"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

What it Feels Like For a Girl....

Hurt thats not suppose to show
And tears that fall when no one knows..
Do you know, what it feels like for a girl?

Gather 'round kiddies and learn 2 new words with me:

Main Entry: 1whore Pronunciation: 'hOr, 'hor, 'hur

whore, hOrr adulterer, Latin carus dear --1. a woman who engages in sexual acts for money : PROSTITUTE; also : a promiscuous or immoral woman2 : a male who engages in sexual acts for money3 : a venal or unscrupulous person

Main Entry: adul·tery Pronunciation: &-'d&l-t(&-):
voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband; also : an act of adultery

Seems that in today's society, there is no respect for a thing called boundries. Or love. I am really sad to live in a world like this. Girls are mostly skanks, who have no respect for themselves, or each other. There was a time when you could have this conversation with a friend:

You: "Omg, that guy is so cute, he is funny, and smart, and I'd like to go out with him"
Your Friend: "Yea, but he's married"
You: "Damn, too bad...."

Not these days.

The "Damn, too bad...." is now replaced with "so???....."

Marriage is a sacred thing for most people. I've been married. I've been in a really shitty marriage, where I was abused, and cheated on. It destroyed my self esteem...but you know what? I was married. I respected the sanctity of it. I didn't feel the need to go out and screw someone else's life up because mine sucked. I've made mistakes. I have been a cheater. When I was being cheated on, when I was no longer married. 2 wrongs do not make a right, sure, but it seems more justified.

I couldn't say....go out and cheat on someone who I knew loved me, and wouldn't suspect me of cheating on them. I will just say that its happening to someone that is a really good friend of mine, and it makes me sick!!!

Enough of my time wasted on the BS of adultery!!! (which is a freaking sin and you will burn in hell for it!)

Karma is a big, fat, mean sonofobitch, and you cannot hide from it!!!! I have faith that it'll bite that mofo in the ass in time. Especially since he thinks he has done nothing wrong. HA!

We had an impromptu girls night after Job 2, Bubba and Tayray came over. We had some laughs. While I love my man and being w/him always, theres really nothing like hanging with the girls, being stupid, and laughing til you cry. Or, was that just me? I made WG's lunch while Bubba was there. She laughed at me.

Bubba: (laughing) "look at you!"
Me: "I know, can you believe this? "
Bubba: "No! "
Me: "Make sure you tell WG cus I don't think he gets how big a deal this is! I think this is the third time I've done it!"
Bubba: "That's not enough mustard"
Me: "I got more on there, under the meat! "
Bubba: "Oh"

Love makes you do crazy things. I guess. This is all new to me! Guess what else? When me and WG get married, I will be a stepmom!!!!!! I did think about it before. It's not so bad cus she is almost a teenager. But he brought it up last night. I aspire to be a nice stepmom unlike mine was. (a.k.a "stepmonster") I could have a kid her age, if I started right after I graduated.

His family seems to be worried that I am a freaking party animal! It kinda worries me that they think I'm keeping him away from them. He said he told them we don't have time. We both work 2 jobs. I don't even see my own family! Or my friends! Unless, that is, you wanna come over at 10pm and kickit with me, I probably wont see you!

So no one is doing the weight thing at work anymore. I lost 2lbs on my own. I have 17 more to go by Dec. 14 to meet my goal. I can do it!! It'll make me feel better about being 30.

LOST IS ON TONIGHT!!!! So is the Ghost hunters from Mansfield!

I think I am going home, and going to bed. I have to get my freaking ass back to the gym starting Saturday. I pay for it out of my paycheck but do you think I've gone in 4 months?? Granted, They close at 9, but I can still go on the wknds! I am so going on Sat. I also have a vet appt, and a work meeting for my second job.

My hair is such a mess. I can't get my wig split until the 22nd. And we are going on our Sweetest Day cruise this wknd in Cleveland. With my grown out roots, and hair that wont fix.
I will be so happy when my freaking washer/dryer is paid off. I'm tired of worrying about it.

They changed my job at job 2. The job I work on was cut down to 15 keystrokes per document. Sooooo, I use to make on average 10-15 bucks on a batch in an hour. Now....It takes me about 15 min to do the same batch. And, I only make 5 bucks. That is what I like to call, getting the big screw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Working 2 jobs may not be worth it if this keeps up! I went from making 50/60 a night to 20/30!

Today's Question:

What room of your home do you spend the most time in?

My bedroom. I sleep for about 6 hours a night. That is the longest that I am even home. Lets not get me started on how I devote 14 hrs to work, and I am only physically home for 9 hours, 6 of which is sleeping. Now....I'm depressed!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am a strong believer in Karma and it will catch up to him and bite him in the ass. May take a few months to a few years, but one day he will look back and realize he is going to be lonely forever because he ruined "what could of been".
I spend the most time in my living room.