"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Food Is Food And Love is Love....

I have been saying this for YEARS, but I read this story over at the plumbutt chronicles.

Men make you fat! Now, I don't mean it's their fault entirely, but they don't help! The funny thing is, guys don't seem to understand it. They get mad that women get fat when they are in a relationship. Well, I dunno how man times I've told CP not to bring the fucking nutty bars into the house. Or, why you need to have meat with every meal?? Or why does his liquid intake only consist of pop? He doesn't listen. (he also doesn't complain about my weight so let me stress that point right up front!)

When I met CP I was on the fast track baby! Doing my strip aerobics, jogging on the treadmill, working 2 jobs, eating 99% vegetables, with some meat here and there. I was 'the biggest loser' each month at work, making everyone jealous of me. Then the man started coming around, and wanting food. So why is it my fault? My self control consists of this.... if I don't have it at home, there is a 95% chance I won't go out looking for it. If it's in the cupboard, I hear it calling to me. I speak junk food. That's why I cut off communication with it!

Why is it that guys can seem to consume enough food in one sitting for an entire day, while I can only have 2 ounces of protein, and an entire plate full of vegetables just to maintain my weight. Blame that one on whomever put us on this great earth. But it is easy to eat right when you don't have someone sitting next to you chowing on greasy cheese covered yummies, and sugary sweetness!

...MMMM look at me eat these cookies at 12 a.m. right before bed with a big glass of milk. They sure are delicious. MMMMM. Oh, sorry, did you want some? Oh, you can't? Too bad, cus they are fucking good!...

So, men, the next time you want to be pissed about the woman that you are with putting on a few pounds after you start co-habitating, point that finger at yourself. Then, realize, it happens to most of us, and your chances of dumping a girl cus she's fat, and finding a thin one that will stay thin, are pretty slim.

On that note, I'm listening to a reallllllllllly good book called "When food is food and love is love". I got it from the library, and I'm glad I did. It's the first thing I've ever listened to about food that makes sense. The only thing that deals with other issues, and why you have issues with food. And, written by someone who has had issues herself. Which helps! Someone who's done all the crazy things I have! There are lots of meditations and reflections. But right now I'm just listening the first time through. Obviously I'm an emotional eater, I just have no idea what the emotion is yet. Or why I have it. If you have this problem, I highly suggest this program!

I don't really blame men for being overweight. But it doesn't help when you reallllly want to have something and they say honey, have some cake! This book is all about not depriving yourself, because it's when you deprive yourself that you want that thing more. Make all things a possibility to eat. Have what you want. Just have enough. It's all pretty deep, but you start to separate food and love.


A passer by said...

An interesting theory. So basically, once you snare a man, you have two choices.

1. Change your behaviour and succumb to a diet of red meat and sweet fatty food.

2. Change his behaviour.

Option 2 is obviously the tougher of the two options, even though it may benefit the relationship most. There are however, various methods that a wily female can employ to achieve this. I'd recommend a mixture of positive reinforcement mixed with aversion therapy, in much the same way as Pavlov employed in order to persecute defenceless dogs. For example. Next time your man eats a hamburger tell him that it makes him smell, his penis shrink and looking at it (the hamburger) gives you a headache. Next time you eat cookies tell him that you fancy an early night, buuuttt, they make you too tired to get funky. Conversely, everytime you have a bite of lettuce, go all weak at the knees and mumble seductively how tomatoes are an aphrodisiac. If you find that your man is either [a] too smart for this sort of conditioning [b] Quite happy to bugger off and watch the football, then a more subtle approach might be called for. To this end I'd suggest that next time your man sits down to a nice juicy steak or perhaps a lamb chop, you casually rise from you seat and walk round behind him, then, just as he takes his first mouthful of wild boar sausage or meatballs and gravy, you SMACK THE SON OF THE BITCH on the back of his head with a skillet. Before long he will start to complain of headaches, nausea and dizzy spells which he will naturally attribute to his meaty diet. A couple of choice words from yourself and maybe a strategically placed magazine article hinting that red meat rots your brain and BINGO! One fully conditioned male. You'll be eating tofu and watercress soup in no time.

Celina said...

YES!! You are so right!! I have gained so much weight over the years (that R & I have lived together)!! But, I have gotten better about telling myself that I really don't NEED to eat those cookies/cupcakes/fruit rollups/chips that HE buys! I find that just keeping busy really does wonders for keeping me away from food. I LOVE to go home during lunch to watch GH, but I know that if I do, I'll eat something...so I have to give myself a pep talk!
I love meat too much to give that up, but I really could do without all the snacks. But, R would "just Die" if he didn't have his 6 cokes (at least he drinks diet now) and several cakes Each Day!
Of course, we'd both like to be thinner, but mostly I'm concerned about HEALTH--heart disease & diabetes runs in his family (and by "run" I mean "dances, trots, climbs, hikes, and sets up camp").

supplymadam said...

How interestingly true. If it were up to me,I'd have no snacks(except chips and salsa and an occasional piece of chocolate)in the house. Now here comes Easter and hubby wants me to make the tradional Easter Grain Pie. Do I need it?No. But I'll be darned if I'm going to slave over an oven for a couple of hours and not enjoy the fruits of my labor. If I were alone my food bill would probably be 50.00 a week. Now it's triple that. For one more person the food bill triples?

Mon said...

It's really interesting!! I don't think you realize it until you step back and remember your single self. I am working really hard on thinking when I want something and when my body wants something. Mostly, my mind wants something.

Jay said...

I love blaming men for...well, everything!