"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Thursday, March 23, 2006

In Just 7 Days, I Can Make You a Man...

Saturday, Kat suggested we go see The Rocky Horror Picture Show if we missed our movie time. It playes every weekend 1 town over from my house, and they have live actors along with it. It's not such a big thing anymore, but it is fun!

So Sunday, I woke up about 10, and spent hours on freaking blog explosion, cus it sucked me in. CP went to church. He's a good boy, I'm not into that at this point in my life, so I stayed home. If I'm going to hell because of it, I'm sure I'll be in great company!!

When he got home we were going to talk, cus I told him I didn't want to be 'the man' in the relationship, and I feel like I am right now. So, he wanted to know what I defined as a man. Glad you asked! It goes as follows:

1) Men should earn the money
2) Men should handle the finances
3) Men should carry, and lift heavy things.
4) Men should be supportive emotionally.
5) Men should protect you.
6) Men should fix things when they break (or at least try and if you can't handle- call the repairman)
7) Men should have the sex drive and initiate sex more often than a woman.
8) Men should kill all bugs, and other things that try to attack you
9) Men should do all things pertaining to the car!

He said "I don't think any 1 man can make you happy" ummm, hello, I am a woman, does that not go without saying? Thanks! I don't think I ask for much. And I tell him all the time I'm hard to please, so him making me happy is a huge accomplishment! Then he told me I didn't mention 1 thing about love. I explained that he didn't ask me what I wanted in a partner, but what I viewed as a man's responsibilies. Right now, I am doing 1-8, plus all the stuff women do. Such as cleaning, and taking care of the (fur) "kids".

This fueled a huge conversation about everything else in our relationship. Which for some reason CP decided all had to be worked out and fixed THAT DAY. I finally snapped, and told him no way can I work on 6 issues at 1 time and retain my sanity. Been crazy and back again, thanks, I don't wanna ride that train. Relationships are a lot of work. But, in my opinion, you get out of them what you put into them.

What makes a man to you?

Still not sure about Chelsea. She is active for a minute then snuggles up in her wooley cat bed. She is really good with taking her medicine! She's still not eating much but hay, and I've seen her pee twice but no poop anywhere. It's not all over her butt either, which is good. The vet said to try to get her more active to get her gut moving. I feel too bad! Plus she misses her husbun Boo's. On the other hand, her eyes do look better. It's only been 2 days though, vet said about 4 to see an improvement.


Celina said...

Oooh, tough one! I agree with you somewhat, but I guess being raised by My Mom, I have a different outlook on what the "woman" contributes... Let me explain a little more: My mom left home & joined the marines when she was 17, had me when she was 20 (single parent), married my step-dad when I was 10, had my sister when i was 11, "took in" my step bro & sis when i was 15. Mom fixed things (around the house & on the cars), carried her own groceries, earned all the money to support us, etc, etc. And, my dad (well, step-dad, technically) is sort of the "lazy" type. Don't get me wrong, he's a Great Guy, but he'd rather pay someone to fix stuff then learn how to do it himself. It also took him a looooonnngg time to finish his degree & get back to full-time work (8 years after he retired from the Navy). So, altogether, I feel like I am capable (and willing) to do any/all things that a man would do. But, I also feel like my spouse & I should be EQUAL. Currently, I do not feel that way, though. He works hard & earns more than half of our income, fixes the truck (it's been broken a lot lately), and helps out with "big stuff" around the house (moving furniture, remodeling, etc). But, I work, go to school, "handle finances" (this is a personal thing, I don't think I could EVER Give Up the Checkbook to ANYONE), and do practically EVERYTHING around the house (dinner, housecleaning, pets, laundry, etc, etc). And, when he's working on one of the vehicles, I'm usually out there helping, too. I don't think that's fair! I think he should hold HALF of the household responsibility (I've tried "chore lists" but that never works)! So, I still nag & bug about wanting his help, but it's like I tell my bestfriend: You have to be able to accept who he IS. Maybe he will change for the better, maybe not. But, you can't EXPECT him to change, or base the future of your relationship on what you HOPE he will be/do.
Wow, that was a long comment, but hey, you asked!

Mon said...

It's interesting to see what different people expect 'the man' to do. And all men have different ideas of what they should do also. I'm ok with the way things are, but I have that ideal fairy tale in mind...the man will sweep me off my feet and take away all my worries. Ok, that's a hallucination, but it's nice to dream!