Believe it or not, people do actually ask me how I got where I am mentally. How to change your negative thoughts around. Funny, because I use to be a big old ball of controlling emotions. A.k.a I was crazy. I actually came inches from stabbing my ex husband as he layed in bed. He totally deserved it, and that's not the worst thing I've done, or was done to me. The stories I could (and have) tell. Men drove me to those limits, so I thought. But in reality, I was the one in control of my emotions. No one did that to me, I allowed them to. The only one you have control over, is you.
I always say positive thinking helped me. Or, I read this or that book. So I compiled a list of books I think everyone should read.
Codependant No more - By Melody Beatty I read this one a couple times. It helps with control issues. Um, yea. This and therapy helped me. And, getting out of shitty relationships.
The language of letting go - By Melody Beatty which has one of the best lines ever..."Today I will trust that the events occurring in my life are not random. My experiences aren't mistakes, and the Universe, my Higher Power, and life are not picking on me. I'm going through exactly what I need to go through to learn something valuable-something that will prepare me for the joy and love that I'm seeking."
The Struggle For Intimacy (Adult Children of Alchoholics) By Janet Woititz Cus being thru hell with men, teaches you to build up big thick walls, and keep everyone out!
One Day My Soul Just Opened Up - Iyanla Vanzant - My friend Katie got me this when I was going thru my divorce. And once I was on medication (and bathing and feeding myself) it really helped me for a couple weeks. Until I got into the next abusive relationship. I didn't truely appreciate this until almost 10 years later when I started truley working on me.
The little book of letting go - Hugh Prather - I blamed my ex husband for years for "ruining my lifeand relationships. After all, because of him, I was afraid to open up, or continued to let men hurt me. But the key to that statement is, I let them do it. This really opened my eyes to the fact that he wasn't the problem. The fact that I still held on to the hatred after all this time, was my problem. "Failure to let go eats up the chances we have to be happy"
He's Just Not That Into You - Greg Beherendt, Liz Tuccillo, Lauren Monchik (which is being turned into a movie I saw the previews for) As silly as this book seemed, I really did need to read it. "You are worth a phone call". It shows us, as women the billions of things we explain away with men. "Oh, he didnt call me for a week....he was busy." No, if he really dug you, he'd call you to tell you he was busy. Or thinking about you. Open your eyes and read the book, and trust your intuition!
Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus - John Gray - Every man and woman should be required to read this book before entering into any relationship. You will learn that men do things because they are men. Not because they want to piss you off. The best thing you learn is that men physically can not multi task. They can't hear you while doing something else. They just can't. I bet that saved a marriage right there.
I'm So Wonderful Why am I Still Single - Susan Page - You ARE wonderful. While I learned the best line from my therapist, about people being the right size shoe, not the wrong people for you, what you have to learn on your own is that you are wonderful. When you believe it, so will others.
Self Matters - Phil McGraw - Yea, Dr. Phil. I liked this because it has a companion workbook that you write in, and it forces you to do the work.
Change your Thoughts Change Your Life - Wayne Dyer- I read this right after the secret. It got me completely excited about the law of attraction. Made me think that thoughts were more than passing things, and that they really can manifest change in your life. Memories are thoughts, but they make you feel emotion. Thoughts are more powerful than you give them credit for.
The Power of Intention - Wayne Dyer- teaches you how to focus on what you want in your life. Like attracts like. Believe that. Helps you turnaround your stinking thinking. (negative thoughts)
The Secret - of course, the secret. Which actually came out after all Wayne Dyers stuff, and many others. It just sort of "revolutionized" 'right thinking'. It's a movement you want to get on.