From the Future Mrs. McCain...

We're having a food day at work. I made taco dip. Do you know how difficult it is to haul food in, when you have to walk a mile into the building, and pass 16 security checkpoints, and then maneuver thru a metal revolving door/turnstyle? Ok, well maybe it isn't 16 checkpoints, but it's three nonetheless, plus the turnstyle. Then, there is no refrigerator on our floor, so I had to put my stuff in one of my VP's little fridges, and that meant I had to swipe 3 of his waters in order
to fit my platter nicely. Shut up.

Know what's fun about a food day when you work for a big company? Catering. They pull up a little catering cart chock full of coffee's, teas, pops, candies, and cookies. The best part? They wheeled that mofo right up to my cube. I can roll on over to refill my coffee. And roll right on back. The leg action from the rolling makes me confident that I can one time steal a cookie, and burn it off, therefore not feel bad about it.

I havn't given you an update on the new girl in a while, and I know how you care about that. She has her good days. Mostly, she is the kind of nice that makes you look bad. Like, she asked if she should go get coffee for her VP's. Um, maybe if we only had one, but you can't properly kiss 3 bosses asses, and do all the work we have to do. She says she use to cut fruit up for her old boss. Umm screw that mess.

She also has an obsession with Johnny Depp. I know you're thinking I'm one to talk, since I might be a little too keen on Edwin McCain, but you don't see me writing "Mrs. McCain" on my
drinking cups at work do you? And I'm going to actually marry him, she has no chance in hell marrying Johnny. Get over it. You know, to make me feel better yesterday about the ex asshole re-marrying, someone could have reminded me how I am marrying Edwin to make me feel better. What the fuck is wrong with you guys?

Guess what? I suppose I still have my stellar job at the police station. They called me yesterday to ask me to work a midnight shift this Saturday. Sure, it sucks ass since I have to work midnights next weekend, but it's only one day, and it'll be extra money. Which I need. Desperatley. Go Me.

You wanna know who makes the best smoothies ever? Me. I do. *pats self on back* It's 1 cup of nonfat, sugar free vanilla yogurt, 1/2 cup ice, 1/2 cup orange juice, and a bananna. Put it in the smoothie maker and it gets the perfect consistency. My GOD is it good! And it's way cheaper than buying one anywhere. I can take off my pants without undoing them. I'll buy new pants when they fall all the way off on their own. It's expensive to re-buy clothes. I have no idea how
much weight I've lost, because I don't weigh myself, but I do know that I need to buy a new bra so I have lost in my chest. All my underwear is baggy in the ass too. CP says that I am really changing. He only sees me once or twice a week so he's the best judge. I see myself every day. Mostly I can tell in my butt. I pay special attention to it.

My earrings are paid off. Guess what that means? It's time for me to get something else! Mother's day is coming up, I suppose I could see if theres anything worth getting the Mother. Only, she'll have to get it in person. I don't think I'm shipping jewelry. Fugetabouit. Maybe it'll be like the electric can opener I got her for Christmas. I just never gave it to her, and she finally got one for herself, and she told me to keep it. I better pick out something I like then, just in case!