"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Don't Squeeze The Charmin...

Toilet paper is an important part of our culture, if you don't think so, try camping with no TP.

I made an observation this trip to my Moms this year. No toilet paper squares on the bathroom counter. See, normally, she uses only 3 squares, and if she accidentally tears off too many squares, she tears the extra squares off, and 'saves them for later'. Cus, you might need it to wipe your mouth, or blot your fingers when you put in your contacts. (so she says)

We used the toilet in a store together, and she was outraged at the amount of toilet paper that I use.

"You only NEED three squares" she said.

"I don't like peeing on my hands" I said.

I have a method.

I wrap the toilet paper around my left hand about 8 times. When I am finished peeing, I unwrap the toilet paper with my right hand, in the opposite direction, sort of like a spool of thread. I use some, unwrap more, use it. I've illustrated this perfectly right here. (my bathroom is pink, cus in real life, its hello kitty, and she loves pink)

This method varies. For instance, if someone has generic toilet paper (like they use in public, and like CP bought for us) you have to double the rotations around the hand. This constitutes about 16 rotations. I'm guessing, this is somewhere around 25 squares. There is less absortion with the thin toilet paper, therefore, more usage is needed.

Furthermore. I use more in public restrooms, or peoples houses. Cus frankly, I didn't pay for it.

My preferred toilet paper of choice, is Cottonelle. It has absorbant ridges. Second, is Charmin. CP doesn't see the difference. But, men don't need to worry about the absorbtion factor, just that it cleans their asses, and lets be honest, they don't always clean their asses. No scented, or colored paper, because I'm sensetive!

I know someone, who takes half used rolls of toilet paper home from work, because "their just going to throw them away". I may have used this tactic before when I was poor. But when you are poor you still have to have some sort of priorities.

Things you should never scrimp on, or buy generic are, toilet paper, cheese, and alchohol.

Today's Question:

How many squares do YOU use?


Tayray said...

Its a good thought, I have never actually sat down and counted how many squares I use. Enough TP to make sure its dry!

hot for jr. said...

You are a nutcase!!! I have to let you know that she's back to putting squares on the counter!! I've never counted how many squares I use-I use how ever much is needed.

Mon said...

I'm the nutcase? How the heck did THAT happen?

bethie said...

i've never counted squares but i wad it up i don't roll it around my hand

Mommamule said...

It is probably a childhood issue with the TP. I remember my dad complaining about my grandpap (who used to come from his little trailer to our toilet cuz he had none) and he was using our toilet paper he and didn't pay for it. So maybe in the afterlife my father can see the little squares of paper I save and forgive my grandfather. Maybe this is why old ladies smell like pee a lot of the time. Those partial roles have come in handy many times kids. Waste not...want not..

Celina said...

I don't count squares either, I just pull off whatever seems necessary, then sort-of roll/wad it. I usually do this at least twice (or more if it's cheap one-ply paper). I like Angel Soft--it's good enough to get me clean & it's less expensive than other brands. Oh, and I bring my own tp if I'm visiting someone who I know uses cheap one-ply (my in-laws).

MzAriez said...

It varies....lol

Cheap toilet paper is as bad as cheap paper plates. BTW, cheap mac and cheese ain't worth it!