Back in the day, my friend Katie and I use to be able to watch Jerry Springer and that brought us joy because we could say "at least I'm not that chick who had 10 kids by her cousin". Or, "at least I didn't slave all day for Thanksgiving dinner, only to have a food fight on national TV". (remember that episode?)
You know, there is always someone out there bigger than you, hairier than you, uglier than you, more fucked up than you, their boyfriend is a bigger dick than yours, house is shittier than... You name it. In most cases, you should always be able to say, "my life is great" because in comparison to others, it's pretty flippin fantastic. Even if you're standing on the side of the road begging for food with a sign, at least you have a sign. What if you were deaf/blind/mute and had no sign? Then you'd be pretty pissed off. And hungry. See?
Since we don't have springer anymore, (come on you know that shit's made up) and you can't all have my ex-husband to be thankful you're not married to, fear not! I'm here to help. There are people in the world more screwed up than you. Unless you are one of these people. If that's the case, you may want to seek professional help. People actually want to be elves. If you want to be an elf and do this to yourself, I'd say even professional help may not be enough. My guess is that my friend Kat probably knows some nerd who has these.
Big Brother. Ok I think Michelle might be coming around. Maybe. I wish someone would kick Jerry out and make him watch the first HOH when everyone bullied him into doing what they wanted. I'd say he betrayed what, 3 people that week? He needs to shut up. I don't like religion, but if I did and someone was knocking me, I'd punch them in the face. Cus, that's totally what Jesus would do. Oh and did you watch the house calls when Steven told everyone Jerry calls Libra "the colored girl" when he can't come up with her name? That's way classy. He's one of those old farts who will use age as an excuse when convenient for him. He's racist, cus he's old. That's probably OK, right? But don't say he can't cut onions with the best of them cus he's 75 and should get an award for winning that veto. Puh. Leez.
Is it too soon to start the official countdown to the return Heros? It's only about a month. I love and hate heros (for the same reason as Lost...) because you cant say to someone "oh, you should watch heros". Cus you can't. You have to watch the whole series to understand it. You can't start now, and fully grasp why you should fear and hate Sylar. (dude just looks scarey!) Or how Hiro almost saved the world. Or, that Or why when Peter Petrelli goes into the future, and gains all his bad-ass powers, he becomes my favorite character on the show? Or why is everyone trying to save the cheerleader. Why is Claire's Dad such a tool the first season? You can't.
P.S. Doing two workouts today. B-l-a-h!