"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

I Like a Side of Toast With My Bullshit....

I think at this point, the only thing that would make me stop itching, is to rub my arms with sandpaper, and let them scab over. Since scabs tend to itch, I'd have to pour bleach on top of that, to make it hurt too much to scratch. What the fuck is wrong with me? It's beyond me. It started like, three weeks ago! I got what I thought was poison ivy. I get it each year, this time just on my hands. Then my arms started itching. I thought it was poison ivy the first week. But it never developed those blister thingys. I itched to the point I have scabs on my arms. So I just itch those off! I've tried everything.

The calamine lotion I used expired in 1997!!!! Nice, huh? Maybe that was it?? Add on to that the fact that I don't sleep anymore, and you have the perfect recipe for one crazy chick!!!!! I'm like a ticking time bomb. I pity da fool who finally sets me off! I was up at 1am. 2am. 3am. 3:30 am I finally got up out of bed. It gets to the point where I know I have to sleep so I can't. Everything bothers me. I breathe wrong, and I'm up. My pillows have to be just so. Blankets, perfect. Hair out of the way.

I can't take my trazadone, cus I can't wake up in the morning. I've done 1/4 pill, 1/2 pill, 1 25mg pill, 1 50 mg pill. I still don't sleep. I have no problem sleeping on the weekend. It's performance anxiety. Now I know how men feel. And I think I'd still rather have this, than PMS. I think I have a legitimate case of insomnia. I have to take mini thins to stay awake, coffee, and pop has ceased working. It's a viscious cycle. Drugs to stay awake. Drugs to sleep. More drugs to stay awake. More to stay awake. Now, I can't sleep. Even if I stop taking the Mini thins, and suffer through falling asleep with my eyes open at job #2. As soon as I get home. Poof! Wide awake. I can't relax. I have too much to do. I need a vacation from my problems! Wouldn't that be nice??

11 more days of working my second job. Just 11. That also means 12 days til I'm on vacation. Sweet vacation. With no work. It's been 17 months since I have had a vacation from both jobs. I have always had to go to work at night! I get 3 weeks vacation, and they were all wasted last year. I kinda asked my supervisor if I could stay. I'm really super worried about the money thing. I make half of my job #1 salary at job #2. It's a significant drop in my income to quit. Doesn't look good for me on the job front. What's done is done.

Anyone catch the pres-o-dent's speal last night? I did only because it interrupted my talk radio station. I'll say this much, he talked a good talk. That's the first and only time you'll hear that out of me. If he would only stick to what he said. And not have told everyone to flee to America before he gets his bill passed, that would be another thing. But I think we all know the truth is, none of what he said will happen. It's fine n dandy for people to become citizens in my opinion. But I work 2 jobs. I am sleep deprived. I struggle to support myself and my pets. I pay my taxes. And...I STILL OWE $600 IN TAXES!! You bet your ass they are taxing me more, by having filed an extension. And, that's what gets me about the whole illegal alien thing. Taxes. We have to pay out the ass, while some have to pay nothing. Fair is fair. Nevermind the thousands of homeless American citizens we have already, but can't ever seem to help. He just wanted to save face, even if only for 1 night. Is it time for him to be done with his term yet? Gawd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Invasion? Anyone? All the freaking aliens are coming, and the military is making people get attacked??? aaaaaargh


Tayray said...

Im making it with only one job and no roommate, you'll make it! Trust me!
I didnt listen to the presidents speech last night, because he is an idiot. He wants to control the border, but yet bring in millions of immigrants to do american jobs that the american people wont do. How about if he thinks about his own country before another one?

hot for jr. said...

I didn't watch the president. I don't believe anything he says anymore. How long have we had problems with our borders? It's only now he wants to do something? I'm not against people coming into this country legally, but until you become that way - get the hell out!!! We have LEGAL AMERICANS we can't take care of. Pay your taxes, become a citizen, then demand your equal rights and benefits. Until then, shut up!!!

Mom and I have offered you a vacation from your troubles. It won't cost you a penny!

hot for jr. said...

Invasion - First, I heard today it was cancelled, so this is it. That sucks!! The military isn't really the military-it's the people from the island that the sheriff used to send all the criminals or bad people. They've been trained as military so when the storm came, they'd fit in and people would think they were the National Guard and not question being 'rescued'. It's a scary thought because something like that could happen in real life. Round people up and kill them off. It wouldn't be like it hasn't happened before in our history.

momma said...

Here's a concept..GO TO THE FREAKING DR TO SEE WHAT IS ON YOUR HANDS AND ARMS.. STOP CLEANING SO DAMN MUCH AND REST A BIT. You have to take care of yourself Monica..!!!!!!!!!!
We love you.

Dave said...

Could be a dermatitis. If it is, your family doctor will probably refer you to a dermatologist, and it it's like around here, new patients are on a three month waiting list for an appointment.

I had this happen to me and I just finally went to an Urgent Care center. They gave me a shot of steroids and some steroid cream and it got a lot better.

Hope this helps,

Mon said...

Tayray: I know I'll make it. But I'm a chronic worrier where money is concerned. It comes from being destitute. One day you will be me. Be afraid.......

JR: Canceled? CANCELED? WTF ever. If ABC wouldn't rerun and stop showing new episodes of ALL THEIR SHOWS that would be great! Lost too!

Momma: I owe the Dr. $50. I have a deductible you know. It'll cost me another $50. Screw that mess!!

Dave: Yes, unless you have skin cancer you aren't seeing a dermatologist right away.