"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

The Great Outdoors.....

Suprisingly, I am happy to get back to work. You couldn't tell though. (Bob snuck up on me)
My mom said my eyes are sparkeling in this picture. I'm happy, shocked, but happy lol!

I am a sick gal I suppose! I like my day in, day out, hum drum, workaholics lifestyle! It allows me to forget that I don't really know what I'm doing with my private life! And, allows me to keep enough alchohol in me on the wknds, that I don't much care! LOL! I really, am not a drunk. But I like my drink!

It's more like....

Camping, was an adventure. From now on, Bubba's guy will be known as SS for summer squash. LoL! I can't think of something better right now. Forgive me. I worked until about 3, in between working my butt off I went to the store to buy us some food and stuff for camping. WG met me here and we went to pack up my car, and get my stuff. We went with Bubba, we all piled in the car. I took Little Bill too. She has been feeling really poopy with her ear infection!

We had to hike it to our spot, it was just in the middle of the woods at SS's moms house. It was really nice, and peaceful! On the way back we had to carry a ton of crap. Bubba, was trying to set a new world record on how much crap she could carry, I can remember, sandals, yahtzee, a pair of pants, a jacket, a top, about 5 plastic grocery bags full of crap, a cd case, her overnight bag....
This was just back woods, we werent on any trail, or safe place to be. Sticks and logs all over.
You guessed it...she biffed it. I couldn't stop laughing my butt off, because to me, it was all slow motion and I saw it all happen, each thing tossed into the air. She literally fell on her face.
After laughing, and collecting ourselves, she said 'I'm ok, that was fun'.

We decided to be helpful, and to get all the crap out of the car, and over these little bridges and dump it. So the guys could carry it to the camp spot. That's a little thing we like to call, men's work. Carrying heavy things. We thought it was pretty slick!

When we got to set things up, I couldn't seem to find my tent poles....Then, I couldn't remember even seeing my tent poles when I moved out of that fuckers house. (TWDSO: tune in later to find out why he is a fucker) Turns out, I have no tent poles. And, I have no stakes! LOL!
But, what I DO have, is the tent. I could've left w/o the tent ya know! WG was determined to make the tent work. It turned out to be the ghetto tent. I lovingly coined it by that name.
It was a 2 man dome tent. But resembeled a castle. (Bubba kept forgetting to take a picture. I got one on a camera but wont have those photos for a long while) It was held up with one pole in the center, made out of a stick. The top was strung together with rope, and fastened onto the pole. It was then tied, to 2 trees on either side of the tent. It made the inside pretty small, as it was taller in the middle, sorta like a teepee...

In the interest of comedy, I drew a picture in paintbrush. We had to crawl inside like an igloo! At night, it was cold, and we couldn't sleep close cus of the pole. The pole was in the way of a lot of things, some we won't mention here! But we still had fun! Wink wink!

We ate soon after we got there. We didnt have a knife. And we didnt have plates. (bubba forgot the plates) so we made plates out of foil. Mine was a nice square plate i made it nice, and bubba made one that looks like a vagina. It was pretty! lol lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I kept making people eat the potato salad, and Bubba said where will I put it? I said, "just put it on your vagina" lol!
We were drinking, but not drunk yet! We are always dorks.

***I forgot to add this earlier, that we had turkey and stuffing on our camping trip! Only us! lol!
Bubba had a turkey forever, we planned to have sunday dinners and it never happened. So she cooked it up and stuffed it, and we heated it on the fire! ahhhhhhhh haaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
We had baked potatos, potato salad, cheese, turkey, and stuffing. Man, am I hungry!
We had enough junk food too! I even drank perfectly, to have 7 beers at night, and 5 in the morning. That might sound like a lot, but its normal for me! lol! Bud Select is only like, 4% alchohol. Get off my case!! That's what campings all about!

Bubba made us walk for like, 5 miles to take a piss, cus "They might see us!" I'd stop and say..."here?"
I said, who wants to watch us take a piss? Nevertheless. We found ourselves miles away, squatting in the woods. In a quite moment, this was what you would see. We were facing each other, Bubba pissed for about 3 minutes. I said, this is a kodak moment!!

After a rough night, sleeping on something that could've made concrete feel soft, my entire body was sore. I couldnt move one of my legs! It was so cold my dog was shivering! I saw that we slept w/an axe next to the tent, which is nice! I wouldn't sleep unless WG stayed up, hopefully he did, cus we survived! But I was convinced we'd be axed to bits! They kept saying scarey stuff! And me and Bubba heard voices when we were squatting in the woods.

Bubba developed a Love Bump. I came up with the cute name. Of course, she would never let you take a picture of said love bump, so I drew another picture. I think, I am missing my calling, and I should be an artist! It really didn't look bad, until I put on my glasses, then I couldnt stop laughing. And I'd say, "Bubba, stop fingering your love bump".
She got it from kissing SS's Scruffy face! Let this be a lesson to men, that you should consider that our faces aren't made of sandpaper, and we are sensetive!

We learned what the term 'rim job' is. LOL! The boys thought it was freaking hilarious that we didn't know. We guessed. Bubba and I put our heads together. She said, lets think about rims on a car....uhhh, they're round. CHECK! Ummm, what do they do? GO IN CIRCLES! SPINNERS? Penis? NO! it took a while but we decided it was similar to tossing a salad! lol! We were going to ask strangers back in civilization!

Neither guy has seen Friday. How can you be alive in the year 2005, and not have seen Friday? At least once? I have no clue! They miss out on such phrases as:
Whatchu gonna do build a cluubhouse? How you gonna get fired, on your day off? You aint never got 2 things that go together...cereal, no milk....kool aid, no sugar.....
Don't noboby go in there for about 35-45 minutes.
Whatchu got on my drink?
Weed is from the earth. God put it here, for you, and for me!
And the ever famous....You got knocked the FUCK out!
big Booty hoeeeeees!
Get with it! LOL!

WG had a fatality too. I think SS and I deserve an award for not falling down! His "chair" gave out. mmm hmm. lol! It may be mean, but nothing is funnier than someone falling! I guess, as long as no one gets hurt right?

So, Sunday, we lalligagged (i have no idea how to spell that) around and didn't get home til like 7 or something. I had a party go to to at Milk's house. (She's a friend)
She had called me at 5 to tell me that TWDSO was attending their party. You might remember, he was specifically uninvited so that I could attend! Pretty much, he had to ruin my fun.
But the BEST BEST thing ever happened!
It seems, that TWDSO got EGGED last weekend!!!!!! CLASSIC!!!! All I know, is Milk said that her husband, cookies, told her. TWDSO said it was really bad on the house! HA HA HA!
Now, I wonder who else he pissed off? The kicker was, she said he thought it was ME! I think, no one likes him at work, and maybe he should check himself before blaming me!
I'M OVER IT! You lost out on me! And I wouldn't waste my $ on egging you. But I wish I could've seen your face!

So, in a way, karma got TWDSO. And, I might not have gotten to go to a party cus he went, but he got egged. Nothing matters ha ha ha! Milk called me later, at 10:30 cus TWDSO left.
He could never kickit like me, he is lame, and boring, and a loser. So they left early. Apparently he brought his new girlfriend, and hung out with her and his friend all night. Gay! He only went to try to rub it in my face that he is dating a monkey girl. I already knew that. And, I wasn't sure that species inter-mated that way....mammals and fish? Is a fish a mammal? Who knows.
I hope they have many, many monstrosities some call children!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't even WANT that right now. I am enjoying being single! I have money, I have a life, I have great friends, and TWDSO got egged! lol! I'll never stop laughing over it!

Monday, I had some me time. It is hard to get use to being around someone all the time. Especially when it isn't what you are ready for. Seeing someone, or whatever, thats ok. I am not up for all this togetherness though. We talked about it last night. Hopefully things will be better. It was just really fast to spend an entire wknd together!!!!!!!

I havnt poo'd in days. I am in a lot of pain! I know, you cared!

Today's Question:

When in your life have you felt the lonliest?

This is a tough one. But I would pick the 3 years I was with Z. He insisted I be 'around' all the time. But, I was always 'alone'. He only wanted me there so he could keep an eye on me. He would hang with his friends, but I'd have to be home too. He was a psychopath. LOL! But, I wasn't able to go to Bubba's without being called 10 times, and harassed. It started out being cute, ohhhh he loves me!!! But it turned ugly. Posession, is not 9/10'ths of the law, and I learned if nothing else, that NOBODY owns me!


Bubba said...

I would just like to say my love bump is healing and poor ss cant shave everyday. I would also like to include a little tidmit that you didnt include in our fun camping trip. you taking a dump in the woods and GRUNTING and ss having to tell you to keep it down! ahhhhhhh ha

Mon said...

no one told me to keep it down while i dropped a load! lol!

Anonymous said...

Your illustrations had me rolling. Especially TWDSO!! ha ha. I'm gonna print that out and put it in the lid of my toilet!


Mon said...

Thank you Kat, the drawings were a big hit with people today, I think I might keep them on lol. You know, to protect the innocent and whatnot!