"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Monday, October 22, 2007

Catch Me I'm Falling....Faster....

Today, it happened. After almost a year as a secretary to three VP's, who always got shafted, I got my first "Thank You" from one of them. I got a card, and a $50 gift card to Target. $50 is a lotta money to me, especially when I have none!

I had a fabulous weekend. Seriously, fabulous! Friday night I went to my sex toy party. That was a killer time. Know what was even better? For the first time not "needing" anything, because the person you are with does it for you in such a way that nothing could ever make it better. Except maybe...more. I texted the boy that I got him a vibrating butt plug. Just because it's funny. He said I was "freaky" and asked if I really got anything. I saw a lot of people I use to work with at my old job where they canned me. It was fun because, I hadn't seen them since I lost (my personal plug) 47 lbs. So, everyone said how good I looked, which is a nice ego boost. I had a blast with the girls, one of them, got injured during "pass the penis" and while it shouldn't have been funny, it was freaking hilarious because who biffs it and gets hurt to the point of tears, during pass the penis?

After the party, we were drinking, and wound up going out. It was the pheremone spray. It made us all a little goofey. Well, it could've been the vodka, but who's counting? We finally decided to go out dancing, Bubba, Me, Bethie and Jessica. It was a killer time. There was a
pretty good 80s band playing in the lakes, and we actually got up and danced and had a blast. Girls are the most fun. I miss kickin it with them!

Saturday was Cedar Point. It was so much fun. I had fun just being with that boy! I wanted to rip his clothes off the second I saw him, but you know one must practice restraint once in a while. Grrr. We went with one of his friends, and picked up his girlfriend up near Put In
Bay. We got to the Point around 7. He texted me on the way that he thought I looked so cute he couldn't stand it. When we were there, he held my hand, or had his arm around me, he is just so thoughtful and adorable, it makes me nuts. Nuts. NUTS! I'm so not use to being treated
so well, in every way. He actually appreciates the person I am. Not who I pretend to be, or who I'm aspiring to be. It's really me. I have honestly never experienced that before.

Around 12, I was really cold, even though I had on a shirt and a hoodie. He kept offering me his shirt, but then he'd only have on a T-shirt so I'd say no. Finally he took it off and put it on me. And kept telling me "I'll be fine". I wanted to melt. A true gentleman. You know? Seriously. Ugh.
There was 6 million people there. It was packed! We didn't get to ride a lot of rides, but we still had fun. We rode the old classics, like the Mean Streak, Disaster transport, and the Gemeni. I got felt up on one of them. It was pretty freaking hilarious. I laughed and screamed, and had the best time. We didn't get home until 4 am to the boys house. The whole way we texted sweet nothing's to each other. We were with another couple...the things we said weren't always appropriate for other's ears. Plus it was cute!

We decided to go to my house, cus we can't "sleep together" at his house. His parents won't let us. Whatever to that. So, what's the point of spending the night with someone you love when you can't wake up with them? So we got to my house around 5:30 am. Then chatted in bed for a bit. On the way there, I saw a falling star, in an instant I made a wish. I bet you can guess what it was........

Yesterday, the boy took me to brunch, and then we went to super Target, cus he'd never been. You gotta see the super Target. It was the most beautiful day, so we layed in the back yard on a blanket and looked at the clouds. I know you think I'm joking, but I'm not. We totally did.
I told the boy how much I love him, and he did a squirmy little thing. I'ts so cute to have that effect on someone. Your touch, your words. It's amazing. We had an deep conversation about love, and what it takes to keep things the way they are with us, and we both perfectly understand each other. And know that it is work, but the payoff is so worth it.

We're both sick of people saying it wont last, because it didn't for them, and it's new for us. It doesn't last because you get lazy. And that's the simple truth of the matter. Until you have been there, and do the work yourself, you'll always believe that love and passion fade. And when that's what you believe, that's what you get.

We're both reading (I'm listening to) "Teachings on Love" and we talked about some of those concepts together. I said how I use to be treated so shitty by people, but I also treated myself like shit. It wasn't until I started caring for myself that I met him. I have started to listen to my inner voice a lot more, and the more I do that, the more at peace with myself and my decisions I am. It's hard to give up that control. Yesterday was one month. Already. Today he told me "I don't want to wear it out but I'm thinking about you, and I miss you, and I'm thankful every day that I met you".

Want to know the most ridiculous thing I did? I watched the baseball game yesterday. Indians were in the playoffs, so I turned it on, and the outcome was I got to spend a few extra hours with the boy than usual. And I enjoyed myself. I think I could dig a hole with the boy and I would like it.


Slick said...

How'd the girl get hurt with a dildo? Or whatever it was....

That boy is putting even me to shame!

Mon said...

you pass it around from person to person using your knees, its a big double header lol. and she fell trying to catch it between her knees. it was classic!