"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Green Grass...

Back to work. I had no sleep. I was up til about 2 with CP, he worked a night job and I waited for him. We're on a roll, don't like to mess with fate you know. He was having some weird dreams last night if you can call it that. He was talking to me about being in a villa with me, only we were oriental, and I was pregnant. Not funny. Especially considering I am 3 days late. (which is somewhat normal for me, so don't freak out!) I asked him all sorts of questions. Then, I was up all night. I got up at 6:40 and got a shower. I never, ever shower in the morning. So, even though all I remember is tossing and turning, and sweating, I got like 4 hrs in bed. I doubt I slept. Tonight is gonna be a rough one!!!

I dunno what I'm going to do with myself when I quit my second job cus I'm lost without work. It consumes me. I was bored out my friggin' mind yesterday at home all alone. I didn't even take down my tree's. Fuckit! Yay work.

I did however, finally see how Forever Eden ended. Don't ask me why they canceled that show because the drama was high, there was backstabbing, cheating and scheming! LOVED IT!

I never mentioned Saturday I went to visit Bubba at work and she took me to show me all the animals in the back at the hospital. Pretty nifty! This, after traveling 1/2 hr to get my rabbit food and hay, and the damn place was closed for INVENTORY! This morning the bun buns had 1/2 their normal pellet amount so they better be opened today!! They are closed Sunday and were closed yesterday!

It's the new year! I can call off job #2 now! I have 3 wks vacation again at job 1! All things are right again in the world of ME! I'm not happy about being back in the saddle of watching my food intake. I wish I never fell off the saddle for 3 wks, its like starting allll over again! If I don't see another sweet thing in my life, it'll be too soon! I wish it weren't such a JOB! But, it'll be worth it. It's my year. I'm 30 now.

The past 2 days I miss being single. Not that I don't love my CP.... but life is just so much easier only worrying about yourself. Mostly, it's the picking up after someone that makes me miss being single. Go to work, the house is clean, come home, the house is clean. Do the dishes, they stay done. Take out the trash, it isn't filled right up. Empty an ash tray, it stays empty. Clean a toilet, it stays clean. Mop the floor, it stays mopped. Close a cupboard, it stays closed. Clean up a swamp in the bathroom, it doesn't happen again. I called CP Pigpen, because you know, like Pigpen, trash and filfth follows him wherever he goes. He leaves a trail of trash wherever he goes. Pop cans, cigarette ashes, dishes, food containers, you name it. I changed that to tornado, because, Pigpen's filfth at least left when Pigpen wasn't around, and a tornado leaves a path of destruction. I Just miss the days of coming home to a clean house, when everything is put away and the way I left it. Those days are long gone!

*sigh* The grass is always greener. Now, just why is that?

Now, I'd rather be happy and in love than have a clean house I suppose, if I were like, forced at gunpoint to choose or something. But you can actually have both. My life is working and cleaning. I have little time for play. Seems men get all the time to play in the world. I wish I didn't care, but I do. I'm old and set in my ways! I do, after all, have an afghan, and old lady slippers.

How much does this song rock?

Shakira - Don't Bother

Today's Question:

What is your take on the grass is greener?


mzariez said...

Sometimes, it actually is. Other times, it isn't. It can be like hindsight. Looking back, you can see bad or how good it really was.

I miss having a house exactly as I want it to be. I live with two tornados I use to call Thing 1 and Thing 2. It sucks being outnumbered.

Clean house or Love???


Celina said...

Greener Grass? I dunno, sometimes I think about "what ifs" in my life...but then I remember how happy I am and how wonderful R CAN be... I, too, hate cleaning up after him! He doesn't see a problem with letting things get "disorderly," but then gets aggravated at me when he can't find something (tools, CDs, remote, etc)! But, all I have to do is have his family over for a few days (Thanksgiving) or visit them for a while (Christmas) to have him re-appreciate the way I keep OUR HOUSE!