Love Will Lead You Back...

Tuesday night, I woke up on the couch with CP spooning me, and a tingling hand. It was reached around my back, grasping CP's package. CP had his hand nestled on my left breast. It took me a minute to register what the fuck was going on...Ah. We fell asleep trying to get it on. I remember it, but don't remember falling asleep. Like we're 80 or something? And whoever fell asleep last is an asshole for not waking the other one up! To rectify the situation I had to go home on my lunch break yesterday for a nooner. The things you do for love.

And, on the way back, I heard that Taylor Dayne song. Love Will Lead You Back. It's one of those songs I use to bawl to when someone dumped me in high school. Not caring that some asshole cheated on me, I just wanted him back. Remember in high school, when you would break up with someone, and see them in the halls all the time? Or, had to see them every day, holding HANDS for fuck's sake, with another girl?? Hello? Heartache!

This sparked a conversation with me and the man about high school. I said you couldn't pay me enough to go back. He said, he'd give anything to go back, but retain the knowledge he has now. I said, that's not part of the fantasy. You go back and know nothing, that's part of being in high school. He asked why I wouldn't go back, let's see...do you want fries with your order?

Drama. Be it with your boyfriend, friends, enemies, frienemies, enemies of your friends, someone you like, someone who likes you, teachers, band practice (shut up), whatever. There is far too much drama in school. And it is ALWAYS the end of the world.

The feeling you got when your boyfriend walked you to class, snuck in a kiss, and was waiting for you after, that was fun. If you pissed each other off, "it's over". Then, you can pine for each other, cry all day at school. Wish he would call you. Cross his name off of all your books, (or recover them if this is the third or fourth boy or break up) and start talking to that guy you don't really like, but you know will piss the ex off. Then, in 2 days you're back together. Yay!

How about those hormones? You always hear Dad's say, "I was that age once, and I know all I thought about" well, sorry to burst your bubble...but I'm pretty sure your daughter feels the same way! I didn't have anyone pressuring me to do anything! It was mutual! It's the fun of being young! Holey moley! But then again, it wasn't that fantastic cus you don't really know what you are doing, and I guess something can be said for experience and age. Did I just admit I went all the way?

As an adult, pretty much, when it's over, it's over. Now, instead of moving out of each other's locker (remember sharing a locker???) it's moving out of a home. Serious business. And, in school, I've thrown the man's things out of my locker a time or two. Just as I've thrown the mans things out of my house. I've always been somewhat dramatic.

Being a grown up really does fucking suck sometimes, but it's also a good feeling, to know that you know what you want. You have a better handle on your emotions, and your future. I do complain alot about growing up, but I also wouldn't go back, not for a million bucks. (this is not to say I wouldn't still like to LOOK like I did in high school...totally different thing!)

And again...so we're clear...riding a bike is much harder when your older. I did make it up the hill this time. So, I'm progressing slowly! I think I'm painting my bike again. I'm entitled to change my mind.

On a completely unrelated note, if you like funny things, go read this post over at My So Called Strife. It's a funny with Tom & Jerry and censorship. A must read!

Think Up Your Own Title....

I took forever yesterday picking out CP's gift. He has poor taste in my opinion so I was quite excited when we were last at Kohl's and he picked out a cute pair of Van's. He has been wearing this ugly pair of blue and white high top sneakers. High tops? Did I mention they were used, from a former coworker? The man never wants to buy himself anything. He'd rather blow his load on the lottery and pop. Ok....that sounded dirty. And not to mention, I won $2 on a ticket yesterday.

Back to the point. I got him the shoes he wanted, cus I approved, and I got him a pretty sweet shirt too. He wears things like shirts about bacteria being some peoples only friend, NASCAR (ugh), and he wore a hooters shirt to work yesterday. So I buy him 'cool' T-shirts. I also planned on buying a white dress shirt for myself to wear with my plaid skirt....to give him a lil sumthin sumthin....but I had no luck. That will have to be a project for the weekend.

When the man got off work, I rubbed his stank feet for him, and gave him his gifts. He said he liked the stuff and put it in the boxes. I'm like the best person to give presents to, because I love them. I don't understand how people can NOT like presents. CP said he's old cus he got clothes. I said you got clothes cus you never buy yourself anything nice. MEN! Oh well I'm pretty sure he's gonna love the other gift he's getting.

I watched Dateline last night about the Amish sex scandal. I dunno if it's a scandal but this poor amish girl got raped by her 3 brothers! Fucking perverts! One was over 100 times. The only thing respectable about the amish, is that they admitted to raping their sister and apologized for it while on trial. They thought they should be let go. Apparently punishment for the amish who don't go outside the community, is being banned for 6 weeks from church activities. For rape. And drinking too much? It's the same punishment.

The next time I see those buggies parked outside the store, I'm going to think a whole lot different about them. Their kind of up on a pedastal around here. Like their so innocent, mmmm Amish cheese, look, the amish make these candles, they MUST be good! There are bad apples in every barrel. The kicker of the whole story, was all the amish that showed up to court to support rapists. And cried for them the whole time. Not caring about the girl who was raped. Thanks.....but no thanks! I'll take my car, TV, electric, internet, phone, store bought clothes, penal system, and job over that any day!

And thinking of embaressing moments with crushes yesterday, I couldn't leave this one out. I was probably 12 years old, and I had the super hots for my friend Stephanie's dad. His name was Dean. He was her step dad actually. I use to gross her out by saying he was hot. And she'd threaten to tell him, and I'd beg her not to. One day we were home 'alone' at her house jumping on her bed, and I was screaming "I love you Dean, you're hot"...you know where this is going right? He came in the room and asked what we were doing. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh my god! Needless to say, I did not go back to Stephanies for a long long time! We were practically neighbors so that was a big deal! We did everything together. I never got over that embaressment!

Ass, Grass, or Gas No One Rides For Free (and titmt)....

I paid a dear price for my bike ride. My legs are so freaking tired, the aerobics class yesterday, did me in. I'm done for. I couldn't wait to get on the bike and go for a ride on Saturday. CP adjusted my seat, and we were off. We went 2 blocks and I said I wanted to go back! No shit! My legs felt like Jell-o the rest of the day from it too. So I ended up exchanging my 24" for a 26" bike and I spent the night cleaning it up, and taking off the graphics. They were scratched off in spots, and looked totally gay. Where there were scratches, there was rust, so I had to paint it with rustoleum to stop it.

I also got a new seat with shocks, and gel pads. It's wider for my wider butt as well. Way more comfortable ride. And, while my new bike was blue (my favorite color), I painted it metallic silver. It's a work in progress. It's pretty bad ass actually.

I took a little trip down to the towpath Sunday, I felt a little more brave. I live on a big slope. So, the whole way there was all down hill. Once I made it the mile to the trail I felt a sense of accomplishment. But I kept going. The sound of the wind in my ears as I zipped down the trail, was invigorating. I was the only one on the trail, and I felt on top of the world. I didn't make it very far, because I had to go back...up hill.

I did make it most of the way home but there is a steep hill that I pedaled and pedaled to get up, and up, and then.....I just stopped. I couldn't pedal. I literally just stopped dead. I walked my bike in shame the rest of the way. The ride turned out to be 40 minutes, not too bad for my first official ride. My legs? Yea, their a little tired. They don't hurt, they just take the mind to make them work. Right, left, right.....Walking seems like work to me.

Remind me the next time I want to have a Krispy kreme, how freaking hard it is to work it off.


And, after. I still have to order some sweet graphics for it off e-bay. Their tribal Hello Kitty. I know, you are all jealous, I would be too! The question I pose is, should I get hot pink, white, or black? I thought hot pink at first, but my seat and handle bars are black?

Even though I was whooped, I told CP I wanted 'some play' last night. He said "we have trivial pursuit at the house we can play when I get off work". Somehow, the thought just didn't turn me on at all. Even though he didn't give me any, happy birthday to my CP who is the big 3-7 today!!!

Today's tell it to me Tuesday question from The Art of Getting By the story of your first crush.
Pshhhh, which one? The first unrequited crush was my brother's friend, Wayne. Who I had the super hots for. He was only a couple years older than me. I think I was 14 at the time. Once he slept in my bed. I never wanted to change my sheets! I wasn't home of course. I actually cried when he got a girlfriend. And, the most embaressing moment of my teen years, was when I was in emergency for dehydration due ot the flu. I co uldn't stop puking, so...they doped me up on morphine, and sent me home. My mom had my brother and Wayne come and get me from the car, and I professed my love for him then and there. Of course, I blamed the drugs, and claimed not to remember it. He eventually married that girlfriend. Who should have been me. Asshole.

I'm a Toys R Us Kid....

Well, the sex toy party on Friday was a lot of fun, as expected. Except, it sparked a long discussion Friday, and then again yesterday with CP about our sex life. Or, lack thereof...which, is always nice I suppose. See, when me and CP met he was all about sex, and I thought, wow, I finally met my match! Someone who wants to try new things, and I can be open with. He wanted to go shopping together for toys, and I was so excited. Then little by little the truth came out. He liked to talk about it. Not actually...do it. Or, you know.... there's all kinds of sex. Not just intercourse. I don't need it every day. I might get a complex, and think it was me if I thought it were in any way possible. There's nothing wrong with liking sex. And by sex I mean freaking intercourse!

When we went to the "toy store", (which was a big step for me!) everything I picked out was turned down, for various reasons. It looked too much like a schlong. It was too big. I get the picture. Some guys are sensetive to those things, and I never pushed for anything that 'offended' him again. My only complaint is, if you aren't willing to give it up to your woman, and by that I mean the cock, then how can you blame her for wanting an alternative? Is it better to cheat on someone than ask for what you want? He told me that it's like him wanting to bring another woman to bed with us. I said no...asking to have another man in bed, is like bringing another woman to bed with us. Big difference.

I called him from the party Friday, because I wanted to buy something, but I already have a few 'somethings' at home that we 'can't use together' because he says they intimidate him, and I didn't want to waste any money. What I wanted looked nothing like a member, and wasn't big at all, but is meant for insertion. The man didn't like the idea, and thus began "the talks". I have never been so open with someone about sex before, it's not easy. I just don't understand why if a girl is telling you what she wants, you wouldn't want to go along with it and give it to her? I'm not asking to strap one on and stick it to him!!

I have never in my sexually active years, had a guy so particular about sex. What he will and won't do, how and where, when and why. I'm an (almost) anything goes kinda girl. I need an (almost) anything goes kinda guy. Sex shouldn't be work to me. It kinda puts a damper on things. If the passion, and chemistry is there, it's a no brainer. I've yet to find this. Pity me.

Then, he told me that it's kind of a turn off that I always want to have sex. Turn off? Want sex? These words came out of a mans mouth, to my ears. I shit you not. Yea. Apparently, he wants to 'work for' sex. I'm too 'easy'. I can hear that at the water cooler. "Hey guys, my fiance is too easy, I wish she'd make me work for the goodies". Huh? I'm thinking all this shit sounds to me like he just doesn't like to get it on with me, but he swears that's not it. I'm thinking, CP is some kind of strange mutant hybrid, who calls himself a man. None of this makes any sense to me, it has never been my experience that a man doesn't like for you to WANT to have sex all the time. It's not me, its HIM!

I dunno what to do about it all. It's kind of depressing. I think I deserve to get what I want, and we should be able to compromise on some solution. I don't think that a year into your relationship, the sex is already dwindling. I've only had 1 relationship where the sex ever dwindled at all, and that's cus I was never attracted to him in the first place. My 7 year relationship with the ex husband wasn't sexually deprived either. Seven years is a long time with the same schlong! Of course, he wasn't faithful, but who's counting, this is about me!

I think, maybe it has to do with his age, he is 7 years older than me. Do 37 year old men have lower sex drives? I mean....WTF? Maybe he IS too old for me? He thinks that it's better to have someone you are compatible with and then WORK ON your sex life. Work on your sex life? Shouldn't that be the easy part? I am the opposite. I'd love a great sex life, because whenever your pissed at each other, theres always the sex. For me, it's what makes you feel intimate. The other stuff is nice too, but I don't like one without the other. Am I the only woman in the world like this?

dog days of summer....

Nothing like feeling the wind in your hair! This, is how little dogs roll. Little Hill is pimpin it. Right? Ridin' dirty, and all that. She loves to go buh-bye! I might have been photographing the dog...instead of paying attention to the road, but... what's done is done.





I wanna feel the wind in my hair too! I've wanted a bike forever and a day. We live like, a whole mile from the towpath trail. But, bikes are expensive, ok? We live by a canoe livery and they are selling all their mountain bikes, and buying new inventory. I never have time to stop in to check on them... cus hey, I'm a busy girl. CP went and checked them out, and got us 2 bikes cheap!! Hell Yea! Mine is only a year old, she's still a baby! I'm totally pimping my ride out, with some Hello Kitty. I cannot wait! I'm excited this comes at a time where I need something added to my workout to speed up my weight loss. I've got a good 2-3 months before it snows. I'm already practicing my biking voice. "Passing on the left" see how cool I am?

Hopefully, as an adult, I've learned my lesson in bike riding. You always have to go back. I remember riding far distances as a kid, and thinking, wtf I gotta go all the way back now! I'm so excited about riding my bike this weekend, so I'm sure it'll never stop raining!! Here's to hoping riding a bike.....is.. just like riding a bike. I havn't been on a bike in probably 15 years. I'm old!

Last night I dreamt about cane guy. Remember, one of the 'special' (special I means crazy not retarded) people at my old second job. He was being his typical self, shit in his pants, yelling "Diane Fossey" while snapping his fingers violently to that stupid 60's song....I'm telling you now...Come to think of it, it was more like a nightmare. I hope that it's not a sign that I have to go back to work there. Although, the money would be nice!

My friend Katie is having a graduation party tomorrow. She's been in school since 1980 sumethin'. I believe it's 24 years? She's been in college as long as regular school. She's been in school, 1 year less than as long as Tayray has been alive!! Woa. I dunno how she did it being a mom of two. (son, husband, you know...) She will go down in history as the smartest person I know.We've known each other about 18 years, we have a LOT of history. So, she's lucky that this is what she's going down in history for. You know I'd never tell...

Tonight, I'm going to a 'suprise' party. And by 'suprise' I mean..."Suprise! It's a sex toy party!" These always prove to be a killer time. Nothin like talking about your sex life (or lack thereof), passing around dildo's and vibrator's and playing pass the penis with a group of friends to round out the work week.

Father Figure...

We took the daughter shopping last night for school clothes. It started off bad, because I had to rush after aerobics to 'clean up' so we could meet at the gym to get our shop on. Of course, my whole head was soaked with sweat, and I had to use the hand dryer to try to dry it out. I might have tried to pretend I was Madonna a-la Desperatly Seeking Susan. Turns out, the daughter was not home for over an hour. I got to go home and clean up and feed the animals first.

It was actually fun, I didn't expect to like it. And, guess what? I'm not old, and my taste doesn't suck! I can remember hating shopping with my mom who loved velvet pouffy tops, and printed courderoy's. I didn't have an opinion at 12. My mom told me what was hip. It was mainly hand-me-downs. Or, whatever my mom hid under the shoe table for me at the Acme Click where she worked. I helped the daughter pick outfits out, and while she was in the dressing room, and needed more stuff, I was on a mission! I got to pick stuff out all on my own for her to try on. And guess what? She got the stuff I picked out. Holla. I'm hip-to-be square!

My favorite pick was a Johnny Depp T-shirt. It warms my heart to see the youngsters think someone I grew up loving is hot. I am so freaking cool. Guess who she likes better? Orlando Bloom. ME TOO ME TOO! It's like the Corey's were to me! (Corey Haim whom I liked better, and Corey Feldman) It was especially fun to watch CP be 'fatherly'. No, you can't get that. That's too short. What would your Mom say. And now I see how this tactic worked for my Dad as well. It was always fun to go to Dad's cus he just blamed Mom for all the boring stuff in life. "What would your mom think". It works like a charm though, I can see that.

He even caved and got her these chunky sandals she absolutley wanted but he thought were not practical. But in the end she got both sneakers and sandals. And the "if your Mom get's mad, she's getting mad at you" speech. I made him call the ex to see if she was allowed to wear Happy Bunny shirts. I like them too, but I didn't think they were school clothes. And, I was so right. The worst part of shopping was not buying anything for ourselves. I really wanted to get some CUTE vans, they were buy 2 get 1 free at Kohl's. But we couldn't buy ourselves stuff when we put the kid on a budget. *sigh* One day only sale. *bigger sigh*

We didn't finish until 10:15. When we told her how much the budget was and what we spent (which was OVER the budget) she said "that's not bad at all my friends all got to spend $1,000". Yea, laying on the guilt. I remember those days too! CP came back with the good old "if your friends jumped off a bridge...." Some things never get old. We stopped at Chick-fi-la, and there staring at me thru the drive thru window (in print) was my very first 'boyfriend'. He lived across the trailer park street from us! (shut it!) Apparently he was in some accident, and has had a ton of surgeries. CP asked the employee working the window what happened for me, their taking donations. I didn't give any money. It might be because he didn't love me. I'm vindictive that way.

(The official countdown has begun. LOST starts Oct. 4th. 40 days!!!!)

Pontification of Things....

I'm alive. I didn't post yesterday (but I posted yesterday's post...), and I didn't go to work. You would think someone kidnapped me, and left no ransom note. It's nice to be loved, but when your blowing chunks the last thing you think about is calling everyone. I slept all stinking day to keep from puking. All is well!

I had a meeting with this guy at work last week. He's a young buck who was thrust into his job because he was a good kiss-ass. He's like running all these programs, and has underlings. Anyways, he was showing me how to run a report, and said "we could sit and pontificate it all day". Say wha? He's well known for his excellent verbal skills, and often has us running to the online dictionary to understand wtf he is talking about. Mostly, he over uses the word 'essentially'. So, I looked up pontificate.

Main Entry: 2pon·tif·i·cate Pronunciation: pän-'ti-f&-"kAt
to speak or express opinions in a pompous or dogmatic way

Let's forget the fact that he pronounced it 'pon tif i kate'. Who the fuck speaks like that? Maybe I'm just a simple gal.

Remember like a month ago when I bitched because it was sooo hot? I guess I'm not entirely ready for it to be cold either. I am kinda excited for the leaves to change. And to go pick pumpkins from the cold muddy patch! Mostly I'm excited to carve said pumpkins, because my sister got me a drill to do all the work for me! Sweet!

Let me pontificate the word pumpkin for you. It's pronounced pun-kin. I don't care what anyone says, and since I can use pontificate in a sentence, that makes me smarter

Big Brother! How about Jedi Howie's exit?? Huh? Why couldn't he punch Mike in the face, I would've loved to see that! *sigh* I'm not excited about Janelle's bitch ass winning the veto. If James goes home because of her, she's next!

I'm one of those TV freaks, who has to know what show everyone 'use to be' on. A familiar face keeps me awake at night, until I can remember. I finally came to the conclusion, that MJ from the un-justly canceled North Shore, is Sunny from the kick-ass show Windfall. If you watched NS, she was a total blonde goody goody you hated for being so .....GOOD! On WF, she is a total skank-tified brunette temptress, who is whoring herself on Luke Perry! (not that I can blame her) (and do you watch Windfall?? How awesome was the way Luke Perry kicked out his two-timing wife? Pimp!)

If I were the president, I would make it unlawful to cancel a TV show, without an ending. That's reason enough to elect me. Plus, I can use the word pontificate in the correct context!

TITMT (Tell it to me Tuesday)

I've decided to participate in Tell it to me Tuesday. Over at The Art of Getting By. You can answer in the comments, or go visit the link above and sign your blog up too.

What is your favorite chick flick of all time...and why.

Being the movie buff that I am...it's hard to pick just one. (like cats...can't have just one) So I'll have to pick a couple.

1) Terms of Endearment

This movie has it all. Friendship, mother/daughter love, adultry, and death. What more do you need in one chick flick?

2) When Harry Met Sally

Because, no matter what girls say, men and women cannot be friends. It's true. Just like Harry says, they are all pretty much thinking about doing you.

3) Beaches

Say what you want about this movie. I sob every time I see it. And...I've seen it enough to know how it ends, ok? The bonds of friendship that every woman knows. Ugh. Awesome!

4) Stella (with Bette Midler)

Ugh. Talk about a good movie! A mothers sacrifice for her daughter's happiness. And for the famous line which my own mother and me use "massa card say he don't care when we pay him back"

5) Steel Magnolias

Another tear jerker. Movie about friendship, and how strong women really are to handle everything that we do. This movie envokes tears at many different points. Lot's of laughs, and lot's of tears.

I like lots of other movies, but some aren't considered classics yet. Like, Bridget Jones Diary, The Notebook, Cold Mountain, Under The Tuscan Sun. What are some of yours?

Hamster wheel...

I've been working my ass off at the gym now for 3 months. That is 3 months of 5 days a week. Three aerobics classes, and two step aerobics classes. The occasional walk with the dog, and sometimes walking and extra abs before a class. I'm not dieting. I'm eating less, and making better choices. Me and diets don't mix, given my history of violence against my body. So, I'd like to know when I'm suppose to see a change? I put my clothes on and they feel the same. I'd venture to say that my legs are bigger. My jeans fit tighter. I know my butts higher than it was, and I'm gaining some muscle, but what the hell gives?

It's usually about now, that I'd say fuckit, and give up working so hard, because I see no results. I have no idea if I've lost any pounds, because I don't dare step on a scale. That's self sabotage. I am not weighing myself until I can move a size down. I had my thyroid tested last year, it's perfectly fine.

The only thing keeping me motivated is that I feel good. I'm not sore like I was when I worked 2 jobs (a.ka. sat on my ass for 14 hours a day). I have more energy, and am generally happier with life. Being stagnant is really a bitch. And I hate bitches!

I went out with Kat on Friday. We met some guys she works with at the bar. We went to drive on a dirt pile. Yea, I thought it was weird too. But, it made me laugh. It was kinda like being on a roller coaster ride. We went in Jason's SUV. We all went to a pretty cool pool hall after that. Even though us gals don't like to hit balls with sticks. Waaaait a minute....nevermind. We all drove separatly. It reminded me of that scene from Swingers when they all roll up to the party in separate cars. It was so money. Guess you had to see it.

Speaking of movies. I watched one called Cache. It was a French film, because I am so cultured. It didn't have the option on the DVD to speak english so I had to suffer through subtitles. It was a pretty decent movie. Someone is stalking this family. Only, the movie ends and you don't really know who the fuck is stalking the family! It just ends. No explanation. Or there is an explanation and I'm a fucking idiot. Either way- waste of time. Oh, except at the verrrrrry end, the guy (who wasn't hot at all) takes it all off in the dark before bed, and he is naked. So, you get the impression of some cock'n balls. But not a full shot. A full shot might have been worth it.

Went to my work party on Saturday. It was...a work party. CP actually came after he got off of work, and I got him something to do in his 'spare time'. Selling a bunch of shit on e-bay. Hope he makes some mulah. I'm so all about the money. You'd think.

Because I love to entertain the masses. This site is a trip. Don't Date Him Girl. Visit it. Laugh. Post some fun stuff about your asshole ex-boyfriends!

One Step Closer to the edge...

I had a good workout again last night, despite the fact that only 3 of us showed up for the class. Then I took my puppy on a walk in the woods behind the house. I was on a roll. Something just isn't right with me and CP. Nevermind the fact that his new hours leave us no time together, that's not it. On the surface everything looks fine, but if you bite into us, you can tell we're sour. I just know something is going on, I feel it. I dunno when the end will happen, but women have a sixth sense about these things. Why do I always have to be right?

My ex Z called me I think it was Monday, from the hospital. Something was wrong with his testicle. If I hated him, this would be a good time to laugh. But, I think I still harbor some sort of feelings for him, since I can't seem to tell him to fuck off after being broke up almost 6 years. He had some tests, and a ct scan, and they ruled out a tumor. He said his bitch ass girlfriend (his words) didn't come see him. She was too concerned with 'work'. I said, she had to go shake her ass, because, you know, that's her 'work'. He was spose to go to the urologist this Wednesday. But he never called me. I hope he doesn't have cancer. And I hope his skank baby momma didn't give him some incurable disease like crotch rot!

Yea...I talked to him at home, while CP was there. Because if CP is so freaking unhappy with me, I could really care less. He's gonna get to see the crazy side of me, that hasn't come out in about 4 years. Poor guy! I'm having serious deja vu. It's never good....when you contemplate cheating on your fiance. I havn't done it! But I shouldn't even let it pop into my head! I'm a dweller. He said he isn't happy. So that's all I remember. 2 days later, he said he was 'just depressed' yet it still feels wrong. Stay tuned, this could get interesting!

Ok, so who can believe freaking Mike won the coup de tat power on Big Brother? I'm sure he will use it for evil. Go George, nominating James and Erica. Freaking idiot.

Anyone from the area, take note. You can get your fill of hot, wet, firemen tomorrow 9-12 at the New Franklin fire dept. They are having a car wash. So, go drool over the men, and help the burned kids in the meantime. I may have just washed my car, but seeing that my life pretty much sucks latley with my man, I'll go and wish I had someone else's.

A couple pictures from the hot air balloon launch I went to last month.

I Get knocked down, but I get up again...

Nothing picks your spirits up like kicking your own ass at a good workout! I went to the gym early yesterday and did some jogging, and abs before aerobics. Then I did 99% of the workout at high impact, which is a first for me, usually I just toss in a few hops here and there. It wasn't too hot so I gave it a whirl! Funny how seemingly exhausting yourself can make you feel better. Mentally, that is. Getting there is always the biggest challenge. I missed Saturday (for freebies at Bath & Body) so ever since....I've had to make myself do it. When I got home I hand washed my car, she's beautiful. I had so much to get done last night that I didn't sit down and relax until 10. Then CP was off work, and he was asleep by 11:30. Lightweight.

I also had a killer review at the job. It is nice to be appreciated. I didn't get in trouble for being late either, because I've been on time latley. Saved my own ass there! She just asked me to be on time, I said, it's a personal goal of mine. (I'm good at this type of thing) She thanked me for my perfect attendance (going on 6 years *pats own back*) and appreciates that I use my vacation time if I call off sick, she knows she can always depend on me. And she asked me to let her know if theres any classes I want to take. Well helllllll yea! I love continuing my education! It's great for the old resume!

I have a new love. Yoplait whips. They have pie flavored yogurts, that taste just like the pie it's named for. Lemon meringue, key lime, orange creme, chocolate mousse. They are the freaking bomb! I'd love to scoop them into a pie crust and enjoy them even more. But then I guess they wouldn't be that healthy. Speaking of healthy!

Did you know that baby chicks are made from egg whites, not the yolk? They absorb the yolk and that is what they live on the first few days of their lives. Think about that the next time you have your egg white omlette. I know I will! I'm not eating that shit for a long time!

I can't wait to see who gets kicked off Big Brother tonight!!!! Who won the special power? What will happen? Will Janelle be overthrown? My former favorite housegest needs the smack put down on her ass, and I cannot wait to see it happen!!!

Doom and Gloom....

You know how my Monday blew a fat one, and I couldn't find my keys? Wanna know where my keys were? Hanging on the key hook. Where they were suppose to be! I parked in the garage so I didn't use my remote to unlock it and it was on a crappy unprogrammed station so while driving, I simply hit my unlock button, and poof, it remembered when driver #2 was last in the car she was listening to Q92. My car is way smart like that! I love her!

I think that someone parked a dreary old rain cloud over my life, and opened up for business. No, it's not raining, at least not raindrops. Most of my friends are depressed. Myself and CP included. Who the hell cheers you up when your friends are in the shits too? It's starting to become clear, that me and CP don't have a future together. We're not having problems, and we both love each other, we just want different things. Neither of us can understand the other's thinking with finances. It's pretty sad.

His way of thinking might be good for me if I were 21, but I'm not. I'm 30 and I have an idea of what I want to do with my life. He told me I want more than most 50 year olds he knows want. I said clearly, we know different people. The man is content to just get by and blow all his money. I've been keeping our money together, but he's unhappy that way. You might think I should have known this. But, he told me it was something he wanted to change about himself. Turns out, he said he wants to, but can't. (I don't buy that 'can't' bullshit, I believe you can do anything if you want to badly enough!) I can't see a future with someone so different than me, and....it kinda sucks, right?

My company got a new web host for our site. I get all our emails from the site but I havn't gotten many at all in the last few months..all spam. I emailed myself from the site and it returned me as spam. Email from my own company is recognized as spam. I think we are in for a world of fun with this new company.

Enough doom and gloom for one day. So, I'm on the hunt for a part time job again. It was nice having 2 months off. I guess. I enjoyed it while it lasted! Back to having no life, no sleep, and owing the government more money than I can afford to pay. I need something with weekend hours. Know what has weekend hours? The army national guard. I can see how so many people get sucked in to it! They lure you in with promises of becoming an executive chef, (which is apparently a highly respectable job) a $20,000 bonus, and monthly checks. I'm thinking shit! I can get in shape and get paid for it?! Get to look at hot sweaty men all day! Serving food can't be that bad if I go to war, right? Not directly on the front lines. And, with that money I could have a nice down payment on a house, and pay off my car!

There are some sick jobs out there. I watched on Dirty Jobs last night, some disgusting jobs. He actually held an artificial vagina for a horse to have sex with, and collect his sperm. $25,000 sperm! No kidding. People actually do this shit. Then, he inseminated a female horse. He also did this with a pig. These poor animals think their getting it on with a metal stand, and an artificial vagina. What.The.Fuck happened to nature? People are fucking disgusting! It made me feel dirty even knowing that shit was going on! Why isn't this considered beastiality? Your getting an animal off, just because it doesn't get YOU off doesn't make it ok. Ugh. It's totally disturbing! If these guys aren't sticking it to the sow or mare you want them to stick it to, there's a reason for it. Don't fuck with nature. I'm scared to think what our world is going to be like in 20 years.

Totally 80's...

We attended 80's night at the Bier Haus. (Me, Kat, my brother, CP, Tayray, and Todd) It was just as the sign promised...fresh, wet fun! I tried to play 2 games of pool...I got 3 balls in! Yay! CP in true male form had to try to tell me how to play, instead of showing me. So I ignored him. There were contests, and I won a T-shirt from the bar. You had to guess what movies the songs the DJ played were in. I guessed Zanadu. It was the only movie besides Grease I knew Olivia Newton John was in. CP won a Bud Light hat, for knowing the song from Caddy Shack 2. I don't remember what Todd answered to win his prize, but he got a $50 gift certificate to the tattoo joint by our house! Lucky! We played trivia too, they were all movie trivia. I loves the 80's movies!

Kat was in rare form. Decked out in her 80's gear, she actually danced. It's totally unlike her. This is Kat, Me, and Tayray.



There were some drunk girls there that were a blast and they drug us out to 'get footloose' and 'kick off our sunday shoes'. We did the electric slide, and the Cha-Cha. Tayray and Todd were cutting a rug in their own unique fashion. Todd tried to get me to dance to weird science, ummmm you can't really dance to weird science. I told him we needed bra's on our heads, then we'd be cool. We requested Hangin' Tough. Which was awesome.


The DJ had on some bad ass Madonna buttons. And a bunch of others with phrases that were cool from back in the day. Of course, we played Silver Strike bowling. We downed several of the shots of the month, which were Apple and Melon bombs. They tasted like jolly ranchers. Yum.

Before you knew it, it was 2 a.m. and we left the bar. My brother had to drive Kats little miata to my house. We stopped at the Circle K and I snapped a picture of her passed out.



She spent the rest of the night on my bathroom floor, refusing to leave so we could pee, or Derek could shower. She said she needed a towel to 'hug on'. Drunk folks are fun! Me and my brother stayed up and drank at home, and watched the Clerks X anniversary bonus footage, and the world series of Pop Culture. Bed time? 5 a.m. I'm getting too old for this crap! Hey, see ya there, same time next month!

*^&%!@ Monday....

It's way early to already deem a day to be 'fucked' but I'm calling it. I woke up early, to start to get to work on time. Which is something you should all strive to do. I've been 15 min late the past freaking month or so. Even when I get up early, I'm late. Something inevitably happens to fuck up my day. This morning...was no exception. CP had the craps, and hogged the bathroom, so I couldn't have my morning pee, brush my teeth, or wet my hair til he was done, (and it AIRED OUT!)

I didn't have breakfast, my hair wouldn't fix, I forgot and had to grab my yogurt for lunch, then I couldn't find my shoes. My car keys were no where to be found. I had to go back upstairs and look, scream and bitch, and finally I just dug out my spare set. Got in my car and all my radio stations are fucked up! They are set to the set of keys you use to open the car. So I listened to my Korn CD full blast, and even the freaking sound settings were jacked up, bass was at +4.

I got halfway here and realized....I brought my workout clothes, but no shoes. FUCK! What a way to start the week with no workout. And...I was 11 minutes late. My coworker who is always late got in trouble today for being late, and the boss told her she'd talk to me. Doncha just love a Monday? We watched Clerks 2 online last night..so the snippits in my head are getting me thru my shitty morning.

I got a new credit card. Good? Not good! I applied to transfer my balance to 0% interest for 6 months, but they only approved me for $800 less than my total balance so I didn't click thru the online application. It came in the mail. The pretty beach scene card that I requested. So, now I have to transfer the balance and hope to pay off what I can in 6 months. Now...I have 3 credit cards. Bad news!

Can someone tell me how my electric usage is $48 a month, yet my bill is $90-$120? How on earth can the delivery and usage charges come up to more than I actually consume? How is this fair? I am the freaking energy police at home! Why do they feel the need to fuck me with ridiculous charges???? I need to build a solar powered house. Only then someone would claim ownership of the sun and charge bigger delivery charges, cus the suns' so far away.

Customer charge 3.86
Delivery Charge 28.83
Transition Charge 12.95
Generation Related Component 47.63
Transmission Related Component 0.00
Generation Shopping Credit -46.80

Total Charges 46.47

Electric usage charge 43.99
Transmission related component 9.18

Total Electric usage Charges 53.17

Total amount due: 99.64

(p.s. one of my kitties is here today)

Make Me Over.....

Who doesn't love some free shit? I got up with the birds this morning, and skipped my aerobics class to go to a Beauty Party at Bath & Body Works. Freebies are always an acceptable reason to miss a workout. We got some foot stuff, lip stuff, and shampoo for free. They did different makeovers too, me and Kat had our eyes done. I did something different, since I always wear browns and greens. Everyone liked it, but to me it's weird. She used orange!


Nevermind that my eyebrows need done, I'm going to get my hair and brows done in a little bit. I'm getting a couple inches off the hair as it's too long and annoying the shit out of me. Beauty day for me, I'll be a new woman, with no roots. I'm not so sure I'm wearing this look out tonight. I also got a buttload of free Wexler samples, which make your face velvety soft. And of course, I had to get more body butter. They now have them in all the regular bath scents like the Body Shop. We tried all sorts of new things, and had pastries for breakfast. I seriously want this aerosol can of evian water. Laugh if you must, but I used it about 5 times in the store. It feels SO GOOD!

I hide in shame that I bought some eyeshadow for $21 (Nars, 1 color). Product rocks! Bubba didn't go with us, so she missed out on the fact that they mistakenly gave me TWO bags of the free stuff. Yay for me! After that we went to the botique at Dillards, where the things on sale were ridiculously priced. Kat shops there. I told her I couldn't afford to breathe in that store. Ratty old vintage T-shirts were $54....on sale! Regular $94. For a T-shirt. Jeans...$200. I'll stick to Old Navy, and NY & Co...thanks. We went to breakfast to finish off the morning. I need a nap. I live such a rough life.

If It Aint Broke Don't Fix It....

It's funny (not really) when you start to realize that you are changing, as you get older. I woke up coughing at 5am, and peed my underpants, down my legs on the way to the toilet. (I DO MY KEGALS TOO!) I didn't pee the bed though! My Knees crack and grind when I go up/down stairs. Hair grows where it shouldn't, but it's not grey! My breasts have fallen several inches in the past few years, nothing a good bra doesn't hide, but I have to freaking live in a bra and that's no fun! I don't get carded often at the bar anymore, but I am carded for cigarettes from time to time! Ego boost!

Your tastes change too. I never use to like salsa, now I love it. Wouldn't touch guacamole, now, I think it's pretty damn good! Yogurt? No thanks....Now a staple in my frigidare. The latest sign of my aging is my choice in men. I still love the usual hotties, but now I'm takign a liking to guys like...Mike Rowe from dirty jobs. Who, let's face it ladies, he's hot! The past couple of shows, he's been scruffy, and I love me nothing more than a scruffy looking man. A dirty, sweaty, using your hands, man! Yum!

I remember asking my mom once if your taste changed when you got older, because she was doing the online dating thing, sending me pics of old men thinking they were cute! She told me that you still have an eye for attractive men, but what you want for yourself changes. Good thing. Otherwise, I guess I'd still be lusting after 14 year old boys. But I think this might be something that only changes in women. Men, always lust for 14 year old girls. (men would never admit this, so I'll put it this way, they lust after 18 year old girls, that look 14.) I guess it's fabulous that I'm growing up. And becoming more mature. And, just to show that I'm not totally washed up, I still think Ty Pennington, Edwin McCain, Johnny Depp, and Orlando Bloom are hot.

Blog Tour of Homes 2006...

I got this from Hot House Mama, as originated I believe.. by Boo Mama. It looked fun!
Pics of the homestead. Which I rent so it's pretty plain.

My front door:


My Kitchen





Where I spend most of my time in the living room:


This is my downstairs living room basically where the cats live
and CP plays playstation:

This is the bunny room

You Say It's Your Birthday...

So, you know you are no spring chicken, when it takes you two days to recoupe from drinking. We celebrated my brothers 33rd bday on Friday. I didn't even do any shots. Well, one cherry bomb, but that was only 1 shot. My brother on the other hand, had shots bought for him left and right. I had the worst headache, and I felt generally nauseus for two days. And my whole body hurt. I dunno how that happened. Maybe it was because I crawled under the stall door in the bathroom commando style. Yes, I crawled on my stomach on the dirty bathroom floor. I thought it would be hilarious to disassemble an already out of order toilet, and unlock the door, and remove the out of order sign. So funny in fact, that me and Kat fell on the floor laughing....and I peed my pants. Then, peeing my pants made me laugh even more, and pee even more. Instead of throwing away my good Victoria's Secret panties, I thought it was a good idea to wrap them in toilet paper to soak up the pee. The next time I went to the bathroom, I had no idea why my underwear was wrapped in TP. I might be getting too old for this!

This is a first in the my blog, a pic of CP. I only got 1 good one
of him, and I looked like an ass, so since it's my blog, he gets his bad pic posted!

clicky!

My brother gave his birthday cake to some kids, and his balloons. He swore he didn't do it, but me and Kat watched him. Why are there kids in a bar you might ask? Good question. It is a bowling alley but by this time it was around 2 a.m. It's a total redneck thing to do. Kat brought the coconut bra again. Bubba wouldn't wear it, but others did. CP's brother, the DJ even took off his shirt to put it on. (as pictured below) He also kissed my brother, but whatever floats your boat.

Clicky!

We kept tying balloons to my brother, until he agreed to sing karaoke. When they called his name he said "can I take off my balloons now?" Ok, I guess so! Party pooper! He sang people are strange. How appropriate. This is my adorable brother, who is single....and has 2 awesome sisters and a pretty cool mom. Anyone? .....Anyone???

Clicky!

A Rose By Any Other Name....

How hot was it yesterday? So hot, that after my aerobics class (of which only 4 people attended, 2 of us staying for the abs) I squeezed sweat out of my shirt. I was literally dripping with sweat. I also feel much thinner today, I'm sure I lost some serious water weight. You know, I drink 3 liters of water on a normal day, and almost doubled that yesterday. I got this new tank top/sports bra for under my t-shirts that is spose to keep you dry. It worked. But all the sweat was redirected to my arms, neck, and back. I looked Hot. For real.

CP told me yesterday...that he has never seen The Princess Bride. I'm sure there are plenty of people who havn't seen it.....but not from my generation. It's a classic! It's up there with Say Anything, The Breakfast Club, One Crazy Summer (which he has also never seen), and Summer Rental. I dunno What CP was doing in the 80's but it definatly wasn't watching good wholesome movies like me!

A while back at work, the operator paged me twice in a row as Monica Lewinsky. Yes, the homewrecker. Roars of laughter could be heard from the customer service department down the hall. Oh, yes, it was that fucking funny. To everyone else.

My name is very similar to hers. I dunno if she's polish but I am. I think there are only a few letters that differ between hers and mine, just in different order. Same syllables, but not that close if you ask me. Every time I present an ID, or use my debit/credit card, I get that look and often someone brave enough to say.. "ha ha did you know what I thought your name was?" and I say "yes, everyone does". Ha. Ha. Funny. How long ago did that crap happen anyways? Hasn't George Bush been fucking up the country for at least 5 years now? I get it on a daily basis. I wish there was a way I could sue her for having to put up with this shit. Any ideas, please let me know! Skank.

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness...

On an episode of King of Queens, Carrie is scrubbing the oven, and she says to herself "I just love a day off". How true is this for us women? We never REALLY have time off. People who have kids are even more nuts than I had previously thought they were. I spent my time off cleaning. As usual. Not just your ordinary sweeping and organizing. I cleaned the ceiling (cobwebs) and all the walls. Instead of using a wet sponge and bucket and loads of paper towels for this task, I used those Mr. Clean magic erasers. Let me tell you, it was heavenly. The dirt/grime/nicotine came right off the walls. No drips, no scrubbing, magic it was!

I also scrubbed all my cabinets top to bottom. I pledged of my woodwork, and rearranged my kitchen again. All I wanted was a day off to do NOTHING! So, sunday I lounged around all day. Know what I did most of the time I was doing nothing? I felt guilty about doing nothing. I have some sort of inner workings, that never let me rest. Must. Clean. Something. So that lasted until 5:00. Why did I turn out this way?


We moved the faulty a/c out of the house, it leaked so much water we could have filled the tub with it. We got a NEW a/c! It's digital. Keeps the temperature, and has an air purifuier. It's also equipped with a timer, so that it will turn on before I'm home from working out, therefore making me happy, and cool after sweating to death. Nevermind how everywhere we went, was sold out of air conditioners. It was hard to find what we got! (Unless we wanted a $800 beheemoth sized one.) Now, it's like a peice of heaven to be home.

I went to our local hardware store, that has a resident black cat to help you shop, who I spend forever petting. I heard babies crying though....kittens. The lady who works there found them in the street, teeny tiny babies! Needless to say I spent forever at the store cuddling them. Kittens are only the sweetest thing in the universe. Besides bunnies. And puppies. And a million bucks. I bought a hose this weekend too, so now I can spray my plants, vs. carrying gallons of water out all the time. I also killed the freaking slugs and ants feasting on my plants. I can't wait to see all the slimey fuckers guts all over.

We had an awesome time at my brothers party. Got home at 4:30 a.m. It's fun to party like a rock star, but not so fun when it takes you longer to recoup than when you were a young buck. I had no idea it was that late til we got in the car. Hope to have pictures some day. CP's motherboard is fried, so no pictures yet. Member how I dreamt my dad was moving? His house is sold. Stepmonster has left the building. I believe in all that metaphysical stuff. I think he was telling me the house sold!

We rented movies from this joint called Family Video that has to be the stupidest place ever. They lure you in with promises of 1/2 price movies for the first 30 days of a new membership. Only thing is, your only allowed to rent 2 movies the first few times you go in there. And...the rentals are for a whopping 1 day unless you pay an extra buck for another day. I think I'll stick with our usual place, which is also much closer. We got 'V for Vendetta' which was a good movie! I didn't get the ending, or much of the whole reason behind the dude being the vigilante, but it was a good story. Wanna be even more confused? Rent Syriana. Mkay, that movie was like staring at the TV for 3 hours. I didn't get the point behind it. I mean it's spose to be about gas and oil - but really it was just long.

I superglued a nail. Not like me at all. But I'm drinking tons of milk, so my nails are growing ( I dunno if their connected) they never grow. I have been doing a french manicure myself and everyone asks if I get them done. A well spent $6! But now, one broke, so I superglued it. I guess you'd have to see my normal mismatched, half eaten nails to appreciate that this is blogworthy to me.

Expect the Unexpected....

I drove in behind a dodge 4x4 powered by vegetable oil. Sweet. I'd like to get me a vegetable oil car. Dude had a sign on the back saying it was powered by the stuff, with a website and everything. Then he pulled into Speedway. Right up to the pump. What an asshole.

So, with our new found wealth CP suprised me. He came to work yesterday and brought me a dozen roses. It's a first for him, he's gotten some here and there, but not a whole dozen at once! And there was a box. Good things always come in small packages! He got me diamond earrings! Studs! I was just saying a week ago how I needed real diamond studs for my second holes and, he told me I don't get anymore diamonds until our 5 year anniversary. He's full of suprises! I guess I'll keep him. Funny thing is I was just telling Bubba moments before he arrived, that he hadn't done anything romantic in a long time. I guess he is off the hook. *swoon*

I've revoked my support for Janelle on Big Brother 7. I hate her now. She has abandoned her alliance and I don't hate nuthin' more than a lying hoe. Go James!!! If you watch, I'm spoiling it right here, by saying that Danielle is the new HOH. I love people with an online feed. Some day I aspire to watch them 24/7 too! I can't wait to see Janelle go home. She better. That's what she gets for working behind her alliance's back!

I got a new baby gate. This bad boy swings and everything, it's a gate. Let the dog try to knock this over and piss on my clean floors! Except...we need a drill to install it. I'm gonna try to borrow the maintenance guys from work. Not having tools, only gives the man an excuse not to accomplish tasks! My garage door also broke. You can't open it from the outside. CP said he can fix it. We'll see. It's always somethin'! My car does not like being outside. Nor, do I enjoy getting into a hot car.

We have a new kitten at work. It seems we always have kittens. Last year, I fed this litter canned food all the time. They were feral. I picked one up and I got bit. Little shits! The new one is orange and white and a tabby, with blue eyes. She's beautiful! We dunno if its a boy or girl cus she is afraid of us still. This morning on break, Lynn gave her some turkey. I loves me a kitten. Too bad I have 4 cats. Sigh. We'll take care of it at work though, it's our destiny.

Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999. I was 23 in 1999. And I just got divorced. Watch out world!!! We are going to kickit at the BOWLING ALLEY! Be jealous! It's my brother's hang out, and theres karaoke. I may be good at Silverstrike bowling (high score 169) but regular bowling, I am no prodigy at. I'm getting my brother a cake, and Kat's getting balloons.

Momma Needs A New Pair Of Shoes!...

Happy Birthday to my brother. Who is 33 I think. He's older anyways, so sucks to be him! We're going out Friday to celebrate.

The end of the day yesterday, CP called me.

Him: I love you honey
Me: What do you want?

Him: What do YOU want?
Me: I can't really say while I'm at work

Him: Well what do you want materialistacally (sp??)
Me: Money

Him: How much?
Me: A couple hundred

Him: It's yours!
Me: What?

Him: I won the lottery!
Me: Whatever, are you serious?

Turns out, he won a settlement with an amusement park, because he hurt his back on a ride, and that started his whole drug addiction, BS that we went through. It happened way before we met, but I did push him to get a lawyer! We forgot all about it! It's more money than either of us has had all at once in cash! Not a huge amount, but a lot! He dropped each bill on my lap, and then we had fun fanning it out, and tossing it in the air, and stacking and holding it. Funny how money does that. It's just paper! Do you take....CASH? Cha Ching!!

We need to pay bills and pad the bank account! Can I just say that he is WAY more generous than I am? I give him a hard time loaning him $20! I'm such a bitch! He gave me a big chunk because I paid all the bills while he was off work last winter. Hell yea! And he's fixing the computer, getting his liscense tags, and we are buying a new air conditioner. The one we have now works great, except it spits mist out constantly, which is probably a fire hazard. He didn't give me a hard time about putting it in my bank account either. He really suprised me. I thought he'd want to blow it all in one night.

We went to the Goodwill with our riches, cus that's how CP rolls, and he bought some new shorts. He's been wearing size 38, and he is now a 32 mkay? He looks so cute in fitting clothes that a woman has picked out, and some other man has worn. We ate at our favorite ice cream joint, and got ice cream. Mosied on into the tattoo parlor to talk to the guy there that is known for doing cover ups. I have a Hello Kitty on my foot that I let a friend's husband do, that I want covered up. I'm thinking a flower, or a dragonfly....can't decide.

The sad thing is, CP said to spend $100 on something frivolous for myself. I thought of a million things I could get, none of them fun. I'm not allowed to get my hair done. So, I have to sport my roots til pay day. Fun? Everything fun for me is in the house, when did that happen? I am thinking a steam vac, or a new sweeper. I wanted to get an ipod but the one I want is more than $100 so what's the point? Yes....I'm now a responsible 30 year old. I can't just spend money on things I don't need. Seriously, I hate that about me! That's why he wants me to do it in the first place.

My Polish Eyes Are Smiling.....

So, this is the picture that I talked about being horrid with, that shows my wrinkles and freckles. I'm easier in small incriments, but I never said I was easy, did I?

You can also see the hole from my eyebrow ring. I never realized that was so noticeable. I bring this up so that in a couple of weeks, when My lines are gone, I can post another picture. Keep your fingers crossed!

And by a vote, what color are my eyes? I always say they are green. CP says they are hazel, but what the fuck does he know? My Momma has green eyes too. (nevermind that they are slightly bloodshot)

CP found out yesterday that he got his new job!! He will start the 14th, and turned in his notice this morning. I'm really nervous for him, but it'll be a good move in the end. He'll have a steady pay, set hours, 401k, and better benefits. The downside is that he will be working third shift. I'm sure we'll manage. The biggest problem I forsee is him messing up the GD house and leaving it for me to deal with. I'll be shocked if this doesn't happen. Otherwise, I'm perfectly fine with being alone thru the week. I enjoy my company. I'm a pretty cool chick.

My ex called me again yesterday. I think it's kinda funny, that he claims to be so happy, yet, keeps calling me. He wants to get together in the biblical sense. I told him when I was single it was a different story. You know what else? I'd kill CP if he let his ex call him like Z calls me. Total double standard with me. I have never understood my relationship with Z...together and broken up, and I don't know that I ever will. It's like he has mind control over me. Or maybe it's something deeper? I refuse to let my mind wander there though! Ever had someone like that? That never seemed to go away? There are a lot of things about him that I do miss, but more that I DON'T!

Then.... my CP just called and asked how the love of his life, and the light of his eye was. It's a sign. He wanted to tell me that he apperciates me and all that I do at home. And the fact that I'm still with him. We do that sorta thing.

Drunks say the darndest things....

I found a napkin I wrote on last Thursday while CP was pretending he was on Star Search at the bar. Apparently he tried to hide this shit from me. There is a reason I take blog notes!

He tried to get me to marry him in 2 weeks. He said now that he is going to have a better job, can we set a wedding date? We've been putting it off every time it comes up. Because we need better stability first.

Him: This Fall?
Me: I need a year to plan it!

Him: Next June?
Me: Too hot!!!!!

Him: Next September?
Me: I already got married in September, that's bad Karma!

Him: Next August?
Me: AUGUST???

Him: you're just making excuses now. What about the spring?
Me: Too soon!

Him: Let's get married next week.
Me: yea, ok, we need to get a marriage liscense first.

Him: We can get one in a week
Me: Obviously, you're drunk.

The conversation turned to sex as they usually do when alchohol is involved. CP is sooooo not the typical man. He started it out by telling me:
"You know how when you are drunk you tell the truth?"....

Him: "I don't understand why you don't just let me give you an orgasm every night"
Me: "Wont let you?!"

Him: "I mean, don't worry about me, or doing anything for me, just enjoy yourself"
Me: "I do enjoy it"

Him: "I know but you are always concerned with making me happy and I just want you to get off and not worry about me"

(translation: oral sex for me, and nothing for him!)

Me: "Because I enjoy the cock"

Him: "But I'm good with once a week, why don't you let me and not worry about me, and then you'd get it way more often"
Me: "Are you seriously trying to talk me into not pleasuring you, and only let you service me? You're so not the typical man!"

Him: "YES!!"

Of course, now he claims never to have said this, and swears that once a week isn't enough, he just meant he could get by with that. I told him, he told me when he was drunk...it MUST be the truth! He also asked me if he could ask this handicapped woman to have a threesome with us. She sat in her wheelchair by herself all night, she was just a little woman. I said I felt bad for her cus she was there alone, and no one was talking to her. So, that was his solution.

Now, I understand that there are probably millions of women who receive no oral pleasure, who would be in heaven with that conversation. I do love it, don't get me wrong, but I'm a straight woman, so I enjoy having some dick as well, sue me!!! I'm not use to it at all. I've gone from relationships based on sex, to one where the sex is secondary. (to the man. not me!) I'm kinda lost. It's what I'm good at. I'm not good at the emotional crap at all.

Sometimes I think CP is a woman, who had a sex change operation. Like in that awesome movie with the chick from Desperate Housewives 'TransAmerica'...only in reverse. Seriously. But would that make me gay? Of course I'm kidding. A little. About the gay part.