I'm not sure how this happened. Somehow, the fact that my brother screwed up his life, has become my problem. I was hoping my Mom could help get him back on track. Get him to clean up his place, and go home. Turns out, he doesn't want to go home. Turns out she wants him to be with me. Permanent. This is my problem how? He said he has no choice but to go home but he doesn't want to. Well see, you do have a choice, it was before you decided to let your house go. That was the choice you made. My Mom feels bad for him. Ok, she's the Mom. But then she said I should let him live with me, and not charge him half the bills. "You shouldn't expect that" she said. Oh, ok, cus him living with me for free for 3 months was better?
I don't know how the fuck I went and got stuck with the responsibility of getting him fed. Getting his meds. Buying him cigarettes. DRIVNG HIM TO WORK each day. Wasting MY GAS. Not getting paid a penny. I'm over it. The shits going to hit the fan. I don't want to be mean to him but he is a grown man. And why it is my job to take care of him. I don't have kids. He's not mine. He is 34. Time to stop letting life get you down and DO SOMETHING about it. God. I'm sick and tired of working two jobs, and I can't quit with him there. I'm not getting ahead at all. He is making me hate my own life! You know, no one has rescued me. So don't ever expect me to rescue you. I've done all I'm doing. I don't care if it sounds heartless as my Mom seems to think. If I could do it, anyone can. I've been through a LOT more than my brother has..... A lot! And what am I doing? Still living my life. That's all you can do.
On a lighter note, I've exchanged a few great emails with someone online! On paper, everything's really perfect. But you know how that goes. I guess. I havn't done this before, but he seems to be everything I'm looking for, and funny. I like funny. Cute too! Of course, only time will tell if he's only after the booty. I've had a shitty morning at work. I have so much to do to prepare for being gone Thurs, Fri, and Mon.