"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Love and Marriage...

You've been to Post Secret before, right? You know, where you anonymousely send in your secrets so you can feel better about yourself, and your trampy dirty secrets? Or, the fact that you wipe your boogers on your husbands pillow or something. This one pictured here, from this Sunday struck me particularly hard. I always read comments from people who wonder if the secrets are meant for them. I don't think this is meant for me, I don't have a work spouse, but I know someone who does.

Do you have an opinion on having a person you work with that you consider to be so close, they are a "work spouse"? Do you find this can be dangerous, and asking for trouble? From a girls perspective, I think it's crap. I know how we operate. We over analyze things. He said this or that, I think he likes me..... I know all about how girls can strategically make the wife mad at the husband, by over stepping their boundries and pissing the wife off.....only to swoop in and act so much better than the wife. "I'd never do/say that to you, your wife must be insecure". Thus putting a wedge between the real husband and wife.

It's one thing if the work spouse respects that you are in fact married in "real life" (or in a super relationship..) and doesn't cross certain boundries. You know, like maybe giving them a pet name? For some reason this seems really shitty to me.

Sure, my ex husband cheated on me with people from work. Perhaps it's the reason this is bothering me. Perhaps it's something else. Either way, I'm a girl, and I have been my whole life. I know what canniving, bitches they can be. I use to be queen of the unstable, insecure, crazy club. I can't explain how hard it is for me to keep this work spouse thing under wraps, and not let it consume my every thought. You may think you have some baggage packed away until something forces it out of the closet. Makes you deal with it all over again. The main thing to remember is that I packed those bags, and I'm the only one who can unpack them.

How do you feel about work spouses?

P.S. One thing I read about soul groups, and twin souls is that they bring out all your "crap" and make you deal with it.....isn't that romantic? People have a very blurred vision of what "soul mates" really are. Be careful what you wish for.


Alexa said...

see i think of this (work spouses) kind of like having an emotional affair - which can sometimes be worse as just a someone cheating on their significant other by having a random one night stand.

ps your ex husband is an ass : )

Steve Stenzel said...

I think my wife has a work spouse, but it's a woman, so I'm OK with it!!


Anonymous said...

Work spouses? Well it really depends. The work spouse has to be ugly or it can cause serious problems. Of course who wants a work spouse who is ugly. Then what is the point. I have several male friends at work and they are important to me because they really understand my job and the insanity that is a part of academia. They understand a part of my life that my husband doesn't. The bottom line is the relationship with the work spouse doesn't work if it goes to far.


babylamb said...

I thought is was normal to have work spouses. Shoot your with them more then your real spouse.
At my last job I had 2. Now don't worry nothing ever happened they were just really great guys and they were both married too and the wives and I got along too.