"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort










Friday, November 11, 2005

Recipe For A Bad Day (chock full of secret ingredients!!)...

From The Kitchen of: ME!

Prepare ahead of time:

Work 14 hours the night before, after 4 days of no sleep and working 14 hours. Sprinkle with a little aggrivation, a touch of the dog eating the cat food you just opened, a little bit of cleaning up a kitchen after the man, when you just cleaned it the night before and didn't dirty anything yourself, and remember that was going to be his one friggin job, add a tablespoon of cleaning the floor on your hands and knees, and vaccuming, Sift 3 jumbo litter boxes, and brush 2 cats. Follow that with giving your dog 2 pills, cleaning her eyes, ears, then apply eye and ear medication... all while your BF relaxes and reads. Mix it all together with being torn between your duties and spending time with your man and let sit overnight. Go to bed at 12:30 a.m. like every other night. While BF was warm and snuggly in bed at 11:30. (not until fulfilling his 'boyfriend duties' though...so he gets some props here. This ingredient is not required, as it may sour the goal of having a bad day)

Then after sitting overnight, add the following:

  1. Have your alarm go off at 4:15 a.m. to get your BF up for a test
  2. Have your alarm go off at 4:30 a.m. to get your BF up for a test
  3. Wake up at 6 a.m. to hear BF in the shower, when he had a test at 5:30 a.m.
  4. Doze off ever so delicatley, have BF come and wake you up getting into bed again.
  5. Have discussion about why BF didn't go have his test when he is in pain
  6. Fall asleep for 1/2 hour, then YOUR alarm goes off to get up at 6:30 (I never wake up that damn early)
  7. Think about how you can't fall asleep and not fall asleep til your alarm goes off at 7:15 to get up and be out of the house by 7:30
  8. Have BF rub back to put you to sleep (this also is not required, it may sour the recipe)
  9. Wake up and feed pets, let rabbits out, let dog out, brush teeth.
  10. Run into door, because you are so tired.
  11. Rub eyes for 3 minutes and become more sleepy
  12. Dont fix your hair, or make up
  13. Notice large hump growing on your face. Nice. (this makes the bad day even more bad, but the recipe will taste fine without it)
  14. Make coffee. Notice, there is no lid for coffee cups. BF takes them to work and loses them.
  15. Blow top, silently in your mind
  16. Run downstairs, and forget your lunch after hurdling the baby gate penning up the dog, and have to go back up to get said lunch.
  17. Get all shit together, go to car, spill your coffee on the drivers seat of your light tan interiored car.
  18. Curse vigorously, and throw random tupperware kept in car at garage walls. (throwing things makes the recipe mesh better)
  19. Hear jingle jangle of cat bells and realize, your cats are outside, cus someone left open the laundry room door. Chase cats back inside.
  20. Open trunk and use blanket to cover up coffee on seat.
  21. Get behind slowest person in the universe, only to have them turn, feel a glimmer of hope, and get stuck behind a school bus.
  22. Drink topless coffee, splash on glasses, that you had to wear cus you have no time to put contacts in.
  23. Smear hopelessly, the coffee on your glasses, the 3 times you attempt to clean them while driving.
  24. Lick sticky coffee fingers, only to make them more sticky because you have a sticky coffee mouth. (I like my sugar!)
  25. Use hoodie to wipe sticky fingers on. Be sure and dip the opposite sleeve, INTO your topless coffee cup.
  26. Finish it up with being late to work, and there you have it.

Put in large bowl and beat. and beat. and beat. Cook at 350 for 24 hours.

A shitty morning! It's a simple recipe! Anyone can do it!

I also had a stupid dream about TWDSO. I came to work and he was sitting at my desk on the phone. I didn't say a word to him, I went outside and waited for him to leave, but came back in and told him I needed to sit at MY desk. Then, there were kittens outside my work. 1 looked like it might die. Of course I took the damn things home, so then I had 7 cats!!!!!! And I also had 4 hamsters that were eating each other. And...the *plethora of other animals that I have.

So, I'm sitting here, blogging about my shitty morning, and WG calls me. Asks if I am OK. I said I just got up on the wrong side of the bed, and only had about 4 hours of sleep. He said "What can I do to make you feel better?"

Do you believe this guy? He's MINE all MINE! Back off bitches! LOL! I just really don't feel like I deserve to be treated so good, he is really good to me. I'll always find things to bitch about cus I'm a woman. But, he really is a great guy. And now....I'm gonna go daydream about him! .....

*sigh*

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It's Friday. I included an icon on the left titled 'Fear Friday' If you click it, it will take you to femimommys blog, where you can confess your fears today. It's a fun way to shed some baggage!

I'm kickin' it w/my homies tomorrow night. Gals only. I can't wait! It's been forever since I went out solo. It's sad, but I'll miss WG. I miss him now, and I saw him less than an hour ago! Did I mention drinking?

Today's Question:

What's the most daring sexual thing you've done with someone of the same gender, that you don't prefer sexually?

Well I wouldn't call it daring. And, I won't mention names to protect the (not so) innocent. But I kissed a friend. NO TONGUE! And I also grabbed the same friends breast. I have pictures of both incidents, which were in public, and not sexual by nature, and induced by alchohol, but the most sexual thing I've done. **I have no desire to 'be with' a woman. Joking, yea thats one thing. If I ever had a vagina in my face I think I'd puke!!!! No, I know I'd puke!

(**Unless you include yourself. But, I prefer myself sexually. So I don't count! lol!!!!!!!!!)

*For Tayray

3 comments:

Tayray said...

I kissed a friend, with NO TONGUE though! And my friends kept grabbing my boobs on my birthday cuz of my new bra. They said I had great boobs!

Im gonna miss girls night, so have a couple for me and I'll have some for you!

Celina said...

If you're happy with the BF situation, good for you. I get soooo aggravated with my DH because he's lazy and a bit of a slob. I like to keep a clean house. Yeah, we conflict a lot on this! He also gets up earlier than me, so I hear his alarm 1-2 hours before I even have to get up. Then he turns on all the lights and stomps around the room, asking me "where's my this, where's my that?" He only gets up and gives himself 15 min to shower, shave, dress, and eat. That leaves feeding pets, making bed, straightening up, litterbox, trash, and other miscellaneous chores to me. So, I have to get up and give myself time to do all that (1hr). And, I've tried doing some things at night, but then he'll be watching tv or playing a game and ask "why do you have to clean house NOW?" AAARRRGGGHH!!!

Mon said...

Aren't men the most fun ever???? Their moms do it to them! Picking up after them. I think they think their crap magiclly disappears! POOF your shit is clean! I wish!