"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Happy Blog-versary to Me!...

myspace, glitter graphics

It's been a whole year since I started my little bloggiepoo! This is my 460th post. Which to you fellow math genius's...means I am an avid blogger. Cus, I friggin rock! What class! What dedication! What sitting on the edge of your seat reading? Ok, so the last one was a stretch, but at least I've stuck with it! Nothing sucks more than visiting a favorite blog and it's gone. Or the person you read just decides to quit!! You really do get attached to your blog friends! I also think TV is real life, so sue me!

A year ago the topic at hand was dating. How you meet people these days. I was trying out the online dating thing. I never got anything but guys who wanted to jerk it while talking to me. Have a nice conversation, they butter you up....then you get...'wanna cyber?' I'm proud to say that I'm a cyber virgin, and I plan to stay that way.

I had also had a break up last March so that was still what I was talking about then. TWDSO. The 4 year relationship that went absolutely nowhere. You know you go through that shit, and think you have your life back on track, and along comes another man to change it up for you! I met CP in June, and here we are. A year later, I'm engaged. We're still together, living separately. Though, lately, we've been discussing moving back in together. I know everyone has issues, but I clearly have enough to go around. I don't need anyone else's. Right?

I am having a terrible time opening up and allowing myself to be loved. Being shit on does that to you. I took a big risk with CP. And, he lied to me. I really can't get past it, and I don't know how. I'm also a control freak. If I can't control it, I don't want to be a part of it. I'm also a workaholic. I dunno what I'll do without 2 jobs to distract me from my own personal demons! I'm still reading a lot about buddhism. I'm still liking this more than any other religion thus far. It makes the most sense to me, and anything that will help me to be more spiritual is a good thing, so I'll take it. Only having 1 job will allow so much more time for me to deal with the reality that is my life. I can't blame everything on work. I'll also have more time to be with CP. Let's see if I can drive him even more crazy? My M.O. is to drive guys away, you know, before they can hurt me. So, I still get hurt, only it's my idea, and I can say "I told you so". Then I'm right. Control issues, see?

(Crazy, lost talk to follow....spoilers)

Tonight, LOST is on!!!! Much will be revealed at the end of the season, in Entertainment Weekly, they said we will find out why the plane crashed. What secret Desmond has. And why they have to push the button. They also dispelled a lot of theories w/the producers. It's NOT a dream, and it's NOT purgatory. There were others that they didn't confirm nor deny. I still think it's a government experiment. They said we still won't find out why Walt was taken by the others. But a new threat to the losties will be revealed. They said that thy realized they lost a lot of viewers with Michelle Rodriguez cast on the show. They killed poor Libby cus the death of Michelle wouldn't have an impact on us...cus no one liked her. Libby will be back in Desmond's flashbacks. They also want to maybe put Lost on in 3 chunks a season like a mini series. They can't figure out how to get 22 episodes into 35 weeks. I am only a marketing assistant...but my guess would be, MAKE MORE EPISODES?? Make us all happy! That's all you get. Go get your own magazine!


hot for jr. said...

Let me be the first to say HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

supplymadam said...

Happy Blogaversary! I think that's great how bloggers can always come up with something to write. It's not easy to put thoughts down on paper(for most people). I enjoy coming here because you make it interesting and I enjoy how you "put it out there".

Mon said...

Jr: Thank you...it just seems like yesterday she started to crawl, and now she's up and running. sniff sniff. They grow up so fast!

Supplymadam: I could talk about nothing forever. I can turn a pen into a long winded conversation. So I'm just glad people find it interesting. Being honest about my 'crap' is therapudic. In a journal it's locked away and no one but me and god know what it says. This way, I'm accountable for my crap. I like it.

Dave said...

Happy Anniverary.

And I need to correct you.

Being shit on does NOT make it hard to allow yourself to be loved.

Being shit on makes it hard to love anyone else.

You may want to consider this :)