"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

The Great Weight Debate...

Well....It's weigh in day at work today! The results? I lost 4lbs the past week! I even went out drinking this wknd!

All together that makes 15lbs. But I did technically lose 15lbs, the break up way. Meaning, I was too upset, sick to my stomach, nauseus, depressed, you name it, to eat for weeks, and when I did manage to eat something, I just crapped it right back out. Sure don't miss that!! It was a rough month for sure!
So, only 10lbs of that stayed off once I started to hold food in/down again. And I've lost 5 just recently.

I have been doing good with my stripper/dance dvds! lol! their a good workout you just have to keep repeating the routines until you cant do anymore. I have also been doing the stairs at home, up and down for 1, and i do it 10 times, twice in between the videos.
I also picked up the weights again. I started where I left off months ago, at 8lb weights. I got out my body sculpting bible and everything. And, gotta love those crunchessss! I havn't gotten on the treadmill, because I'm bored with walking and staring at the wall. I need a new tv so I can put one in the spare room. Working out with Carmen Electra is fun, shes hott! No, I'm not gay, I am secure in my womanhood!!! She's a good inspiration, to me she has a perfect body. Not too thin, curvy, and she has a butt.

I just don't feel the way I look! Like I'm trapped in this body! I gotta get healthy! Once I accomplish this, its on to quitting smoking....that is the plan! I'll be unstoppable!

And the first week changing my eating habits was hard. But, like any addiction, you get past the physical need and your on your way!!!
I am, sadly, a food addict! Which to me, is worse than a crack addict, or any other drug, cus you have to eat to live, you dont have to do crack to survive, you might feel that way, but really, you dont!!!! Not that I am belitteling drug addiction at all.

So, I'm managing it well. Telling myself when I'm not hungry, is the hardest. I want to eat out of habit, not hunger, so I say 'self, you are not hungry!'

Herbal tea helps, no calories, but I sweeten it with honey and thats just a few calories. And it fills you up. Mainly, thats what I do when I get home from work late at night. Cus, my biggest downfall ( i have many) was eating late at night after work.
Now, I work out, and have my herbal tea, and then a fudgsicle. Sugar free!

I also think subconsciously...I'm hiding under fat. So no one will look at me. Someone on Oprah (hail Oprah) said that, and it hit home. Having guys interested in you means you have to make decisions on who YOU like....and now, I kinda like hiding from them! It seemed so much easier to meet guys last time I was single...I was younger and more outgoing. Sniff Sniff. Although, this wknd, 2 people said they thought I was 21 or 22! Yay me!

The new season of Blowout started last night. Oh, how I love that show!! The drama! The hair! The fighting! lol! It looks like its gonna be a good season too! The cast even has their own blogs!
Yes, I also watched Britney's show again. I actually say out loud to myself that I cant believe I'm watching it! But, you can't blame a TV addict!


JustDes said...

wow where do i began? Ok as far as the weight issue....Good luck girl....I couldn't keep up with a diet to save my life. I just jog now and drink lots of water and pray i can maintain the shape i'm in now...I think i'm good right now...5'6...148lbs....and i'm not sloppy...yet. Oh and Carmen Electra is HOT! Not gay, just aware ; )

I'm glad i have someone to share in my obsession in CHAOTIC...I just really appreciate Britney showing she's human and does human shyt...like fallin love with a loser (i'm hoping she'll wisen up)....I'm soo hooked...I can't tell too many people that...except you YAYYYYYY!

Hot For Jr. said...

I agree with the hiding behind fat thing. If you don't interest people then you don't have to worry about falling in love and getting your heart broke. It's easier just to stay alone. Although I have met someone recently and so far I'm happy.
As far as losing weight, I've tried to change some of my eating habits, still not exercising, and some people have noticed a loss. A manager at work was away the last 2 weeks doing his annual National Guard thing, and today was the first time I really saw him. He came over to my desk to ask if I was losing weight because he could see it. That made me feel soooo good!! Your family and co-workers see you everyday, so when someone says they can tell, it's a good feeling.

Mon said...

neodes: Im def up on chaotic! It is good to show that celebrities are people too, and at least our issues arent aired on TV! Its a secret obsession! lol! Also good to know, I'm not the only one who thinks Carmen is hott! lol!

hot for jr: See, Oprah is the Goddess of TV! She is my idol for real! And you laughed at me! She's smart! Her words, 'you do not become what you want, you become what you believe' are in my head daily! And about people noticing weight loss, I said that was my favorite thing people ask me, in one of those online tests 'have you lost weight?' lol!