"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Friday, February 27, 2009

I told you facebook sucked....

No weight loss this week. No gain either. So, I'm happy. I bought new jeans (the sweetheart, because my flirt jeans seem to be missing somewhere at the manfriends) and my size is loose. The next size down I can barely pull up my thighs. What gives? Gawd! When I win the lotto and have my island, I'm going to invent my own clothing line. The cat's meow. Or, something equally cat like.

So, three of my friends, not to mention a bunch of my myspace friends are all like, you gotta join facebook. I'm like, they tossed me off for using "nonyobiznass" as my last name. How dumb is that? Just deleted my account! I don't like having to use my last name. Why? People find you. On myspace, they can find me by school or something, but not my last name! But I gave in, and created an account. Because I dont like to be left out. What happened?

The next day I have a message in my email. From my ex husband. "Hey, what's up, how are you doing, good here thanks for asking." He isn' t a friend, just sent a message.

I told you facebook was a bad idea.

I'm pretty much sick of having aches and pains. I have the worst neck pain. Why? I fell asleep weird on the couch the other day watching Graham Norton. Forget the fact that I workout all the stinking time, And could probably outrun most people I know as far as endurance (not speed) and I hurt myself sleeping. Being completely motionless. Whatever.

I saw my manfriend last night and despite him working an extra shift today he still came to see me. He's the sweetest, and I love love love waking up with him. It put me in a great mood for work, even if I got up at 5:30. (I normally get up about 7:15)

I took a personality test here. This is my result.
100% Energy from within
86% Present-moment focused
71% Decisions based on facts
71% Decisive planner

This means your personality type is 'The logical Assessor'. You are a realistic, steady, stable person and a supporter of society-strengthening laws, rules, systems and protocols in the here-and-now. Socially, you may come across as quiet and confident, but your friends know that you can be the life of the party when you feel like it, and you have a fun silly side as well! Others really enjoy your company.

I couldn't put it better myself.

P.S. My sis had to put one of her cats to sleep last night =( my kitties miss their cousin!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Incognito, sort of...

I figure, I can post this picture, since technically we have masks on, right? It's me and the manfriend. My mask was pretty awesome, Kat got it in Venice. She kinda sucks for going but whatever, she got me a cool mask and a spoon from Austria, so I have to let her off the hook.

You can't however, see the necklace I scammed from the party that was mardi gras beads, with two turtles humping. Humping turtles are awesome. I'll make sure they are more visible at this weekends mardi gras party. My solem vow.

The manfriend, reminded me of these firey things from the Labryinth. Didn't that movie rock?

You know what is super nice? To wake up with someone and they tell you how cute you are first thing in the morning. Who feels cute in the morning? Cute enough to breath your morning breath on someone and maybe, you know....have some hanky panky? Slober and all? That is love. Mixed with lust!

I have to leave work early to truck it to Planned Parenthood. I swear I help keep Ohio's youth in condoms with all the time and money I spend there. They refuse to send me more than 1 month birth control at a time. I found out after 6 months, its cus I owe money. $50. Have they billed me? No. How about sending me a bill? I am all for my right to privacy but I mark on all my forms that they can send me things and call me. My MOMMMMMMEEEEE wont find out and ground me. So, when I reorder my pills, a week after receiving my last one (which is totally retarded and a waste of time and postage!) it takes them a month to send my script, and I don't receive it, and I wind up having to drive the 30 miles from work to pick it up.

I do have insurance now, and I can go to a real dr., and get a real live script and have it filled at an actual pharmacy where they dispense all sorts of medications usually until 9pm at many convenient locations close to home. But they wont write me a script at Planned Parenthood. I think they get those canadian drugs or they get a discount on how many people they dispense medication to? (I dunno, speculation) So I'd have to go have another pelvic exam at the real gyno. And while I'm sure they would use better equipment, and give me a real gown to wear.. Who wants to be violated twice in a year? At least....in THAT way? Not me. No thank you!

I havn't given up on the lottery. The universe wants me to have more money, so it keeps me baited. Now, it's like 170 million. I could afford two islands with all that money!

And now, the rest is about Lost...........

Holey crap John Locke is alive! I kinda knew he would be, but you never know! Who the hell are those other people on the island with them? They seem to know something. And, Cesar said to Jack last week before boarding "sorry about your friend".

Ben is truely evil. Or is he? That's the catch, you don't know what the hell to believe. Is Charles the bad guy, or Ben? Ben did kill Locke, but, maybe he knew he had to die to come back to life, and "feel" he is special. John didn't believe he was that special, obviously he was gonna off himself!

Where is everyone else on the island? I hope they reunite w/Sawyer and the rest next week!

What the heck blew your mind?

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Eff The Effing Lottery...

Rather than an Oscar Meyer Weiner (euw!) I'd love to be a turkey burger. My new favorite lunch or dinner, is turkey burger, and half a can of harvest select light southwestern veggie soup, which is a mere 50 calories. (100 calories for the whole can) If you eat soup before you eat a turkey burger, your totally stuffed! That meal is 410 calories. Usually less calories, but I had to get Butterball turkey burgers, cus Jenni-o is only available at this discount store I don't frequent. Even less, if I opt the extra buck for the weight watchers bread, its 380.

That totally sounded like an infomercial or something.

What doesn't make me happy about weight loss, is that I keep getting more cellulite. Now I have heard that models have it. When I weighed 63lbs more (plug!) I didn't have it. It's not fair!

Guess what Kat told me last night? Our reunion is this weekend. Imagine that with the talk of graduating in 1998. (which, I didn't I graduated in 1994, thus the reason it was funny...)
Fif. Teen. Years. Yes, 15. Can it really be that long? I can hardly believe it myself. It's also Heather's birthday party, but that starts at four. (yes...4:00) So we'll have plenty of time to make it to another party. I invited the manfriend, and another couple as well, since its at the bar, and probably nothing more than people from school drinking. My kinda gig! Plus, anything I do with my manfriend is fun. I dunno if you know this, but I'm kinda nuts about him, and he makes me all goofey inside. Like, this.

I have no idea what's going on, as I don't have a facebook since they kicked me off, and I'm not that keen on getting back on the bandwagon. I was also the last to join myspace so, we'll see. I blog, I twitter, I myspace, isn't that enough?

P.S. In case you didn't guess...I didn't win the freaking lottery. Again.

P.S.S. The more I watch the Price is Right, the more I think the whole thing is fixed. No one is that lucky.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

How I Didn't Win The Lotto....

I'm all about how things line up and *gasp* it's meant to be! So, on Friday it was the mega millions drawing. I didn't know. I don't pay attention. I was at work until almost 7, working for free on the stupid up-coming meetings. Counting out packets of info I had stapeled together (by hand, because if you work in an office you know that the copiers never work, and you especially can't use the staple feature....right?) I had to make 200 sets of all this stupid info. And I counted them out into sets of 10, because it's easier to count in 10's. So, 20 sets of 10 is 200. (cookie?)

After I slaved away making stupid recruiting packets, I stopped to buy some cancer sticks, where I paid by bank card, and the woman at the circle K said..."would you like to buy a mega millions ticket" I said I don't have cash. She says "not even quarters?" And I said well, I may have dimes and nickels.

So I counted out exactly 10 dimes. I had 10 dimes. Ten. As in I was counting packets of 10 for hours at work. It's a sign! What's better? Two of the numbers on the auto pick are my birthday. 12, 14.

I started spending the millions in my mind. (This is where I buy an island and move away and charge people to visit me, cus I might be rich but I don't like free loaders, right?) I swear, this is like the 5th time I have in my gut felt I was going to win big.




However, no one won, and now its 140 million today, and I have a $1 bill with a CAT stamped on it. It's totally meant to be! I'm buying a bed! And new glasses and contacts! I have insurance now, but since I pay for insurance I still cant really afford to go to the dr. It's a viscious cycle.

Yesterday I had to workout in my push up bra. I didn't pack a sports bra. Want to talk about uncomfortable? It's also almost my time of the month, so the girls didn't appreciate being jostled around like that. Ow. What's worse, I had to wear a sweaty bra all day long. But I still worked out. That's the moral of my story.

Oh, this weekend at the manfriends party a girl mentioned having graduated in 2000. Then said to the rest of us, what did you graduate in 98?

And, I've decided (erin) to put the second job thing on hold, at least to see how much money I bring in from this new stimulus tax cut. (you know, I'm openly laughing about this....)

Monday, February 23, 2009

Back Story...

So on friday I mentioned how my ex of 8 years was calling me. I don't know, but it seems like I'm the only person I know, who is routinely stalked by her exes. I mean, the ex husband came back around for a while. The ex fiance still calls me and I ignore him. The ex booty call still texts me from time to time, and this ex bf, Z, has been the longest. I tell them all to stop. So I'm on ignore mode.

It is a nice ego boost, because what they all tell me is how fabulous I am and how stupid they were for letting me go. Like I didn't know that. I've learned my own worth, on my own, without them. But there comes a point when it's time to move on. I don't still hate them for treating me like crap. I've taken the responsibility for allowing it, and moved on. Unpacked those bags. I have no desire to rekindle anything, because anything we had was built on lies.

Our relationship wasn't roses. It was turd sandwhiches at best. He was my first boyfriend after I was separated from my ex husband. So, he was equally as abusive, and I thought it was ok. Only, he was also mentally insane. He would lock me in the house with deadbolts, there was no lock, just a key. He claimed he forgot to leave the key if I called to tell him what he did. If I was on the computer and he called, he came right home. He was more derogatory to me than my ex husband. My ex husband actually went to school with him and he felt the need to protect me from him. Imagine that one. Who's worse?

Turns out he was cheating on me, and eventually I cheated on him. It was my one and only time in my life for cheating. It was hard to get away from him, and with the help of a good friend, I finally did, and got out on my own. I stayed in contact with him for a while after we "broke up". He would stop over from time to time too. He hated that I had a boyfriend, even though he had a girlfriend and drove her car to my house. (he never had anything of his own)

He put a note under my bed once when he was over. Stating that he and I were having relations. Then he called my answering machine when my new boyfriend was there and proceeded to say to check under my bed cus he was in it with me.

I told you he was insane. He also cut himself in front of me several times for no reason other than he is insane. I can't talk to him because last we spoke, he knew I was happily in love with the manfriend. I don't know that he would try to sabotage me again, but crazy is as crazy does, and I don't need the drama. Period.

I certainly don't miss those days.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Hole in the Head....

Do you watch Ellen? Have you seen the studio cat? I just love it! It's been sneaking in at night and caught on the webcam. So she put out a cat condo and food, and now its kitty watch 2009. I just love it!

Someone lost 63 lbs. Who? Me! I do feel better after having invested in more meat. Now I have it for more than just breakfast, I've been having a turkey burger for lunch.

I welcome the weekend. I have had the shittiest week at work. I had a meeting with my boss and she said..."welcome to management". Does that sum it up? You know, everythings your fault, and lies on your shoulders. You have to work over for free and finish projects. Take the flack! I also have to do reviews. And, I have to do 120 for field employees. It's annoying. The people who need that 120 reviews (I enter the statistical information) have harassed me each and every single day.

Then, there is the guy from the other day that was demoted into a position where now I basically give or dont give him the information he needs. And, he seems to think I'm on a power trip, when I am simply restricted in what information I can give him in his new position. He picked two fights with me. He told my boss I am difficult. And we can't communicate. Funny thing is he started shit with me in front of my department. Hello, witnesses? My boss said she told him she knows I didn't argue with him because that isn't me, and eventually told him to get out of her office. He is confrontational. She said she'd have to take this to her boss, and if he wants to talk to me again, to call her into his office with us. Which will make me look bad. It's a huge mess. Yesterday he was sweet as pie to me.

My ex Z called today. I don't know, it's been months since we even talked. I got several private calls and the vm said it was him and to pick up the phone. Excuse me? I didn't. The days of him bossing me around are over. So, Broke up like, 8 years, and he still calls me? I think I'm his one that got away. He's the one I escaped from.

I didn't get to see my manfriend yesterday. This never gets any easier. And I have to think that he loves me and misses me and wants to be with me, but the only way to make that any easier is something he isn't willing to do. I want to buy a house in the next year or so, so I have pretty much stopped looking for apartments. I'm tired of moving. I've moved 9 times since I've been 18. That's almost every year. Almost.

I ordered my credit reports, and I actually have pretty good credit! All the derogatory things, and the bankruptcy, reposession, and forecloseure, are all gone. Gone. I have two things (medical) that are in collections, which I'm going to pay off, and be free and clear, other than two credit cards and a car payment. Hello? Awesome.

I actually thought yesterday about getting another second job so I can save up for a down payment. I think I am sick in the head. I have had almost 1 full year off out of the past five, not working two jobs, and I want to do it again? Obviously I'm lonley. Or crazy. Or stupid. Or determined. Yes....I think I choose to be determined. I want what I want, and no one will give it to me, I have to make it happen.

Universe? I want a house! For me and my menagerie! A manfriend would be nice too, but I don't want to be greedy.

Anyone watch Grey's Anatomy? Ugh, that husband and wife made me cry. Love is a crazy thing. It is fantastic, until someone dies. I can't imagine losing someone you love that much. It makes me tear up thinking about it.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

I wanna new Bed....

Last week on Oprah, she had Valentine's suprises. There was this one guy who was going to propose during the superbowl, by buying a 2 million dollar television spot. Only, who has 2 million dollars? He started a website, to raise money, and even got some news coverage, in shadow, with a disguised voice of course. All while his girlfriend had no idea.

So, his website raised 10 grand, not enough for the superbowl. He ended up raising enough for a commercial on the CW during his girlfriend's favorite show, Veronica Mars. This was the commercial. It also shows her reaction. How cute is that? Pretty darn cute! On Oprah she was like "I like to have the remote during my show, and they kept taking it from me, the show was like 10 seconds behind and I wanted to fast forward it"

I could so see myself doing something jacked up like that. Me and my Tivo. I can relate. Watching Lost, on at least a 15 minute delay, as to avoid commercials, and fast forwarding, hardly able to stand the wait until it's back on. I'd surely screw up a super proposal. But, I'm not even living with my manfriend, so I can watch Lost however I want.

If he can get 10 grand for a proposal. Surely I can get a few hundred for a new bed. I'm going to come up with a website, Obama said we should all help each other. And I'm going to get it done. He didn't say if we should do the helping, or be the helpee. But, I'd give $1 if someone needed a new bed.

Or maybe itll just be a blog cus websites take time, and I don't even have a home computer as it's still at my manfriends after being fixed, it is now jacked up again. Maybe I should do a dual Bed/Computer blog begging for 25 cents or something.

Or, does anyone want to just adopt me, and buy me things? And not expect sex or anything gross in return?

So, I'm going to eat more meat and see if that works for my exhaustion. I think I've been thru this before. But the fact that I'm so tired, makes my brain not work.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Happiness Is...

I had a shitty Tuesday at work. I could get into the overly exciting story, about how it seems that I am taking the shit for everyone at work latley, and I have no time to even pee or poo, but I wont.

But smack dab in the middle of my crappy day....Heather emailed me a picture of the ex husband, and his new wife, aka baby momma. Now, I had seen a half assed photo of her before. I know some about her because the girl who does my hair, runs with my ex husbands crowd sometimes. (don't I sound old?)

It's satisfying to see he is with some skanky looking hoe. And that they fight like we did, and break things and throw stuff at each other. Good to know that his life hasnt changed any, in 10 years, but add to that having three children all by different girls. Where am I, oh yes.. I'm in such a happy place in life, and I don't have the hate and the drama anymore.No abuse. I don't have the jealous rages. The constant arguing. Name calling. Tearing me down. Spying, begging, and anything else that comes with a shitty relationship. That's satisfying enough, just knowing how happy I am.

But the best part? Is seeing that he is a big fat tub of lard. Mostly because he always liked to call me fat. And look what happens? Karma gets you. I'm healthy, and working out, and I look better than I did even 10 years ago...and looks like he might pop. I love the universe. All you have to do is truck along and do the right thing, and assholes take care of themselves. I never had to do a thing, he made his own messes, and I'm still a fun, happy, positive girl with no drama in her life. I have a spectacular manfriend that fills me with happy rather than sad, and he treats me like gold! It's funny how things happen.

Add to that at the end of the day this conversation happened:

Coworker to me: "Well, you may remember, but I'm sure youre younger than me, I'm 27"
Me: "Why...thank you, I happen to be 33"

I still got it.

Did you hear about this Chimp attack? The 911 call made me really sad. I couldn't imagine.

Here's the thing though, I didn't know monkeys ate steak and lobsters? Who gave him a taste for meat? I thought they ate leaves and bananas? And xanax? Tea? For pete's sake!

Please, don't let me be a crazy old lady with that has a bobcat, or a leopard cus they are cute.


Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Working Out Is Hard to Do...

As I was in the shower after working out on my lunch hour yesterday.....I said out loud to myself "self, you work out hard". No one could ever accuse me of being a slacker. I'm always pushing myself. If I feel like something is easy, I do it on a deeper incline, or faster. If I'm bored, I flip between The View, and The Price is Right, change it up a bit. I am so exhausted after I work out, I'm not just tired, I'm dripping with sweat, I sweat thru my pants and shirt, my socks are wet, my hair is dripping down to the tips, and I feel like I could sleep for days.

Which I really could do. I don't get it because exercise is suppose to give you energy. Yet, the past few weeks, I'm the walking dead. It could be due to the fact that I often give in to being tired and fall asleep watching TV at home, and then I'm up til 2 am sweeping, and taking a bath, and cooking the next days breakfast and lunch. I don't have much structure where sleep is concerned. I think I solved my own problem.

At the gym, there is the guy who drops the weights cus he's too much a pussy to put them down, cus you know that takes muscle. (I dont care why they do it, I care that it scares the shit out of me while I'm jogging) now we have a girl, who deems the weight on the machine too heavy, so instead of taking them off one by one she slides them off the bar to the ground BOOM!!! BOOM!!!! BOOM!!!!! I always yell "JESUS CHRIST". Becaue nothing pisses people off more than using their lords name in vain. On top of that, now, there is a woman who instead of taking advantage of the fact that we have four shower stalls, takes a bath in the sink with paper towels, while I am blow drying my hair right next to her. The pits...the um.....yea. It's just gross.

I work with these people, in my eyes it makes everything worse! Who wants to be the one that is pointed at, "she washes her hoo ha in the sink"

I was at work until 7 last night. I think bootcamp is on hold until March because of being so busy at work, having a new girl, and a hug-ginormous meeting next week. I'm going to be working extra over the next week and a half. I'm not so sure about new new girl yet. She has no sense of urgency. Instilling one is proving to be a challenge. On the upside, old new girl is like my shining star. She's doing everything she can to help, and doing it right. It's amazing! I must have done something right there.

Monday, February 16, 2009

The Thirteenth...Heart Pounding Fun..

Nice Crappy camera phone picture. Friday, Heather and me went to see Friday the Thirteenth. On Friday the Thirteenth. Her BF got us tickets around 4 so our 7:05 movie time was guaranteed. The line outside went on forever. We acted like VIP's flashing our presale ticket and heading to the front of the line. Sucks to be those guys.

This picture was actually taken at 9pm after the movie, the 9pm show was even more packed. Why? Cus the movie freaking rocked! I'm a horror fanatic. It's my favorite genre. Of course I like the classics, Friday the 13th's (except for X, which was a waste of a movie) Elm streets, Chainsaw Massacre, Hills have Eyes, and Amityville horror. Most of these, have been remade. Each time, I'd bitch and moan because you just can't redo the classics. While I enjoy the classics, they don't scare me as an adult. The best part of these is that you watch them when you are young, and get the poo scared out of you.

This, like the other above remakes, was pretty good. I was shocked at all the kids at the movie. I wasn't even allowed to see Purple Rain! These kids were seeing tits and ass, and sex, and marijuana use, and cursing, and machetes to the head boooooyaaaaah! Oh, and they even show the poonaner via a hustler magazine photo. Yea. Poon!

In the first ten minutes, you're like, oh, I know how this goes.... but you don't. And then when the title flashed the screen after the opener..the whole place clapped and cheered. Awesome! I love a great movie opening night!!! I can say that there is one guy the whole movie you can't wait until he gets his nads chopped off or something equally as horrible. My only complaint is that his death wasn't more violent. But he does scream like a girl.
The death scenes? Awesome. As expected. I am not a die hard, who is all pissed off that they didn't use the original Jason, because let's face it. He's big, and always one step behind you. Not much criteria needed. I can't say enough about how much I loved this flick, other than I cannot wait to see it again! If you are a fan of the originals, you will appreciate this one. I wanted to hate it, I really did. (On another note, I am pretty sure I'm going to hate the Nightmare remake, because....unlike Jason, Freddy can't be played by anyone but Robert Englund, and Billy Bob? Get real)

Even more awesome? The previews for this movie A Haunting in Connecticut. I saw the TRUE STORY of this on that show A Haunting. Creepy! That's the kind of movie that creeps me out.
For Valentine's, my manfriend made me dinner! He made chicken alfredo, and we had cocktails and wine and champagne. I harassed him while he was trying to cook cus, I happen to be in lust as much as I am love with the boy. So, I didn't keep my hands to myself until I got what I wanted. Dinner was delicious!
It's pretty awesome to have a manfriend that is always nice to you, and therefore, the day is just another day to be in love. We went to a PJ party at a bar down the road for like half an hour. Where some skank in skanky clothes she shouldnt have been wearing tried to pick up my manfriend. On Valentine's day. She just had a cheesy line like, asking me his name. I said my boyfriend? And then after that asking him if she knew him from Outback Steakhouse. Stupid bitch should learn some better moves.

Friday, February 13, 2009


Are you excited for Valentine's Day? I don't have plans. I didn't make any. And, I'm guessing neither did the manfriend since he didn't mention it. He is my Valentine all the time, but you know how girls are. On the other hand I don't have much of a desire to go out and wait for 3 hours to eat somewhere, or pay $100 for a meal. I call this getting older and wiser. As long as he puts out, we'll be good.

So far so good with the new new girl. Aside from the fact that her coworker moved to our area, but not our department...and there seems to be some conflict there. I'm trying to give her some direction, she hasn't had to be accountable to anyone really, and this is gonna be a rude awakening. Well, not rude, cus I'm a nice person. I even got them valentines! I did have to ask her like 5 times to put files away before she did it. She seems to lack a sense of urgency, or priority. Something we'll have to work on.

I didn't weigh myself this morning at home to get my weekly weight loss.....but the scale at work says I lost 4lbs since yesterday, and I'm not going to think that's possible. My goal was 2lbs to make the even 60 mark so we'll see.

Happy Vday to all and to all a good Vday!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

It's All Death...

I am way late with posting. It seems in my spare time of, you know, doing my supervisory job, and the job of a missing secretary, now I have to add babysitter to my roster of jobs. I have to babysit new girl, who I guess isn't helping her coworker move up to the new department. You know what? I'm busy. Gawd.

So who watched lost? If you didn't don't read itll either piss you off that you know what is happening, or you'll be bored to tears.

I only have to say a few things. Why on earth is Christian Shepherd the one who is known as Jacob? How did this happen? Obviously he is time traveling, but why him? Did he purposly impregnate Claire's Mom so she'd have Claire and one day she'd birth Aaron on the island? I mean, when does the madness end?

It was kinda cool to see Danielle from her beginning.

Charlotte grew up on the island. I read that theory that she is Ben's daughter in another blog. If I wasn't the only person in my department working, I'd research that and give you props.

Why did Jin lose his ability to speak english all of a sudden? Or, was this a way to show us that Charlotte is more than meets the eye?

When the frenchies landed on the island, their signal was "the numbers" they got from the radio tower. Remember the Losties got danielles message from the radio tower when they crashed. Wonder what the signifigance is of that. Personally, I think Hurley played the numbers after having been on the island and time traveled back. Who knows where this all ends?

Nothing was in that smoke monster that ate the french dude. Ever since Mr. Eko faced it and it had all those images in it, I'm obsessed with looking for meaning. It made them all sick though, and never did that to anyone else.

.....or was it the fact that they went into the temple that made them all sick? Remember when something bad happened before Richard told his people to go to the temple. Innnnnnteresting.

Remember when the others captured Jack, Kate, and Sawyer, and had them in those animal cages, and Benry took Sawyer on that bunny rabbit walk and said he put that pace maker on hes heart, and was like good luck running away cus your on another island? What ever happened to that other island?

Just asking!

I get to see the manfriend tonight!!! I'm pretty excited about that!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Equal Rights are for Idiots...

I was kinda obsessed with this guy at the hockey game. I can't imagine why. I think it was his jersey.

The only thing that made me laugh more, was when I asked Tara when they came to clean the ice, and she said "what... with the zimbobway?"

I'm pretty sure that is a country in Africa. And yes, I just said country in africa. I'm not sure if that is even right. There are two things I don't know, geography, and math. I can look at a map, and use a calculator, or excel to figure math for me. I'm actually a smart person when I care about the topic. And, I can math and geography if I have to...so, I'm not a complete idiot. But it's like reading instructions. It makes my head hurt. And I just don't want to. I think enough at work all day.

Maps, math, instructions and geography, are all menswork. Hereby declared by me. In addition to their other duties like using hammers and lifting heavy stuff. I am perfectly happy to fulfill the classic role as a woman and do the laundry and clean the dishes, and stay home with the cats. I find nothing wrong with that.

Have you ever smacked your finger with a hammer? Have you ever tried to connect cable, tivo, dvd, a stereo, and a vcr all together so they work simultaneously and you can hear/see whatever you watch? Have you ever had to move a treadmill up and or downstairs by yourself, or better yet with another girl? Sure, we can do these things, we are women after all, and we can watch TV and talk at the same time (let's see them try to do this one girls!). But they require far more effort for us, and frankly, I'm not feeling it. Being a single gal of course, I do have to perform all the aforementioned duties. I even fixed my steam vac once by taking it apart and replacing the belt. So yes I can America! I just don't want to.

So, maybe you agree that it's way easier to mop a floor, or flip a pancake. I'm all for equal rights in that I should make the same wage if we do the same job, and I don't want to burn my bra, cus they cost $45 bucks a peice. But equal rights doesn't apply when you need like, bugs killed, or toilets unclogged. There are some things I'm perfectly OK with not doing. And I see nothing wrong with this.

P.S. My car turned 100,000 miles yesterday. Today it's at 100048. I put over 40,000 miles on it in two years. Of course, it's cus of Cleveland. And the fact that I drive 60 miles a day to/from work. I have 4 more years until my cars paid off. (insert nervous laugh....)

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Moderate This!

First of all. It's 5:16 on Monday. I can't even read blogs, or blog properly anymore. I couldn't take my usual 11:00/The View slash Price is Right workout lunch break today. Or, the rest of the week cus I'm training new new girl.

Rest assured. I still for the past two weeks, as with every week even when I attend bootcamp, have been doing my 50 minutes (that's new sorta from 45 min) workouts at lunch time. Five days a week. I do hill intervals, I jog, I climb freaking mountains (which is what I call an 8% incline, I remember when I thought 3% would kill me)

All in all, the stress of work has got me thinking about one thing. Which I can't even describe well enough to do it justice. How badly I want a chocolate donut. Not just any chocolate donut, it has to be a dunkin donut chocolate cake donut with chocolate icing, or a Krispy Kreme chocolate cake glazed donut.

I'm pretty sure that donuts are why I am on a quest to lose 90+ pounds. (also known as only 35lbs more to go people!) At my last job, the guy who did our print work would always bring us donuts when he picked up/dropped off jobs. Not just any donuts. Krispy Kremes. Not just any Krispy Kremes. They were always warm. If you have not experienced a fresh from the frying vat of boiling lard....warm glazed Krispy kreme, you havn't lived.

Of course, I personally preferred the chocolate, so I'd have a warm glazed, and a chocolate. And since there was like 3-4 dozen donuts for 4 people, we shared one dozen with the building, and ate the rest. I can't recall how many I could have in any given day but I could have a lot. And feel like total crap afterwards.

Everything tastes so much better when you don't give in to every desire for it. For instance, 2 weeks ago I had chocolate cake, with buttercream frosting. It felt like I died and went to cake heaven. Oh, I've thought about it. If there were cake heaven, the clouds would be marshmallows. And it would rain nuts, cus I love nuts. (wink) The rivers would be carmel, and the birds would be reese's peanut butter cups bats, that I have never seen before in my life. Since I'm dead, I'll also have a heart made of reese cups since i've seen those at Wal Mart. And, since it is my heaven, I'll have my cats, that don't shed. Otherwise they will have their hair all up in my carmel river. And I don't want any part of that!

Come to think of it, now that I found that reese cup bat. I think that I want to have some reese's cups more than a chocolate donut. I would gain 50lbs in 2 days If I had donuts, and reese cups. I am not good with moderation. I try to have the sugar free versions of things, which are fabulously delicious, but my stomach seems to reject whatever they make it sweet with. In the form of it stinks.

Know something that isnt good in moderation? Sex. That is something you should partake in all you can. Because it burns calories. And if you're lucky....it's also good.

This weekend, the manfriend did cute and thoughtful things like, put washer fluid in my car, fixed my headlight, and took down my trash! My trash? Down the hill of doom and gloom? And put in light bulbs for my outside lights. He's so cute he should be punished. I love when men do manly things for girls! It's totally sweet!

Monday, February 09, 2009

My So Called Life...

We got a memo Friday at work. To save money, they are going to stop delivering the mail. Each department has to go pick it up. So, instead of paying 1 person minimum wage to truck mail around, they are going to have all the admins away from their jobs for like 45 min a day. Awesome idea whoever thought of it. You rock. Of course, it doesn't bother me cus I get to delegate this job to someone. But, I feel for new new girl (ha ha) I work at a company that has 4 buildings. Three are connected, one is like, on another block.

Stay tuned to when they start to charge us to use the pisser, because this will A) make money for the company and 2) increase productivity. I am thankful to have a job, but seriously, what's next? Picking up our own mail. I have a friend who works at my old job and what, there's 25 people left in the building, and they don't get their own mail. Maybe I should send them a memo!

I got a letter from my Bank. Apparently my bankcard was one of many that may have been stolen. Luckily nothing suspicious has happened. But, you know what a pain it is to set up all your bill accounts with a new card?

I am taking yet another week off bootcamp. Why? Cus this was my life.

Wake up.
Go to work
Spend lunch working out
Leave for bootcamp
Go home
Cook breakfast and lunch for following day
Pack my workout clothes for the next day
Do dishes from said cooking
Now it's 9pm
Take a bath
Clean and watch some tv
go to bed.

lather. rinse. repeat.

Taking time off bootcamp, gives me more time in the evenings. I needed a change. I can't stand working out to be my entire life, but sadley it's all I do. My Momma likes to say that I spend all my free time with the manfriend, but I should be so lucky. I workout too much. Yea, I have to, but its also OK to take a break from time to time. I also have to plan ahead to do things with friends. Oh, you want to go out on Friday? Ok, I have to know on a Monday, because I am required to take 3 bootcamp classes or pay a pentalty, so I need to know what days to go, since I can't go Friday. Go out tonight? No way. I can't have last minute anything.

I'm going back. When I get paid. Oh yea, that's another thing, I can't afford it this month.

P.S. If you watched Desperate Housewives this week, where they went to bootcamp, that's pretty much how it is. Only, Gaby was all the new people who are too stupid to know that its their fault we do 500 jacks in a row cus they cant do 10. I hate new people.

Friday, February 06, 2009

It's Not Contagious....

I lost another pound. Maybe I have worms. The cats had worms not long ago. I know, that was kinda sick. It's more like, I worked for every stinking pound and it's not easy at all, but totally worth it when you get on the scale! Fifty nine down! I am going to surpass 60 next week! What sucks about losing more weight? I'm now at the point where I'm washing my second size down pants in warm water and drying them so they fit. I'm not a normal girl. I don't love shopping. I'd rather have money in the bank.

I get a new girl at work! Score! She starts Monday and we heisted her from another department. She had no choice. What's not so fabulous, is that I think she may rival current new girl as pretty unintelligent. Why me? This is going to teach me something, I swear. I met with her current coworker, and apparently, if new new girl doesnt have a specific task to complete she wont work. Oh, and she talks to herself out loud to you. She blurts inside thoughts outside and expects you to know wtf she is talking about. Oh, and currently her job is at a snails pace and things are totally different up here!

New new girl emailed old new girl to ask her all about the dept and me as a supervisor. Old new girl showed me everything. I think me and old new girl are gonna be just fine. She freaking loves me. Who wouldn't?

Not only did I come up with a genius way to save time at work, I discovered an assload of problems yesterday with a huge report I run monthly. I'm on a roll. The mistakes weren't mine. Then I had a fabulous one on one with my manager, where she told me how proud of me she is.
Don't mind me, I'm patting my own back.

Tonight I am going to the Lake Erie Monsters game with the neighbors, and my manfriend. I got the company suite again. Sometimes working with big wigs has its advantages. Like, getting free kid rock tix in the suite was pretty bad ass. Hopefully we see some hockey fights. Are there mascots at hockey? Cus...what the hell is a lake erie monster? Other than something that probably lives in that lake for real. Then, I think we may make an appearance at the Garage Bar, or some other non-flat-ey type drinking establishment.

I had a nice convo with the manfriend last night. It went somewhere along the lines of that he is aware of what is going on, and he doesn't want it to hinder any chances for us to have a happy future together. And he also made mention that he is getting closer to being ready to move this ship forward. That's progress. Even if its baby steps ...if its in the right direction, I'll take it. He also said how much fun he's had in the past year with me, and that we do alot of fun things, and that he has fun with me no matter what. Finally....someone see's me for who I am. Awesome. (ah ha) I dunno why he has to be so freaking cute.

Or so good in the sack. But, I'm not complaining about either!

Madonna on the new muzak at work is pretty sweet. Kinda risque for corporate america, but it's some circa True Blue album stuff.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Check Your Bags at The Door...

There is nothing worse in my opinion, to bring your old crap into a new relationship. I spent years and years doing this. "that guy was a total douche, so therefore you will be a douche too". Boys do it too...."she controled my life, so you will too, so here I am being a dick and I'll do what I want" The result of that, is not giving any new person a fair shot. Seeing them only through your own filters. Not hitting the 'reset' button between relationships. Taking time to process the ups and downs. Feel the pain. Be on your own. I'm guilty of it.

He hit me so you will too. He hated to talk so you do too. He loved to yell so you must love it too.

I carried around a ton of baggage my whole life. Mainley the baggage from my shitty-ass marriage. I never knew that I could let go of it, or even start to unpack my bags until I heard the following which I think was probably on Oprah..."allowing someone from the past to affect your future, is giving them power over your life, why would you do that after all this time".

Huh? You mean, after like, 7 years of being divorced, the fact that I'm unhappy is because I am allowing him to still make me unhappy? Yes. That's exactly it. It's now been 10 years, and the past few years after this epiphany for me have been amazing. What made it easier, is seeing this asshole and having the conversation with him about things he did to me, and him not remembering any of it. He'd moved on. He didn't think about how he hurt me, not one bit. Yet, I was still carrying it around using it to be a victim.

That was all it took for me. Realizing that someone else was ruling my emotions. Affecting my attitude, controling my future. I choose how my life will be. It's not dictated to me by anyone. (this is why I follow the buddhist beliefs vs. Christian)

I only wish I knew how to help other people have the same realization. That the only person carrying your old crap around is hurting, is you. But then I realized....

It's also hurting the person that loves you. And that is where I am. In the moment, I'm so exceptionally happy, and I feel loved, and give love. If I go past the moment and dip a toe into the future, I'm in turmoil. The turmoil comes from the manfriend not letting go of his past. It's holding back a future for us together. The more I think about it the more I panic. The more my own baggage tells me to run away fast, but I am not giving into it. I make my rules. Not my stinking thinking.

I wish I could help him get past it, but I can't. They are his bags to unpack. I just wish he'd at least take out the socks (har-d-harrrr) But more and more I realize that I'm allowing someone else's "crap" to hurt me. Just like I did for so long with my ex-husband, and more and more I realize that I'm not going to be able to accept that. And it hurts.

All I have to say is I TOLD YOU JIN WAS ALIVE! Having seen Kate on the island, and also knowing she is in "real time" back home, reinstates the fact that the whispers on the island were the losties time traveling. Also, the times you thought you saw ghosts, they were just time traveling. Now, I want to know why Walt went back to distract shannon, and why she got shot. Something worse must have been in the works for her.....You know they'll cover all that, cus c'mon its LOST!

Obviously benry gale (or whatever you call him) has something to gain from getting everyone back to the island. But what? I have to search my sites today to see what those medical papers were Sun had...and who was in the pictures with Jack she had in her back seat. Something is not quite right with Sun.

Holey hell.....the french lady? I totally knew when they were speaking en francais that it would be her. Also, have to look for a translation today to see wtf those fools were saying. I don't like that Juliette's nose bled. You besta not kill her off before her and Sawyer do the nasty. Oh, it's happening.

That asian guy who's name I cant remember, maybe isn't a ghost whisperer after all...maybe he just has been time traveling all this time. I sure cant wait to time travel. There's some people who's nads I'd like to kick!

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Where I'm Busy...

I got a letter post to do but I'm having trouble being creative. I'm too busy being a sexy ho secretary. Well, I must have said that at some point, it was in my stats. Holla! But seriously, I'm busy. Coworker left at the most inopportune time. Plus she didn't do anything I asked, and the more I get into her crap the better off I realize I am. I'm busy, but, it's do-able. Although I spent an entire day cleaning her files out. I had to keep saying...."her way is just different" "Not stupid". But really....it was freaking stupid. I reorganized her files to look like mine. Cus let's face it, I'm the boss for a reason.

I really hate slackers. I did my job and hers yesterday, and while I had no time for slacking, I got it done. Hellooooo. Why was your work late? Plus, I took an idea for all of our VP's to do the same award in a given category (we print billions of awards monthly for store employees) and allowing us to do one massive merge versus 11 times 7 which is math but it seems like a lot.

My boss took it to her bosses boss. Still no word on a new employee though. Imagine that. The upside to all this is I'm gonna look awesome when I pull this off.

Also, why do I feel the need after changing in the bathroom stall at work, and the auto toilet flushing 15 times, to tell people as I emerge, "I just changed"? I don't want them to think that 1) I left a big stinkie, and b) that I'm leaving a big stinky and not washing my hands.

Up next at work. Reviews.... A massive meeting, and the rest of month end. Send help in the form of fermented grapes. Or...whatever the hell rum is made out of (in its final rum-diddly form!). Thank you.

LOOOOOOST IS ONNN PEOPLLLE! Other than that my Wednesday's now suck..... No date night. Manfriend's schedule changed. I have to wait ANOTHER day to see him. Hate's it!

And, I got my second W-2 from my second job. I only worked there for 2 months of last year, and made 2189. Guess how many taxes they took out federal? $76. I see the obvious culprite of my having to pay the past few years! Idiots!!! Gawd! Maybe I'll have much less to pay this year as a result of working one job! I'm sending it to the universe!

P.S. My feet don't hurt nearly as bad as they did before new shoes. Aaaand, I'm up to jogging at a 5.3 mph for 15 continuous minutes, the rest of the time, its a 4.1-5.0. I remember when 3.8 was fast to me! I got my insurance card finally, so now I have to call to make an appointment for Chantix. Gulp.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

No I don't Want to see you naked...

I'm all for being comfortable naked. I personally practice this at home. Alone. But the gym? No. I change in a bathroom stall. I've seen all sorts of things in the gym. Some chick is always milking herself in there, all out in the open. I am not maternal, so to me it's like hooking a cow up to a machine and producing a half gallon for me. Gross. Don't wanna see it! Especially how you weigh yourself after milking with all your junk hanging out. Can you really lose that much? Couldn't you tuck your stuff back in?

Yesterday, some chick was bare assed on the scale. It makes me feel uncomfortable.

Oh yea, remember how the gym I go to is IN MY OFFICE BUILDING. And I go on my lunch break! Gawd! I don't want to see contraptions hooked to your boobs, your bare ass on a scale, curling your hair without a shirt on, or you covering yourself with trash bags, and then stand next to you in the lunch line. Akwarrrrrd.

I was enjoying the new season of Heroes last night (I think it might be making a comeback after last season's lame attempt at changing things.....) and my freaking CAT catches her TAIL on fire. It's not the first time for me, having 4 cats, and several candles always lit, it's bound to happen. This is the first time however, the cat took off and I had to chase her flaming ass. Luckily, I apprehended her in time, and neither of us got burned in the process. She just stunk up the joint, and has a melty tail. She's a cotton candy persian, her hair is like cotton balls. It melted. Poor baby.

Pee-ess....Two more pounds and I lost 60. 35 more to goal! I can't even believe it!

Monday, February 02, 2009

Party like you were the age you were in 1999....

Ok, so in 1999 I was 23. Partying was way easier. I was spose to go to a party on Saturday, and when we finally got ready to go (at midnight) we decided to go to Giant Eagle instead, and spent like an hour at the store. Did you hear me? We went to the grocery store instead of a party. But, oddly enough, I had a really good time at the grocery store with the manfriend. Truth be told we have fun no matter what we do.

Friday was the TOGA party. My toga was awesome people. And to protect the innocent I'm only posting pictures on my myspace. I'll probably be your friend if you ask. Cus, I'm pretty nice.
I got to the manfriends around 8:30 and he was just hanging in his manties (boxers) not toga'd up. I drove to Cleveland in mine. Granted, I had my Hello Kitty jammy pants underneath, but I still drove in it. He got some purple crushed velvet material for his toga.

Yes, he did, and so did his friend. It matches his pimp hat, so I guess for him it makes sense. And I fashioned him the winningest toga of all. (Besides mine of course). Not a lot of people donned togas, which shocked me, because well, togas are easy. Since I'm hella busy at work today as its month end, and coworker didn't do anything she was suppose to do before she left for me (karmas a bitch, that's all I have to say!) and I have so much to do that I had to ADD a page to my planner, a list of hilights.

Learning how to pump a keg without head. Aka stop pumping the keg so damned much!
Manfriend's cat Mojo loves parties!
Sometimes I suck at beer pong
I shouldn't do cherry bombs anymore when I am drinking beer
Early morning wake ups are nice when you don't have to go to work
Having Nunzio's pizza ...um...holla! Big up to the Cleves for that one!
Walking to the Mars bar in our togas and sandals with 13 inches of snow on the ground.
Inviting strangers from the bar to the party
Kevin's Jesus "toga"
Making up a dance to "Skat Man"
Being pissed that no one would dance to "shout" with me. Obviously I'm the life of the party.
Being yelled at for stopping "the pong" game to dance. What eves.
Walking into a conversation about finger banging. Who says that?
One of the manfriend's drunk friends telling me how much he loves his cat, then begged me not to tell anyone. (his cat is his celly screen saver, come on!)
Someone putting hot sauce in neil's beer boot.
Selling the fact that someone put hot sauce in neil's beer boot, to Neil halfway thru the beer, for a buck.
Trying to sell other secrets for a buck. I needed some cash!
Flirting with the manfriend all night.
Being the only girl til about 1 am. What......the fuck?
Selling out and putting my PJ's on at 2:30.

Who are these strangers from the bar?
Passing out shortly after.

Sunday's Hilights:

Other than the manfriend's neighbor coming over to complain about the noise....but really he was fishing for an invitation to the party "heads up next time, let me know, or you know invite me over". He's like 50 or something, but you can tell he's a stoner or something. He's hippie dippie.

We laid around til 5 and watched "Taken" with Liam neeson (good flick!) then went to his Dad's for a party. pretty much the only hilight of superbowl sunday, was cheering for Pittsburgh, at a party full of people rooting for Arizona. I could care less about it, same w/the manfriend (see why we are destined for happily ever after?) but it was fun to cheer when they scored, and hear people in the other room say "who's doing that?". I rooted for the steelers cus my Momma's from PA...and cus it annoyed others.

Plus we did that squares betting thing, and this kid who is like 10 was set to win $45. The manfriend and me schemed to change his name if he won. I said "that kid doesn't even have a job!" Manfriend gave me the $2 to play, and I said you had to work hard for that $2! Some people would be like "oh let the kid win" not me! Lucky for him he didn't win. We'd have stolen his money.

Did you watch? What was your fave commercial? Mine was Career builder. Hands down. Followed by the Budweiser ones, cus I love animals. Duh!

"Hey Dummy"