This Is My Country..

I'm thinking of starting my own country. This might have to take priority over inventing teleportation, but once I establish said country, I'll have all the time in the world for inventing things. Even an air bra. And....paperclips that don't tangle. In my country, I'll spend all my time working on inventing things. And, stealing pets from other countries. With all my horses I won't need gas. Who needs heat? That's why the universe gave us men. And animals. To keep us warm and safe! (maybe some other stuff too...the men part, not the animals, perv.)

I don't mind if my whole country is made up of cats and dogs because they wont complain. They wont spend my money either. I wont even need money, we can pay each other with pets. If you really want to give up fluffy, you know you can't live without it. What a great way to live within our means.

In my country if you don't work you get kicked out. You have to laugh. You can't be some religious fanatic, keep it to yourself or you're gone. I'll make MSG illegal, along with high fructose corn syrup, even if the corn council says its good. I'm tired of working out so much.

Honestly...Why can't we all send $5 to the government? On our tax return. Instead of donating $1 to the election (which..... screw that mess) we can donate $5 to the government. Why do I have to be taxed even more for someone elses fuck up? What about all the billions of dollars in pennies we are all squirrling away. I should start a penny drive for America. Watch out fame and fortune, here I come. (see, I'm doing it for my own selfish reasons...)

Does it make me old that I am excited to watch the VP debate tonight? Or, does it make me evil because I am only watching to see Sara Palin make a total ass of herself? Anyone? Anyone?

I rode 11 miles on the bike yesterday. Which isn't really far on a bike. It was only 45 minutes. Today, my freaking back hurts. You just can't win. However, my knees aren't killing me, cus I started taking glucosamine. My Momma told me to.

And I dreamt the other night I had a penis on my ass. No, a boy didn't put it there, it was growing out of my ass cheek. I pulled it off, and it was like a wacky wall crawler penis. I didn't take the liberty of analyzing that one.