"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Saturday, September 15, 2007

I Might Puke My Guts Out...

Ok, so, it's 4:30 a.m. Sunday. I'm working. I just finished texting with the internet guy again for the evening. Well, it was a while ago, but you catch my drift. Guess what? We are going to meet. Guess when? FRIDAY! Friday? Heck yea, THIS COMING FRIDAY. I am off that night, but work the Saturday and Sunday afternoon shifts. I have one week to prepare my gut for pukage. I am a total wreck already! We've been texting a lot, and I know we'll have lots to talk about, but ummmmmm, me? I'm not so outgoing in real life. *Gulp* We've seen each others photos, so we know what we're getting into. But real life is like, uh, real and stuff. And, you cant jump around when he says something cute, (like you do in private) or hide that your totally embaressed or well... arrrrrrgh! I know we like each other. But is it all just make believe?

We are going to go to a winery. So, sure I'll get the buzz on. Everyone, send me positive vibes. I need them!!! Since I like someone now, someone seems to be contacting me more too. You know, when one of them wants you, then they ALL want you. It can never be simple. Because I despise making decisions like that. It's going to come down to that. Eventually. Unless this guy hates me, but c'mon, that's not gonna happen. I'm pretty likeable, right? Not to mention, this thing with someone is totally casual and he has had almost a year to get on the bus.

You know, sad as it may sound, I've never really dated anyone. No one takes me out. I don't go places that I don't have the money for. So, this is all new to me. God, this is my year of firsts for shizzie. What a turnaround 2007 has been! Wish me luuuuuck! Mostly, pray that I don't yack my guts out in front of him. My. Nerves. Are. So. Bad.


Chaim said...

I've never really done that whole "dating" thing, either. Always just right into it. There was one person I "dated" for quite a while, and it was terrible. I hate "dating". I plan to never do it. Full-fledged into intense relationship, as gut-wrenching as it can be much of the time, is way better than the alternative.

This is how a see dating: I go out with you. I convince you I'm someone I'm not. You convince me you're someone you aren't. We date those two mostly-fake people for a while until we get to know eachother well enough to display the real us. Then, if we don't totally freak out, we can have a relationship.

I'd much rather let someone know the real me right off the bat and then see if they'll have it.

I hope the winery goes well. Wineries are great.

Don't get too drunk :)

EC said...

YAY! So excited for you!! It'll be great :) (sending positive vibes!!)