"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Friday, June 08, 2007

How Bout Those Cavs...

Ok, I really don't give two shits, hell, I don't give one shit about sports. But you can't exist without hearing about the stupid Cav's. So, they made history. For themselves. I think it just reassures that they sucked for what...40 years? And, I'm from Akron, where Lebron is from. It's even worse here. Get a life people. He's a man, not a king. I particularly hate basketball due to the squeaky shoe noise.

Due to me having a bad week, I visited the jewelry store at work. Being among the diamonds made me happy. I wrote down some stuff I want to buy when I have money. Good thing I didn't get anything else, because there was $47 out of my check today. Ouch.

Then today to make myself happy I got the ultimate grilled cheese special at work. Swiss, provolone, and american cheese on texas toast. It might have been the best thing I've had in a year, but I might be biased because I have PMS. And, I've not had cheese or carbs for so long. Unless you count the two donuts I had Tuesday. Kat came over Wednesday and we went for a walk. She made me laugh, and got me ice cream. Mmmm. Yesterday my friend Katie took me to lunch and we got grilled turkey panini's. I'm so glad that I deal with stress by eating. And only working out twice this week. I need to stop the madness before I gain the 17 lbs back and hate myself!

I have to work midnights tonight. So that means I'll be reading blogs. It's not my fault they make me work that shit shift, it's their pay back! Good luck to me getting any sleep before I work too, because it's 90 degrees. I sat outside on lunch and smoked and my ass crack sweated. There is no need for it to be so hot, that you can't sit without sweating!


MzAriez said...

Hi Mon.

I'd give you a hug if I was there, but for now....((((((MON))))))).

I understand the not having children comment. I use to say the same thing too. Way too much work. Somehow love and stupidity whacked me in the head and the heart and I wanted the stability and love of a family. Too bad in my case it wasn't going to happen. Now, it is just me and the rugratz. It is so hard at times. Sometimes, I have cried at night with all the stresses I have. I teased my son's mentor that I was calling the county to request a father, because I can't be in all the places I'm needed. With a disabled son, I am always at risk for losing my job because I need to take off work for him all the time. But, somewhere in my genetic make-up, I am a natural caretaker. Not that I always like dealing with other people's garbage or my own at times, it just always finds me.

I learned once that it probably had to do with my role in a family of chemical abuses. I became the family hero. I got the good grades, was the neutralizer, and the responsible one. Everyone depended on me to save the day. Eventually it gets old and wears a person down. I had to step back because there was no one there to save me.

My current issue is that I have to keep trying for my kids. I am their caretaker. I made that commitment to them and will honor it. In the mean time, I try not to take on too much. Plus, blogging help me vent which is why I miss it so much. And those special moments like when my son gave me the card that I was "the goddess of all gods", keep me going with a smile.

Take care Mon. You are a strong woman and will get through this. Vent all you want here. I will listen and continue to offer my support from way up here.

Be a goddess!

Mon said...

See, I missed your words of wisdom! Glad you are back in business! I relate a lot to your role in your family. I have a sense of responsibility that I think I put on myself. I am the "responsible one". Sometimes, I just want to throw caution to the wind, and be irresponsible, and not care about money, or bills, or health, or what people expect of me. But I'm too chicken. I worry too much about the future. And, then I 'd be mad at myself too!