"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Everything Old Is New Again....

Well here is a day in the life of me. I spent my lunch break yesterday going to the banks to spread my money around, and cash a check from my Momma so's I could feed my brother more than ramon noodles. I dunno whats wrong with those, but what do I know. I went to the grocery store right after work. I got 32 hamburgers. Thirty-two is a lotta hamburgers. And I'll make potato soup some time cus thats cheap and it lasts. The brother loves his saltines on everything so I got two boxes of those. I got generic 99 cent saltines. I dunno what the difference is. Normally, I don't scrimp on food items, but boys eat a lot on not a lot of money. Then since I got paid from my shitty part time job, I rented us some movies. It was a big night at my house. We had hamburgers, tater tots, and rented movies. Like living the life of someone else, that's for sure.

We watched of course, the hills have eyes 2 unrated. The only difference between that and when I saw it at the theater that I could tell was a scene where a mutant gets his eye poked out, and his head smashed, they showed the ooze and bashing. I also rented Dead Silence. It wasn't too bad. But I guess you'd have to have a thing against those creepy ventrilaquist dolls to appreciate it. Which, most people my age do. Growing up with Chucky and shit does something to you. I also rented premonition, but I didn't watch that yet.

Some things never cange. All day, CP had my brother's phone. He let him take it. CP called me at 4:30 to say he is on the way back home with his phone. 6:30, no CP. Not suprising. I was cooking dinner, we ate, and I'm calling him non stop. He isn't answering. He called me at 6:45, and said that he forgot his ID at the job place and had to go back but NOW he's on his way back. Ok. 7:15, he calls. Saying I might have to come get him, the car broke down and said where he was, then said some guy pulled over, and he'd call back. We watch a movie. 8:30, never hear from him. I'm calling. Steadily with no answer. So, I think what if he is walking? I drive where he said he was, and he's not there. When I get home, he's home. Shit went down. So, some stranger towed his car to his house, and fixed a wire on it all for free. Do you believe that? Cus, I don't.

I told him how I'm sick of him free-loading. "I'm working tonight" he said. I said you've worked 1 week out of 2 months you have been here!!!! He left at 11 "to go to work" When I got up this morning? He was home, not working. He claims to have worked 4 hours, and said he was going in 2-10. Then, he was gone when I left for work. God only knows where he thought he needed to be. I think with the shit going on, I'll be glad when he's gone. He keeps saying that he's GOING TO GIVE ME MONEY but then, 'bad luck' hits and he doesnt. Of course, I don't believe him. I wish he would shut the fuck up half the time and realize how stupid he sounds.

Meanwhile, he hasnt slept in like 24 hours and isn't home, but that doesn't make it look like he's on drugs, right? I'm over his bullshit games. I know he isn't going to work. I locked him out but he'll just wake up my brother. He is going to leave me that peice of shit car of his and if I'm lucky I'll junk it for 100 bucks. Meanwhile, he owes me $380. Have I mentioned how I'm poor? Karma is going to bite him in the ass a good one. Just like my ex Z. He'll get himself a deadbeat girlfriend, and I can't fucking wait! I'm so over this whole situation! He makes it so damned easy!

P.S. Today, I've lost 24 lbs. =)


Jay said...

This blows. I'm sorry that you have to carry such heavy burdens by yourself. Take care.

Suzi said...

I think you're amazing to be able to keep everything going and lose weight in the midst of all this turmoil. I wonder what CP is going to do when you finally reach your limit, and he has to be an adult. I hope he beats his addiction and gets well, I really do, because he seems like a decent sort if only he didn't have that monkey on his back. Still, I'd very much like to give him a nice poke in the eye with a glowing hotdog-roasting stick. I hope that's not too mean.

Jen R. said...

I'm impressed that you haven't kicked CP out on his butt already. You're a nicer person than I am. I mean, is he serious? He is scrounging off of you when you have to rely on your mom's check to be able to buy decent food for your brother? He's the lowest and I think you are right for locking him out and not believing what are clearly his bad lies. Stay tough, you clearly deserve better, and it sounds like it would be hard not to find better.

Mon said...

I think I was a total bitch in my past life or something. I was probably rich too.

lol. thats not mean. I think he needs a wake up call. He is a good guy, he just needs to get off the drugs, man!

I know, I am pretty nice. I don't think I am, but then I think about all I do for the wayward boys in my house, and I think, hm, who else would put up with this?
I just keep on keepin on. And thing my ships coming...some day!

EC said...

There's no question that the signs are definitely there... and I'm sorry for that Mon :( I know the feeling and it sucks!

On a happier note - wtg on the weight loss! Great job!!