"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Friday, January 30, 2009

My Insurance Woes...

So, as read in my posts titled about vagina's....I havn't had insurance for 2 years. And, as a result, I've been forced to go to Planned Parenthood for my annual hoo-ha exam. Which, is a totally non-fun thing to do. It's so....ghetto. I guess I'm glad I have the opportunity to go, because I could be riddled with 10 kids. So, go Planned Parenthood, you do a great service! But you suck at bedside manner.

I was so excited when I got promoted because that meant I could afford to pay for insurance. Woo hoo! I had to wait until October for open enrollment. It wouldn't be effective until January. Wait... it IS January, right?

So, why did I have to send in yet another order for birth control pills to Planned Parenthood? And why have they not yet shipped them when my new pack starts on Sunday? Interfere with my sex with the manfriend, I might have to blow a joint up. Seriously. I had to call the place for an hour before someone decided to answer the phone. They told me, they shipped my order out, and I should have it Saturday. They besta hope I do. BASTARDS. I have PMS!

Anyway, back to why on earth am I still going to Planned Parenthood instead of a real live gyno that gives you an actual cloth robe that covers your entire naked body vs. a paper towel to barely cover your can-cans. And talks to you, and doesn't just say "Get naked".

I received in the mail my prescription card. My dental card. My vision card. No medical card. I could get a prescription, but couldn't go to a Dr. to write me one. Surely it's coming.......I wait, and wait. Last week was 3 weeks into January when my insurance was effective, so I ask HR where my cards are. "oh, you have to contact the insurance provider" So I do. They tell me they have no record of my being insured. Wait, but they are taking money out of my check each pay. Sooo...

I try to call HR, they never answer. Is it just my work, or does HR seem to not be very humanely resourceful? I marched my ass over to the department where the girl I just called is sitting at her desk doing nothing. She looks at my file, and says "oh, I don't know how this happened. They signed you up for (insert company name) insurance which is for our field employees outside of Ohio".

Oh, cus clearly, I live in Ohio, and I work in the office, as I'm at your desk...not the field. So here I am still uninsured. Fighting with planned parenthood, to plan my non-parenthood, which isn't very easy to do. Supposedly my new insurance card should be in the mail by the weekend.

Last night, my tivo went out. *gasp*. I happen to love TV. It couldnt locate my satellite. Five years never a problem, now? All sorts of shit. I thought maybe its cus I smacked it the other day. After an hour of configuring and messing with it, I hung out my second story window tossing buckets of hot water on it cus there is more ice on it.

Who fixed her tivo? I did. Who has an addiction to TV...maybe I do. But, it was the premiere of Hell's Kitchen! Fuck off! (Gordon says that I totally wouldn't tell you to eff off!)

Pee-essss: I'm going to three parties this weekend. Fri, Sat, and Sun. Talk to you Monday when I'm exhausted....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


Mike said...

Party on, Wayne. Party on, Garth.

Isn't it great how insurance companies and the like never mess up when it comes to taking your money, but they fuck up everything else.

merider (M.E.-rider) said...

Insurance crap sucks no matter how you look at it, but your situation is unfair. I hope you get your insurance card and your 'safe for lovin' pills by tomorrow, or I know your entry on Monday will be a doozie. ;-)

Rachel said...

WAIT. They give cheap hoo-ha exams? Suddenly I'm a little less terrified about not having insurance.

Erin said...

That sucks about your insurance... don't give up though - there has got to be something they can do!!!

I watched the premiere of hells kitchen too - I just love some Gordon Ramsey!!

Hope you had a great weekend!!

Fizzgig said...

yes, its a rackett!

I got my ins card, but no pills! None!

yea they base it on your income, so its cheaper. plus you can get tested for stuff for 10 bucks if you want. and birth control is cheaper thru there too.

Im sleeeeeeeeepy!