"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort










Monday, August 28, 2006

I'm a Toys R Us Kid....

Well, the sex toy party on Friday was a lot of fun, as expected. Except, it sparked a long discussion Friday, and then again yesterday with CP about our sex life. Or, lack thereof...which, is always nice I suppose. See, when me and CP met he was all about sex, and I thought, wow, I finally met my match! Someone who wants to try new things, and I can be open with. He wanted to go shopping together for toys, and I was so excited. Then little by little the truth came out. He liked to talk about it. Not actually...do it. Or, you know.... there's all kinds of sex. Not just intercourse. I don't need it every day. I might get a complex, and think it was me if I thought it were in any way possible. There's nothing wrong with liking sex. And by sex I mean freaking intercourse!

When we went to the "toy store", (which was a big step for me!) everything I picked out was turned down, for various reasons. It looked too much like a schlong. It was too big. I get the picture. Some guys are sensetive to those things, and I never pushed for anything that 'offended' him again. My only complaint is, if you aren't willing to give it up to your woman, and by that I mean the cock, then how can you blame her for wanting an alternative? Is it better to cheat on someone than ask for what you want? He told me that it's like him wanting to bring another woman to bed with us. I said no...asking to have another man in bed, is like bringing another woman to bed with us. Big difference.

I called him from the party Friday, because I wanted to buy something, but I already have a few 'somethings' at home that we 'can't use together' because he says they intimidate him, and I didn't want to waste any money. What I wanted looked nothing like a member, and wasn't big at all, but is meant for insertion. The man didn't like the idea, and thus began "the talks". I have never been so open with someone about sex before, it's not easy. I just don't understand why if a girl is telling you what she wants, you wouldn't want to go along with it and give it to her? I'm not asking to strap one on and stick it to him!!

I have never in my sexually active years, had a guy so particular about sex. What he will and won't do, how and where, when and why. I'm an (almost) anything goes kinda girl. I need an (almost) anything goes kinda guy. Sex shouldn't be work to me. It kinda puts a damper on things. If the passion, and chemistry is there, it's a no brainer. I've yet to find this. Pity me.

Then, he told me that it's kind of a turn off that I always want to have sex. Turn off? Want sex? These words came out of a mans mouth, to my ears. I shit you not. Yea. Apparently, he wants to 'work for' sex. I'm too 'easy'. I can hear that at the water cooler. "Hey guys, my fiance is too easy, I wish she'd make me work for the goodies". Huh? I'm thinking all this shit sounds to me like he just doesn't like to get it on with me, but he swears that's not it. I'm thinking, CP is some kind of strange mutant hybrid, who calls himself a man. None of this makes any sense to me, it has never been my experience that a man doesn't like for you to WANT to have sex all the time. It's not me, its HIM!

I dunno what to do about it all. It's kind of depressing. I think I deserve to get what I want, and we should be able to compromise on some solution. I don't think that a year into your relationship, the sex is already dwindling. I've only had 1 relationship where the sex ever dwindled at all, and that's cus I was never attracted to him in the first place. My 7 year relationship with the ex husband wasn't sexually deprived either. Seven years is a long time with the same schlong! Of course, he wasn't faithful, but who's counting, this is about me!

I think, maybe it has to do with his age, he is 7 years older than me. Do 37 year old men have lower sex drives? I mean....WTF? Maybe he IS too old for me? He thinks that it's better to have someone you are compatible with and then WORK ON your sex life. Work on your sex life? Shouldn't that be the easy part? I am the opposite. I'd love a great sex life, because whenever your pissed at each other, theres always the sex. For me, it's what makes you feel intimate. The other stuff is nice too, but I don't like one without the other. Am I the only woman in the world like this?

10 comments:

Bianca Roland said...

I've never been much into phallic shaped toys. I'd rather just have the real thing, or nothing at all. But bondage stuff? Hell yeah.

Just Expressing Myself said...

I bet you and I would have had a ball at that party. Every time I read your blog I think - "she'd be cool to hang out with!"
Take care,
Frances

Useless Man said...

I'll sit down to write this comment, if no one minds...

I think it has something to do with man hitting his sexual peak at 18 and a woman at 30.

I wonder if God is into practical jokes?

Mon said...

bianca:
Hell yea, to each her own!!

JEM:
It was a blast! Lots of laughs! I'm a pretty fun gal if I do say so myself.

Useless man:
I think you are right, it's not fair. Damn apple!

Rachel said...

I have the opposite problem. I never want it, and he always does. So there you go. It's never perfect. Oh, and he always wants to use the toys on me!

Mon said...

Rachel:
That seems to be the norm. Always opposite! WTF!?

supplymadam said...

Being I have been with my husband a long time and our ages/we are one year apart somtimes I feel like siblings instead of lovers. We both love sex but not as often as we used to. I can't do it on demand although I used to be able to anytime, anywhere. Although a few drinks usually will do it for me.
One time I dressed up like a prudish secretary and did a little act for him and had my sexy lingerie on underneath. Took my hair down,my stockings off and turned into a porn star. I haven't done something like that in a looooong time. See now if I did that for Christmas and his birthday he says that would be enough of a gift.

Janet said...

I know you didn't intend to make me laugh with this post but I gotta point out my fave part:

"CP is some kind of strange mutant hybrid, who calls himself a man."

I wish I could give you more advice. My boyfriend is 32 and I'm 29. The age factor might be an issue. For us it's time. We have completely different schedules. Running on different clocks biologically is one issue, but running on different clocks literally, is another.:(

Mon said...

Supplymadam:
Thats hot! I don't have the nerve to do that, but I know CP would love it. But for him....it's a school girl!

Janet:
Seriously, he's not the typical man at all. I'm so use to typical!
We have different schedules now too, which I'm sure is part of my frustration, he's on an opposite shift. A woman's got needs!

Hothousemomma said...

this post just cracks me up. You are to much