"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Monday, February 20, 2006

February Curse....

It's hard to believe that it's Monday already. I'm so tired of living for the wknd only to be disappointed when the wknd turns out sucky! The biggest news (besides TWDSO dating a skank) is that I hit 'trendsetter' status on my yahoo music station. Be envied. Be me.

I took CP out to eat at my brothers friends restaurant. My brother was there and didn't even talk to me. He said he was busy. What-everrrrrrrr. I havn't seen/talked to him since Xmas!!!! Me and CP have been at it lately. Not seeing things eye to eye. I dunno what it is. But I'm starting to think I have a Valentine's Day curse. Last year, it was the demise of my relationship!

Part of it is money. I won't bail him out of financial trouble. He said it's good that I don't. But, I feel guilty cus we're engaged. I do think the fact that he has a roof over his head is support enough. I'm paying the bills for us. He hasn't been able to pay me his half steadily since he moved in. I'm not giving him anything. I work 2 jobs to have money. I feel pity for no one where that is concerned. If I wasn't working we'd be fucked. And, it shouldn't be that way. But I keep it zipped. He told me again how money isnt important to him. So, his internet is getting shut off. Eventually he'll realize money is important. I already handle his account for him. I gave him the stuff all back. Why? It causes added stress on me. I have asked him every wknd for months to sit down w/me and devise a plan for him to get caught up on his mounds upon mounds of bills hes never paid. And, it never happens. I'm worried enough about my own money. I don't have time to worry about his. I'd like to enjoy life.

I use to be a fun fucking girl. Not so much anymore.

Part of his deal is work. He lives in a fairy tale land where everyone at work does what they should and you get praise when deserved. And everything is happy and you never have to bite your tongue. I told him to talk to more people. 99% of people hate their jobs. Or, have had to hold back and not scream at someone, right? It comes with being employed. I am challenged every day, and I know it's my job. So I keep my lip zipped and I don't do what I want to do. Because, that's what you do when you have a job. Restraint. I am also one of the few people who loves their job, and I still have my moments!

Um, how awesome was Grey's Anatomy? I keep waiting for it to just end the season, cus you know when things get unbelievably good, they stop for the season. I can't believe Meredith gets it on with George. She is going to break his heart.

Today's Question:

What is your biggest work challenge?

I have a coworker who grates my nerves most of the time and I have to put on a happy face and not let it bother me.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

My biggest work challange is getting there for starters. Then playing cinderella to the beat of the clock.