"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

My Dirty Little Secret...

Isn't the first step in battling addiction, admitting you have a problem? Then I'm well on my way cus I'll be the first to admit that........

I like to partake in a little nasal spray.

It started out innocently, a few years back, visiting my mom and sis in SC in May. Pollen. So bad, everything is yellow. My face was sore because my sinuses were so clogged. Mom gave me some good drugs for my sinuses, but also nasal spray.

Ohhhhhh....the instant gratification! Puff Puff, ahhhhhh!!!

Last time I checked, it is perfectly legal to use nasal spray. You can buy it at virtually any store across the country. But, I get a lot of crap from people for using it.

Everyone: "You're addicted to it"
Me: "Yea, and....?"

It started out like most addictions, once in a while. I would use it more sometimes to 'get through a bad day'. When my nose started to bleed when I blew it.....I cut down. I would only use it at night, so I could sleep without snoring myself awake. Otherwise, I have to take sleeping pills to get a full nights rest, and then I can't wake up in the morning and get to work. I finally decided I'm just using it whenever I damn well please!

The only reason I even bring it up now, is that I'm pretty sure it's rotting my eyes out. I don't know if this is possible, but my eyes hurt and burn almost all the time, so much, I want to poke them out! When I first give a sniff, my eyes burn and water horribly.

So, yea, I know that it can ruin the mucas membrane in my nose, and dry my nose out. I know it is addictive. But, I don't really care. Nothing works to clear a clogged nose like nasal spray.

I gave it up a couple times, you just have to get through the first few days of not breathing. But why don't YOU try not breathing for a few days and see how you like it! Don't judge me! I am entitled to my *legal* addiction. I am not going to have a hole in my nose, that's called a cokehead.

I knew I was in trouble when I left my sniffer at work last night. I really was nervous cus at night I really can't breathe. I popped a few sudafed's and they didn't really work. I suffered through a restless nights sleep.

My conclusion? I'm not giving it up. First thing this morning when I got to work, I got my fix, and I feel so much better. (minus, the burning, watering eyes)

I had to do my little bit of exercise downstairs cus I put plastic on the windows, and the blinds are always open now. Not into doing my strip aerobics for the world. I won't even do it around CP! So, I feel lazy cus I didn't 'really' work out on the only day I 'really' work out. I have PMS and nothing will make me happy! I hate everything there is to hate about me. Which, is a lot when you got PMS! Which reminds me, I'm still gonna post about that medical condition shit! Some day!

CP worked a night job last night so we didn't see each other. Only I stopped at his work on my way home from job 2 to give him kisses. Go ahead and say that I'm gay, I don't care! It was so worth it! =)

I also got my first "unsolicited" compliment on my engagement ring last night. The girl at BP said it was a beautiful ring, I said "thank you I think so too" then she said it again, It's just beautiful! Yea, he did a good job! I'm proud of him! (BTW I got gas for $1.89 last night!!!!!!!)

Today's Question:

What was the warmest welcome you've ever received?

I gotta go with my Canada trip this year, cus CP went to a lot of trouble to make my coming home special, no one has ever done that for me before! And, it felt reallllllly good to be back in his arms!!!!


Tayray said...

I helped CP!! I let him in to do what he needed to do!!!
And we all got our *legal* addiction so be it! You like nasal spray, who cares!!

hot for jr. said...

I share your addiction, though not as much. I use it once at night before bed. During the week I rarely ever use it at work - only if I have a cold or it's really bad. On the weekends, I tend to use it a little more. Weekend recreational use. LOL!!

Mon said...

Yea, I um use mine recreationaly too, uh, only on wknds, not all the time. That's what I meant.