"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort










Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Trojan Man....

Wtf is up with blogger latley? I'm about tired of it taking an hour to log in. I didn't sleep well but I got a lot of sleep. I'm still exhausted. I'm happy today because Lost is on. It's ok to have an addiction to TV, it's harmless. What's better? A friend from work is going to go to aerobics tonight with me! I won't mention, how I havn't gone in 5 days. I don't feel much like doing anything. Men blow the big one. Being alone is hard. I know it'll get better. Easier. And...we ARE still talking. My ex Z called yesterday. Don't think it wasn't extremely tempting to just have a hot steamy session. Take my mind off of things. In order to be in better spirits today, here's a story about another ex.

I was reminded of the incident, cus I was watching on Oprah, medical problems most people have, but are embaressed to talk about. One such problem, was 'losing a tampon'. To which the Dr. kept saying, they aren't lost, they are just stuck. And most women don't know they are there, they go to the Dr. for other reasons, and they are found.

I know if this hasn't happened to you, you're probably thinking "what a dumbass". No, that hasn't happened to me, but I did have a problem of equally disgusting proportions. And since I have no shame, I'll share that story with you.

It was about 4 years ago, I was dating TWDSO (the ex) and at the time, I still thought the sex was pretty awesome. Amazing what being celibate for a while will fool you into thinking, right?
Anyway, we were at the Rolling Rock concert in Pennsylvania for the night, and we got a hotel room to rest our drunk, weary heads. In the morning, we were trying to have some sex, when our friends kept calling, and we said we'd be down in a minute. They wanted to go to breakfast. Next, came the knocking on the door, they were ready to leave. Really, they were being haters cus they weren't having any sex. Assholes.

When we were rushed into completion, TWDSO said "where's the condom?" I said "it probably came off in the sheets or something". So, he searched the bed while I rushed to get ready to check out of our hotel room. "I can't find it". Great. Just what you want the maid to find, right? Being the concerned person I am I took everything off of the bed, shook it out, looked under the bed, it was nowhere to be found, meanwhile, friends pounding on the door, right? We had to go, and I thought 'sucks to be the maid!'.

We went to breakfast, then had roughly a 3 hour trip to get home. We never gave that condom a second thought. To not be graphic, two days later I'm thinking, something doesn't feel right. I kinda had cramps, and it was just an odd feeling in the girly bits. It was then, that I found that phantom condom. Yea, it was 'stuck' for two days. Isn't that fantastic?

Now, one might ask, how it happened. I blame the fact that he was not circumsized, and condoms never seemed to stay on right, not to mention, he wasn't well endowed. So, them coming off was normal, but not this way. How did I not notice it? Obviously it was not just sitting there, or I would have. This kinda shit happens to people, but they just don't talk about it.

5 comments:

Tayray said...

It will get easier to be alone, and you did the right thing, just keep telling yourself that!!
Secondly, Im cracking up at your 'lost condom', that's fucking classic!!!

supplymadam said...

My niece got really sick from a stuck tampon once. She was getting an infection from it and was running a fever. Some strong antibiotics and she was better. That shit can actually kill you,pretty scary.
I did that when I was younger out for a drunken night and didn't realize I put one in with the other never removed. I wound up going to the emergency room the next day because I was able to feel it but just couldn't grab it. It was quite embarrasing when the doctor got it out with a tweezer and him and the nurse cheered.

Rachel said...

Sorry you're feeling kinda down lately. A good workout always makes me feel better!

I'm happy Lost is on too! I'm so hooked. It's bad.

Anyway, your story is not that uncommon. The EXACT same thing happened to me once. I found it later that night. Gross, huh?

Mon said...

tayray:
I prefer to be alone. I work better by myself.

supplymadam:
thats what they said on tv! that usually you get sick and find out thats what it is, you forget about them!

Rachel:
Good, now I don't feel alone. My friends gave me a hard time about it for a long time. They probably did the same damn thing!

Celina said...

I know this is out of order (I commented on the post above first), but I've been out of the loop for a while and didn't realize that you and CP weren't together. I'm sorry to hear it, but I'm sure you know what's best for you!
As for the lost condom, OMG! That's terrible! That just doesn't seem possible to me, I guess cuz the ones R uses seem to be so tight? Is that due to condom or manhood size? I dunno? :)