CRUNCHING NUMBERS...

Well, in honor of my brother costing me a fortune. And, my ongoing effort to consolidate into one job, I had to downgrade my cable. Again. For a savings of $20 a month, I get the regular channels. Not regular as in lifetime, and TBS, regular as in ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX. Oh, I also get God TV. I know you're jealous don't pretend you aren't. If you want, I could Tivo some for you. Seriously, I get 40 channels. No one I know only gets 40 channels. I am honestly choking back tears thinking about this. Don't laugh. I'm totally serious! It's my one luxury! The sad part is that Tivo records dead air on all my favorite programs because I refuse to delete them off my season pass. Some day, I'll grow up and have my channels back. I will miss you:
The Real World
Mind Control with Darren Brown
Criss Angel Mind Freak
Flipping Out
The Parker
Flip This House
Gene Simmons Family Jewels
The Two Coreys
Scott Baio is 45 and Single
Ghost Hunters
Intervention
Dog Whisperer
It's Me or The Dog
Rock of Love...I think I'll miss you most of all!
and about 25 other shows, I can no longer record!

You may or may not wonder, why I always complain about being poor. Well, I use to make $9,000 more a year at my previous full-time job. Plus, I made $18 grand a year at my second job. Then, I got $460 tax free dollars in rent from the ex. Which is practically a millionaire if you take into consideration last year after I paid my bills, I had 1400 a month left . See why I'm hating life? Boy, those were the days. It's suprising, I didn't do more with that money. Like, pay off my fucking credit cards. Go on a trip. I did however, carry a balance of a grand in the bank. And, I had a lot of shopping days at Bath and Body. I always had my hair done. And my pets were happy. *sigh*

I'm thinking I need to get a new car. I'm sure that I can get a newer car, for less a month. I have a fucking 19% interest rate on that loan! You tell me internets, should I keep the car, for 1 year and 3 months and never afford anything until it's paid off, or save instantly, not have to pay a payment for a month, and save around $50 a month in a payment. $50/mo a loooooootta money to poor girls. I can also save $40 a month getting rid of my brother, in electric. Another $40 if I didn't have to pay his phone bill. That fucker is costing me $80 in bills alone! Asshole!

I watched an episode of Intervention where a girl was a prostitute. I seriously pondered how much she must make to afford to do crack 10 times a day. Can you really make money as a prostitute? I guess I don't need any more problems. I'd wind up being a crack whore to numb the pain. *sigh* Nevermind.

I know there are people worse off than me. I mean, I do have a nice home. A nice car. Decent things. But, I'm just tired of struggling. Maybe it isn't such a bad idea to try to find a cheaper place to live. Closer to work. (current travel time 30 min one way) I just like living 'in the country'. It's peaceful. I can have fires. And I don't have to have a stupid E-check. Which you may or may not know, is where they hook up your car to a machine and charge you money to run the shit out of it. Then you can't renew your tags until it passes. I suppose there is one other county I could move and still skip the E check, and be closer to work. Only, those we don't speak of (the ex) lives there.

Maybe it also makes more sense why I desperatly wanted CP to be a good roomate. I'm fucking poor. I sooooo wish I could win the lottery. Then I could go to all the banks, and credit card companies that turned me down, and charge me out the ass, a-la pretty woman style, and flash my money and leave. Yea, if dreams really came true, that's how I'd want it to go down.