"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort










Friday, February 20, 2009

Hole in the Head....

Do you watch Ellen? Have you seen the studio cat? I just love it! It's been sneaking in at night and caught on the webcam. So she put out a cat condo and food, and now its kitty watch 2009. I just love it!

Someone lost 63 lbs. Who? Me! I do feel better after having invested in more meat. Now I have it for more than just breakfast, I've been having a turkey burger for lunch.

I welcome the weekend. I have had the shittiest week at work. I had a meeting with my boss and she said..."welcome to management". Does that sum it up? You know, everythings your fault, and lies on your shoulders. You have to work over for free and finish projects. Take the flack! I also have to do reviews. And, I have to do 120 for field employees. It's annoying. The people who need that 120 reviews (I enter the statistical information) have harassed me each and every single day.

Then, there is the guy from the other day that was demoted into a position where now I basically give or dont give him the information he needs. And, he seems to think I'm on a power trip, when I am simply restricted in what information I can give him in his new position. He picked two fights with me. He told my boss I am difficult. And we can't communicate. Funny thing is he started shit with me in front of my department. Hello, witnesses? My boss said she told him she knows I didn't argue with him because that isn't me, and eventually told him to get out of her office. He is confrontational. She said she'd have to take this to her boss, and if he wants to talk to me again, to call her into his office with us. Which will make me look bad. It's a huge mess. Yesterday he was sweet as pie to me.

My ex Z called today. I don't know, it's been months since we even talked. I got several private calls and the vm said it was him and to pick up the phone. Excuse me? I didn't. The days of him bossing me around are over. So, Broke up like, 8 years, and he still calls me? I think I'm his one that got away. He's the one I escaped from.

I didn't get to see my manfriend yesterday. This never gets any easier. And I have to think that he loves me and misses me and wants to be with me, but the only way to make that any easier is something he isn't willing to do. I want to buy a house in the next year or so, so I have pretty much stopped looking for apartments. I'm tired of moving. I've moved 9 times since I've been 18. That's almost every year. Almost.

I ordered my credit reports, and I actually have pretty good credit! All the derogatory things, and the bankruptcy, reposession, and forecloseure, are all gone. Gone. I have two things (medical) that are in collections, which I'm going to pay off, and be free and clear, other than two credit cards and a car payment. Hello? Awesome.

I actually thought yesterday about getting another second job so I can save up for a down payment. I think I am sick in the head. I have had almost 1 full year off out of the past five, not working two jobs, and I want to do it again? Obviously I'm lonley. Or crazy. Or stupid. Or determined. Yes....I think I choose to be determined. I want what I want, and no one will give it to me, I have to make it happen.

Universe? I want a house! For me and my menagerie! A manfriend would be nice too, but I don't want to be greedy.

Anyone watch Grey's Anatomy? Ugh, that husband and wife made me cry. Love is a crazy thing. It is fantastic, until someone dies. I can't imagine losing someone you love that much. It makes me tear up thinking about it.

9 comments:

babylamb said...

The drama being a manager. I don't miss those days at all.

babylamb said...

Opps forgot to add
GREAT JOB on loosing the 63 pounds.

Mike said...

Your ex calls you after 8 years? That would be strange unless you were still good friends when you broke up, but that doesn't seem to be the case.

merider (M.E.-rider) said...

First off, congrats on the 63 pounds! You are doing so fantastic, lady. Secondly, I admire you for shrugging off the ex boyfriend. Who the hell calls their ex up and demands that he/she picks up the phone?! He sounds awful. As for the house, the next year's market would be the time to buy. ;-)

Heather said...

Congrats on the weight loss.

I cried about Grey's too. So, what kind of cancer do you think Izzy has? Brain?

Fizzgig said...

babylamb:
yea, its why i make the semi big for me bucks! lol

Mike:
we werent good friends. He always calls to tell me he screwed up and hes got a kid with another girl. he was a total asshole. second only to my ex husband.

merider:
he's crazy thats why. we have a very sordid past. he was totally insane. he called me about eveyr month for years its been a few months since hes called. he was the first bf after my separation.

heather:
i have no idea! it could be nothing. but then ive heard rumors shes leaving the show so she must have something bad. what a cop out to kill her off, im ticked off!

Fizzgig said...

babylamb:
yea, its why i make the semi big for me bucks! lol

Mike:
we werent good friends. He always calls to tell me he screwed up and hes got a kid with another girl. he was a total asshole. second only to my ex husband.

merider:
he's crazy thats why. we have a very sordid past. he was totally insane. he called me about eveyr month for years its been a few months since hes called. he was the first bf after my separation.

heather:
i have no idea! it could be nothing. but then ive heard rumors shes leaving the show so she must have something bad. what a cop out to kill her off, im ticked off!

Erin said...

Listen up girlie.... Repeat after me... I WILL NOT GET A SECOND JOB. Say that over and over again until you get that thought out of your mind!!

I did watch last night, and omg, I totally cried too! I have to watch the cat watch on Ellen... I missed it all week long!

Congrats on the AWESOME job you did losing weight!!

Narm said...

Congrats on the 63 lbs! I can't stick with a diet for more than 3 bites so I understand how hard that is.