Titleless Post...

Firstevly, Go here and enter to win a contest! I love contests! Someone has to win and that could be you! You can win the pictured necklace! While you are there you may find you want to buy some jewelry, you didn't think you would buy! I am going to buy "laugh" because I love this message! Now, go and enter! All you have to do is look!

They canceled that incentive trip to Mayacoba at work due to the pig flu. Honestly, I pictured the outbreak like, in the crappy areas where people live in boxes in Mexico. Not the fancy resort areas.

I witnessed this box living a few miles from where my ex husband and I were on our Shitheadmoon (can't call it a honeymoon when he isnt my honey) in Cancun. We ran out of money, and had to have my Mom and sister wire us some. The trip to pick it up was a memorable one. They live in boxes with carpets for roofs. And we went back to our air conditioned hotel room with marble floors, and free bottles of alchohol. America really is the land of opportunity, you can't blame them for wanting to come over. Though I think it should be done legally. (that's another story)

Cancun! Oh how I wish I would have went with someone I loved, instead of someone I thought I should marry in order to start a family by 25. My how things have changed! I thank the universe for knowing better what I needed than I did!

Is anyone else worried that we are catching animal sicknesses? Remember that book Animal Farm? We had to read it in school. I always knew they could talk, it's probably their way of taking over the world, first birds, then pigs, next cows. Except, I really think cows are adorable. It makes me cry when they show them with mad cow disease on the news. It literally pains my heart. So, instead of cows, flu, can you infect snakes? I could kill a zombie snake I think!

What scares me worse than some flu, is that flesh eating bacteria. Saw it again on Oprah yesterday. A woman lost her whole side of her body cus she cut her finger with a chef's knife! Eeek.

I havn't lost weight latley. But Kat sent me a picture last night of me 2 years ago (before losing 72lbs) and ummmmm....besides being horrified that I thought I looked cute, I remembered that I have made progress, and it's taken 2 years. Patience. I just want to lose 20 more. Isn't the last 20 the hardest? Ugh.

Rest assured though, I am still doing my 50 minutes at lunch treadmill/eliptical, sometimes both, and a couple days a week walking after work. I also added core work/weights 3 days a week with the balance ball, which I can already tell the difference in my balance. I'm getting there. I just have to get my food right.

It's hard to balance working out and eating, because you have to eat more when you work out, or you're always hungry. And that leads to eating 4 bananas a day and while this may sound good, they are high in calories and sugar. If you don't feed the hunger, you don't lose weight, despite working out 2 hours a day. IF you eat too much, you don't lose weight cus you had too many calories. Sometimes I want to scream and give up. But then a friend sends you a fat picture, and you remember why you are doing it.

P.S. Maybe if you think about me losing 10lbs I will? Anyone? Help?

make me a bird so I can fly far far away....

Last day for taxes! I still have to file my state. And my city, but we're not going there with the city taxes. State, I'll file as I should be getting a refund. Cha-ching.

I perused flights yesterday to the beach. I admit I suck at this crap,which is something I do for work, but we have a program, and it's not my money I'm spending. Way easier.

Flights to VA Beach are 248 per person round trip in July. This is the same price as last year. How come there are no deals? I looked up other sites, tried to book one way there, and one way back to save money. That way tickets were $69.......Yesssss! Plus, $55 fees/taxes. Nooooo. So, no matter which way you slice it, it's gonna cost $300 when all is said and done to fly to Virginia. I use to work with a girl who could find flights to anywere for like 50 bucks cus she could pick connecting flights and whatnot.

Personally, I don't mind a 10 hour drive, I'm hella fun, and great at I spy. Manfriend says it's a waste of two vacation days. Pffft. I could really use a trip to look forward to. Its rough to have perfect attendance with no vacay.

Living on the cheap, aka... having shitty cable, has turned me on to a few good shows like Southland, and The Unusuals. I'm pretty sick of the Price is Right, while working out, I've turned to the Today Show at 11. I have to Tivo the price now, because I'm so sick and tired of the commercials, which are all for old people. It's the same four commercials, and If I hear this old broad say "BINGO!" one more time, I may barf up a lung!

Repeat after me...I am going to be debt free in 2010. It's going to happen. I even put it on my dream board. Which I'm thinking of posting....

I'm also thinking of finding a group or something to meet new people. I kind of thought this was sad, but I guess its what people do nowadays! I thought about volunteering at an animal shelter but there arent any close to me. And then...I have enough animals, and I know me, and my big soft spot for furry things, and I'd wind up with a billion homeless pets taking up residence in my home. Sucking up more of my income than the ones I already have do...So, thats out.

I win another contest! This one was from Chicken Nuggets of Wisdom! She has all sorts of fun contests you should go check her out! I won a box of South Beach protein bars, and a water bottle, and a beach ball and note cards! It's always fun to get a package in the mail for just entering a contest! I think everyone should have them!

Peeve...

More things that bother me. Because you care.

At work, we run a bazillion awards each month. Then they are signed by VP's. Then we run labels, and put labels on envelopes and stuff the awards into the envelopes. I know, captivating. I didn't say I was saving the world, it's a job.

To speed this process up, we run the awards, and labels both in a logical numerical order, so you just stuff them right from the stack.

VP's like to play cards with them and shuffel them all up. No matter how many times you tell them it takes HOURS as opposed to minutes to stuff envelopes because they do this crap, it doesn't matter. It bugs me. It's like playing memory or something, OH OH! I saw 371 mid way thru this stack.....

There are some new people to the gym at work. They bring annoying habits. The girl is I dunno, "older" and she breathes really loud and counts. "pffffffffffffffooooooooo one.... pfooooooooo two.... pfffffffoooooo three". Hello? You are interrupting my showcase showdown, betch!

The second, is this guy that I wish I had a video of. He rides a bike, two machines down from my treadmill. He must put the thing on the highest level, and covers his head with a towel, because I think he has that kid mentality, you can't see us, so we can't see you....

He talks to himself. He says things as if he is his own trainer, like "come on, come on, push it push it" and he says these things in a dirty sex talk kinda way, while violently out of breath. Like, dirty, you know......

The last lady gets on the treadmill and runs it at an 8 or 9. Mind you, I run pretty fast for short stubby me at a 5.6. She doesn't run at an 8 or 9, she holds on to the bar and holds on for dear life, and walks. I have no idea what she is doing. One time the guy that loaned me his pants, asked her why she did that and she said for her stomach. He told her she isn't really doing anything for her cardiovascular system. I had to laugh. This was on my second workout yesterday. (props!) I havn't gone back to boot camp due to it's enormous cost, and I've been losing weight on my own.

When I win the lottery and buy my island, I'm going to have a bad ass gym that no one is allowed to go into but me. It's going to be the arctic cus I hate to be hot. I'll also have one of these personal coolers I've been reading up on. And I'll have a big TV with my tivo, and a bad ass sound system for when I feel like jamming out while I run. I'm also going to have someone feed me grapes, but that's another story.

Know what doesn't bother me? Contests! There is a fun contest over at Chicken Nuggets of Wisdom where you can win a truckton of South Beach Living stuff. Who doesn't love that? It's delicious! She has lots of contests, but this one especially peaked my interest, go and enter to win. Only if that means you wont beat me though, I'm a little competitive.

P.S. I made a yummy omlet which I thought was gross at the time, I put leftover frozen veggies in it, broccoli, cauliflower, peas, squash, water chestnuts, all mixed in my egg beater. Mmmm.

P.S.S. Jillian on the biggest loser tried to compare MASHED POTATOS to CAULIFLOWER yesterday. I love both, but these are not the same. On my island, mashed potatos and cheese with ranch dressing will be the national food. If you don't like it, get your own island!

A Story about Bodily Functions...

Firstively...A winner has been chosen in my fabulous Valentine's Day Giveaway....(drumroll)...

Alexa! From Cleveland's a Plum. Which is awesome because I can wait til the last minute to ship since she's not far away. The only thing better would have been if my neighbor won! But congratulations! Email me at fizzgigabyte@yahoo.com your info, and I will ship out your fabulous prizes next week!

This is a true story. It happened last week. Because I have no shame.

For breakfast I usually have turkey bacon and egg beaters. On this particular day, I had Yogurt and granola from work. (which cost me $5 but that is another story!) For lunch, I have one of three things, on this day I had spaghetti squash, marinara, and kidney beans. I eat it all the time. It's very low calorie and seriously deilcious.

I'm fine til about 2, when I had to out of nowhere have to poo. Now, I learned from a post a couple weeks ago, that most people don't poo at work. All I have to say is, that is totally unhealthy, and when I get old I'm going to have a happy pooper, cus I go whenever I need to go. You just go when it's empty in the bathroom. Like I did on this particular day.

Instantly, I knew I was in trouble, because it was retched. Rank. Horrid. It was like nothing I've smelled before. I know smelly....

When we were growing up a family of possums moved in under our trailer. Mom fed them radiator fluid, and the living ones ate the dead possums, and the stench would come thru our heater vents. Mom had to get the dead carcasses out from under there to stop the stench! We also had a family of skunks move in. And my moms then boyfriend killed the babies with a pellet gun (freaking asshole!) and they all sprayed of course, and I had to go to school smelling like a skunk. (also totally true, and traumatic..) But this stench was way worse.

Then...I passed a teeeeeeny tiny little poof of gas at my desk. Two point 2 seconds later, I was out of my cubicle because I couldn't stand the smell. Coworker says to me...."what's that smell?" to which I start busting out laughing. She got up and went into the hallway "euw, what IS that smell?" I told her, that I had to abandon my own ship because of it. Then new girl asks, "what's that smell?". It made a perfect bee line thru the department.

The worst part was a random person walking thru and asking what the smell was, after I'd sprayed half a bottle of sweet pea bath and body spray....and everyone pointing at me, and laughing. Myself included.

I still don't do this in front of the manfriend unless its an accident. You probably can't tell but I am a lady. If this had been in his presence, I would've had to hide for weeks. I would be horrified. Although he would probably just laugh at me.

I had a gurgly stomach the entire weekend. I think that yogurt was bad. Or, they slipped in that Danactive stuff. Anyway, I'll never live it down. Like they've never farted. Or poo'd at work.

Pressed Ham...

Bootcamp blew the big one.

It blew because I remained the same weight, yet according to my scale which stays in the same spot I have lost another pound. I'm pretty fed up with it. This week, instead of her blaming carrots, and popcorn, it was the fact that I eat brown rice too often.

Uh, no. So, I'm thinking I need to find something heavy enough, but a known weight to weigh before I weigh in weekly. She doesnt have a real scale it is one you step on and its digital and it measures body fat and weight. I'm irritated. I'm taking the week off. For that, and because I can't afford it this week. I'm sick of the pressure. I workout 6 hours a week minimum. And I don't eat anything that's bad for me, (except for the occasional night out....) so there's no logical reason for her scale to say I'm not losing. It makes me think about not eating out of frustration, but that's stupid. I'm still working out, just not at bootcamp. This week. I might kick her in the head. I mean, if you gain weight, you have to pay $2 per pound. How can you make people pay if your scale is a peice of shit?

Friday night I went out with the gals. We had dinner, at Rockne's. I'd hoped for Cleats all week, a big tall beer, and some greasy totally unhealthy bar food. Which after having Healthy Choice soup, spaghetti squash, chicken, and brown rice for weeks, makes you do a happy dance just thinking about!

They were closed. What a total crock of shit. So, I still had beer, but a turkey club instead. I guess you could say the bread is bad, and the fact that I got fries with it was bad. But it's not greasy bar food. Oh well. The beer was fabulous enough! I had four to be exact. Miller Light....which barely passes for beer, but better than nothing. And I don't regret one of them. I didn't gain weight this weekend either.

We hung out at Bruebakers after that. Where one of my friends asked some totally drunk guy to give me and our friend a pressed ham. You can see by the picture that he did it. We laughed until we cried over that one. I tried to talk them into putting a maxi pad on his back cus he wouldn't go away. But they wouldn't.

Later, he asked my friend when she was going to do a pressed ham, and then mentioned that he wanted to molest her in the parking lot. Creep-y. Who says molest? Maybe its cus he was way older? I dunno! Some other dude was totally checking our table out and I told my one friend dude was checking her out. When we were leaving he introduced himself to me, asked me to stay and have a drink with him. I said we were leaving, but thank you, and he said "come on you dont want to have a drink with me ?" I said my friends are leaving they are my ride. Meanwhile, he has hold of my hand. *eeek*

I'm such a total chicken shit. I really don't mind if someone wants to buy me a drink, that's more money in my pocket, but theres a way in asking that makes it seem wrong to accept. I got scared and we left. I'd say the manfriend is pretty lucky I'm that way. I'm so not the flirty type at all!

In other news, I took the new kitty to the manfriend's on Saturday. Her name's Mojo for several reasons. She is right at home there. She slept in the bed with us too. Sunday we went and he bought her all sorts of goodies at the store. He's pretty cute with her and it just melts my heart! Some girls would think that about seeing their man with kids. Me? Its cats. He got her a new bed, and some toys and scratcher, and catnip. She played like a real cat. She hadn't acted very cat like, but now she's in the swing of it.

Oh! Since I didn't get home from manfriends until after 1 am, I didn't have time to do my drawing for the fabulous valentines giveaway! Remember if you want to win to comment, otherwise, I will have a winner tomorrow!! Aren't you so excited? I know I am!

Be Mine...A Fabulous Giveaway!...

First of all....JUMPIN JA-HOE-SA-FAT it is cold. Minus 8 degrees. Wind chill negative 30. Today's high -4. I have compiled a hatred for the cold post. Because it sucks so bad. But that's for another day!

Ok, it's time for me to pay it forward from my Christmas win over at lbluca77's blog. I'm having a Valentine's Day giveaway, where you will receive fabulous prizes. They will of course be valentine's themed, but since I'm cat-crazy you will actually be one of my cat's valentine's. I'm taken. I know, it breaks your hopeful heart and might make you worry about my sanity but fear not.



You will receive a picture of your valentine, perhaps a fabulously romantic movie, a stupid clock I once got for Xmas, and some other stuff that is totally worth winning, even if I havn't purchased yet. But, half the fun is in the suprise, isn't it? And what else, it's FREE people.



How do I win, you ask? Just leave a comment that you want to win. I'd leave a comment cus I rarely check my mail. I'm lazy that way. I'll have a random pick that I will document for your viewing pleasure and everything. I only ask that you live in the US cus I'm too cheap to send stuff any further, and plus, maybe there is chocolates and I am too ignorant to know international mailing laws to send anything.



I'm also ignorant to whether or not there are mailing laws besides no fluids or suspicious powders. You have until January 23rd to enter, because you want to get your gift in time for Valentine's day, right? Especially if you are a boy, so you can pretend that you bought it all and give it to your girlfriend. Especially a romantic movie. I'm pretty awesome if my gift gets you laid.



Plus, I'm a procrastinator so that gives me another 2 weeks to send it in time.




You can't win if you don't enter. I'm not going to force the lurkers to come out of hiding. Even though I've read on several blogs that it's national de-lurker week. I mean, you can if you want, but I understand the excitement of feeling anonymous. And in my 3 years of blogging I've never once urged anyone to speak up. You might be sad you didn't enter though, when you see how awesome it is. I'm just sayin.

P.S. Less than a week until LOST is back!

lucky isnt for the irish...//Help me get a puppy...

Look what else arrived, sometime in the last week, but I have to walk to get my mail and that's a pain in the ass up and down the hill of doom I live on, so I just got it.

I won these over at Cleveland's a Plum. That's my stolen rubick's cube too...but that just means I'm too lazy to crop the photo. Anyway. At first I was like, who in their right mind would pay that much for socks ($15) (mind you, I won a contest thankyouverymuch) but then I put them on. Their way nicer tham my fashmere (faux cashmere) socks from Marcs. Plus, they came with a cherry on top, that the cat's found to be a worthy toy. I wish they'd find a mouse to be a worthy toy.



So I did buy some scratch off's and I didn't win. That's not true, I won $1. That $1 winner could be my $5,000 winning ticket. I've decided that my contest where I pay it forward, (and YOU could be a winner!!!) is going to be for Valentine's day. Because I actually got good gifts that I'm not regifting. And, Valentine's day is fun. Who wouldn't wanna be my pen-valentine? So, details to follow. After New Year's though.... I have important things to do like, double and triple workouts so I can drink. You know one last hur-rah for the new year.



I wish I had someone to make some yummy polish keilbasa (turkey of course) and saurkraut for me. It's too much work. I may just throw it in the crock pot.



I enjoyed some vodka tonics this weekend. Then I found out that there is 113 calories in tonic water. What. The. Fuck. It's water. How does it have calories? (10 per oz) It has become my mission to buy a seltzer water bottle and learn to create my very own club soda at home. But...80 bucks? The manfriend said it takes Co2. I may or may not have said " is that the same thing as whip its?" Not that I know what a whip it is, or have ever been party to such things, and I especially wouldn't have liked it. I just don't want to have to buy them, and get the look. Like the one you get when you buy rolling papers, for their real-life intended use. Getting older and more responsible makes you have a guilty conscience. At lease, for me it does.




Speaking of guilty..I like to steal things from my Mom's ...when I want something I don't wanna pay for it? Mom had this pineapple picture, that I tried and tried to take, but turns out it was taped to the wall. Trickery. Santa got one for me too. The frame was plastic, and didn't have a hangy thing on the back. But my handy manfriend drilled it and put a thing on the back of it for me. I love it. And um, newsflash, I love him too.



This is pretty much the cutest dog ever. If I believed in angels, this would be an angel. With its pillowy soft fur. It's a shih poo. (shih tzu & toy poodle) Smaller than my abnormally big shih tzu. I've decided to make it my mission to come up with a fund raiser so I can afford one. Yes, I am that mental. I have been given the gift of compassion for animals, and if the universe wants me to have this dog, it wants me to have this dog. It's out of my hands. You shouldn't stand in my way, rather, help me. What if I am St. Francis reincarnated? Then what? If you believe in hell you could go there for not helping me. ......help? Another look? Snowy puppy? I'll let you hold him.

A Creature Was Stirring....

Hi, you know me, I have four cats? I'd like to change that statement, to I have at least three freeloading cats, and one proven killer, who is just a total slacker.



I let my dog out about 4 am to potty, and I saw a little mouse scurry across the counter in the kitchen. My first instinct was of course, to do the girl thing and scream and try to run out of the kitchen, for the manfriend to rescue me. Only, I don't live with the manfriend. So I had to soldier up. And be my independant self. Plus, it looked just like this picture, it was a tiny little field mouse, how horrible could it be? I decided to do the animal loving, woman of the house thing. And catch the mouse.



I got out a little tupperware bowl, and chased it from one side of my counter, across the sink, to the other side of the counter, shouting "ooohh oh oh" along the way as I almost caught the damn thing. I did however, successfully catch the mouse. I don't even have claws and whiskers and night vision eyes and I managed to capture it. I got my cutting board, because obviously the best idea is to scoot it off the counter onto the cutting board, and set it loose out back into the woods to live another day, right? Well I'm not an accomplished mouse catcher, cus as I was sliding it off the counter, it got loose onto the floor, and jetted under the refrigerator. I moved it out from the wall and shoved the broom underneath. But that little bastard was gone. Where, I don't know. Eventually I went back to bed, where my three lazy cats barely opened their eyes to see me.



So now I'm faced with a dilemma. Get a mouse trap? I would sooner live with mice than have to trap them and dispose of their dead carcasses. I thought that's why I had natures mouse traps. FOUR of them. My Mom said my cats probably think I got another pet. I mean, I can hardly blame my cats for being so freaking docile, and sweet, and not even batting a whisker at my bunny, right? However, my fourth cat, the siamese, is a proven killer. She got out my bathroom window when I lived in "the city" (akron) and killed a bird, and brought it in the apartment.



So, I got my gift that I won over at Lbluca77's blog! How fun!


















This is what came in the box. Peppermint bark. If I didn't know better, I'd think this was bootcamp sabotage. But lucky for me, I'm pretty good with resisting temptations latley. Unless that temptation is bread. Or cheese. Or...pizza.





















I got a Christmas pen, pez dispenser, M&M's, slippers, National Lampoon's Xmas Vacation DVD, TARGET gift card (hollaaaaa!) and my very own pirate to grow. Awesome! I'm happy to have won I did a little happy dance.

You really shouldn't have included a gift for the cats, they quite enjoyed the box. I told them Santa isn't coming this year since they have been cohabitating with a mouse. So, this will be their only gift. Good thing they like it. They thank you!

Pickachu (Fizzgig in the wings waiting to jump in the box)



Stay tuned for my after xmas giveaway. Where you might get a non-mousing cat in a box as your gift.

I also got a ticket this weekend. From the lovely city of Lakewood. You know, if I parked at my house at the police station...no one would bother to check my tags. Yes, my tag is expired. Yes, I renewed it and had it in the car, but also yes....it was 1 degree this weekend and stickers don't stick in the bitter cold. I'm pretty pissed. The city sucks. Ya'll can have Cleveland. I prefer my small town living where people mind their damn bizness. And I don't have e-check.

P.S. I didn't gain or lose anything at bootcamp. Stayed the same. But when I lose 3lbs more, I move to private first class. A goal.

World Domination.....

Today is my two year anniversary at my job. I proudly display my anniversary card on my cube wall. Two years, I felt way over qualified for my hired position "secretary" and far underpaid, but while working two jobs, and looking for a new one, I still worked hard to excel and now I'm the boss. I'm also lucky that my company has an entire department dedicated to training just the home office. (and another for the field) I have had the opportunity to take tons of classes, and gain valuable management skills that look fantastic on a resume. Yesterday I learned coaching, counseling, and termination.

Back to my anniversary. Our senior VP always sings us the "happy anniversary" song, and I get sooo excited when she says "I have an announcement everyone gather 'round". I get excited for everyone. It happens to also be contagious. People like that about me, even if they joke with me that I am easily exciteable. I put a smile on their faces with my child-like antics. And my stupid dance I do. It's my trademark.

I think of it as I find the joy in the little things. Life is way happier when you live for the small moments, vs. waiting for the big ones. The big ones are few and far between and then you spend too much time being disappointed. That's my optimism class for today, grasshoppas.

At work we have a cafeteria. It's like a big restaurant and deli and grill with a salad bar, and lots of drinks, and coffee, and pop. I always get a breakfast for 95 cents you get an egg, turkey sausage, and toast. Well with the economy, they decided to outsource it. A company called Parkhurst is coming in to take over. All our employees are staying, but we get a makeover.

In said makeover, comes a bakery (carbs), pizza bar (carbs), Stir fry station (carbs), and a STARBUCKS! *screeeeech* Did I say Starbucks? Downstairs? Um, yea I am going to be in some serious trouble with that. Calories. Whenever I want a carmel frapuccino light (but still a billion calories) I just have to get up and walk downstairs. No getting in the car. No scraping the car.

This is all almost as bad as having a jewelry store at work. That you use to improve bad days by buying diamonds. Oh wait, we do. (I happen to have just bought myself these earrings. I traded up my 1/10th ct round solitaires, to 1/4ct princess. What an improvement! I'm trading up once more next year)

So, whenever this biological war strikes that has been in the news. You know where I'll be? At work. We have the second only to fort knox vault here, which is sure to withstand any germies spread out into the air. We have plenty of food, starbucks, TV, showers, and a gym. I dunno bout the rest of you, but I'll be here to press on in the future. Too bad I'm not going to help repopulate. But, I will help with the animal kingdom. Sign me up for that. If you want, I can start a contest like Paris Hilton, to see who wants to be my new BFF, and your prize (besides hanging with me of course) can be to come with, and live through the devestation. I think second place, can have all my jewelry, but you don't get to hunker down, so it won't do you much good. How's that for optimistic?

But, if that happens I might stop working out and be fat and lazy. Yesterday? I worked out three times. 45 min at lunch, 45 min after work, and 45 min bootcamp. I'm trying to still lose weight after eating crap and drinking a boatload. Wish me luck.

P.S. I won a freaking contest over at Lbluca's blog! Me! A winner! How freaking cool is that? Now, I get to have my own contest. Stay tuned, because I will do one. I can promise one thing, my package will come with cat hair. That's an added bonus, and you don't have to thank me for it.