"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Monday, August 21, 2006

Hamster wheel...

I've been working my ass off at the gym now for 3 months. That is 3 months of 5 days a week. Three aerobics classes, and two step aerobics classes. The occasional walk with the dog, and sometimes walking and extra abs before a class. I'm not dieting. I'm eating less, and making better choices. Me and diets don't mix, given my history of violence against my body. So, I'd like to know when I'm suppose to see a change? I put my clothes on and they feel the same. I'd venture to say that my legs are bigger. My jeans fit tighter. I know my butts higher than it was, and I'm gaining some muscle, but what the hell gives?

It's usually about now, that I'd say fuckit, and give up working so hard, because I see no results. I have no idea if I've lost any pounds, because I don't dare step on a scale. That's self sabotage. I am not weighing myself until I can move a size down. I had my thyroid tested last year, it's perfectly fine.

The only thing keeping me motivated is that I feel good. I'm not sore like I was when I worked 2 jobs (a.ka. sat on my ass for 14 hours a day). I have more energy, and am generally happier with life. Being stagnant is really a bitch. And I hate bitches!

I went out with Kat on Friday. We met some guys she works with at the bar. We went to drive on a dirt pile. Yea, I thought it was weird too. But, it made me laugh. It was kinda like being on a roller coaster ride. We went in Jason's SUV. We all went to a pretty cool pool hall after that. Even though us gals don't like to hit balls with sticks. Waaaait a minute....nevermind. We all drove separatly. It reminded me of that scene from Swingers when they all roll up to the party in separate cars. It was so money. Guess you had to see it.

Speaking of movies. I watched one called Cache. It was a French film, because I am so cultured. It didn't have the option on the DVD to speak english so I had to suffer through subtitles. It was a pretty decent movie. Someone is stalking this family. Only, the movie ends and you don't really know who the fuck is stalking the family! It just ends. No explanation. Or there is an explanation and I'm a fucking idiot. Either way- waste of time. Oh, except at the verrrrrry end, the guy (who wasn't hot at all) takes it all off in the dark before bed, and he is naked. So, you get the impression of some cock'n balls. But not a full shot. A full shot might have been worth it.

Went to my work party on Saturday. It was...a work party. CP actually came after he got off of work, and I got him something to do in his 'spare time'. Selling a bunch of shit on e-bay. Hope he makes some mulah. I'm so all about the money. You'd think.

Because I love to entertain the masses. This site is a trip. Don't Date Him Girl. Visit it. Laugh. Post some fun stuff about your asshole ex-boyfriends!


supplymadam said...

I know about getting discouraged when working out. Keep up the good work so in 6 months you don't look back and say "Shoulda,woulda,coulda"

Just Expressing Myself said...

That's typical of French movies- no beginning no end - it's like you walk into someone's life, get really interested and poof suddenly you are out in the hallway and they've slammed the door shut.
I have to forward that link to one of my friends; she has some real war stories to post.
As always a pleasure,
PS I think you're freaking fabulous to be doing all those classes. Wish I could get myself motivated!

Janet said...

I feel exactly the same way about The Firm. I do it in the comforts of my own home. I sweat profusely. I dread working out for so long and I just dont see a major difference.:(

Samsara said...

I know my butts higher than it was, and I'm gaining some muscle, but what the hell gives?

Hello Mon! {{hug}}

Sounds like you're making a decision to love yourself and that sounds super duper! Okay...when I started step aerobics and even obsessively rollerblading 20 miles a day at a different time in my life I didn't have a whole lot of weight to lose. BUT.

But I gained to begin with. I did. The muscles were taking shape and my waist was defining itself. I was looking good girl! I am sure the fat was melting because I saw such a difference and because muscle weighs more than fat per ___whatever [gram] etc...the muscle replacing the fat, looking shapely and so forth....well so I gained.

Muscle also burns fat. Any muscle you're building will eventually begin burning fat more efficiently.

I think [and this isn't a fact] that muscle can be toned and can grow more easily than the fat can disappear so time takes time.

I had a book explain it to me once that when we begin getting toned our fat rises to the surface initially while our toned muscle is getting larger and bigger so it may even look as if we're getting bigger initially.

This is so critical to understanding as I think this is why people stop a good thing - they don't "see" the results "fast enough."

Keep at it. When the magic day is, I don't know. But it WILL happen and when it does you will be so damn happy you stuck with it and you'll be addicted. LoL

Good luck and I am so proud of you!

Love, Samsara

P.S. Come see me. I featured you in a recent article. :)

Celina said...

I sure hope Samsara is right, cuz I COMPLETELY understand the feeling! I've been doing my workouts (abs & walking) for 4 weeks and don't see any difference. But, I also feel more flexible & not as sleepy/mopey all the time. At least that's SOMETHING!

Samsara said...

Celine - Not to give you my unsolicited advice [as I feel differently with Mon when she opens for comments LoL], but disregard if you want to as I say it from a good place!

Abs and walking for 4 weeks is SPECTACULAR and now let me ask you: Are you trying to lose weight? If you're trying to lose weight, what does that is aerobic [meaning oxygen] exercise.

You can certainly be walking aerobically. Are you? Are you walking at such a pace as to elevate your heart? If not, then yes you are burning calories [using energy] but you're not burning fat very efficiently.

If you want to burn fat efficiently I suggest "power walking" or something that can get your heart rate up there - depending on your age it's a certain number and I am sure Google could tell you. :)

Your abs you are toning completely. You're ripping the muscle and it's growing together and that's the "ripped" effect. BUT....we won't see that 6 pack unless the fat that sits atop the muscle has been burned. And we do that....aerobically!

SO, if you want to see your definition I would suggest 40 minutes of aerobic workout [keeping your heart rate in the fat burning range] ideally 3 to 4 times a week. BUT hey, if you're like me...when I start training I take it SLOWLY.

I think walking is great - lower impact than dance aerobics and fresh air... and oh so wonderful. I get a nice CD going on, grab the headphones and it feels great!

You can do this! :)

Mon said...

That's a great way to look at it...because I've been there, looking back thinking....here I am starting over AGAIN!

Now that I know it's typical, I'm not watching them anymore! I felt ripped off! And thank you, once you get 'into' working out its easy to keep up with. (for me)

Do you FEEL different? I'm trying to keep telling myself that I feel good....even if I don't look different!

As usual, an inspiration! Thank you! I'm hopping over to check out your latest!!