"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Thursday, July 21, 2005

It's like rain.......On Your Wedding Day...

They say that it is good luck when it rains on your wedding day. Don't buy that shit. It rained the morning of my wedding. And we all see how well that went!!! It's dreary. I think it rained cus my car was wet. Can't park in the garage since my ceiling could give at any moment and hurt Marissa......(who is my car).

I dunno what is going on in my head lately. I am just sorta down this morning. I just think too much. I was doing pretty good not thinking about things, but life happens. I can't stop myself from thinking or having feelings that I have. I am tired of not feeling my feelings, so I guess this is just what it is like? No wonder I stuffed them for so long! No wonder people become alchoholics and drug addicts! It seems like such an easy out. Easy, with a price of course. But nice to not feel things.

We are playing the mega millions. I really hope we win. I can't think of anything that would make me more happy right now. Well, besides if maybe God appeared to me and told me what I am doing here, and what I am suppose to be doing! Mom always says 'bloom where you are planted'. I try to live that way.

I think I'm blooming, I'm definatly planted.....Maybe I would rather be a weed, that grows fast and out of control, and takes over the entire bed for myself? This taking time to bloom crap is for the birds!!!!!! I feel like my poor plants that are neglected, and wilt. I water them and they perk right up. I think I need more water. Whatever that may be, I need some! Or maybe I am something suceptible to fungus and disease? I need to be sprayed with a fungucide, to stop the mutation! I work in an office with a technical (meaning plants in my industry)support person. Can you tell?

I don't have much more to say today. I don't feel smart, or witty, or creative. I don't mean it in a bad way, but men do change your life. You get to trucking along thinking things are hunky dory, then you have to consider another person and their feelings. It is hard. This is why I have pets. Their opinions don't matter, because they love me no matter what. They don't have to earn their keep, or do any housework. They don't talk back like children, and they require much less patience. I get mad about things and will yell at my poor dog...she doesn't hold it against me either, not in the littlest way. Why can't we all be more like animals? Myself included!

This morning my bunny boy Boo's came out of his cage when I got him up, and he let me pet him when I gave him his raisens. And he kind of did his little circle dance, that I havn't seen him do in a long time. I just feel awful for him. I had been making him come out, by trapping him in his cage. He didn't like it, he thumped at me. But he is lonley. I cuddled him and kissed him and pet him like Bitsy use to do. So he is making progress. He still hasn't come out of his room on his own, but he may soon with time. He hasn't Binkied in forever, I miss his cute little bunny runs and jumps. Those two together made me laugh so much.

Well I have successfully depressed myself further by discussing my sad bunny missing his little wifeypoo!


Rachel said...

Poor bunny poo. Maybe you should look into finding a new bondmate for him. There are so many great bunnies out there for him. Just a thought...

Mon said...

I am going to get him a buddy when I have a little time to bond them. He needs one he is lonley! Its just hard finding time to spend with the bonding, it is such a process.