A New Bra is as Good as Sex!!

*Disclaimer...I have been single for a long time, so maybe I forget how awesome sex is..and maybe I have to find other things to be happy about instead of slutting myself out for casual sex...(I'm not above it though...never say never) but I haven't forgotten the warm fuzzies that cradling "the girls" in a good bra brings on!

Bras cost alot. Or, they should. If they don't, you aren't wearing the right kind. I guess, if you are not blessed with a larger rack, you can maybe get away with a Target bra for $15 bucks, but I still wouldn't recommend it. You could buy one good bra, that will outlast 10 cheap bras.

Bras are an investment!

I'm such a fan of a good bra. Ever since Oprah had that entire episode dedicated to how we were all wearing the wrong size, it changed my life forever!

I'll never forget the feeling of buying my first "real bra" that was sized just for me. No one knew why, but I had an extra pep in my step that day!

I don't care if I think I know my size.

If I have or have not gained/lost weight.

Whenever I make a bra investment, I still get measured. I mean, what do you think those girls at Victoria's Secret walk around with measuring tapes around their necks for? A fashion statement? No. They want to encourage you to get measured! Don't buy a bra that doesn't fit!

I mean really, are no words for how you feel after buying a brand-new, properly-sized, well-made bra!

Every second of the day feels like Christmas!

My ladies thanked me all day today for spending $100 on two bras. Which, are really like 10 bras, since I bought two 5 way bras for the summer!

I can wear these bitches with every style top this season! 

So, have you thanked your rack for being awesome, buy buying it a great new bra lately?

Sex, and the City??

It's that moment when....you wake up from a night of drinking in your snuggly new bed, two weeks after you have your new bed delivered, and set up for you in your bedroom...that you notice your "adult toy" is lying blatently on your night stand, in all its colorful glory.

"OMG, when is the last time I used that??"

Your heart skips a beat when you realize that yes, it's been there for several weeks.

And then you flash back to the day of delivery when the guys told you "you were our favorite delivery of the day", upon their departure. You thought it was because you were chatty, and nice, and thankful for your new furniture, and very appreciative of their speedy service....right?

This is not the only time that my healthy sex drive has caused embarressment.

This almost (but not quite) outshines the time the cable guy came out to investigate a problem with interference on my cable line (YEARRS ago!) and he asked "does the interference also happen when you watch VHS?"

You tell him that yes, it does,  and he asks if there is a VHS in the player that he can test.

You reply "yes, there is..."

And he pushes play...

And then it's smack dab in the middle of a porno.

Porno. On TV. With the cable guy. 


It was like I was making my own porno.

Lure the cable guy over with complaints, and watch a porno together, totally on accident, and then, make a porno of your own. (of course this did NOT happen!!)

Clearly, the cable guy still wins out on life's most embaressing moment for me. 

Is it any wonder I don't want to reproduce? I am a complete mess!

Miss Self-Sufficient...Keep Your Distance...

I was in dress barn, utilizing my birthday discount (I'll be 35 again soon doncha know..) where I uttered these words to the sales lady in a totally serious manner...

"Yes, I'm looking for a cute holiday top, for pictures with Santa this weekend. So far, I think my dog is either wearing a red sweater, or a reindeer costume." She didn't even bat an eyelash, and we got a super cute top! Black, and sparkly, it'll match whatever we find Magoo!

What's more, Mr. Magoo and I both have hair appointments on Saturday, for said holiday photo. Score!

See, I don't need a romantic interest to be happy. I am a happy person with a tiny obsession with my dog.

Is this normal? Probably not!

I simply won't settle for less than the (as Carrie Bradshaw so eloquently stated) "zsa zsa zu" and until that crosses my path....

I have lots of interests to take up my time, a core to strengthen, 13.1 miles to achieve, muscles to build, and friends, and family to enjoy laughs with!

I have a very blessed existence partly because I can recognize that I do.

Little Red Corvette...(or white fusion...)

I have long since been afraid of the trusty Stratus' wonky struts, wobbly wheel, and lack of power steering, and ability to burn thru a set of brakes, and tires like nobodies business! But I was still sad to see her go.

A nice couple wanted to buy her for their daughter on the lot and then the sales guy told her she was on a trip, to the scrap yard.

What?!

I said but she's a nice car, someone could fix her up, she shouldn't be thrown away. I've never been so attached to a car before. She served me well.

And then I drove off in my new ride! She's an 09 Ford Fusion, Dad would be proud, Built Ford tough! He tried to sell me a flashy Mazda 3 which I adore the look of but I said no foreign cars for this girl!

The best part is that its super smart and comes with that talk thing where i can talk to her and she does stuff like dial my phone and text, and sirius radio. None of which I have the first clue how to use, but I'm sure a smart boy will happen along and learn me the ropes. Or...I could read the manual.

But! My payment is only $15 more a month, and I can park anywhere I want without worrying about getting back out due to my lack of steering.

And, I am enjoying one of my very last bottles of wine tonight, sick and all....in celebration.

Guess what? My insurance actually went DOWN 150/year on a newer car. Hells. Yea. I knew this was a smart grown up car!

So it works out to be exactly what I have been paying on the old car! score!

Yay. Me.

I'll show you a lion....

If I hear this one more time I might offically go ape shit, even though, I'm not sure what apeshit really entails, I think it may be a flailing of the arms and an "ooh ohh" sound followed by some weird jumping and maybe flinging poo. "March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb"

Didn't they shove that down our throats enough in school? Ugh. Shut up.

I spent the morning trying to figure how to fix my privacy settings on Facebook (btw my manfriend is on there, and I think its pretty cute that you can say you are in a relationship with so and so...eek) and what happens? I catch a virus on my work computer. I'm a virus magnet. Even in my real life. What, the fuck? It was that one that tells you you have a virus and to download the protection, I kept saying no but it infected me. An hour later they fixed my computer at work. So, hopefully I am now protected from people who wish they were me, right? Oh, I mean my ex husband and his new skanky wife.

This weekend I went to Circuit City with the manfriend, as they are going out of business. I got this digital photo frame. Look at the retail price of $199.99. I paid $60. I charged it. Nice.

It's pretty sweet, cus you can set music to it. When I couldn't decide which one to get, that one or a kodak...and asked my manfriend he was like, I'm sure that ones good, it's not like you're buying a TV....he was only half paying attention. Then when I started playing with it at home, and he saw that it has a CF card reader, and that I can play MOVIES on it....he was kinda sad he didn't get one. Mmmm hmmm. I can take mine on vacation and stuff. Love. It.

We watched movies on Sunday, while recuperating (him, not me) from partying on Saturday. Dude at the video store saw we had "nights in rodanthe" and said thats a good movie, get out the kleenex. Yea, it sucked ass. In the way that the notebook sucked ass. Like, its good, but there really are happy endings in the world, so why make movies where sucky shit happens? We also got Zack and Miri make a porno so we didn't slit our wrists, and that was really good. They did what they promised, made a porno. We fell asleep watching max payne. Manfriend made us some cheesy macaroni. Oh, and we stopped at Coldstone where I had a peanut butter and chocolate, with reese cups medium sized cup of ice creamy goodness! Whoever invented that place is a genius. I'm probably going to have to do an extra mile a day to make up for it. Worth it!

We also hit up GFS, some food supply place where I got ground chicken burgers, at 150 calories a pop, and a Ginormous bag of broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots, for $5.

While I'm not getting married any time soon.....*sigh* (im joking. relax) He did ask me again where we would live should we move in together. I say the same thing each time and that's halfway between our houses. Which is only fair. I said half an hour from your friends and family isnt bad you drive an hour to see me, and he said its cus I'm special. While this was quite cute, I sense some dissatisfaction with having to drive to see anyone else, which is either going to break us, or he'll get over it. I don't love the idea either, but it's a small sacrifice to be with the one you love, and get to wake up with them each day...... *sigh again* Neither one of us should have to compromise that, it's the fairest thing to do.

Eventually you realize that your friends grow up and have families, and don't care so much about kicking it with you every day. And, for someone who also doesn't want to have kids, I would hope he does realize this sooner rather than later. I want to start a life with the manfriend, and save money so we can travel while everyone else is strapped down with their kids. He did mention, that we had cats and a stinky dog together. Which kinda melted my heart a bit.

Goals...I got em!

I may or may not have bought myself a semi-gawdy sapphire ring (except the diamonds on the outside of mine are pave set...with a black background) yesterday because it was only $80 my cost. My new years resolution (I don't make them) is to pay off my employee account before I buy one more thing. Period. I also got the manfriend's mom a bracelet, and his stepmom a very popular peice we sell, that is sold out of stores, and people are threatening our sales associates lives if we don't have more. I lucked out even finding one in the employee store. If she doesn't like it, tough shit.

I went shopping after work, rushed to bootcamp, changed and bootcamp nazi is like "what are you doing weren't you just in class?" I said no. She said "I hope youre not here to workout". Ok, so there wasn't a 6:3o class. I'd been going to 5:30 latley so I'm use to having one every day to choose from. So now, I have to go on my day off! (Friday) Which is total ass.

I finally got all my goals at bootcamp. My goal weight, well I'm not ready to reveal that, or how much I still weigh. But I have 52 lbs to lose to meet the goal set for me. Which isn't too bad of a goal. However, I'd be just as happy losing just 30 lbs more. 52 lbs to lose, and I lost 10 (11 but gained one back) so I have 42 lbs.

The mouse saga continues. Day three. The cats were after it in the kitchen several times last night. I heard them all making that weird meow, and running around. I thought, great if the cats do catch it, but what if they kill it and leave it somewhere then I have to find a rotting carcass? Or worse...what if it's in my bed? OMG! Euuuuw! I don't like anything to do with this whole rodent problem. I thought spiders and centipedes sucked. I'm not loving the mouse.

I got my dog a new jacket at Old Navy. It's pretty cute. It's pink, and it has a hood. I'll post a picture when I get one. My batteries died.

What's the difference between diet coke and coke zero? Aside from the fact that diet coke tastes like ass fungus, and I like coke zero? I just don't get why they have two no calorie colas. If they would make a Cherry Coke Zero....I'd marry it!

Oh, and look what's coming to Cleveland! I might take my Momma.

I'm not working at work. So, I'm doing things like....wishing I had a westie. (nothing against my shih tzu, but I have a bit of a control problem with animals)

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!