"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort










Thursday, December 01, 2005

Stop The Presses, I've Had No TV Time!!!!....

This working out for a God damn hour every night, has got to go! By the time I'm done, had dinner, showered, packed 5 meals for the next day..it's fucking midnight!

I got no CP time! I got no TV time! I got no pet time!!! (I especially can't believe the TV part, but don't tell anyone cus they might get hurt feelings. At least I can snuggle with CP and the pets in bed....TV is too big for the bed....or....is it??)

So, just for the hell of it, let's review the things I have been deprived of, just this week!!! Shall we?

1) CP (not only in the flesh, but in the texting, email, and phone ways too! This includes sex! Screw it sex gets it's own number...)
2) Sex
3) TV
4) My furkids!
5) Carbs! (the baaaaad, ones!)
6) Caffine!
7) Sugar!
8) Salt!
9) My sanity (I'm also on my period!)

Is it any wonder that I am still a living breathing human being? I mean, I live for that little list of 9 things up there! Check it-- normally if you don't have carbs, you can still have sex, or if you can't have sugar, you can still have sex, or, if you can't have TV you can still have sex. Pretty much, I could do without all that stuff for a week if I had sex. It's a nice release. Sue me.

I have had to stop cold turkey on all of it! I'm rather bitchy, depressed, and down in the dumps, but I'm thinner dammit! WTF do we do this to ourselves for???? Being a woman is really freaking hard! We need a revolution!

I PROPOSE A BRA BURNING! (but none of our $40 bras girls!!!! that shit don't grow on trees!)

Pretty soon, Tivo will stop recording my shows cus it'll be all full up! I am recording some CHRISTMAS SPECIALS this week. It might say "sorry not enough space to record Santa Clause Is Coming To Town". And I am sooooo excited, I just love those dumb clanimation things. You can't ever remake those, cus their so stupid... their classic!

Four words I never thought would leave my mouth.

"I forgot to eat"

I use to say, people who forget to eat are fucking retarded! It was on my mind all the time!

I actually did forget to eat on the makeover diet. Call it a miracle.

You have to eat 5 times a day, so when you finish breakfast, it's time to get your snack. Then lunch, then snack. I wasn't even hungry to remember to eat. But, your 'spose to eat anyways.

I'm down 7 lbs as of today. Despite my 2 minor cheats, one of which wasn't my fault at all, the other I blame on CP cus I can and he knows it! So, not too shabby! My goal was 10 lbs and I have 2 days left. I still have 2 wks to lose 10 more before my bday and I will have reached my ultimate goal boys and girls! I will be 30 and overweight.....but not FAT! I rock!

Furthermore, I am certain I could have lost MORE weight if we had some sex. Maybe I should blame mother nature, if I plan on getting any soon....

So last night I finally watched TV! I watched LOST, of course! See my lost post for my theories! lol! And, I watched a bit of Oprah...which was all about mens sick addictions to Porn. That, will forever be a barrier between the sexes.

In just 3 hours...my CP will be divorced. I personally cannot wait to not say, 'my fiances wife' that's just so ghetto!!! I like her and all, shes fun, and nice.... (but she aint me ohhhhk?)

One final note....blackberries are good...when they are sweetened in a pie. Otherwise, they're flippin' sour, and those seeds hurt my teeth! See what happens when you branch out?????

(14 days til the big 3-0)

Today's Question:

What is the best way for you to relieve tension?

Ummmmm. Sex. It cures what ails ya!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

All I have to say to this is never ever no matter how much tension you have, do not ever ever ever throw your cell phone!! Good lesson learned!!

Mon said...

I think Bubba could second this as well! Cept hers was being dropped lol!
Don't kick walls either, I tend to kick holes in walls..