Drunks say the darndest things....

I found a napkin I wrote on last Thursday while CP was pretending he was on Star Search at the bar. Apparently he tried to hide this shit from me. There is a reason I take blog notes!

He tried to get me to marry him in 2 weeks. He said now that he is going to have a better job, can we set a wedding date? We've been putting it off every time it comes up. Because we need better stability first.

Him: This Fall?
Me: I need a year to plan it!

Him: Next June?
Me: Too hot!!!!!

Him: Next September?
Me: I already got married in September, that's bad Karma!

Him: Next August?
Me: AUGUST???

Him: you're just making excuses now. What about the spring?
Me: Too soon!

Him: Let's get married next week.
Me: yea, ok, we need to get a marriage liscense first.

Him: We can get one in a week
Me: Obviously, you're drunk.

The conversation turned to sex as they usually do when alchohol is involved. CP is sooooo not the typical man. He started it out by telling me:
"You know how when you are drunk you tell the truth?"....

Him: "I don't understand why you don't just let me give you an orgasm every night"
Me: "Wont let you?!"

Him: "I mean, don't worry about me, or doing anything for me, just enjoy yourself"
Me: "I do enjoy it"

Him: "I know but you are always concerned with making me happy and I just want you to get off and not worry about me"

(translation: oral sex for me, and nothing for him!)

Me: "Because I enjoy the cock"

Him: "But I'm good with once a week, why don't you let me and not worry about me, and then you'd get it way more often"
Me: "Are you seriously trying to talk me into not pleasuring you, and only let you service me? You're so not the typical man!"

Him: "YES!!"

Of course, now he claims never to have said this, and swears that once a week isn't enough, he just meant he could get by with that. I told him, he told me when he was drunk...it MUST be the truth! He also asked me if he could ask this handicapped woman to have a threesome with us. She sat in her wheelchair by herself all night, she was just a little woman. I said I felt bad for her cus she was there alone, and no one was talking to her. So, that was his solution.

Now, I understand that there are probably millions of women who receive no oral pleasure, who would be in heaven with that conversation. I do love it, don't get me wrong, but I'm a straight woman, so I enjoy having some dick as well, sue me!!! I'm not use to it at all. I've gone from relationships based on sex, to one where the sex is secondary. (to the man. not me!) I'm kinda lost. It's what I'm good at. I'm not good at the emotional crap at all.

Sometimes I think CP is a woman, who had a sex change operation. Like in that awesome movie with the chick from Desperate Housewives 'TransAmerica'...only in reverse. Seriously. But would that make me gay? Of course I'm kidding. A little. About the gay part.