"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Monday, October 23, 2006

You Can Find Most Anything At Kohl's...

I took the morning off work, to go to an interview with Office Team. I'm on the great job hunt for my second job. I love to torture myself with working my life away. I need to marry a rich man to take me away from all of this. If I could just settle for not having anything, I can work 1 job. But, I have this thing called goals. One of which, is to pay off my credit card debt ASAP. Two jobs is the only way. I did excellent on my Word, Excel, typing, data entry alpha and data entry numeric tests. They said I got double the average keystrokes on all the tests, and 90, and 95% on the Microsoft tests. Do I rule? Why yes, yes I do!

Since I don't have to dress that nice to work, I had to go buy a nice shirt to wear for my meeting this morning. Kohl's has great sales, so off I went. The first shitty thing was, I had to shop in the women's department, because nothing fit me anywhere else. Strike one. Strike two came, while trying on clothes in the dressing room. It's bad enough that the lighting in there makes you look horrible under your clothes, but what about everywhere else?

And that my friends, is when I saw it. Plain as day. Mocking me in the mirror. No doubt about it, honest to goodness, my first gray fucking hair!!! Gray. Not blonde. Not a cat hair floating amongst my dark hair. A gray hair. Right in my part of all places, about an inch and a half long. I furiously tried to pull it out, but it wouldn't budge. It kept curling. Bouncing right back up.

I felt ridiculous. I'm 30. I'm not old. Why does my body want to do this to me? I decided, I wasn't even taking back the clothes I didn't want. Now that I'm old, it's time to act like I'm entitled to do as I please, like the rest of the old biddies, and leave my clothes in the dressing room. Fuck it.

It doesn't stop there. I stopped at the grocery store to get some cat food, and picked a few other things up, like 27 lbs of cat litter. When I pulled my cart up to the register, the cashier said, "Maam, you don't have to lift that heavy thing, I'll get the numbers off the side." Maam? That lady was older than I was. Ok, so now I'm old and feeble. I get out to my car, and here comes the bag boy with my cat food. "Is this yours Maam?" "Yes" I say, "That's that main reason I came today. Thank you so much for bringing that out to me." "No problem" he says "My MOM does that stuff all the time. Want me to lift that into your trunk for you?" Pointing at my 27 lb kitty litter. I felt defeated. "Sure".

So, I found a gray hair, and instantly turned into some old crotchity woman. I went from a 'Miss' to a 'Maam'. I called my Mom to tell her the bad news. "Some people get gray hair when they are 18." Like that made me feel any better. I said "I'm not 18. I'm 30." I don't remember thinking I was old at 18. My sister? Said "payback's a bitch." CP? said "it's not your first one, I saw more but didn't want to tell you." I refuse to believe that one.

I'll be working my life away into spinsterhood. Me, and my gray hair. I'll never let it rest. It is devestating to me. I have such a fear of getting old. Welcome to my mid life.


supplymadam said...

Well welcome to the gray hair club. It sucks big time! Ironically 30 is when I first started to color my hair. Not for the gray hairs at that time but just to have a change. But those days are long gone. Now I need to color my hair and I do it myself and my mom's hair plus I perm her hair. I am a frustrated hairdresser. I must be doing a good job because we get hair cuts my hair cutter always says they like our color and my mom's perm.
The reason I color my own hair is because I have to do it every 4 weeks and I refuse to pay 30.00 every 4 weeks on top of a haircut.
I hate being called "Maam" although I guess I am one.

Janet said...

I havent found a grey hair yet, but my boyfriend got his first "camo" (for camoflauge) dye job the other day.

As for the dressing room though I gotta say I'm shocked. I hate when people leave things in the dressing room: young, old or otherwise.:(

Mon said...

Its a club I wasn't exactly excited about joining. I'm not ready for it! Ugh. I do have my hair hilighted, but unless I go lighter They are going to show. I blame it on the man, I was young and verile tile he came around. Can girls BE verile?

I wish more men would dye their hair. My ex was 30 and half gray. I find it attractive on older men. But my age? not so much.

I know, I usually walk a mile to return everything I don't want to buy, but I had just been kicked in the stomach. I was in mourning for my fresh hair.

EC said...

LMAO!! What a day you had "m'am"! Sorry, had to put that in there ;)

If it is ANY consolation I had a full head of gray hair by the time I was 21. My senior yearbook showed a picture of me with literally streaks of gray hair. My mom wouldn't let me die until I was 18 so I was pretty much screwed, lol. I haven't seen my real hair color since 18 and seriously can't remember what it looks like!!

Hope that makes you feel just a wee bit better :)

Just Expressing Myself said...

I got my first grey hair at 29.
And I can so relate about the dressing room lights; I hate trying stuff on because of them.
Congrats on those scores.
Take care,

Hothousemomma said...

I love how the gray hair is wirey.
They bug me to. They pop out here and there... ewwwww

Mon said...

I know, it was like the hair started it all. I had a bad day for someone trying to keep it real.
I dye my hair too...I'm going to have to go with a different color though.

lovely. 29 is so young. so is 30! Ugh!

exactly! Sticks straight up in the air!

R said...

Ah, I'll be 30 in 4 months to the day and that I have to look forwart to that...gray hair..ugh, I have to say how supportive of CP to not tell you of the supposed other ones. My hubby would tell me that too. This 24 yr old that works with me called me Maam on Wednesday, and I said, "Look, I'm not that much older than you."

Look on the bright side, at least you'll be surrounded by your cats....(lmao)....!!!