holding.....)

....And, my last statement for the list is, I popped up in yahoo when searched 'girls who fuck and suck in barberton'.....When have I ever talked about fucking and sucking? Well, in THOSE terms? I work in Barberton. I've never mentioned that before ever in my blog. Just 'btown'. The things people come up with! I feel violated, and dirty!!!

I look forward to the new year. I will have a lot more accomplishments, because I will have someone who believes in me! And loves me and my 7 kids! Mom said I'd be lucky to find someone who loved my kids! Guess I'm lucky! And Speaking of my kids, my cats now have a webpage at catster. It's like myspace for cats. It rocks! Fizzgig started a blog herself. I bet they talk shit about me!

Today's Question:

Care to share any of YOUR resolutions??

My resolutions, made here for all to see and remind me if I don't attain them....are:
1)Pay off credit card, at least 1.
2)Save up a minimum of $1,000
3)Join 401K
4)Quit second job when 1-3 are accomplished
5)Get married
6) Honeymoon at a beach so CP can fulfill his promise to me...wink wink....

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

All Work and No Play Makes Jack....


There is a word for it actually. I think it occurs most often after weddings. You feel let down after all the pent up excitement or something? I dunno, I feel like crap though. It might also be due to the fact that the only leaving the house I did for the past 3 days was for 5 min yesterday while driving to the library to drop off books.

That, and I got PMS. I also have a stomach ache from not eating right for a week, and my whole body is retaining boatloads of water due to PMS, and...well, not drinking enough water. So I just feel like crap in general. Top that off with coming back to work(s) and you have one pissed off chick!

Yesterday was me and CP's 6 month mile marker. Neither of us realized this, until I brought it up in bed. Half a year. Wow. Time flies!

On the way to work this morning I was wondering again about when I can quit my second job. I'm thinking, the more I delay it the harder it will be. People always tell you when to have kids, that if you wait til your ready you'll never have them. I think this is the same thing. I'll always need the money so long as I'm making it. I really want to quit. I really want to go back to the gym when I was happy. I felt so much better. I want to have a clean house. A life. Friends. I think its the estrogen getting to me. It happens.

Me and CP need to shit or get off the pot with the wedding arrangements. I really wanna get married this year, but I seriously doubt that is financially possible. I had a small first wedding, and still got a loan for 5 grand. I'm not taking out one single solitary loan!! Plus, I want us to have our affairs in order first! Meaning, our own freaking finances! I want us to be debt free (mostly) going into it, so we can have a fresh start. I can't do that AND save up for a wedding. All by myself to boot!! So....check back on this ongoing saga of.......will she ever get married?!! Not looking so hopeful. Might have to be spring 2007 !! Maybe we'll live in semi-sin forever. (semi, cus we're engaged, God appreciates that!)

So, the question on my mind today is, how to get everything I need done so I can quit my mutha fuckin second job!!!!!!!! I have to stay at least thru January to get my $200 insurance money. After that, I'm not responsible for!

I also know, that I'll get to work tonight and probably be ok with it. It is just that having 3 days off gives one a glimmer of hope....a look into what it is like to have a life, and...you want more. Cus, having a life for me now, means I have time to do laundry and clean other than midnight! I'd like to have a life where I can go DO SOMETHING during the WEEK! GASP!

Christmas, it was like 60 degrees, the snow melted. I turned the heat off cus it was freaking hot! Yesterday, freezing cold again. I think Ohio owns the rights to fucking with your seasonal minds. No wonder there are so many murderers and psychopaths here!

I love Forever Eden. I forgot all about the shit that went down on that show, why did they take it off again? Ohhhhhhh yes, there was a story line, it was entertaining, and it was on FOX. Fox cancels everything good! Tru Calling anyone? Reunion anyone? Forever EDEN!? This guy Wallace was playing 2 chicks on the island. Mind you they all live together, sooooooo it was great! They had a trial that they never aired, and they were sentenced to sit in a jail for 3 hours together, while he had to listen to the truth which drove him crazy! He had to face that he had hurt 2 women. I hope his dick fell off eventually! Asshole!

Katie told me Lane Bryant is having a freaking bra sale! Buy 2 get 2 free!!!! That means, I'm going to have to spend 50 bucks on bras, but I'll get $100 in merchandise!!!! Get out there and give your girls a lift gals! Tis the season for new bras! Know how long its been since I had cute bras? Since I wore a B cup. You do the math! That was long, long, long ago!

Today's Question:

What would you most easily be driven to kill for?

My life. Or, if someone catches me on a bad day I can't be held responsible.

Monday, December 26, 2005

You Look Mah-valous...

I'm adopting this look for my new blog.

It's a bigger project than I had anticipated. I didn't do one of the generic ones that you just paste and all your stuff transfers, I'm actually re-coding a basic layout that I liked. I like doing things the hard way, you learn more. I dunno when it'll be done, I worked on the damn thing 6 hours and I'm nowhere near being started, let alone done. Back to works tomorrow. No time for a life!

My Christmas was fun! We had chicken tenderloins here at our residence. Meant to be breasts but they sold out last week! I made em with stuffing, cream of chicken, and onion soup and swiss cheese. It was a hit. Breasts would've been way better! And we had parsley potatos with butter and parsley that I borrowed from the bunnies. And corn, and apple delight. I loved the apple delight, apple pie filling and yellow cake. Could it be any easier? YUM!

CP was up Friday night baking billions of cookies. He made Tayray a tin and I gave her a xmas plate for them. We had my brother, CP's daughter, Bubba, Alan, Tayray and Todd all over for a bit. We watched Mr. Hankie the Christmas Poo. CP's kid wasn't there. I think she liked my gift the best cus she played with it the most! We also watched Polar Express. It is really hard for me not to cuss around children. Just an observation.

I got a mister, that has a light in it that changes color. It's cool, it makes the air moist. I put some of my sisters essential oils she mixed up in it, and it disperses it in the mist, pretty freakin cool! CP also got me 'The Forgotton' (that movie about fucking aliens!) book ends, hello kitty stationary set (cus she is the coolest ever no matter what my brother says about her being for 5 year olds, I USE to be five you know!), DVD cases and case inserts for the computer, so that our burned DVD's (for personal use only) look like real live DVD's which is pretty bad-ass, a laser pointer for the cats which is hours of enjoyment.

We watched Crash, which is a good movie about how we are all a little racist and it brings evil unto you. That was my lesson at least. And the 40 year old virgin, hilarious! I watched The Wedding Date, classic. We still have Stealth, and Robots to watch.

As I sit here eating a salad I can say this....

I've eaten enough friggin' junk to feed a small nation, and I'm not feeling too hot for it! I can't wait to get back to regular food...and some exercise. My skin is puffy! I feel disgusting! Go away holidays, go, the fuck, away!!!

Next wknd is New Years, we're all getting a Limo to party responsibly. And you should know, that by responsibly, I mean, we're not driving drunk...not that we're gonna be sticks in the mud.
I'm off to tinker with my blog skin and enjoy my last day of freedom!

(This might include the Sims....CP burned a bunch of versions for the computer, controling people has never been so easy! Mine shall have 50 cats, and some rabbits. It's addictive, and they can't dump or hate you, cus their fucking sims, and they do what you say!!!)

Today's Question:

What did Santa bring you?

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Hey Santa!...

I did one of those mad lib santa letters, and it turned out to be perfect.
In my own defense, I had no idea what the fuck an adverb is, so that is why it's signed the way it is. Had I known what it was for, I might have been better. Enjoy!

Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Kat's Office party. It was Tayray who spiked the punch with too much Rum Diddily Ummmm. I can't help it if I drank 8 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Vanilla.

I thought it was funny when I put Beth's New Push Up Bra on my head and danced the Humpty Dance on the Ottoman while singing `My Humps'. I didn't mean to break Kat's Fukuyou 2000 and don't know why Kat would accuse me of Arsen.

I don't remember calling Brandon's wife a Frigid Sheep---even though she looked like one with Blue eye shadow and Purple lipstick!

And when I threw up on Katie's husband's pelvis, it was only because I ate too much of that Pizza.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Mini Cooper through my neighbor's Chimminey. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a fucking Cat and have me arrested for DUI!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all rough and tough. And I'm really not to blame for any of this shitty stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and HUH? yours,
Mon (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 16 bucks!

Friday, December 23, 2005

And Now...Your Serving of Useless Gossip!...

So, the new neighbors are moving in. Technically their Tayray's neighbors but there is only 4 apartments in our building. I got home last night, and someone pulled up beside me in front of Tayray's garage. I'm staring at them thinking it was Tayray cus she was coming over to get online. They went into the neighbors house. Yet, they parked their inconsiderate asses in front of Tayray's garage!!! I dunno about you all, but that is just fucking rude! What if she wanted to leave? What if she wasn't home? Our parking lot is like a turnaround so there isn't much parking but c'mon! I called her and she knew why I was calling, she was pissed too.

I trotted my butt upstairs and made myself a sign that says NO PARKING PLEASE and posted it on my garage door! Back off bitches! Let some mother fucker park in front of MY garage! We all know how protective I am over my garage!!

So, I'm getting my bath and Tayray called and said the cops were at the neighbor's house. This is great. We already think their drug dealers. LOL! I think she moved in yesterday? Their corrupting our quiet little neighborhood! Will it be safe to walk in the streets? Can we leave our doors unlocked (accidentally I know I'm dumb!) without the fear of being robbed and murdered? Will they steal little Billy to sell her for her fur to the chinese, so that they can score some blow? I mean, there goes the freaking neighborhood!

So I did what anyone else would do. I got out of the tub and turned out the lights, and well, snooped! I havn't had this much fun being nosey, since we use to spy on Katie's gay neighbors at her moms house! Those were some good times man!

Heres something weird. My friend Cathy called me. From Florida. Why is it weird? Only cus I emailed her today for the first time in like almost a year, and she called me. She works in the car, so it's weird ok? Take my word for it. It's fun to have exciting news when you talk to someone you havn't talked to in a while. (Duh, I got engaged!!)

CP had a night job. He said he might get cookies. I said 'where ya goin?' cus our family friend owns a restaurant and gives out cookies to all the customers. Turns out, thats where he was going. It's a small world! Poor CP had another threat...better treat her good or else....it's so nice to be loved!

I'm working on changing my blog look. I'm bored with it. That is the wknd project. If you don't like it, tough shit!!

Today's Question:

Ever spy on the neighbors?

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Shout Out...

I'd like to give a special shout out to CP who single handedly downloaded (LEGALLY-don't screw your favorite struggling artists!) My Edwin singing Silent Night. It gave me the goosebumps to hear his voice sing something I'd never heard him sing. (This too, can be yours for 99 cents at Itunes!)

Then, I'd like to thank CP for still doing the deed with me, after I admitted the following thing while listening to his CD:

CP: Can we listen to something else?
ME: What do you wanna hear?
CP: I dunno, I just don't want to get it on while you are thinking about Edwin.
ME: I don't think about anyone but you
CP: Yea right.
ME: Seriously! He's a married man! Soon he'll have babies!
CP: What if he quits singing when he has a family?
ME: Well, I'd have to kill his kids.
CP: Did I hear you right?
ME: Probably.
CP: Did you say you'd kill his kids? You shouldn't want to kill anyone, let alone kids.
ME: Well, then he better never stop singing.
CP: You'd go to jail
ME: No one would know, he isn't popular enough
CP: I'd turn you in (oh no he di'int!)
ME: You wouldn't hear about it, so you couldn't turn me in.
CP: I think that word would get around.
ME: You know, in a court of law, you aren't required to testify against your spouse.
CP: Well, I WOULD testify against you.
ME: That is wrong, then they would take me away from you!
CP: Then don't kill anyone.
ME: Well....Til death do us part, right? I guess you gotta die too.

Then we made sweet love.
(me and CP...not me and Edwin)

Hello Computer....

I have been so out of the entertainment news lately cus I havn't read my last 3 Entertainment Weekly's. No time to read. Blah Blah, no life, Blah, no past times, blah, exercise eck, life, poo, you get the picture. It blows!

Anyhow! I have seen the future of television...and it is good!! They made this nifty new TiVo that will come with software, to hook up to your computer!! They talk! You can download stuff from your computer, to TiVo and watch it. This is some serious Jetson's shit right here!
And, you can send stuff from TiVo to the computer and share it with others!
Hello Computer, I'm Tivo. Hello Tivo, I'm computer! Let's make magical television dreams come true together!

And, network television is also coming in with some changes. Soon, they are offering 'on demand' programming, like is available now on TiVo and DVR. So, you can for instance order an episode of The Office for 99 cents. They say they are now starting to include DVR in neilson ratings, since everyone records their shows, and time slots will become less and less important.

One of the perks of this is, no commercials at all. They wont even need to be fast forwarded. The bad part? Product placement, which I've seen on 'Passions' a lot. (so sometimes i watch that dumb soap, its FUNNY!) Oh, look at me use my brilliant brunette shampoo! GAY!

The future of TV sets is they say they are going to go more towards interactive menus, like, searching for shows by key words, or actors. Oh......you mean, like TIVO does already? He finds me my Tom Green no matter where he is, and my Edwin McCain, and Paris Hilton. Oh my wish list is long. I don't ask for much! Catch up dumbfucks!!!!!! Been there, done that!

Can I say that I've got PMS and today I hate everything that is me? Ok, I think I just did!

This was hilarious:

Good news: Mary-kate Olsen gained 20 pounds. Bad news: Ashley Olsen is missing.

This is even funnier:

I'm listening to the radio, it is Dec. 22, this guy said he hasn't eaten since August. 4 months with no food wouldn't that kill you?

Today's Merry Christmas is brought to you by:
The bitch at my second job who wears the white Britney Spears hat.
Last night crazy cane guy had his shoes off and his feet smell like ass. He doesn't get in trouble cus he wears slippers. His slippers have huge holes in them, letting the stank escape. Ok, he was jamming out too loud to his music and bitch POUNDED on his desk and told him to turn it down because she couldnt hear her headphones over his.

He's 'special' crazy, but 'special'. Guess Santa didn't get her nothin this year! Bitch!

Today's Question:

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

I think scientifically the rate of chucking wood as per the ratio of the woodchucks teeth is roughly 2.6 squar inches per second, so therefore in an hour a woodchuck could theoretically (sp?) chuck 3 feet of wood per hour if said woodchuck chucked wood continuously, with no breaks.

(of course this is bullshit)

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Life Is Like a Box of Chocolates....

The moral of the story here, is.... it's MY box of chocolates. And when you have a box of chocolates all to yourself. You have the luxury of smashing each and every one of them without anybody bitching about it. You can even open them and take a bite and toss them out. Those creme filled ones are for the birds. My trash is filled up with wrappers and bitten, half eaten nasty raisen clusters, that like to parade around like their peanut clusters, and my box is filled with squished cremes. I save the squished cremes cus some people will still eat them. Their individually wrapped, so my finger never actually penetrated the chocolate, it's like safe chocolate squishing.

MY CHOCOLATES! Smashie Smashie!

So I guessed that there were 505 snowman turds in the jar yesterday. They trusted Tayray to count the shits since she works in finance. There was like 700. The closest guess was 687. I got totally ripped out of a Starbucks gift card on that one. And, a jar of snowman crap! I really thought I hit the nail on the head. I thought about it all day!

It's hump day and I feel like a fat lard. My system needs an anema. No. More. Junk. Food! Bleh!

I didn't bake a single cookie. Not one! It's really unlike me! I usually make my yummy shortbread cookies dipped in butterscotch and chocolate. Buckeyes....with rice krispies! Peanut butter krinkles with reese cups instead of the hershey kiss. The upside of not baking is i wont be sick for days upon days from eating so much crap. Oh....wait, I already am. UGH........

I get off 1 hour early from my second job Friday. Whoopty ding dong daddy! A whole freakin hour! Watch out 8:00 cus IM OFF WORK! Friday will really suck ass, getting off at noon and going to work at 5. Wtf? Oh well. A perk of 2 jobs? (cus I need to convince myself how much I love it) .....two Christmas parties!!!! Got another one tonight! Although, I'll only eat what my only 3 friends there make, cus I don't have much confidence in the abilities of the mentally challenged to cook. Rather not come across any special 'suprises'. Did I make anything? Do I look like I have time?

Well, the girl I sit by at job 2, and talk to all the time, and take breaks with.....is looking for another job. I am the curse of Job 2. Sit by me! You'll realize how much your job sucks and you'll leave me like everyone else has left me! I dunno if I can stand it if she leaves!!!!!!!!

CP works the next 2 nights. Poor me. I miss him when he's gone! I got a massage last night. I melted like butter. Nothing like it. Felt. Fantastic.

Happy winter solstice! Go home and do some witchery! I plan to!

Today's Question:

What do you think about regifting?

I am against re-gifting. I can see the arguement that it is putting to good use a shitty gift, but you can also give it to the good will, or throw it away, and hurt no ones feelings.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


For your veiwing pleasure....

A 16 foot tall snowman in Alaska! If it weren't below zero I'd make a bigger one, just to say I did it.

(I'm lying. I'd throw out my back or break my foot)

Back To The Salt Mines.....

I'm back to work. It's a joyous occassion. It's negative 5 today with the wind chill.

I had a bag of snowman poop on my desk too. I'm pretty fucking offended. POOP! Someone, wants me to believe, these marshmallowas are SNOWMAN POOP! And what's worse, they expect me to eat it! Then, count the snowman turds in a jar? I think not! I don't think I've ever been so offended in my entire life!!!

Someone, went ahead and put the 'p' on poop. Someone has got some freaking balls, to go above management dammit, and now, I'm going to put a comment in the comment box and start some shit! I can't believe the nerve of some people! Funny thing is, I bet someone really DOES complain! Some people are just assholes with no sense of fun!

I also got my $50 gift card to Applebees and chocolates from our printer. Year before last, one of my cards hadn't been activated, and he gave me $50 in cash. I'm telling you, he's the nicest guy. Puts up with all our companies crap too.

What else did I get? Oh, a potted succulant plant arrangement (that's industry talk, figure it out on your own)spiced tea, Kitties got some pounce, a cat shirt, cosmetic bag. I won one day in the holiday contest, $5 to McDonalds. I rule. I got the arch card. You all suck. (unless you got one too I spose!)

I just heard a rumor (from Tayray) that we get off work at noon this Friday. If this is true, I'm taking off at my second job, cus how bad does that suck to get home and have to turn around to work in 3 hours? I also heard, we get off at 3pm the Friday following that. Normally, they make us wonder and wait around forever on the day to 'see if we can leave'. This is progress for our little company! It's up to our mgr, and I'm pretty sure she'll let us go, cus our mgr rocks!

Can Christmas come and go already, so I can stop eating food again? God, I have ate so much crap and not enough water and my skin is suffering for it. Bad me! You're 30 now, must take special care of our old selves!

Attention Reality junkies! Forever Eden has started on Reality Network! Oh, you all remember the show. The one they lied to us about being on "FOREVER........." and then they canceled it with not another word. I havn't seen any 'why's' or 'how's yet. Just that the people said they were also misled to believe it could go on forever. Assholes! That was some good drama! Who knows who ever won. I'll keep you posted, as there's behind the scenes, and interviews of the people on the network. Reality Network rules.

And, speaking of ruling, so does this stuff! What a lazy society we have become, but I love it! No man can say he doesn't do toilets again!

Today's Question:

What aspect of your reputation is least deserved?

Hmmm...I think I come off as bitchy, and unapproachable, cus I'm shy with new people. I got that a lot in high school, and I think still, cus people still don't really talk to me first. I'm a nice gal! talk to me!

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Saturday Night Fever...

I had a blast Saturday night! It was my birthday celebration. First, me and CP went to his work Xmas party. It was at the Cathedral Buffet, I didn't see Ernest Angley though. Found out a guy works with him that I went to school with and he fathered an old friends child. Small world!

CP finished his shot list with the help of all my peeps. Tayray, Todd, Bethie, Brandon, Kat, and CP we're the party goer's. My one friend stood me up as she always does, even on my 30th....and Bubba was sick. Anyhoo...I think it was 100 shots total. Some of them sucked, some people took some for the team, some of us only drank the yummy ones!

The DJ missed us. We hadn't been in forever. He played Hung Up for me, Madonna. And Tayray had him play me 50 cent.....In Tha Club.....we gonna party like, it's your birthday..you know the one. Although, she also told him to announce it was my THIRTIETH birthday. Oh well. I've embraced it. He also played Pussy Control, Ditty, and Ice Ice Baby. It was all the fabulous 90's. Of course, the hula hoops came out. CP tried it a few times, so did Todd. Tayray seems to still be the reigning champ though. Bubba is pretty good at the neck hula.

Kat got him to play the vagina song lol. You know...I need to find a...new vagina...It totally rocked! As always we were the life of the bar, but you'll have that!

I do remember everything. Like, the fact that this guy my brother use to be friends with years ago was there for about an hour. He spotted us, he knew me and Kat so I know that he felt dumb and thats why he left. Why you might ask?

Oh....he only snuck into my moms room one night and lifted up the covers to see her in the buff! Classic! No one heard from him since then. Then, he shows up at our bar. I tried to call my brother but he wasn't around. That...would've been even funnier, if he showed up!

Gifts! Bethie got me the cutest purse that I switched to today, and a yummy candle that I'm burning in here to get rid of the rank rabbit stank. Their condo was especially disgusting this week with me being gone and not cleaning their litter out. They went wherever they wanted in there. STANK! Kat got me NARS Body Glow! Which, is this bronzing liquid that JLO and Jessica Simpson use, I'm totally like a celebrity now! I wanted that stuff since we saw it at the body shop, and she got it for me! She also got me these socks that say "It's All About Me" on them. And, the grand finally, a box of wine! Who doesn't love them a box of wine? Loves it!

The sign of a good night? The bar tab. Ours was $54. I think Bethie's was closer to $100. But we had fun, right?

I had so much fun with my friends. I'm lucky to have friends who like to kickit with me when I'm able...which isn't very often.... *can't. wait. to. quit. second. job.* We danced and laughed. I stole a poster from the bathroom for Bethie...I forgot to call and see if she liked it today like she did last night. LOL.

Tayray called today to see if I was hung over. I said no, that's the beauty of getting old. You learn your limits, and hangover cures. Mine, happens to be 2 tylenol, and a glass of water before bed. Of course, starting off with a good 'base' of dinner. And...knowing what alchohol to mix, or not mix. So there Tayray, laugh it up about us being old. I was up with a spring in my step today! Nevermind that my feet hurt from dancing. I still had a spring!

CP got me a sex on the beach, cus I made him promise to have sex with me on the beach. We had a nice night at home too, of celebration. Just like old times. The honeymoon isn't over yet. We're still in loooooove.

I'll post pic's later in the day. It's actually Sunday night. So, more like, tomorrow, but, today. Or, today is yesterday's tomorrow. Or, tomorrow is yesterday's today. Deep. That's me.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Let The Shopping...BEGIN! And END!...

The order of the day, is, shopping. I cannot for the life of me understand why I waited til this wknd to do my Christmas shopping. Oh, yes I can..I had no money! Paying my bills off, and living, and going on vacation. Yes, thats why! I am the girl you hate that always had her shopping done in November. I loved that! And, I'm never waiting again. The pressure I feel to perform today, is killing me! I HAVE to buy things. No, next weekend. No, next week, I am back to working 2 jobs on Tuesday.

However, I DO have 2 4 day weeks in a row, then it's the new year! I am off both jobs for 2 days! Heavenly Bliss!

Riding home last night, I realized, I didn't get my liscense tags. We go by birthdate here..so, I'm unofficially breaking the law. I feel that in my wise old age, this is a stupid thing to do! I have personalized plates though, and it costs $100. Don't tell anyone, but I'm going to wait until the end of the month. Hopefully if I get pulled over, they'll understand I have no time. I don't however, have to get a stupid fucking E check, since I live in a different county than everyone else. Guess living in BFE has its perks, huh?!

I had a fun note on the garage door from CP when I got home. Some instructions. He's romantic when he wants to be.

I just talked to Tayray. Her shindig was a good time. When we got there (it was a long, cold walk!) she was already realllllllly drunk! She kept forcing shots on me. In the span of 2 hours, I had 3 beers and 4 shots of crown. Plus some other stuff. I was messed up, but not too bad. CP left early so I came here to tuck him in, and I left out the back door. I thought my back door was open but it wasn't so I had to trek down the icy hill and slid down on my ass. I totally meant to do it, yea! I intended to go back over but I fell asleep with CP. He was warm and cuddly. I just love my new bed too!! I was suppose to go back over to Tayrays when CP fell asleep.

She asked if I came back over, cus she woke up with her male friend in a compromising position. I said uhhhhh no, thank God! She was happy too lol! She was really really in rare form last night. Bethie's husband gave me a special present that I'll cherish and make last! And Bubba got me a gift card for TARGET and a cute hello kitty wallet that she put it in. She's so creative. I can't wait to buy me something with it!

Back out again this evening for the official celebration. I really need a tan. I havn't gone in over a month. I'm pasty. Bleh. I also have to go to CP's work Xmas party tonight at the Cathedral Buffet. I've never been to it. I'm nervous about meeting people, cus that's how I am. I'll be glad when I can cut loose with my homies, get my drinkon, have some laughs, and cut a rug on the dance floor at the Bier Haus.

No mom, I'm NOT driving!

I took the cutest video of my bunny Chelsea playing with her slinky, I'm trying to adjust the lighting so I can post it. She picks it up and drops it and when she gets it fanned out in the classic slinky stance, she rubs her whiskered face back and forth over it like she is playing the harmonica. She is adorable! Bunnies love to play!

Friday, December 16, 2005

Just Call Me Negative Nelly....

Cus, you know, normally I'm sooooo negative. (This is a huge load of bullshit btw)

The morning started out with CP in a bad mood. When we talked later on, it started an arguement, because I am always wrong, and he is always right. He is the one who took my cigarettes this morning cus he was out of it, but I'm the one who doesn't remember what happened earlier.


I feel like crap. I was miserable last night and all I wanted was to feel loved. I can't say that he didnt lay with and hold me for 2 hours before he went to bed, but I just havn't been feeling it. I guess my expressing that was bad, even though he told me to tell him when I felt that way and we'd never have problems. He told me my being negative is a turnoff. Huh? I told him that I didn't like the way he was this morning cus I never heard him use the word FUCK before. I, use it loosley. To me, it's like saying hello. He, doesn't. He got really defensive and started yelling at me, not talking, yelling about it. Cus, I'm always wrong.

I hung up on him and turned my phone off because he can't listen to me. He wouldn't shut up. I calmly said, "why are you yelling?... why are you yelling at me?... I'm not going to be yelled at, goodbye" all of which I'd bet a million dollars he didn't hear. I spent the majority of my life being yelled at by men, and while it was quite different, it was yelling nonetheless, and it brings back the same fear, and scared feelings, that I don't wish to deal with. He knows this.

Enough about my bizzzzzness..speaking of money! I signed an insurance waiver at job #2 since I have insurance with job #1. So, I get $400 for free! The down side of that, is I get $200 in my first check in January, and $200 in the first check in June. In June, is also when we get our bonuses, of around $400. So now, I'm considering working there until June to get an extra $800 bucks for free! I planned to quit in the spring. January has been 1 year! I am the only one who started that job that lasted a year. Tayray was like 5 months, Bubba went on a leave before her year was up but almost made it. I dunno how we will ever afford a wedding.

I also have made more money this year than I ever imagined possible. My second job gave me 1/2 of my normal salary....A buttload to me! And....I don't have much to show for it. So, that is depressing! I gotta buckle down in January.

So, today sucks. I now have to go out and get cigarettes when I hadn't planned on leaving the house til I had to go to work. Which, by the way, really sucks. Working 5-9 on days off is a waste of a fucking day. By the time I get shit done around the house and go to leave, its time to go to work so I can't do anything. I cant shop cus god only knows how long itll take, and I live 1/2 hr from my second job.

Yesterday was our marketing luncheon. It was a lot of fun, we had some laughs. I miss work. I know I'm gay, but I really like my job and who I work with. I'd be jealous too cus not many people can say that. I made out like a bandit! The president drew my name for the gift exchange. I got a butterfly candle lamp it matches my bedroom perfect, it's so pretty! On my desk, I had a cocoa set, a hello kitty calendar, twisted whiskers calendar, and a liposuction thing for my bday. Plus a big sign stating '30'. And, Tayray put stuff at my desk too!

I also got a potted plant yesterday, and in my stocking our ornament, some candy, and little hill got some chewies and treats too from Linda's furkids.

Tayray is having a party tonight. I'll make an appearance. I feel like holey hell and I need to rest up for my own 30th celebration tomorrow. Bad timing is what we call this! Too much partying in 2 days when we live too far for people to travel to.

I sure hope tomorrow is a better day than today. I've been up for 1/2 hour and it royally sucks!

Hope I didn't turn you all off with my negativity. I'm just one big, fat, turnoff! Eat it!

Today's question:

Ever feel like somebody's watching you?

Yes. definately!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Take 2 Of These And Call Me In The Morning....

So, I kicked 30's ass. I won, by a landslide! I even beat it on death's door.

For my birthday, I slept the entire day. And, I was still tired. I am sick as a dog. My eyes are swollen and I want to pop them out of my head to releive the pain. I have shits so bad that on my 30th birthday I had to squash my own crap with a toilet brush to unclog the toilet. I have no plunger. I have bloody snot, and an upset stomach. I am suppose to get my party on this wknd, so I better shape up!

I had to work at job 2 last night. I went in my grubby clothes I slept in, and didn't fix my hair. Most people wear their pajamas, so I still didn't look the worst. CP came in at like 6, he just tapped me on the shoulder. I said "I thought you were going home to bed?" He said he just got off work and stopped in to have a break with me, so I got my coat on and he directed me into the break room where there were people waiting for me.

He got me a cake! And candles that said '30'. Everyone sang happy birthday to me and we had cake. I told him earlier in the week that I hadn't had a cake in years, and he got me one. He really surpised me. He's the best!

I had to go to the store to get stuff to make peanut butter pies for work tomorrow. I am going in for our marketing luncheon. I missed the company lunch but sleep was much better. I also have to go to some fish store and get a gift card for the guy whose name I drew in the gift exchange. He wanted some fancy fishing stuff, so I'm just opting for the card. I feel like hell. Shopping doesn't excite me.

I didn't get any birthday action, no 7 days of bliss as I had anticipated. I'm blaming it on vacation with family, and being sick. Certainly not cus now I'm 30.

I really miss my momma and sis. I dunno why they don't suck it up and move home! We got a nice big affordable apartment in the building, waiting for some cool people to move into!

I cleaned the kitchen and the carpets on my birthday. And, it didn't really bother me. God, I am getting old!!!

(I've been slacking on questions cus I am not feeling creative)

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

The Big 3-0 Has Arrived!!!....

When I got home from the trip, Tayray had decorated my apartment with various 30 paraphanalia. I thought it was funny.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Ok, so I don't feel any different today. Aside from a pounding head, the raging shits, and a runny nose. I'm sick. That happens when you travel from freezing snow, to jacket weather, to freezing snow again. And, it always happens when I'm on vacation, so I'm use to it. CP waited up til midnight to give me a special treat cus he loves me. I told him "I'm 30" he said I'm still young. But, no fanfare. No big ta-do. 30 came pretty easily I guess. I do know that I'm not leaving the house til I work tonight and I'm going right to bed. I feel like hell!

Getting older is scarey, but I also wouldn't trade it for like, 18. Or, 21. I would like to look like I did then, but not act like I did. God I was insecure! It is too bad that you actually have to get older, to realize that getting older is actually better. I know I never would've believed that one in a billion years!

People tell you that, and you laugh at them. Well, I'm here to tell you, I'm 30, flirty and fabulous (I ripped that from 13 going on 30).

30 isn't so bad. I am happy with myself. I like who I am as a person. I couldn't say that in my early 20's. I didn't like me. I hadn't figured me out yet. I'm pretty complex.

I had to do a life history report on myself my senior year, and I include here, in honor of my being 30, some excerpts. 30 years is a lot to write about, this is the basics!

I was born in Ohio December 14, 1975 at 3:59 p.m. I was due, November 22. To this day, I am too attached to my momma. She named me after a girl she went to school with, my middle name was after an actress (whom I've never heard of). She said she named us all after a famous person because she knew we would be intellegent and go far.

I was 10 months old when I started to walk, 4 months old when I got my first tooth. I lost my first tooth at 5 when I fell off a picinic table. My first word was "mum". I fed myself at 10 months old, potty trained at 15 months. I didn't suck my thumb, or wet the bed. I got my own bike at 7, from the TRASH at that! It had a flowered banana seat. My brother taught me to ride my bike in the back yard, on a hill. He would hold the back seat and let go when I got going. I learned to swim with water wings.

I got my first bank account at 16, to get a new car. I achieved that goal when I saved up $1,000 and my dad matched it. In 1993 I bought a 1986 silver Dodge Omni. That ride was sweeeet! My first car, that my dad bought for me for $500 was a maroon Ford Grenada. 1982. It was 10 years old when I got it. It got me to work. And cruising. I saved up $2,000 then, and bought myself a 1992 cavalier, in 1994. It was my first car with payments. It was black, had tinted windows, and just plain rocked. My sister and brother taught me to drive, my mom was scared shitless of me driving.

I went on my official first date at 14. His mom drove us to see "Dances with Wolves" I was sick and coughed through the entire 3 hour movie. We held hands.

The first movie I saw at the theater was Brer Rabbit and the Tar Baby. My first job was at Taco Bell unless you count the times I babysat, which was a dumb idea given that I know nothing about kids. I probably ruined that kid for life, cus I'd shut her in her room when she screamed and cried! I made good money at the Bell for a fast food joint.

My allowence in high school was $10 a week. I had to work for it too. My mom didn't hesitate to keep it if I didn't do any work around the house. I bought my own toiletries then.

When I was 9 I stopped believing in Santa Clause. My Mom couldn't answer me why Santa had the same paper we did each year. I knew the Easter Bunny was a crock when each year I asked for a REAL bunny, and I'd get a stuffed one. I insisted my real rabbit hopped away and would look forever for it. My mom seemed pretty certain I didn't have one. How would she know what the Easter Bunny left me?

My first loyal friend was Valerie...who died in a car accident when we were 15. This had a huge impact on my life, and fear of abandonment. Shortly after she died, I cut myself 15 times with a carpet cutter. I wasn't trying to kill myself, or I would have. I just wanted to feel pain, physically. It distracts from mental pain. I did that stuff in school, but back then, it was unheard of. Now, people talk about it, openly, and it's called cutting. I'm scarred for life from all of the times I did it. I'm always reminded of how hard it was to grow up for me. I did it a lot but that was the worst, and the only time I got 'caught' because the ambulance came to get me.

I'm afraid of the dentist, because of having my wisdom teeth pulled. I am forever terrified to go back, he was a quack.

Memorable family vacations to me were the times we went to Salt Fork, and stayed in a cabin for a week. We went hiking, fishing, and swimming. Those were family vacations that I remembered when my Mom and Dad were married. I stayed a summer with my sister in South Carolina when I was in high school. I wasn't allowed to leave her apartment though cus she lived in a bad area.

I was paddled when I was little. And, I'm not a homocidal maniac either. I learned to respect authority, and I didn't get into trouble like kids today do! I feel sorry for people with kids who can't smack the shit out of them when they deserve it. They turn into brats!

I use to like kids, and I use to want a black baby. I thought they were much cuter than white babies.

At the time I wrote this story, the most embaressing thing to me was performing in a band competition. We had plumes on our hats. It was a windy day, and my hat slowly kept blowing back off my head. You get judged on everything, and I had a judge in my face, I think, trying to see how I handled the situation. So, like the trooper that I am I kept on playing, and let the damn hat fall off backwards and strangle me. We got a superior rating at that competition. For non-band geeks, that's the highest you can get...mkay?

One of my biggest fears is being murdered. (I do live in ohio!)

Once I ate road salt. It made me throw up in about 1 minute after eating it. I did it to go inside for recess, and it worked. I always did average in school. I set a goal to reach a 3.0 my junior year and I did. That was the best I ever did.

At 17, my dream man is......
Loving, no matter what! Has a good job, not an executive type, but physical labor. He doesn't drink, or do drugs. He loves to shower me with attention. His friends aren't dorks. Of course, he has got to be cute and have a nice butt! He is funny, but serious. He will always treat me with respect, and never hurt me, or cheat on me.

That's about all I have time for. I'm feeling like hell and I'm crawling back into bed. Which, by the way, is 5 inches higher since I put my bed lifts on, has a nice sage dust ruffle, and matching synthetic down comforter. I washed my new flannel sheets and am putting them on the bed and hiding from the world. Fear not, I'm alive and well. Just sick, and 30. It'll all pass!

Monday, December 12, 2005

Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow...

We're leaving. It's depressing. We'll get on the road around 5. I have to work at the second job Tuesday at 5. I can hardly wait. I'll be so sad when I leave.

I got my comforter yesterday. It ended up being $114, Momma had to charge it for me and I wrote her a check. Assholes, had the sale sign wayyyyy down from where the items on sale were. It was $50 off, but no $60 dolla! But, its stain resistant, comes with pillow shams, and a new dust ruffle. I can't wait to make up my new bed. I got bed risers, and new sheets! I'll also be happy to see the babies. I know they miss me like I miss them. It's so hard to leave them. If I remotely liked children, I expect it would be harder, cus they can lay guilt trips. "Please don't leave me moooooommy". It would break my heart. Hm. Reason number 234,570,460,983,469 not to have children. I'll remember that!

Speaking of, of course Momma had to ask CP if she was going to get any grandbabies out of me! Let it rest you have 7 from me already. And that is a lot!

We saw the xmas lights on the beach last night. It was really neat to be at the ocean and see Xmas lights. Like a whole new world to us Ohioans! They have lights on the beach, and at the hotels, and you drive down the boardwalk and ooh and ahhh. My sister wouldn't get gas before we went so we thought we were going to be stranded in line at the Xmas lights! You could seethem on a horse and carriage too, isn't that romannnnnntic?

We played scattergories, which was kinda hard. Me and CP kicked ASSSSSS at pictionary. Was there any doubt? I think not.

I forgot to mention that my Momma is a trash picker. She tried to feed us apples she found in the trash at work. "There's nothing wrong with them" she said. Yea, except for the fact that you got them out of the trash. She cut them up finally with new apples in an effort to confuse us. CP fell for it but I didn't.

I made the rounds, picking out what I would steal from my mom and sis before I leave. They put a note on a sheep that says hands off me. Sheesh, you'd think I take everything they own or something! They won't let me have nothin!

CP is saying goodbye to his girlfriend at the 7 11. I think he had it going on with her cus it was his second home when we were here. Went a few times a day. MMMM HMMM! I think he knows better...

I'm gonna go back to sleep for a little bit. I bet that sucks for people who are at work right now. I'll have sweet dreams for you!

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Christmas, Christmas Time Is Near.....

Day 2 in Virginia was a fun one. It took forever for us to get up and around. I called Tayray to check in. She said Billy didn't eat but thats cus I left the bunny room open and she ate the cat food. Bad doggie! I miss the kids, it's hard to be away from them. It's a sickness, I can't help it!

I think CP fits right in with the fam. We're all a bunch of nutcakes!

We went down to the beach today, it's just down the road. I kept saying, hey, we're at the beach, and we're not wearing winter coats! It was chilly but not snowing, mkay? CP got in the friggin ocean, just about up to his knees, cus he's nuts! I took a cool pic of our shadows on the beach. We got our tickets for the Christmas lights. We're going tomorrow to drive on the beach and see Christmas lights! The lady kept trying to sell us a time share. CP wasn't familiar, but I tried to get him out of there and he said we should go, it's a free vacation! Yea, it sure sounds nice, but I know better. We left. I said you can go on your own and they said we had to go together since we were 'married' mmmm hmmm. Scam!

We went into a cool store, that had all kinds of metaphysical stuff. I got some candles for seduction, money, and harmony. I also got some stones for various things, some fung shuei bells, and a real pendulum. I used a rose quartz on a string to communicate with the animals. (go ahead and laugh but it works!) Now I have the real deal!

Me and my momma sat on the corner and sang Christmas carols, very well I might add, and no one even paid attention to us. As if, that sort of thing goes on all the time. No tips either. Rude!

We ate dinner at a diner. I had meatloaf. It was good. Gave me the shits, but good nonetheless!

We went to Kohls to do some last minute shopping. We're going back tomorrow. They have a down comforter, queen size, for 60 bucks! Regular 150!!! You can't pass up a deal like that. It's the perfect color for my bedroom too! Bonus! I get paid next Wed, and I'm turning 30. I think it'll make me happy. Maybe.

Tonight we had Xmas! CP got me for my Bday a George Foreman! I can't wait to use it! I got lots of nice stuff! My momma made mean afgan, my sis made me some bath salts all different scents, they smell good! Hello kitty nightlight, Hello Kitty stamp and stamp pad. (from now on all things I touch shall have the seal of approval of Hello Kitty!), pineapple night light, candles, shoes, a big fat stuffed cat, a cat statue with a girl on it, tea cups and saucers, charms for glasses, a book about the spirit world, cat picture frame, towels, flannel sheets, sunflower bowl, snowman ornament, hello kitty change purse, bad kitty pajamas, yoga pants, cappucinno, catfenated mug (decatf too), sunflower hooks, antique spindles and spools, a flower pot, aromatherapy oil and a stone, a frog prince (who I kissed and found CP too!).

I got more stuff, but it's hard to remember it all at once. Too much pressure! We had some laughs and now we're winding down. Time goes so fast when your not working, I don't get why it can't go fast at work.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Let The Sunshine In!!...

Well, we made it! In one peice! (or in two peices, cus we're two people, but you get the picture) When I got home from my sucky second job, in a snowstorm, I got stuck in my driveway. Couldn't get up, and I slid backwards, and into the ditch, my back wheel was in it! I called CP to come help me and Tayray and her 'man' came out and helped get me out! Talk about stressful!

We had to drive in that shit! We worked all day, me at two jobs, and then got on the road at midnight. It was a long slow trip in the freaking snow! It was BAD! But we are here. And....there is SUNshine! Imagine that! My anti lock brake light came on hopefully my car isn't broken forever, cus that is just my luck.

I have been up for 30 hours now, and I'm thinking, who the hell needs sleep anyways?

I wanna take a nappypoo so I can function properly. Who knows. CP already hates me I think. It didn't take him long.

We're having Christmas tomorrow! Be jealous! I loves the presents!!!!!!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Too Cool For School....

I'm taking a class on HTML today. There is only 3 of us in the class, I am the only girl, including the teacher. And, as expected, I am the smartest one in the class. Meaning, I'm the only one who currently uses HTML even if I don't really know what I am doing, I know how to make things work.

I am the butt of many jokes, as I am the only one using coffe cup editor, everyone else uses dreamweaver. I cant help it my company is cheap! Shit! So they keep playing the coffee cup song..I looooove coffee in a cup!

School sucks. I think my brain might have too much info in it. Errr, somethin! I dunno how my friend Katie is STILL in school. And I don't even have to write a paper or anything. Props my girl....you know this!

The observation of the day, is they use REAL toilet paper in the potty. I mean, like, Charmin! Soft! I guess when you pay $300 for a class, they figure you can wipe your ass with some cushy TP!

If I had to drive to Cleveland on a daily basis, I'd shoot myself. I have too much road rage for that. I was late cus people have to stop for no apparent reason on the expressway. I think this is a patented Ohio move. I don't really run into this in other states so much.

We are leaving tonight for Virginia Beach to see Momma and Sis! Can't wait! We are leaving earlier than expected, due to a hug-gi-normous snow storm that is suppose to be coming. Isn't that just our luck? Put the coffee on guys we're in for a long haul!

We're going to get out of here early cus the class is small. This is exciting cus I wont have to use any benefit time at job 2, and then I'll have 1 hour to use another time. Sing hallelujah!

Breaks over, back to learnin! Peacie!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Decking The Halls...

Some Pics from decorating at work:

I reside on Eggnog Ave:

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We Single handedly decorated the "Amish" tree. Bethie, Me, Tayray:

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The Amish tree:

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I swear these 2 Amish were stuck together like this, so I hung them on the tree. The Amish like to get it on too!

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The lunchroom doorway:

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The Lobby:
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So everyone knows where MY stocking is:

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This is the ghost that lives at work. It's digital so its prob nothing, but it is haunted, and I got 4 pics with this moving through the picture. This is the most prominent view of it:

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Tree in the lunch room:
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A tree in the lobby:

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Lobby view:

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This is me and CP's tree downstairs:

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This is me and CP's tree upstairs: (its fallen over twice, excuse the appearance)

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The tree by night:

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Some ornaments on the tree:
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A centerpeice bubba got from work last year and i got it this year:

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Let's Go Back..Way Back!...

7 Days until I'm 30. Could be worse, I could be 12 again. Following are some direct excerpts from my journal of 10-12 years old. No names have been changed to protect the innocent. All spelling and grammitical errors are the same. I was obviously boy crazy!

Starting with my favorites (at age 10)

Color: Lightish Blue
Clothes: Baggies & big button shirt
Animals: All; unicorn
Boy: (crossed out each name) Daniel, Jeff, Scott
Book: Old Enough To Dream
Magazine: Cosmopolitan, Tiger Beat
REstaurant: Taco Bell & Ponderosa
TV Show: Laverne & Shirley
TV Star: Penny Marshall
Movie: The lost boys & The last Unicorn
Movie Star: Sally Field - Madonna
Singer - Madonna
Group: Bon Jovi
Video: Lucky Star (Madonna)
Car: Feirra (Feiro)
Hobby: Playing trumpet
Sport: Vollyball
Holiday: Valentines Day
Jewelry : Diamonds (i was young but smart!)
Month: May
Season: Fall
State: Pennsylvania
Flower: Lilacs
Stone: Marble
Name: Samantha, Chasity, Mercedes
Vacation: PA
Subject: English
Teacher: Mrs. Gentzler
Extracurricular: Interior Design
Some day I hope to travel to: Hong Kong

**I still love JF. I dream about him a lot.

Just found my diary. We have family living dumb. Not real interesting day.

I luv Scott but he don't luv me so ill kill myself who'll miss me?

My brother is a total nerd he is singing!

awesome day. I got moved up in band!

12/17/87 (even at 12 I had a foul mouth!)
For my birthday I got a hot look doll, 2 country bears, Whos that girl tape, I cant really say what i feel because my brother reads everything of mine. I had a dream about DB euuuuuw! I am so embaressed. I put mascara on wed after school and my mom goes your too pretty to hide your face and i was like whos hiding? my brother is putting down madonna. Well i say fuck him. I figure some day ill write a book about my life. Maybe ill be able to write more personal stuff when i find a place 2 hide my diary. I heart Corey Haim ha ha derek (my brother). Well anwer this, who doesnt? answer, no one, he is a total babe! well, gotta go!

Hi. well life is so dumb! well maybe! steph and I got to go skating and i dont know some boy but he was cute all i did was watch him do the limbo. stupid me did not talk to him. well gotta go get a movie.

Dear diary, you dont know how i feel. I heart mh. i mean love. All i talk about is him and when i do i get tingly and feel like melting. prob is he is in 4th grade, 10 and i am in 6th grade, 12. i hope he likes me so we can go w/each other. well gotta go.

today mh kissed me 3 x cool! he is really sweet! i heart mh.
well i smoke. not all the time im not addicted, fact i havnt smoked for a week.

i love jason. my life is over man. i hope he calls me tom. bye.

I heart MR. he is a sweet heart. MH and i have been 2gether 4 160 days but he hasnt called I might break up and try to go with MR but who knows.

I never heart'd anyone more than Jason and he hurt me. Ill give MH til valentines day then il ask MR to go with me. I heart MH.

I just realized I still have a place in my heart for jason.

im going to stop centering you around boys. July 20 Kenny called he nees me for an alternate in color guard. Of course I said yes. 4 the past 5 days ive been practicing from 8am-12noon. At first it was hard but im used to it. I have made lots of new friends but i need $90 for overlay, tee shirt, shoes, and more. Then i need a turtleneck and stuff. I hope someone gets sick so I can march.

ive been out of touch. see cathy was my best friend she liked mh. she decided i wasnt her friend any more and asked mh to go with her. she told me she "loves" him. this reminded me of 'total eclipse of the heart' by bonnie tyler. MH isnt treating me very good. I know id absolutly cry myself to sleep every night for at least a week if we broke up. Today i actually felt my heart break. It was so horrible and i never want to feel it ever again. I never loved anybody more than mh but i guess it happens to everybody. better go!

MH just broke up!! No big deal. Im not even upset. Last night was the haloween dance. it was fun! except i didnt dance w/anybody cus mh had to babysit me. what a dick. but he would ruin the next dance. now im singlw who knows who i will go with now.

MH didnt really break up. his friend was being queer. were together for 65 days so far. we were really close sunday (not that way) i dont know its hard to explain. i guess i feel secure. i carved his name in my ankle. i cant wait til these weird feelings stop. i dont have a friend to talk to cathy was the only friend i HAD. Mom says i shouldnt write in you for everyobody to see but they shouldnt be looking at you.

today i flicked school! eric, kat, mh and me. We were spose to be called off but werent. We hid in the woods and built a fire. It was fun but now i got home and my mom says give me your purse so i did. 2 of her friends are here and i really think she knows. (later) my mm took me to the hospital to see if i have been sexually active and for blood and urine tests for drugs! now she will know that i am not the one taking her pills!

today i bought NKOTB funky funky xmas. mh got me a ring and a unicorn figure for my bday! i got 2 wknds of saterday school for flicking. moms bdya is coming up, 43, she is getting to be an old fogey. better go 4 now.

And that was it for that journal. Somewhat irratic. I was a screwed up kid!

**Funny thing about JF. I met him in a bar in 2000, I was drunk and told him how I had the biggest crush on him in school. We danced, and some friends of mine went to his house for a while after the bar. We kissed. It was like a dream fufilled. Unfortunatly I had just met "Z" and never called JF. I thought it was the most exciting thing ever, to hang out w/him after lusting for him for so long!!!!**

Today's Question:

Ever read your childhood journals?

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Yes, There IS A Santa Clause!...

Santa came early! I went to work last night, and we're dead! We could go home if we wanted. WELL GUESS WHO WANTED!! I could've floated on air out the door! Having from 5:30 to be home is really weird. I had so much time, that I dunno how I ever thought I didn't have time? I can't wait to quit my second job. Can wait to have no $ but can't wait to have a life!

So I got to spend some time with CP! He had physical therapy. He has to exercise. That is Santa's second gift to me, because it SUCKS working out alone, and now he has to! I love it! A workout buddy! I'll wanna do it more now!

I asked CP last night if I'm too sexually demanding. He said no. Sometimes I feel like I am. It's in my genes, I'm at that age you know!

Everyone is sad, cus it's my last day at job #1 for *ahem* 13 days!! It's good to be loved! That is 13 days total..9 working days! Whatever way you look at it, IM NOT HERE FOR 13 DAYS! YAHOOOOOIE!

I leave friday for my Momma and Sis's! I can't wait for them to meet CP!

You all know "The Bobs" from Office Space. They evaluate your job, and fire you cus they have to make room for management. ....

Well they came to visit us at work a couple weeks ago. All they did was take a group of people into a room, all day for 4 days, and keep them from doing their jobs. I bet, after the 4 days they are rewarded with being fired, cus the company survived for 4 days without them.

They are also causing a bunch of ruckuss, and disturbing those of us who are working. Laughing. Bethie is in on the whole shabang. I feel bad for the customer service department. But they can keep their happy butts down there. I can only hope that they get rid of some of the 8 or 10 managers they have in the department, to manage around 20 people. Cus you know, the best way to run a business is with management, they are after all, the ones who go to all the meetings. And what would we do without all those damn meetings?

I hear "The Bob's" did a great job at one of our other locations. I bet they did. Is that why, the people at said location...have 1 person emailing me catalog requests now? You might think this is efficient. But wait, there's more! I get an email from 1 girl. Other girl's in the office email or forward HER a catalog request and write "Please send this to Mon for me". So then, the email sits in another person's mailbox til she forwards it to me.

So, instead of taking 1 person to send me a request, directly, it now takes two. Is this cost effective? On top of that, they want me to respond each time I get an email. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. Ever heard of a read receipt? Learn to use it! If "The Bob's" come sit with me, I'm going to tell them that I roughly spend 15 minutes a day responding to getting emails. Got it. Got it. Got it. See how they like THAT!

Today's Question:

When did you look most beautiful or handsome?

At the ripe old age of 23.

Monday, December 05, 2005

It's All About Muzak!...

I found this on This blog. It was a lot of fun! Take it and do it for yourself! Brings back good memories!

Favorite Song from Childhood: Pour Some Sugar On Me - Def Leppard, always reminds me of roller skating!! "Poison" By Alice Cooper. I knew every word

If you could sing like ANY WOMAN, who would it be and why?: Xtina Aquilera has some pipes!

MAN?: Edwin McCain, cus he gives me gooooooosebumps!

Favorite Music Show from the past: Puttin on the hits! I think thats what it was called, where you lip synched to songs. p-p-p-puttin on the hiiiits!

Favorite Musical: Jesus Christ Superstar. I know all the words. I use to steal my moms record to listen to. And watched each Easter! Second fave only cus of Madonna....Evita. But I loved Jesus Christ Superstar from when I was a kid, to now.

Favorite Rolling Stones Song: I see a red door and I want to paint it blaaaack.....(stir of echos...creepy!)

Favorite Blues Song: Well Edwin belt's the blues, in "One Thing Left To Do" I do not know any 'blues' blues.

Favorite Prince Song: "PUSSY CONTROL" hands down! (close second is When Doves Cry)

Favorite Led Zepplin Song: who? lol, dont know any off hand! I don't think I did Zepplin!

Favorite Disco Jam: "I will Survive" Gloria Gainer?

Current rap Song that makes you dance every time: "Disco Inferno" 50 Cent! or "My Humps" Black Eyed Peas.

Biggest Guilty Pleasure CD that you could find at any garage sale: Styx Greatest hits! Who doesn't like Mr. Roboto?

Ballad that gets to you every time: Think Twice - Celine Dion

CD that most reminds you of High School: MTV Party to go CD's
Back 2 Da Hotel, Rump Shaker, you get the picture!

Favorite Country song: From my country days, "Strawberry Wine" Deanna Carter? (who also sings this classic song that totally reminded me of my ex husband!)

Favorite Classic Rock Song: Um, err, classic rock? "smokin in the boyz room" Motley Crue. According to bowling for soup, Motley Crue IS classic rock now!

Favorite Wedding Jam: I despise the gay shit they play at weddings. So I pick the chicken dance, cus at least you can laugh at people when they do it!

1st Dance at your wedding, or what you want it to be: the first time...it was "Because you loved me" by Celine Dion (sang by my then-friend) But I'd like it to be THIS TIME "I'll Be" By Edwin McCain. I'm out-voted by CP on this one, but since it's my blog, it doesn't matter what he says, right?

Favorite Michael Jackson Song: Oh I loved Smooth Criminal! Annie are you ok? Are you ok Annie?

Song you most recently downloaded and why: I can't download shit, but if I could, I'd want to download hard knock life by Jay Z cus I got the ringer on my celly, and someone sold my CD (wonder who?) Or that song CP can't find for me, 'Unsent' by Alanis! LOVES IT!

Biggest Break-Up Song: "Love Hurts" By Nazereth! God, I recorded this song, over, and over and over on an entire side of a tape so I could cry un-interrupted, without having to press rewind! DF that bastard broke my heart into a billion peices, a billion times. Then...I MARRIED HIM!

High School Graduation Song: "End of the Road" Boyz II Men (I know you guys will correct me if I'm wrong, but I know it WAS Boyz II Men!)

CD from Highschool that you still listen to and jam out to: Madonna - Like a Prayer.

Favorite Holiday/Christmas Song: "Little St. Nick"....THE MUPPETS! (run run reindeer!!!!) Or O Holy Night. (If someone GOOD sings it!)

Favorite Beatles Song: The Beatles who? Did they sing "Imagine?" Cus I like that one!

Favorite Mindless Jam: "Yummy Down On This" by Bloodhound Gang, cus I just heard it in the car. It's all about suckin' tha dick mkay? LOL!

Favorite Song to have Sex to: Only time I remember music while having sex, was with my friend's boyfriend's brother (gee I wonder who that is?) and it was "Big Poppa" By Biggie Smalls. Thus, every time the song is on I think of that fucknut! But having sex w/diff people to the same song is the shit skank whores do. That, I am not.

Favorite Janet Jackson Song: "What have you done for me latley?" ohhhhhhh yea

Song that you love that you would have jammed out to at Woodstock: This is hard! I don't even know who was at woodstock! Was my momma even alive then?

Favorite Billy Joel Song: "Only The Good Die Young" followed by "Always a Woman"

Favorite U2 Song: "Beautiful Day"

Most Bizarre Make-out Song: The only make out music I remember from my day, was Jodeci, and KCi and Jo Jo. And, it's not bizarre at all.

Favorite Hair band Song: "Talk Dirty To Me" Poison.

**Favorite Madonna Song: how hard is this?? FREAKING HARD! "Rain" from the 90's - "Crazy for You" from the 80's and "I deserve it" from the millenium!( It was easier to favorite from a decade!)

Favorite Aerosmith Song: "Cryin"

Most embarrassing song on your ipod: I don't have an ipod =( I'm always last with technology. Ask me next century, I might have one then.

Favorite Tom Petty Song: "Last Dance with Mary Jane" of course!

Favorite 80's Ballad: LOVE BITES! Def Lepard! When you make love.....do you look in the mirror... ugh, classic! Takes me back! Waaaaaaay back!

First Album: Who knows, I got hand me downs of everything. So If i say 'Puff the Magic Dragon" someone could just say it was theirs and not mine. So, I'll go with Madonna, Madonna. It's the first one I bought myself.

If my mom knew I know every word to BLANK, she would disown me: Puh-leez like my mom would ever disown me cus I heard some filfthy words. That's what she gets from not letting me see Purple Rain!! Shelter a kid and they wind up like me! Probably "Lil Bit" 50 cent might make her say my name like I shouldnt listen to it....(clothes off, face down, ass up, c'mon...)

Favorite Children's Song: Great Green Globs of greasy grimey gopher guts, mutilated monkey meat, little birdies dirty feet, french fried eyeballs rolling down the dirty street and I forgot my spooooon.....

I can't get out of my head right now: "If you were mine" Marcus Hernandez

Favorite Local College Band: Local, not college, "Suspect" Check em out!

Last song I listened to: "Hung Up" Madonna, cuz it jamzz!

Favorite Bitch Song: "Bitch"! Meredith Brooks! Or, "Criminal", Fiona Apple...

As a kid, I was most likely shaking me ass to: Bell Biv Devoe!

Favorite "Dark Song": "Mudshovel" by Staind. That was my life. And, it totally Rocksssssssss!

1st chaperoned concert: Garth Brooks, I didn't ask to go my mom MADE me!

1st unchaperoned concert: Either Meatloaf or Travis Tritt (Katie prob remembers both were w/her)

Most Fun Concert Ever: Rolling Rock Town Fair 2.0 baking in the sun and all! (me and Bethie used TWDSO for a shade tree, we totally did! ha ha ha)

Wish I had written BLANK because: O.P.P. - Naughty By Nature, cus it sparked a revolution, and I'm all about revolutions!

I will always buy tickets to see BLANK in concert: EDWIN MCCAIN! DUHHHHHHH! (this would be madonna if they werent 150 per ticket!)

I would sleep with BLANK, just to hear their smooth, sexy singing voice: Ummmm, Edwin? Cus, um, he's EDWIN, and he wouldn't need to speak a word and I'd be the one singing!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last Concert I went to: 50 cent!

Biggest inspirational song: "Free Fallin" Tom Petty(i think) (cus of jerry mcguire, I always scream it like he does...) or "here I go again" Whitesnake.

Sexiest Song: Well it makes me think about sex..."Feenin'" by Jodeci

My parents used to love BLANK, and now I love them too: uhhhh huh-huh.

Just because: "Girls" Beastie Boys (bubba knows why!)

**While looking for Madonna lyrics online, a bunch of fucknuts have "Sanctuary" from 'Bedtime Stories' listed as lyrics to "Rain". Get with the program assholes, cus 'rain' is in the song doesn't make it the great song which IS rain! This has been brought to you by someone who spends too much time on the internet, and knows too much about Madonna.

Sleigh Rides and Skanky Meat....

I bring you my stats for the Holiday season:

Stocking Status Report: Nothing
Desk Gift Report: Nothing
Party Invites: 1 (company luncheon)
So Yesterday I went to a craft show with Kat and her mom. We had a blast as usual. I always laugh my ass off with Kat, and it's refreshing!

Kats Gma gave me some of those stretch gloves, that she crocheted some kind of lace on the bottom of. They are really funny. She also made a scarf and gave me one, I said I'll wear it! And, I will. I'm ever the trend setter!

The topic of the day was 'skanky meat'. We were hungry so we bought these little baggies of cheese, and they have some kind of chopped up meat, trail bologna or something in there too. Something round and meat-like, which are 2 things I don't put in my mouth. (and chew up and digest) TWDSO always said I didn't like anything penis shaped. I think it was just his penis, but who's counting?

I told Kat I wasn't eating the skanky meat. I tied the baggie to her purse, and she tied it to her moms. She carried the skanky meat around the whole show. It looked like a stretched out nutsack.

I did well I got some gifts, and myself only 1 thing. Yay me. It only cost me 1.50 too! Kat tried to push me down again and wouldn't let me drink out of the fountain in peace.

I tossed my used toilet paper at Kat. Hey, she threw TP at me first. Granted, it wasn't used, but that's not the point! We find the stupidest things to be hilarious, I think only we truely get each other.

After the show we went to West Point Market, its a ritzy place for people with money if you ask me. We went for lunch, and to have tea. I got a $7.50 turkey sandwich. It was turkey, and provolone cheese. For, $7.50. I could've gotten a market fresh sandwich from Arby's for cheaper, and it would've come with a drink and curly fries!

Rich people throw their money away on the stupidest things! You could've had free water with lemon but they had evian water. Gay!

They had sleigh rides going on there. It was romantic. I was jealous! The horses were so pretty, huge, white, and their straps were all covered in jingle bells. I always feel bad for those poor horses lugging around so many people. I couldn't enjoy my tour in Charleston because I was too busy feeling sorry that the horse was carting around 10 people! I think my cart was pulled by asses though, literally. Their still just as cute!

Anyways....we went to Mrs. Ticklemore's Tea Room , and it was really funny they have hats for you to put on for the experience. We tried on different hats and waited to be seated. I wore a pink 'spanky' hat for a while. I couldn't believe I forgot my camera.

It's a tea room. Like, a real english tea experience, they had the cute china, little pots, the works.....and there was a party of screaming kids in this place. Kids do not belong. Only rich people, would have their 5 year olds birthday party at a tea room.
We left after we were seated. You didn't want to see what would've happened had we all stayed there with the kids. Not pretty!

So we walked around and had free samples. I think me and Kat had like 6 cups of mulled cider, it was the fucking bomb! I asked her if it would get us drunk. WTF do I know? Not much! Ha ha! I really don't think we needed it because we were acting fools as it was. I smashed a lot of marzipan. Sometimes I'm destructive!

Yesterday, I couldn't get enough of CP. I can't stand that feeling. I'm so happy I want to cry cus I can't get any happier? I wanna squeeze him til his little head pops off? I dunno how to explain it, but it annoys me. It's nice, but beyond my control, I enjoy controlling things.

My mom and sister are 'making me' open my gifts this wknd. I'm all for opening presents, but I wanna have some gifts ON Christmas!!! CP said we're having Xmas after Xmas. So, Santa isn't coming to my house this year. How depressing is that? (yea, I know lots of people don't have Xmas cus their poor, but that's not us!) I want to wait to open their gifts but my mom said "we decided we paid for the damn things, we want to see you open them"

I was shot down twice by my fiance. You figure it out! Shocking!

Today's Question:

What is the hardest secret youve ever had to keep?

Carrying out a covert op one night in June. And not being able to shout it from the rooftops. Those involved in said covert op, know what I mean. Over and out.

9 days til my birthday. ugh.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Untitled (cus it sounds cool)....

I'm not nameless
I am real
I am a woman
and I feel

I'm right here
Where are you?
Some things I wish you wouldn't do

I am fragile
I can break
Words are not all I can take

To me its everything
to you it's not
Sometimes it makes me want to rot

Will I measure?
Can I match?
Why is it not me you treasure

Sometimes I lie
I don't care
Catch my heart if you dare

I'm not all-that
I'm just me
This is all I know to be

I stayed closed up
Don't show my love
I thought you fit me like a glove

My mind it runs
It makes conclusions
Please tell me that it's just an illusion

You can touch me
I am here
Yes, this is my greatest fear

I'm not perfect
Don't wear a crown
This is one thing that can get me down

Can I fit these expectations?
Do I want to?
Thats what you do

It's only a fantasy
It's all in your mind
What is it that you think you'll find?

I'm right here
You made me feel
Did I already say I'm real?

That's not me
When will you see?
It hurts me cus I'll never be....

I am rare
And I don't care
I always have been good at acting

I won't have fame
I have a name
I thought it was ok to be

Some are nameless
They're not real
If you only knew how it made me feel

**I'm definately no poet, but that's how I felt at the moment

Friday, December 02, 2005

I've Had My Morning Adrenaline...Have You?

Nothing starts your morning, more than thinking you are gonna die! I live on a steep hill, which i slid down this morning and had several seconds to think about how I was going to smash into the trees across the street and I turned out of it. Oh....did I mention I slid Sideways down the hill? Cus...I did! I think it MAY have snowed an inch, so that is totally uncalled for! All that NASCAR my family forces me to watch may have paid off. (but I doubt it..zzzzzz)

I GOT MY FIRST BIRTHDAY GIFT TODAY! Second, if you include the happy birthday flyer I got from my second job. But Marlboro, the marketing geniuses they are, got me my present before my birthday. It kinda blows this year, a bottle opener that looks like a card. It's a gift so I shouldn't complain. I still havn't gotten the portable ashtray I sent away for from them, so, blame Marlboro if I put my butts out in the streets where I can maximize the piss off effect for others!

We're decorating 'the barn' today. I work in a barn. So? It is a lot of fun you get lunch, and everyone pitches in to decorate the trees and hang the garland. Some people make it their jobs to re-do everything you do, but what else are the holidays about?

Holidays. It's Christmas! Kids today don't get to do anything fun. Halloween is evil, and Christmas is a *gasp* religious holiday. And, it offends people, to use the word Christmas. I can understand not celebrating it (sorta) but, I still say Hanakuah (however its spelled Im too lazy to check today) and Kwanza. I don't think those words are unmentionable! I don't think they should or shouldn't let people observe THEM, so leave fucking Christmas alone! Personally I'm pretty sick of everyone being offended over everything. You can't say retarded, short, gay, stupid, under God, CHRISTMAS!!

Who decided that everything had to be so politically correct? Sure, we are all entitled to our opinions, but you shouldn't have the ability to stop others from using words they want to use. I really wish that I had nothing better to do than sit around and decide how to piss people off by not letting them use words and phrases!

I guarantee you, the next thing to go will be Santa. Cus, you really shouldn't lie to your kids like that, and it probably isn't fair for families who can't afford gifts (i sympathize with you) to have to pretend there is a Santa. (if you didn't know that I'm so sorry!!!!!!) Look for that to be next years dilemma. There will be a march, and a protest, cus people really have no lives!


At work? It was Poo. We (the CHRISTMAS committee) wanted to have a contest to count the snowman poop in a jar. Which, is mini marshmallows, we all know that. HR said, we might offend people using "Poo". I'm serious about this! We were told, that the word "Poo" (not even POOP) was offensive to some people. One girl asked who would be offended, and he decided he didn't want a part of the use of the word "Poo". It has to be the most retarded thing I have ever heard, so they went to the president to ask if we could say "Poo" and "Poo" it is!!!!!!

Now, the president was logical. HR was too wrapped up in offending people, who would you rather be? A person who actually thinks, or one who freaks out if you say poo?

I'll post pics of some of the decorations, it really is pretty when it's done. Our theme this year is 'Miracle on Third Street' (cus, we work on third street duh!) We have street signs at the hallways and intersections. I live on Eggnog avenue. I dunno what they are insinuating here...I don't drink eggnog! But they could have parked me on "Holiday Punch Drive". I loves the punch!

We're gonna have Miracle on 34th St playing all day downstairs. And contests, and prizes. It's great fun. Til someone goes and fucks it up for the rest of us and we won't be able to celebrate anymore. We have a Christmas dinner here too, with a choir. It's really a 'family' atmosphere.

We already got a vegeterian they hired who tries to make us all not eat the turkey cus she doesn't. We're not allowed to offend or exclude her, but she can do that to us, and thats....OK!

I feel bright and chipper aside from being dead tired and my entire body hurting from working out....and then...... working out!!! Sex with a divorced man was awesome! I just knew it would be!

I'm seriously tired of eating plain chicken. I want to vomit thinking about it. Turkey was ok, but I ran out. Yesterday I had only chicken. You need a variety! I need to eat something with flavor!
I'm thinking I might have pizza today. Sue me. I deserve an award for doing how well I did this week as it is, since I was on my period, and usually cannot control myself!

Today's Question:

What do you think about all this political correctness around Christmas? Is it 'holidays' or is it 'Christmas'? Should people just shut it?