"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Doom and Gloom....

You know how my Monday blew a fat one, and I couldn't find my keys? Wanna know where my keys were? Hanging on the key hook. Where they were suppose to be! I parked in the garage so I didn't use my remote to unlock it and it was on a crappy unprogrammed station so while driving, I simply hit my unlock button, and poof, it remembered when driver #2 was last in the car she was listening to Q92. My car is way smart like that! I love her!

I think that someone parked a dreary old rain cloud over my life, and opened up for business. No, it's not raining, at least not raindrops. Most of my friends are depressed. Myself and CP included. Who the hell cheers you up when your friends are in the shits too? It's starting to become clear, that me and CP don't have a future together. We're not having problems, and we both love each other, we just want different things. Neither of us can understand the other's thinking with finances. It's pretty sad.

His way of thinking might be good for me if I were 21, but I'm not. I'm 30 and I have an idea of what I want to do with my life. He told me I want more than most 50 year olds he knows want. I said clearly, we know different people. The man is content to just get by and blow all his money. I've been keeping our money together, but he's unhappy that way. You might think I should have known this. But, he told me it was something he wanted to change about himself. Turns out, he said he wants to, but can't. (I don't buy that 'can't' bullshit, I believe you can do anything if you want to badly enough!) I can't see a future with someone so different than me, and....it kinda sucks, right?

My company got a new web host for our site. I get all our emails from the site but I havn't gotten many at all in the last few months..all spam. I emailed myself from the site and it returned me as spam. Email from my own company is recognized as spam. I think we are in for a world of fun with this new company.

Enough doom and gloom for one day. So, I'm on the hunt for a part time job again. It was nice having 2 months off. I guess. I enjoyed it while it lasted! Back to having no life, no sleep, and owing the government more money than I can afford to pay. I need something with weekend hours. Know what has weekend hours? The army national guard. I can see how so many people get sucked in to it! They lure you in with promises of becoming an executive chef, (which is apparently a highly respectable job) a $20,000 bonus, and monthly checks. I'm thinking shit! I can get in shape and get paid for it?! Get to look at hot sweaty men all day! Serving food can't be that bad if I go to war, right? Not directly on the front lines. And, with that money I could have a nice down payment on a house, and pay off my car!

There are some sick jobs out there. I watched on Dirty Jobs last night, some disgusting jobs. He actually held an artificial vagina for a horse to have sex with, and collect his sperm. $25,000 sperm! No kidding. People actually do this shit. Then, he inseminated a female horse. He also did this with a pig. These poor animals think their getting it on with a metal stand, and an artificial vagina. What.The.Fuck happened to nature? People are fucking disgusting! It made me feel dirty even knowing that shit was going on! Why isn't this considered beastiality? Your getting an animal off, just because it doesn't get YOU off doesn't make it ok. Ugh. It's totally disturbing! If these guys aren't sticking it to the sow or mare you want them to stick it to, there's a reason for it. Don't fuck with nature. I'm scared to think what our world is going to be like in 20 years.


Just Expressing Myself said...

As always I was both entertained and educated after reading your blog.
I'd love to hear that guy talk about his job on career day.
Waving at you from New York,

Janet said...

Are you sure you aren't dating MY boyfriend?:(

Mon said...

no doubt, a strange job!

Sad to think there are 2 people with the same problem!