"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Freeze Dried Fido...

Before you ask, no I havn't stopped complaining about being sick yet. I was up til 2 a.m. coughing up phlem. So, I took a sleeping pill and slept on the couch. Know what sucks about taking a sleeping pill at 2 a.m.? I have to be to work at 7:45, and I don't get a full 8 hours devoted to rest. That makes me a cranky bitch, Ok??

Another shitty thing about being out of it for days? Having to re-hydrate. Re-hydrating means pissing every 5 fucking minutes on the dot. I normally drink 4 liter's minimum of water. I have no idea how many cups or gallons that is, I just know, I fill up my bottle 3 times at work, and one for the road. I think I managed to drink a 2 liter of pop, in 3 days, and maybe 2 glasses of water. Man how do people live without proper hydration? You can tell. I feel puffy and bloated if I don't drink enough water. I did do a light 30 minute workout with the fitness ball yesterday. I felt lazy. And, I'm going to give working out a whirl at the gym tonight.

I get to go to yet another Bath & Body works party! This one is September 30th. Kat said it's a test store and that's why we get to go to all these cool events. Well, whatever the reason, all I know is that free shit kicks some freaking ass! Even CP is totally jealous, he said he wanted to go. Somehow I don't think he's interested in being a metrosexual. This time, I'm buying that aerosol evian water. Laugh if you must, that shit felt good on your face!

I don't remember if I ever talked about the latest craze in taxadermy. Freeze dried pets. I watched a show on Primetime about it. It's not like stuffing, it's actually your whole pet shaped into position, and put in an actual freezer. Freezing removes all the moisture naturally.

They seemed to be more squishy and less rigid when freeze dried. There was one woman in particular who had her cat let's call him 'fluffy' to protect his identity, freeze dried. He sits in a basket in her living room. She said she gets many compliments on how pretty her cat is, then she says "he's not alive". Kinda the saddest part of the show, was when she picked the cat up, and put him on her lap, and stroked him while doing the interview.

"Sometimes I can hear him purring" she said. "In your mind, right?" the interviewer said? "Oh, yes" she answered. You know that isn't what she meant. And I can't even rightfully make fun of the woman, because if I only had 1 pet and a grand to spare, I'd be hopping on the bandwagon too. The guy who does this service, seems to think that in time people will start freeze drying...um..people. I swear to God if I live long enough for this shit to happen, someone better freeze dry me.

The new Grey's Anatomy is on tonight!! For good measure, I watched the season finale last night, and cried, alot. Again. Also, I'm going to check out the new show Six Degrees. I decided against Jericho this year, because Entertainment Weekly already has it on their death watch list. Invasion was on the list last season. It was an awesome show, but it was still canceled. I'm still holding out for Sci Fi to pick it up. A girl can dream.

For anyone who missed the interview on The View with Janelle, Erika, and Mike Boogie of Big Brother, lucky for you, someone put it on You Tube. It's a must-see if you disliked the fact that Mike won.


R said...

I want to be freeze dried too. Maybe prop me up in a bar or something, with a permanent cosmo glued to my hand. Can you picture getting the whole family freeze dried and placing them around the dining room table and propping them up around the room like it was a party or something. Prop mom up with a tray of fake cookies in her hand. Almost like a wax museum. Then people could come and walk by and have history lessons about the year 2050.

supplymadam said...

People come up with the wierdest shit. I don't think I could have a freeze dried anything in my house(cept coffee) for fear it may come to life at night. Yikes!
I need a drink of water now.

Momma said...

Oh, Please!!! Do not freeze dry me. I would be the brunt of all the jokes at the parties. I can see it now, a cig hanging from my mouth, red lipstick and my hair teased with ribbons in it. You would dress me with my underwear on the outside of my clothes. I can picture me hanging from a tree on your camping trips, and working in your flower beds with my rear facing traffic. I would be the bobble head in your rear car window cross eyed and my tongue hanging out. At Christmas, I would have a gift on my lap and you guys saying "your turn mom, open your gift..hahaahaaaaa". You would probably get a sound box of my laugh with an on off switch. I would be like the goose on the door step dressed for all the seasons. On vacations, I would be the one buried in the sand with my head sticking out and everyone tripping over me. I would have a saddle bag over my shoulder and be introduced as the packmule. I would be in the window with a light on when you are away on a turn style dancing like in home alone. And oh, yes, wouldn't I be fun on the limo rides bar hopping?? You would say, no don't throw up on the floor, throw up on mom, we'll hose her off when we get home. Hill would hump grandmas leg and the cats would use me as a scratch post. And I demand a chastity belt and that Jay keep away from me. I think I need a living will made up so this does not happen to me.

Mon said...

I think it would make for some interesting conversations!

anything for a buck, ya know?

you had me laughing until I was crying and people walked by asking me what was so funny. You know your daughter all too well. A living will might not be a bad idea. You should want us to have a good time when you're gone, you could laugh at us from heaven. I thought you liked Weekend at Bernies? You forgot the best one, taking you on trips and putting the 'suburbanite' in your hand. Because they put those stupid pictures in the paper of people on vacations reading it. Or you could be like that gnome someone stole and traveled across the country.

Just Expressing Myself said...

The post was excellent, and the comments were great too.
I'm trying to imagine myself freeze dried.
I guess my daughter would have me sitting on a futon with my laptop - if she did no one would even guess that I was gone!

Mon said...

My mom is a hoot. I think it could be fun to be around like that. Watching people. "her eyes follow me everywhere"